Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Freddie Von Gimp

FIRST

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:05 AM

holy moly she's bangin.

HOH for her.

Garbage disposal for "him".

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:06 AM

At least she's picking his pocket for a few bucks.

And boobies!

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:11 AM

Dude needs to work on those eyebrows.

Scary.

# posted by

Southern Scrotic : 9:14 AM

I’d mud wrestle a cracked up Tiger Shark in the nude on a giant bed of nails just to nuzzle that cleavage after I poured strawberry milk on it in front of her sister.

AV

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:18 AM

He looks seriously fucked up, possibly the douche who is most obviously a drug abuser ever posted on HCWDB.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:20 AM

You know that movie gimmick where someone slips his victim a "micky", but the intended victim switches the drinks around? Freddie here looks like he just ate himself four roofies that way.

His jacket is shiny. So is she. Shiny Shiny.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:27 AM

She's DAYUM!

He's DAYUM WTF taze him!

The not-a-wo-but-man in the background is DAYUM dude, you're not fooling anyone.

# posted by

Colin Nekritz : 9:39 AM

Actually upon further inspection near her wonderful cleavage, if you can take your eyes off them, look just to the right and you'll notice she's actually pushing him away, or trying to, with her hand with something in it, maybe a piece of paper, with the words "NO means NO" on it probably. In other words, looks can be deceiving, a bit like the guy in the wig in the background. It's clear upon looking further cutie here doesn't really want the douchebag up in her personal space.

# posted by

Colin Nekritz : 9:41 AM

Brenda will probably not desire the humpty hump at 2:17am from me, either. Therefore, I shall do the wackty wack at 2:17am while staring at her picture. After I photoshop this floating turd out of the picture.

I might, or might not, also photoshop out Brenda's mother there in the background. Depends on how freaky-deeky I feel.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:41 AM

"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours."

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:42 AM

Oh, Brenda will want the Humpty-hump; just let me flash some of my patented chick-melting data regression routines at her table. I've got one particular quantile regression script (panty_remover.pl) that never fails to get the data entry girls damp.

And if that doesn't work, I'm pretty sure I can bag her mom there in the background by writing a script that automatically polls her Tivo for new episodes of family Guy and autogenerates a complaint email to the FCC.

And if that doesn't work, I can at least rest assured that Baron Von Goolo is gonna tear this guy a new colostomy hole for destroying a perfectly good hearse to make that suit.

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 9:44 AM

"Freddie.... Not in front of my mother"

"That's not your mother that's me dad. I'm British remember?"

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 9:45 AM

Looks like Brenda has successfully slipped some iocane powder in his drink. He fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"!

Thanks goodness it looks like her mom in the back is calling for security to get rid of his carcass.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:46 AM

^ Keep 'em coming, good Doctor.

If I may:

"I'll call the Brute Squad!"
"I'm on the Brute Squad."
"You ARE the Brute Squad!"

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 9:54 AM

"I don't care if you ARE Adam Lambert, I'm not doing that with you!"

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 9:55 AM

@Captain Bringdown

I see your algorithms and raise it to differential geometry. I will mathematically and graphically describe the three distinct kinds of geodesics on a cylindrical surface, and after that, she'll be ready to do a hands-on lab with my cylinder.

What? I meant the middle pahalanx of my right ring finger..that cylinder. What did you sick fucks think I meant?

# posted by

Justin C. : 9:59 AM

Brenda: "Mom, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?"

Brenda's Mom: "I didn't think they actually existed!"

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:03 AM

Brenda is restoring my taste in blondes once again. Wow!

# posted by

Unknown : 10:14 AM

@Mr White.
I bet you'd do all that in FORTRAN as well wouldn't you, you deviant?

FWIW I think this picture is actually from the LHC. It is a shot of what happens when a strange quark hits bottom at several TeV. (crickets)

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 10:16 AM

That joint wouldn't perchance be the Korova Milk Bar, would it?

# posted by

El Queso : 10:19 AM

@ Scroteophobic

Where you been?

We are actually witnessing the discovery of a new particle; the lurpton. It is a WIMP that was formed due to the weakening of gravity as you move away from a Q-brane.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:26 AM

@ Scroteophobic and Mr. White

Mr. White is so badass that he writes all his code in Pascal.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:28 AM

@bunsen

True story: My intro CS courses in college were taught in Pascal.

I am that badass.

# posted by

Justin C. : 10:29 AM

This is what happens to you when you're a nut-twistingly hott hostess at a popular restaurant/bar and you spout insanely erotic and nasty come-ons like "How would you like to pay your tab?"

Brenda, you slutty vixen, next you'll be telling him his Chevron card's been rejected.

And by slutty vixen I mean splurt splurt splurt!!!!!. You are the creamy filling in my Hostess Cup Cakes. I would walk in front of a north bound SPLURT SPLURT SPLURT!!!!

Ah, forget abo SPLURT!

Damn. I need a drink of water.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:36 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass he writes all his code in cuneiform.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:37 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass he writes all his code in Pawnee Indian smoke signals.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:38 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass he writes all his code with urine in the snow.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:38 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he uses a abacus faster than most people can use a calculator.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:40 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass he writes all his code in paleolithic cave art.

Several well known douchebags are now working towards their masters.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:40 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass his code can be found on the Dead Sea Scrolls.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:42 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he knows pi to 4,723,836,119,253 decimal places.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:43 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass he writes his code with the German ENIGMA code machine.

Wow. That's both nerdy and obscure.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:44 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he named his slide rule Oughtred. Look that shit up muthafuckahs!

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:45 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that in his spare time he writes machine language code on punch cards.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:46 AM

Captain Bringdown is so bad ass he knows pi to 4,723,836,119,254 decimal places.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:46 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he invented the interwebz 10 years before Al gore did.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:46 AM

What the heck is "the greater Atlanta tri-region area"??

That doesn't make any sense.

I see boobs.

# posted by

Georgia Visitors Bureau : 10:47 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass he had his slide rule made out of the last White Rhino's cockk.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:47 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass his slide rule is a Sybian attachment.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:48 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that has a license plate that reads

HSiisESi*

A bad representation of the Schrodinger Equation.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:49 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass he can make "Easting Cherry Pi" jokes all day long and nobody tells him otherwise.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:49 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that his pocket protector is made of Plinky's mom's 75th labial fold.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:51 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he celebrates every March 14.

Get it, Pi Day!

*crickets crickets crickets*

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:52 AM

^"eating"

Damn. Mr. White is so bad ass he can east Cherry Pi and nobody's gonna tell him otherwise for that either.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:52 AM

Mr. White so so bad ass that he knows why a Higgs field is utter rubbish.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:53 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass he uses actual porn stars to calculate cylindrical volumes.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:54 AM

Mr. White is so badd ass he's proven the String Theory is actually just about tampons.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:56 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass he's worshipped as a sexual god is 8.253774 parallel dimensions.

Of course he has both a penis and vagina in these dimensions, but that's part of being bad ass.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:57 AM

Mr. White is bad ass that he's won all of the Fields Medals ever awarded. He just used pseudonyms for all his work.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:57 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that in some dimensions he's mistaken for Samurai Scrote.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:58 AM

Mr White is so badass that when he raises e to the i times pi, and adds the results to 1, he DOESN'T get just any zero as an answer. He gets a BADASS ZERO as an answer, and Euler shits himself in terror.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:59 AM

MR White is so bad ass that he can calculate the air-speed velocity of a coconut laden swallow.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:00 AM

Mr. White is so badass when he rejected Mensa, his letter was in binary.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:00 AM

@ Troy

Excellent one!

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:00 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that Newton asked HIM for help with his calculus.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:03 AM

Mr. White is so badass his Python scripts qualify as porn.

AV

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:06 AM

@Troy,

You dog!

Mr. White is so badass whenever he sees Stephen Hawking he squeezes his breathing tube and makes him type "I'm your sucky sucky" over and over again on his voice simulator before stealing his chair to do aerials in the parking lot.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:07 AM

Freddie didn't die? INCONCEIVABLE!!!

# posted by

Hong Kong Douchey : 11:08 AM

Mr. White is so badass he visits Carl Sagan's gavesite every year on the anniversary of his death and violently disproves his theories in front of the weeping Mrs. Sagan before she willingly lets him violate her with his White Rhino cockk slide rule.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:09 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he knows why matter can behave as both particles and waves.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:13 AM

Mr. White is so badass he gave up punch cards to code in APL.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:17 AM

Mr. White is so badass he's single handedly told anti-matter to stay the f*ck out of our business.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:19 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he can withstand TeV's worth of suck.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:19 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he can actually teach my students something. Anything.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:20 AM

Mr. White is so baddass he's tied the Mayan calendar, the Christian Apocolypse, and Francine's ultimate descent into Bleethdom to the same day; August 24, 2013.

Stupid Mayans, get your shit together.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:21 AM

AV FTW.

Mr. White is so badass that he when he was a kid PBS made him his very own version of Sesame Street, brought to him by Greek letters and imaginary numbers.

# posted by

End the Haberdouchery : 11:23 AM

I'm out for a bit fellas. Gotta go teach. Keep it up. I shall return.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:24 AM

Mr. White is so badass I've gone to the next posting to spread the word of his ultimate badassness.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:25 AM

Mr White is so badass, he knows all the digits of Graham's number.

In reverse order.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:31 AM

Mr. White is so badass I'm actually researching what the hell you guys are referring to in all your posts, so I can feel closer to Mr. White.

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 11:31 AM

Mr. White is so badass that matched pairs of matter and anti-matter won't annihilate each other on contact until HE says they can.

# posted by

Unknown : 11:42 AM

Mr. White is so badass he codes his shit in binary using nothing but a glass of water, one of those bobbing science class birds, and the "B" key on his keyboard. The "B" stands for "Badass".

# posted by

Unknown : 11:45 AM

Oh DB1, Atlanta doesn't have a tri-region area.

# posted by

Unknown : 11:57 AM

If I were you guys, I'd be mindful of the large pile of empty Mountain Dew bottles behind Mr. White's desk before you start snuffling his sack like that. Just saying...

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 12:06 PM

Mr. White is so badass that he's ignoring the reacharound all of you boxjobs are giving him because he's too busy solving the Millennium Problems with his right hand while steadying a Thai contortionist with his left.

# posted by

Baron Von Goolo : 12:08 PM

Plus, if Mr White was REALLY that bad-ass, he'd be able to draw freehand a cross section of a solid with negative curvature at all surface points, with one thumb firmly lodged in Brenda's pooper.

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 12:09 PM

Mr. White is so badass that I've come back to this thread to point out that he's so badass he used Jenna Jameson's collection of used breast implants, a box of dry Playdough, and a 9-volt battery to prove the existence of Smurfs.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:10 PM

Captain Bringdown is so badass he called out Mr. White over a plate of shrimp fajitas and Brenda's starfish pooper.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:11 PM

Mr. White's not ignoring this. He just can't type because of all the salty fuccen tears of laughter.

I'm truly honored.

# posted by

Justin C. : 12:14 PM

Medusa is so badass she inserted Mr. White's slide ruler and declared that it was off .00000025.

Baron Von Goolo contested the findings and with his penis concluded it was off .000000253.

Pffft. Perfectionist.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:14 PM

Mr. White is so badass, Adam Jones took his first guitar lessons from him.

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:20 PM

I was trying to come up with my own clever Mr White is so badass joke but I read so many sexy math/physics puns in this thread I jizzed all over my phone and now I have to take it to the Verizon place to awkwardly ask if they can clean it. Thanks, guys!

Also, Mr. White is so badass his path of least action says eff you Hamilton and finds its own null geodesic.

# posted by

Fit Astronomer : 12:43 PM

Dicy is so badass she jizzed ....

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:55 PM

Dicy is so badass I jizzed....

# posted by

Fatness : 1:12 PM

@ Captain Bringdown 12:09 PM

The freehand drawing isn't that badass: Brenda's pooper is a three-dimensional cross-section of a four-dimensional solid with negative curvature at all points; anyone can draw that with tracing paper and a number 2 tarmal.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:15 PM

@ Fatness 1:12 PM

We all did. We all did.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:16 PM

^ In my case, with a circular slide rule.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:17 PM

boxjobs....heh heh

boxjobs....

# posted by

DarkSock : 1:20 PM

Mr. Scrotato Head is so badass, anons don't even interrupt the reg circlejerks he starts

# posted by

jeff g. : 1:46 PM

While I agree that all of our baghunters and baghuntresses are bad ass, I must divert attention back to this unholy photo.

Why has some no-name geneticist tried to become as bad ass as the HCwDB staff? After all, who in holy Hell would try to splice the genes of Alan Rickman with those of Tom Green to form Emo Frankenscrote here?

Just.....why?????

Regardless of the answer, Brenda needs rescuing. By me. She has some motorboatable boobies.

# posted by

Wheezer : 1:48 PM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he made Einstein cry because he made him feel stoopid. And not the salty fuccen tears of joy kind.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:10 PM

Mr. White is so bad ass that his home built quantum computer figured out the world's largest prime number in 0.000000000256 seconds.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:11 PM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he actually lives in a black hole and communicates with us via the 9th dimension.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:11 PM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he knows the solution to n-th order non-linear differential equations. Without using boundary conditions or approximations. Yeah, he's that bad assed.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:13 PM

^^

Yeah none of that liner combination shit to get the general soln!!

# posted by

Fit Astronomer : 2:49 PM

100

# posted by

NOT THIS TIME, TM! : 3:28 PM

@ Scrotato 11:07 & 12:14

You put the hot sauce on my burrito, baby.

@ Wheezer 1:48
And you brought chips. EPIC. Thanks for the laughs, kids, it's been a rough few days.

Mr. White is so badass that under his tutelage I have the match skills of a drunk chimp instead of a dead chimp.

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 3:31 PM

The delightflu Brenda is top-shelf hott. Her cleavage calls to me in dulcet tones that reverberate in my nether regions, producing a most pleasant effect. Freddie is excellent douchemeat, bringing to mind the word 'assbile' for some reason. And by excellent I mean very much like yak shit that moves around.

# posted by

Abdouchah the Butcher : 3:37 PM

Mr. White is so bad ass that when asked to solve 2 + 2 in grammar school he replied,

"Anything I SAY it is, motherfucker!"

Sorry. I topped out at Algebra II so I haven't got any higher math comedy.

I think Brenda may have cracked one of her lumbar vertebra bending away from the undead douche.

# posted by

Horace Dangleballs : 3:52 PM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he's the only person in Flatland to 6-dimensional.

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:31 PM

^ to be Godammnit!

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:32 PM

phew. finally squeezed that one out after missing out on yet another meme.

# posted by

Steve L. : 4:58 PM

Mr. White is so badass that when human technology eventually runs into the fundamental maximum limit for processing speeds, scientists will be going after Mr. White's DNA.

# posted by

Steve L. : 5:03 PM

Mr. White is so badass that he teleports to and from work via a wormhole, which is made traversable by the mere command of Mr. White's voice.

i feel kinda guilty for this one after so many nth dimensional jokes, but strictly speaking, nobody mentioned wormholes yet, right?

# posted by

Steve L. : 5:33 PM

@ Medusa 3:31

That would be "MATH skills". I'm so bad at it, I can't even spell the word "math". How about that.

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 6:22 PM

This scrote has to make next week's weekly. He looks like Ming the Merciless on Vicodin sticking a key into an electric socket. And she's really beautiful, Hall of Hott material.

# posted by

Unknown : 6:45 PM

Mr. White is so badass he made the Kessel Run in less than 11 parsecs...in his pajamas.

Eat that Han Solo. Bitch.

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:54 PM

Mr. White is so badass he's got Medusa thinking that a double ended horse-shoe shaped jelly dong, a case of Beanie-Weenies, a one legged pygmy named Karl, and a high-def copy of Bo Derek's Tarzan is math lessons.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:00 PM

@ Medusa

Tell 'em you meant maths. Then everyone will think you're British.

@ Steve L

The wormhole is Freddie von Gimp's, and it's got nothing to do with multidimensional space.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:00 PM

Is anybody stil commenting about the Freddie von Gimp/Brenda Hotchick photo>

# posted by

Miss Anonymous : 12:37 AM

I guess it's just me.

# posted by

Miss Anonymous : 2:08 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he still programs on his TRS-80 using cassette tapes.

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:16 AM

Mr. White so is bad ass that he wrote a program so that when he connected his Apple IIe and Commodore 64 together it became the worlds first supercomputer. All it did was write scripts for finding midget amputee porn on the interwebz but that's beside the point.

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:18 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that he he uses quantum foam to brush his teeth.

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:19 AM

Goddammit... A physics and maths pun thread about Mr ~White and I miss it. For what it is worth I was ... wait a minute. Breaking fucking news. Mr White is so badass that while I was apologising for not coming up with how badass he was my house filled with smoke. Better go find out what that was. BRB.

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 10:59 AM

Mr White is so badass that he decided to mock me by leaving an oven glove in my oven while I was cooking.

For anyone interested I can vouch for the fact that the metal insulating stuff they have in them fucking stinks when it is on fire.

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 11:03 AM

Mr White is so badass that singular matrices invert themselves rather than face his iterative approach.

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 11:05 AM

Mr White is so badass that the Kronecker delta of i,j is equal to one only if i=j or Mr White says so.

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 11:12 AM

Mr White is so badass that his papers have a Shannon Entropy of 3.1415

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 11:15 AM

... to mere mortals

Fucking smoke is getting to me.

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 11:17 AM

Mr White is so badass that d/dWhite of any monotonic function reduces to P.ln(Butt)

Yup smoke is now officially choking me to death. Probably a good idea to go open some windows and try to clean off the smoke marks.

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 11:27 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that when his wave function is normalized it can vary anywhere between the value for Planck's constant to Avogadro's number.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:25 PM

Postscript for DB1...
This photo is worth entering into your special fine arts category...great lighting and contrasts, luscious drop-dead hottie, depraved douchebag, and something which makes it all come together in a very special way: little devilish touches of red, yellow, purples, black satin, eerie blue-gray effects on the hair and background.
I say that strictly because Mr White is SUCH a badass that he stole the show from the comments thread and gave everyone a case of ADHD.

# posted by

WhoopingCraneLover : 2:57 PM

Well, I lived.

Mr White is so badass he once peed in a Klein bottle. No one knows how he got in there.

Mr White is so badass that scientists are still trying to hush up the fact that the ripples in the CMB, when converted into sound waves, sound like someone saying "Why the hell are there no butts to pee in yet?"

Mr White is so badass that he signs his name 77 114 46 32 87 104 105 116 101. Or 010011010111001000101110001000000101011101101000011010010111010001100101 in longhand.

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 7:49 AM

Mr. White is so bad ass that LaPlace does Mr. White transformations.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:09 AM

Mr White is so badass that he can pee in butts non-commutatively.

Mr White is so badass that MrWhite space is a specific form of Hilbert space in which all permutations of the basis vectors can only be transformed into each other by a vigorous jelly-donging.

Mr White is so badass that his state of badass can only be reached by an infinite series of conformal transformations expressed in five more dimensions that there really are.

Mr White is so badass that when Chuck Norris and Mr T challenged his to a badassery competition he compactified two of their dimensions, turning them into the first example of a perfect geometric line this world has ever seen. Then he flossed with them.

Mr White is so badass that he is the reason for the Lithium 7 deficit in the universe. 7s piss him off and not even the primordial singularity wanted to upset him later on.

Mr White is so badass that he seems to have drawn all the physics and laths geeks out of the woodwork on this site!

# posted by

Scroteophobic : 8:20 AM

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Freddie Von Gimp

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