Promise? I'm foaming at the mouth for the Douchies. I was pulling for a Stackhouse sweep, but I'm thinking there is a new contender that popped up at the last second.

Hey! Dude bag has a new pair of shorts. Well, what with it being Sunday and all.....
 

But Stackhouse brings a fight song to the melee.....

I hope these egotistical 4Chan fuckers are self-flagellent Penitentes that beat their own child cocks* with mace hammers




*Child Cocks used courtesy of Jason Stackhouse, Stackhouse Poetry Publishing LLC, BMI, ASCAP, NMPA, HFA, MANBLA, G.L.A.D
 

Does this guy look a bit like Ted Danson, or is it just me? What is with the daisy dukes? He sucks so bad. So, so bad.
 

I think zyzzyx has a boner
 

In honor of Chanukah, Bar Refaeli Ass Pear.

The Rest
 

Willy Wanker & the Wankettes
 

@Anon, 11:09 a.m. -

And he's even measuring it for us: 2 inches.
 

"That being said, we'll keep mockin' here in the interim."

I think Neil Young wrote that in about 1989, didn't he? "Keep On Mockin' In The Glee World," or something along those lines.
 

Gunnery Seargent Hartman: How tall are you anyways?

Pvt. Douchebag: Sir, 7 feet six inches, sir.

Gunnery Seargent Hartman: No shit, I didn't know they stacked choad that high, are you trying to squeze an inch in on me somewhere?

Pvt. Doouchebag: Sir, no Sir!

Anyways, that's just my way of saying that this guy looks really tall.

Yeah, whatever.

tribal409 (T.A.P. Dance)
 

the elusive purple dong
 

Hey, look at this pic a little closer. Are those guys in the background doing battle with their "lightsabers"?

tribal409 (T.A.P. Dance)
 

These girls' lines of employment in two years, from left to right:
* CNA giving sponge baths to dying old people
* Stripper
* Though she's currently a barista at a drive-through 'spro stand, she'll quit in 5 months after finding out she's been pregnant for the last eight. She'll have idealistic fantasies of getting married to her boyfriend, who's just waiting for a promotion to Lead Forklift Operator at Costco, and move to an upscale apartment in Bankstown. Her severe postpartum depression and subsequent lack of sex drive will cause her boyfriend to cheat on her with one of her bff's, which she finds out about on facebook and the ensuing public display of melodrama on the internet creates a rift in her social order of friends, as friend after friend starts blocking her whiny wall posts. One warm sunny day in February, two days after getting served an eviction notice and arranging to move back in with her mom and step-dad (who sexually abused her from age 11 until she ran away from home at 17), the last two months of dealing with an obese boss who demands sexual favors in exchange for a disproportionate share of the tip jar and a colicy baby at home finally get to her. She grabs the baby in a fit of rage and shakes it, violently, in a desperate attempt to quiet it's incessant, shrieking cries. The infant's head snaps back and forward accompanied by a nauseating sound like someone breaking a head of celery in half. The cries silence, as all motion and life quickly leave the small creature. Only a quiet gurgling sound emanates from the freshly inanimate shell, and a slowly rising smell as its bowels empty themselves. She is to spend the next 15 years in prison, which she in essence serves only 3 of after dying from a massive bacterial infection brought on by an injury from a prison made Jolly Rancher dildo.
 

Or something similar.
 

Wow Zyzz is the king. Shredded as ever.
 

WikiLeaks and HCwDBs go down at the same time? What Did Stackhouse Know*?


*If Stacky knows anything.



P.S. It is I: Blinded by the Shite.
 

Damn that's some strong azz jelly. Zyzz if I am ever in Australia and I see you in the street I will purposely not look at you. Even if you're right in front of me.
You made me look up meme. Gaygay youyou areare.

Nancy "I'm anon fire." Dreuche
 

for what it's worth, i did email my Douchies writeup to DB1. booya.
 

Shit Boss I need the extra week. I have 17 candidates for "Crisis of Modernity" I need to whittle on down.
 

in unrelated news, i'm glad there's no category for "Hottest Jailbait" in the Douchies.

because this pic would have to be posted more than once.
 

Two brain cells left. He's always looking stupid and surprised.
 

rip zyzz