Can't.....formulate rational thoughts.....uuuggghhh.
 

This is the woman we all hoped would move in next door as teenagers.
 

He looks like a personal banker at Wells Fargo. She looks like a teller there, which is why I use Wells Fargo for all my personal banking needs.

That's correct, I would like that $100 in ones, just to watch you subtly press your breasts together as you lay each dollar bill out on the counter.
 

Not that I would be complaining if it happened next week.
 

Ghetto dwellers are now down with Ed in a big way too....not sure if it's really a new strain of douche though.
 

My sweet lawd in hebben. She is a precious blonde angel o’ muhcy, ain’t she? My lil' surfah gurl. I have desires for her that would possibly get me incarcerated. For a second time. I don’t want to go back to that bad place. But I do want take this tender cut of grade-A meat out to the woods and leave her there for a week.



In my dreams.



Mmmm. Mmmmm.

Roosevelt T. Berman, CPA
Chase Manhattan
Rancho Cucamonga Branch
Cubicle D-8
 

Mmmmmmm....melons.
 

John Gosselin’s exuberance was unquelled as Deidra explained her recent hysterectomy.
 

The veins bubbling through Millie Milfington's forehead carry blood, oxygen and silicon to her frontal lobe ... and any coherent thoughts away.

If she's as dumb as she looks, there's a good shot at climbing onto them good ship lolipops. Capitol of Nebraska? Who gives a shit, pull them puppies outta that dress, G/F.
 

Bewbs.

And she has some nice forehead fuck veins going on, I like it; they give me dirtier thoughts, like a senario involving a muskrat hide, a box of stale peeps, Elmer's Glue, and a calcified goiter.

Oh yeah baby, let's get this party started.
 

^ Damn it Vin, beat me to the veins by one minute, you're such a cockk!
 

@Caruso

I am perplexed as to why an Ed Hardy catalog would be near the cardio machines. Douches do not typically do cardio. In actuality this scenario further emphasizes the HCwDB cause, hear me out:

Women tend to dominate the cardio equipment in a gym, so some little sweety had interest in Ed Hardy, the douche sees that the sweety has interest in Ed Hardy and buys said attire. Its a vicious circle that angers the masses. And by masses I mean me. And by anger I mean a terse comment in a blog.

Dr. DB
 

Boobs by Dr. Goldfrey. Necklace by Harry Winston. Still, I'd pass her over even if I could afford to be her dentist's 2nd cousin's landscaper. She's meh.
 

Boobs.
 

Suddenly hungry and thirsty at the same time.
 

Did someone say Boobs?
 

I wonder, did the Ed Hardy catalog have, like, words and everything?

Also, I made some love stains in my groinal area of my pants upon first glance at Milfy McSweettits there. Day-um.
 

This clone of Jessica Simpson is just as hott and probably just as smart as the real one.
 

Bubba the Love Sponge calls them bolt-ons , "Diaco's".


As in famed plastic surgeon , Dan Diaco. This came in handy on the recent trip to Vegas as whenever a nice rack came by I'd nudge the Bro-In Law and say , "Check out them Diacos."

Then we'd giggle like schoolgirls reading Tiger Beat magazine after drinking three Red Bulls and splitting a bag of Pixie Sticks.
 

It's been said, but dammit, I'll say it again...

Boobies.

Supplies that I'd bring to our rendezvous would include: a jungle-gym, strawberry-banana yogurt, forceps, pixie sticks, superballs, a tub of vasoline, and Lysol disinfecting spray.

And by rendezvous, I mean trashy motel room.

AV
 

@VD

You beat me to Pixie sticks? What are the chances? Bastard.

AV
 

He must have convinced her that he's a casting agent and that the next episode of Burn Notice calls for a dental hygienist. I can conceive of no other explanation for this picture.
 

Damn! I was going to post something about Burn Notice, too. Something Bruce Campbell-ish....

I would have been three-for-three
 

Yeah, I was waxing Bruce Campbellish too but I thought that if I'd posted that I wanted to cut off her head with a shovel and bury her in a shallow grave in a possessed forest, then I'd probably end up on anotherrrr FBI watchlist and who's got that kind of time. Am I right, fellas?

(cricket, cricket, cricket)

...ah. Yes. Rrrrrright. Okay then...
 

She can give me chlamydia anytime.
 

@Caruso,

Your question got me thinking again about the $120 f*cking Ed Hardy bag my ex-hott/bleeth-in-law got her seven year old daughter to carry her books in. The reason I remembered about the bag is I nearly fell over the goddamn thing as I was heading out to the car this morning. The damn thing's nearly big enough to dispose of a body in. It's on the garage floor because my niece comes to our house every day after school and tends to leave her stuff lying around. I love the little kid, she's sincerely awesome, but if I see that bag in the garage when I come home today its going under the wheels I f*cking shit you not.

Ed Hardy is to clothes what rap/hip-hop has become to music. In rap some half-talented asshat starts grabbing samples of quality music that has come before, strings the loops together, then shits all over the pile in a diuretic orgasm of inane lyrics repeated over and over and over again until the original bits of real music are reduced to mere chunks of corn in steaming wank suet.

Ed Hardy does the same thing. Audigier’s "designers" put on their creativeness hats, grab their blunt-nosed kiddy scissors, open up their parent’s coffee table books and start cutting out pieces of artwork that has come before. Lithographed scrolls, leaves and branches, swirls, feathers, etc. Gothic skulls, birds, skeletons. They take samples of existing art, grab the Elmers, stick their black nail polished fingers down their prolapsed throats and vomit as much as they can onto a piece of ungodly fabric and viola - instant polyp popping colon candy.

Are there any good rap/hip-hop artists? A few. But looping samples while your posse grunt out "YEAH!" and "WHAT?!" doesn't make you an artist anymore than putting your name above a bunch of familiar cultural symbols makes you a fashion designer. It does mean you've mastered the art of manipulating the masses who, for whatever reason, seem more than willing to fulfill their role in 20 million consumers - one cup. More and more air time and shelf space gets dedicated to this vacuous, forgettable trash every day to the point that real artists throw up their hands and walk away because there isn't enough room or desire for enduring quality anymore.

Even my own boys, which Mrs. Scrotato Head and I have devoted our lives to raising properly, roll their eyes in disbelief when I hit the scan button every time Ke$ha starts spewing her prosti-drunk-girl-pop on the radio which is every goddamn 15 minutes.

Seriously, that bag better be f*cking gone when I get home or the '00 Hyundai is going back and forth over the top of that waste of good pleather until I pop my load all over the dashboard ‘cuz I got wireless and Milfy Mcsatinglobes, I’m needing some right handed attention and I can only wait so long.

F*CK!
 

It can't be said enough,

Booobies!
 

To illustrate how odious the Ed Hardy Brand is, I did not see the boobies in the picture until reading the comments...My eyes were immediately drawn to the doucher-trucker hat with the Harddouche logo...It's terrifying...
 

Caruso - this is why you should not go to the gym. The signifiers of douchiness will always be found in the temples of douchiness. You are lucky you didn't find porch beef being readied for sacrifice on the altar of tarmal. (Or is it tarmal being readied for sacrifice on the altar of porch beef?)

BTW - Milfy McHott is the kind of gal who enters the room and the average IQ drops by 30 points... but only for the men.
 

Is anyone here still talking about boobs?
 

Look its Tattoo's offspring.....Only now its no longer "De plane, de plane". Junior got a new gig as the Jizz Mopper.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFK1rvL2NoQ&NR=1
 

The end is near.
 

Jon Gosselin thought squeezing out squeaky farts would impress globular hotts by making him seem down-to-earth.

However, she really hates the stench of him.
 

Boobs!
 

Jon Gosselin enjoys his weekends with The Twins.
 

Man, it looks like Tiger's having a hell of a time tryin' to take a dump. Maybe more fiber would help? I know, he should eat that fuccen hat and hopefully it will back him up forever. Blondie looks like she could give a shit less if he was there or not.
 

For a second here, I thought our infamous GRILLZ's grills had migrated to his cap and made a spectacle of themselves there.

How wrong I wuz. Hardy trumps even Trump when it comes to bad haircovering.

She, however, has made two spectacles of herself without even the use of lenses.
 

Um, yeah. This guy borders on stereotypical douche. He radiates the feces of many oxen. Yet it is all eclipsed by the boobies.
 

(Fake) boobs!
 

WOW Spiny Norman is clearly a fat dude. There is nothing wrong with being healthy, as long as you don't get obsessed and become a douche
 

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RE: Milfy McHott maye be the kind of female who upon entering a room, her egghead IQ drops by 30 points...while his dickhead rises by a mere 6 pointy inches, which he carefully signals in the bedposts douche handsignal.

Her megahhead boobies remain the same: plump and to the point.
 

"I bid you two..."
 

fake boobies?
WHO CARES!!
 

"Ed Hardy literature" is an oxymoron.

however, "hyperorgasmic boobies" is not.