Wednesday, March 03, 2010

 

The Dorm Hole


Ubiquitous Red Cup tells us that this foursquare of poo is unredeemable Jerz crank flushitude.

Except for Marnie on the left. Who is awkward and shy. And only wears Ed Hardy because she developed at a young age and is still terrified by all the attention her boobies bring.

But I would not focus on her boobies, like everyone else. Instead, I would gnaw her ankles lightly, and with a touch of wasabe.

Until she called down to the lobby to ask the R.A. to have me removed from the premises. Since I'm not a student.

And I'd leave quietly.
Comments:
I'd petal her rose
 
Ummm yeah, boobs, hott, nasty stuff....


Goddammit.


I'm done for the day. Stupid brain.
 
I'm voting that this boy is gayer than the winter night is long. Still douchey, but his threat level is 0. Marine and I will be out back doing shots and laughing about the other girls while Romeo here does our hair.
 
there is an actual visual representation of the Bleething process in each girls hair... interesting...
 
Three college hotties and their gay friend who works the desk at 24 Hour Fitness. Yes! The brunette's even wearing pink spandex shorts. This day is smiling upon me.
 
Ed Hardy makes mumus?
 
Ed Hardy makes Bump-Its(tm)?
 
Ed Hardy makes aSnuggie™?
 
Is it just me, or is his head tilted at an unnatural angle.
 
Poor, sweet Marnie. You have dedicated the better part of your freshman and sophomore years to get Miguel to notice you and your deep, profound love for him. Only to be repeatedly hurt when he only wants to discuss hair coloring techniques and the incredible work done on Bravo's Shear Genius.
 
@ Jacques

Isn't that shit on the front of the kid's shirt that tatt from A Boy Named Poo?
 
Marnie is early-developed shy girl goodness, and I weep because I cannot be the one who brings her out of her shell. Which would then allow me at them awesome funbags of hers.

Sorry to douche out sexually for a second there, but DAMN girl!
 
I know the girl on the right has some orange-y tan going on plus a BumpIt, but I think she can be saved. And by "saved" I mean "scrubbed down and had her taut, Spandex'd bottom spanked by me."

I see your Peek-a-Boob pink bra under your t-shirt, you naughty Jerz vixen.
 
Dear overtanned brunette on the right,

Go easy on the Bumpits® next time, girl. Your homo-douche stylist knows what I'm sayin'. Makes your goddamn head look Marge Simpson's.

Sincerely,
Bagnon'

PS. And by "sincerely" I mean "I'd like to sniff the seat of the stationary bike you used at the gym, even if three people, including that hairy Greek guy who tried to hit on you, have used it since your ass was last on it."
 
Dammit, MR. White! You really are badass--you beat me to the lovely brunette AND the Bumpit joke.

...I'll go back under my desk now...
 
By the time Marnie is forty, she'll spend her days watching Oprah and Dr. Phill as an overweight, chain-smoking mother of three, suffering from chronic back pain.
Her shy awkwardness will be replaced by bouts of depression and a distinct hatred of men.
 
it is the MANGO!
 
What we have here is a new scrotal mutation: "The Situation"-Bag.
 
Why, I just could whack him upside the head all day long with this surgical two-by-four...but, I got other patients.
 
Bumpits are not only styling tool, but they also cushion the blows of banging the headboard during sex.

But not from this choad.
 
Staged
 
I think the guy that punched Snookie decked this guy with his left and it stuck that way.
 
bumpit + ed hardy + tan megadouche + ubiquitous red cup = jersey shore party. doesn't make it right but these guys are probably a tad more tame in real life.
 
Nice "pretending to be a Hollywood Celebrity" sunglasses. It's a shame that every ho-bag skank in the country has already adopted them.


And how did Raphaello the pool boy get in this picture? Dixie is waiting for that cocktail.
 
Spring break is in the air, spring break is in the air...
 
i agree "just sayin" those shades would be a bargain buy of a luxury look if they werent being modelled by someone as cheap as tht bleethy bitch hah
 
4 tet
 
I want. A fucking. SLEDGEHAMMER.

He needs. His fucking. Lips smashed by it.
 
Try as you might...you just can't donkey-punch a Bumpit ®
 
Gradienthair on the left tagged along.

Sunglasses wears Ed Hardy, but only in pastels, to show her sensitive side. Also enjoying the Vogue-ing she's recieving.

Bumpit Brunette recycles the prom date pose, out of ideas.

and Chode in middle is in deathly need of the rotate tool, going for the elusive "Stephen Hawking neck"
 
i would not be able to leave quietly.

DB1, you're such a gentleman.
 
so which level of Dante's Inferno is the Dorm Hole?
 
i'd f' her titties... sorry, just, that's what i'd do...
 
I think this is dress up. The girls look too waspy and and there is too much irony in the smiles here...

Plus makeshift wristdanas and no tats.
 
Pretending to be douche is still proof of doucheosity.
 
the bumpit is beautiful, its like 80s hair without the commitment, or the encyclopedic knowledge of white lion lyrics, with multiple projected meanings...

and i would bang the brunette, drunk or sober, but, i wouldn't go bareback. in fact i don't think i could get an erection without my dick actually seeing the condom, perhaps even two....

so this raises the existential question; is my dick turned on by the girl, or the condoms?
 
While big hair is old news, for ages that awful ironed-out Marcia Brady look was it. And then a trend-setting woman came along and turned it all around. The thing that amuses me is that I don't even think all these twits know who they're emulating with all this Bumpits crap.

Even funnier 'cause I know they all voted for Obama.
 
fu
 
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