Give the douche a hard left cross and come to papa, baby.
 

Oh look he flat ironed his chia pet and glued it to his dome! This dude is a turd!

NIGHTMAN
 

I don't know, something tells me this one coul..VAG-BLAM!






ouwee
 

My guess she isn't a virgin.
My other guess is the Douche will remain a virgin.
 

she is super hott... love the eyes and the outfit. He's a major DB - SHOCK THE MONKEY!
 

Incidentally,

Scrotato, will you do your thing on VanHalen's 'everybody wants some'??


maybe use, 'get some!'
 

BTW I still have instidoucheanlized buy suicidal tend. going through my head. Bravo
 

@anon



by





*sniff sniff*
*fwap fwap*
*sniff sniff*
*fwap fwap*
 

This is one classy dame, I mean, this broad has all the makings of a night on the town in Vegas accompanied by me in my Men's Warehouse tuxedo as she sits in the next barstool lazily swinging a high heel from her toe as she twirls her hair with a finger and gazes away embarassed by my not very vague discussion of how long I can perform cunnilingus on a honey like her.







True story except for the tuxedo part
 

@ Wheezer


Have we seen her before?
 

@ Vin

how the fck is this btch going to sit IN the barstool?



GET SOME!!
 

Sock...

Monkey...

Madness!
 

or Monkey Hips and Rice...
 

Another suggestion for HCwDB 2.0:

"Ignore button" for Anons





I also should have spelled it "Men's Wearhouse"

Fuck you very much
 

@Anon,

That song has potential. No promises but I'll se if there's anything there. I've got a two-hour flight home tonight so I'll have a couple minutes. And thanks for the props on Instidouchenalized. That's one of my favorites.


In the short 20 seconds that followed this image the Nuzz Monkey humped Stephanie's leg so furiously that he become a spikey haired, squealing blur before igniting both of them in a semin fueled inferno of liquified polyester, exploding sequins and charred naugahyde.
 

vin, don't get your twat all sticky and bunchy.

jeez
 

As nice ass she is. She would look perfect with my huge load on her neck area,
 

A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!
 

Hey, Stephanie, why the long the face???
 

She's got another 5 years of Grade A Hott left in her (very good genes), but then it starts downhill. And right at that very start of the downhill slide is when you want to catch her. The first time she isn't let right into the club, the first time she doesn't get free stuff by some giggling idiot, the first time she realizes she's not immortal looks-wise, *that* is when you strike. That's when you can get a piece of that, when there's a chink in her self-perceptual armor.

First, though, you need to put a sniper round in the douchetastic Chia Pet choadscrote there. But I was planning on doing that anyways.
 

I think DB1's right here--that eminently grab-able ass is about 9 months away from turning into a beanbag chair. I'd make her last days pre-PTA as memorable as possible.

And by "memorable," I mean "sexually unsatisfying."
 

Yeah, I'm on a total old schoolDub Narcotic Sound System kick today. Who put the punk in my vitamins?

As to Stephanie here, I swear to almighty goodness that she looks exACTLY like my friend Grant's mom when we were kids. I didn't particularly like Grant, but I loved staying over at his place. I had such the little raging kiddie boner for that woman, and I still do.

Not little kiddie boner that is, but a normal adult boner.

Ah shit, there's no recovering from that one.
 

Is that The Barrowbag's Alana (2009 Douchie Winner)??

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2009/12/sexiest-back-curve-barrowbags-alana.html
 

I'd have thought that after Gigli the bouncers wouldn't even let Affleck into the clubs, let alone allow him the handle the meat.
 

Definitely NOT Alana. Stephie here has a much more pointed face.

And by pointed, I mean triangular.

And by triangular I mean cootre shaped. (That's how they spell Cooter in Canadian)

And by Cootre, I mean well, GUESS...
 

Mmmmmm.....sclera.
 

DB1 is in the lead for my 'Finest Writer of the 21st Century' Award:

"Stephanie's biological clock is about to ding to "Minivan Driving PTA Mom," but she's hangin' on the clubs with a bedazzled iPhone for as long as she can."

That's the kind of writing you would find in "Death of a Salesman".

Let's not take this treasure for granted.
 

...and that tiny fist of hers, curled in rage, oh, how I long to see it driven fast and hard into his right temple.
 

She's not that hot. Reminds me of an old Star Trek alien.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_RRIGqzPDF00/SYT60NPcjWI/AAAAAAAAD9M/lFmXRgvVj9Y/s400/BALOK+smiling.jpg
 

Medusa - hands curled in fisted rage to break satan's spell
 

To hell with her curled fist! I wanna curl her toes.
 

That white patch on her elbow? Bit of eczema from hitting the Stretch Limit on Nuzz's sphincter.

Come to me sweetie. Thanks to my high roughage diet and susceptibility to blackouts during binges, I can make it possible to move that patch up to your shoulder.

Raaawwwrrrr.
 

but does she vajazzle?
 

^ BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Ten bucks says yes. But only 'cause Jennifer Love Hewitt does it.

Whom I would thoroughly suckle, might I add, vajazzlement and all.
 

!lol!

*clicliclicliclikkclikclik DING!*

"Where the f--- did this kid in the soccer outfit come from? And what are these things on my belly.... AAaaah STRETCH MARKS!!!"

tho' he Nuzz is def douchey, one should admire his hand placement.

--VS
 

I say she's hott but nott. Horsey nose, great bod, wild expression (eye makeup works wonders).

He is the sorriest excuse for a douchebag I've seen in some time, with only the desperate slouch of a boozey Crimson Ted, and static-electricity hair. What carpet did he rub along before he clambered all over her?

ALL jerk and no style.
 

post-menopause Stephanie will probably still be hotter than any of the hotts featured in the last weekly. although not by much.

i need to drink more.
 

The jelly dong/water bottle hybrid lurks behind Nuzz. I guess later she's gonna shove it in his "cup holder" for a refreshing beverage that will waft the aroma of partially digested Big Macs and Red Bull. Obey your thirst, Stephanie.
 

Looks like back curve Alana
 

he looks like he popped out of a Gorillaz video (their new video is pretty cool though)
 

He looks like something that escaped from the Island of Dr. Morou, a weird beast/man hybrid. She looks like she's already imagining how much she's going to regret this night in about 10 years.
 

This chick has slumming JAP written all over. She'll remember this as her bad boyz period when shes suffering under some overweight sweating Dr./husband/acceptable nice man.
 

8 Belles from www.thedirty.com