"Wait, I think it moved. Nope, I'm homo."
 

"Uh-0h Darlene, mah momma tole me if I hung 'round wif loose wimmen I'd turn to stone, and I done already started..."

Her body was made for baby oil. And spatulas.
 

Small woody 2.0

Coming to a mall near you in April 2010. Or 2011.
 

Mommy, I see orange people...
 

"Wait....where's your pee-pee at, Darla?"

*steps back in horror*
 

After DB1's disturbing comparison to this dude's tiny boner, I may never consume another peep for as long as I'm allowed to tread upon the earth.

Damn you DB1.

BTW, You've never truly vomited, until you expel an entire box of peeps along with a fifth of Wild Turkey.
 

Any moment now, Woody is going to ask for a tissue.
 

Her french tips would look even better with my back skin underneath them.
 

Concentrating with all his might, Tiny was still unable to push out a suitable erection.

He did however, manage to shit a box of nerds, and a small phillips screwdriver.
 

HCwDB's tech support.

AV
 

Elastic Cloud Computing is your friend DB1. Sheesh, it's 2010, you don't need to be fiddling with hardware anymore. http://aws.amazon.com/ec2/
 

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Looking at her, you can tell she's the kind that would leave you DREAMING about having sex with her for years afterwards.
 

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Oh boy, DB1. You don't even know the hell you have gotten yourself into. I saw that you had decided to go to WordPress and just cringed.

You will be battling their shitty software for the rest of your fucking life. Posts getting eaten, bounced into modland for no reason, hours of downtime - better stock up on a lot of shitty bumwine. You're gonna need it.
 

Carol will fuck you till your dick falls off; and rest assured - it will.
 

I was about to ask what Carol is good for, but RAPETIME answered in advance.

I believe that. Completely.

She works for airplane bags of salted peanuts.
 

Something about the eyes says that once your dick has fallen off she may then proceed to fuck you until her jelly dong melts if she decides that you didn't do a good enough job. If she hasn't put scratch marks on the headboard then she will damn well make sure you do.
 

That girl is nastier than a cigarette butt, nose hair and santorum sandwich.

Nasty in a good way. i.e. bad way.
 

This is just sad...Hot girl rubbing against your crotch and and nothing is happening down there. Sad spectacle indeed.
 

I see more than just a few nearly flat surfaces in this photo. Of course there's the cub scout tent pitched in this guys pink shorts. But what's up with the mosquito bites? If the girl's gonna have stringy hair and gross armpit furrows, she better have some fucking tittays on her. How am I supposed to beat off to my computer screen in my mom's basement with Miss Orangey O'Mastectomy here?
 

I played bass in Tiny Pink Woody back in college.
 

"Jizzed in my pants!"
 

That's it?!?
 

At first when I read "popping Tiny Pink Woody" I thought the Boss meant some sort of drug and I was like, sweet, I want some of that. Who wouldn't want to pop some Tiny Pink Woody? And the douchebag sure looked like he was wasted, but then I thought, maybe DB1 means the hott's name is Tiny Pink Woody because she's kind of small and is the same color as my nightstand. But I noticed how orange she really was and figured the boss couldn't be that color blind and would have probably have said "Popping Tangine Flat Chesty" if he meant her.

Then I noticed the pink shorts, and I realized what DB1 meant was that he had a little Woody action figure from a McDonalds Happy Meal in his shorts and he was giving it to him good and hard.

And that made me feel better because I always liked the Toy Story song "You've got a friend in me".
 

if HCwDB is in the Matrix, then can i be Neo and a select hott be my Trinity?

i asked it first!
 

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
 

Well, her own Peeps are a tad flat but an unusual patterned bikini suggestive of transcendental meditation in India has Tiny Pink Woody mesmerized with his own little marshmallow.
 

She's a bruiser in bed, fo shizzle