Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The Wizard of Noz
Top Gun aviators? Check.
Ed hardy + bling? Check.
Zomborific douche-face? Check.
Dorothy, you're not in Kansas anymore. So be careful! Toto's an 80s rock band and the Flying Monkeys have the lip herp.
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For the other T-101's not chosen to be sent back in time to kill Sarah Connor, they were used anyway to terminate self-esteem in impressionable young women.
S.A.N.* Douche telegraphs his Freudian intent with his phallic grasp easing towards her cherry lip gloss...run, Dorothy, run.
*Sunglasses At Night
*Sunglasses At Night
Corey was forced to an eternity of staring at naked fluorescent bulbs through cheap sunglasses after a tragic fellatio handlebar gloryhole incident froze his neck vertebrae in the "up" position.
But still booger-free!
But still booger-free!
This dude's lucky the girl's pic is blurry--it makes it ambiguous in a court of law. I have it on good authority that he walked in on her Quinceañera celebration.
In spite of perky Tina's natural beauty, Jeff couldn't look away from the spectacle of Plinky's Mom's tower of sputtering ass fat haunched over the platter of hot wings like a bloated tick on a puppy's eyeball.
At three in the morning, when the Cowardly Loin's got Dorothy pinned to the hood of his car, bent over with her knit dress pushed up, her panties tossed off in the bushes somewhere, giving her the semi-flacid Emerald Shitty, she can click her heels together all she wants, he ain't letting her go home anytime soon.
# posted by 
: 7:39 AM
: 7:39 AM
She looks like she is smiling through her tears.
He looks like a rat sniffing a piece of cheese.
Call Orkin, girlfriend.
He looks like a rat sniffing a piece of cheese.
Call Orkin, girlfriend.
"Dear diary,
I wish I could remember what happened last night. My poopie is bloody and every time I burp it tastes like Axe body spray and raw onions."
I wish I could remember what happened last night. My poopie is bloody and every time I burp it tastes like Axe body spray and raw onions."
He is a douche of the week contender, but she's a nott and therefore will weaken his chances to win.
# posted by : 9:11 AM
: 9:11 AM
This picture oozes self esteem issues.
Excuse me, I have to go shower. In acid.
Excuse me, I have to go shower. In acid.
# posted by : 10:08 AM
: 10:08 AM
This guy is famous in the scientific community. He is the only person to be conceived by a handjob in the cab of a Kenworth and birthed by anal leakage. Look it up on the interwebz.
# posted by : 11:04 AM
: 11:04 AM
Her face just screams, "Yes, he's a total asshole douche but he's MY total asshole douche." Poor girl.
# posted by : 11:05 AM
: 11:05 AM
I know that girl. I can't remember her name, but I totally know that girl.
Dangit.
I would love to remember, find her number, call her, and then interrogate her.
Dangit.
I would love to remember, find her number, call her, and then interrogate her.
# posted by : 4:08 PM
: 4:08 PM
She is all kinds of wonderful. And she needs some way to wipe off some of the excess lipstick.
# posted by : 12:29 AM
: 12:29 AM
holy shit did DB1 just give a subtle nottadouche pass to the entire state of Kansas?
for Dorothy, i guess it's well worth it.
now excuse me while i falsify my birth certificate.
for Dorothy, i guess it's well worth it.
now excuse me while i falsify my birth certificate.
The bag has that particular head tilt because HE CAN'T SEE! He's trying to look under the bottom of his cheap aviator frames for some visual reference.
I'm pretty sure I banged little Melissa... in 1985.
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I'm pretty sure I banged little Melissa... in 1985.
# posted by : 9:38 AM
: 9:38 AM << Home
