Vin's song parodies, Mr. Scrotato Head's song parodies, Adolf Skroatler's videos, JCvD's tattoo pictures, and all of BCS's links.

Wait.

Forget the part about BCS.

I'm sure I missed heaps more.
 

Chick on the right is rockin' a FUPA almost as big as his tardhawk...
 

I am the prolific poster called Anonymous. I should get to be a moderator. I have contributed more to this site than anyone. I am the most regular reg.

Same with my friend Comment Deleted.
 

^How about your Dad, Conflicting Edits?
 

Samurai Scrote needs something special.

The mass douche spectrometer. I forgot who made it, but it was used to determine Crimson Ted's actual shade. May not be applicable, but it was hilarious...

P.S. In between the boobs is a strange place to keep used kleenex.
 

The anons should get their own page. Hell, they should get their own site.

I'll kick down the first five bucks.
 

I'm too new to the site to offer any advice or recommendations, so I'll just comment on the photo.

"Famous stars and straps?"

So... which one of these two bleeths wore the strap-on to sodomize the other while the woodpecker-haired popcorn fart flogged his dolphin in the corner?
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Boss, I must disqualify myself as a moderator because I have randomly visited about 200 sites now and posted "I peed in a horse once" (no, seriously, Google that phrase...) so I feel it would be hypocritical of me to filter out turtle-boy and ŁłÆmMÅhh types.
 

That reminds me...I peed in a horse once.
 

I think Troy made the M.D.S. But I could be wrong, because I have trouble remembering things that don't directly affect my dick, stomach or wallet.

Sorry.
 

Yes, he is a famous jock strap.

See? The 'bags were right with all that "Keep talkin' - 'ur' makin' me famous" bullshit.....and here we are.
 

I want to say it was Reader Mike who made the Crimsmometer?

multimedia links:
*JCVD's Garbage Pail Douchebags collection

*The Samurai Scrote thread

*Vin Douchal's douche anthems catalog

*Live showercam at Idaho Hott's house. Uh, I mean allowance for future uploads--I'm figuring out video editing myself and am hoping to make some fun HCwDB projects. Can I call a write-in for my DoucheBots?

RE: moderator job: What specifically does that entail? I'm more than happy to volunteer as I spend an inordinate amount of time online, as it's starting to interfere with my life. Do I get to flog anyone who acts up?


RE this photo: Britney Spears looks way too happy to be hanging on this pudwank. Famous Farts and Craps?
 

Heinous Arts and Crafts?
 

Suggestions? Well, DarkSock is going to need multiple accounts, for one.

I still like my old idea of drop down boxes to select monthly archives, the various Halls, etc. That would save page space along the left column and allow for extra features (or more ad space.....?) as need warrants.
 

Anus Darts and Crabs?
 

BangUs Hard and Fast?
 

Lame Ass 'Tards: Dey Raps
 

You can never forget this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhv6gipA3dc
 

Angus Tartan Craps?
 

DON:T FORGET "FLYTEETH'S FUCCEN CORNER OF TARMAL AND EARLTLY FUCCEN DELIGHTTS!"
 

As Right Bleeth's boobs moved farther and farther apart, she had to stuff a wad of surgical bandage under her bikini strap to staunch the bleeding from her torn skin.
 

Oh God, if only we could get that video BCS made of him drunk and fighting with is wife...bwaaaahahahahah
 

braxto.com
 

Don't have a separate pop up window for the comments. Have it be expand-o-matic on the same page.

And I'm not totally seasoned here, but if you're hurting for mods, I'll give it a shot.
 

Boss, I was laid of at the end of December and have/will be working from home for hopefully the rest of my life (fuck office bs) so if you need a moderator, you know where to find me.
SPKR
 

The bleeth on the right is sucking in her gut so hard she is sure to suffer from back spasms and the lesson learned from the tubby one on the left is to never stand in front of a flesh colored pleather chair when posing for a picture in a bikini because it makes your fatness appear even fatter. Also flat,fat chicks over 170 pounds should be banned from wearing bikinis, not be allowed to have the 1998-era hanging belly earring and never get torso tattoos.

Oh and the Mohawk douche is noteworthy.
 

Seamus farts and faps
 

The blonde's lower body goes off at such a weird angle I think she's a centaur. There is an entire horses body just out of the frame. I'm pretty sure the doucheicorn next to her is having a 24 degree tilt Yankee hat specially made to fit his tardhawk. Polkadots should know you never wear the brown knockoffs with black. And they bought the cheap clear ubiquitous cups. I'll let the rest of you mock the kleenex tits and famous stars and strapons.
 

Daily must see's in my favorite list that you could link:

- HockeyFights.com

- Barstool Sports.com - One of the moderators there was the producer of the Lesbian "Is She Really Going Out With Him"? episode and they are funny fuckers witness El Prez on Chat Roulette

El Prez on Chat Roullette

- The usuals like ebaumsworld and Tucker Max

- There was a site , I forgot the name, but it was called like the hot search.com or hottie search.com that had the tastiest morsels each day

- my iTunes location when I finally figure out how to use those commie pinkos
 

Inland Empire is to vegas pool as
A. Motocross is to douche
B. Jerz is to complete douche
C. bleeth is to orange county
D. herpes is to this guy.
 

Lameass 'tards need slaps

I'm sure I probably don't have enough time to moderate a message board. . .

but I'll always have time to mock douches and lust hotties.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Boss,
Thanks for the chance to weigh in. Clearly you've run your creative tank dry and have no where else to turn but us underlings.

So here's my suggestions:

* Although recent, Tuts my Barreh is a must have.

* Friday Haiku should have it's own section. Some of the best laughs ever.

* A douchetionary where phrases like Viking Yogurt Helmet, Porch Meat, and Jelly Dong can take their rightful place in the literary lexicon that is the Engrish language.

* Most memorable take down requests. The best, bitter, bitchy demands should never be forgotten.

* The 12 Days of Douchemas. That's right, I'm sucking my own dick. For all the traveling I do with my job I'm getting fairly good at it.

* Baghuntress Paper Doll Dress Up. Medusa in black rubber astride naughty school girl IdahoHott while Dicy scissors Ashfish in matching thigh highs and open nipple bras. VAG BLAM!

Sorry, gotta go service myself again.




Fetus Scars and Slaps
 

IF one were to pay attention to the links section at the lower left of the HCwDb blog they would have noticed
Lauren, College Humor's Hottest College Girl 2009
 

I can pitch in to help take the garbage out and the mocking in full flower. I've done it elsewhere and have time now. Anything to keep the bewbies flowin' and the fauxhawks growin'.

I defer to the long-time regs regarding stocking of the reading library.
 

let us not forget the Xenu thread & I second Crucials "any links BCS posted".... fucker burned me everytime
 

@Vin
I could not agree more on the Chat Roulette.
 

How about a "Quote of the Week" where the bagger with the most spit take inducing larf gets mention?

Pick three and we vote?
 

12 Days of Douchemas absolutely has to go on this page.
 

And Troy Tempest and Medusa's flames. If screed could induce douche to put gun to temple and pull trigger, none do it better or more consistently than theirs.
 

@DarkSock 3:53

Hahahahahahahaaaaaa!!! I Googled it. That shit is hilarious.
 

Damn DarkSock, you read alot of blogs. I was always impressed by the quality and quantity of your commentary here. But this... this... this is a whole new level of awesomeness heretofore unseen.

Bravo comrade!
 

^^ I googled it too, only to find Darksock and Capt. Bringdown peeing in a horse together! I f*cking love it!!!

Kudos to those who pee in horses out there on the interwebs.
 

@Bagnonymous,

I saw those comments too. I found it funny that Capt. and him posted right after each oth... hey... waitadamnminute.

They ARE two different people riiiiight??

Or, are we all just living in the DarkSock matrix.

I really need to visit the stash in the garage. Brb...
 

@Dark Sock
That made my fucking night
 

no love for ol' Vinny Scumbaglia?

--VS
 

jimmymanners 4:49PM




Excellent observation, sir.
 

@Vinny S.,

Your song will definitely be in. You been around this site longer than Methuselah and your commentary is funny as hell. I even got your song on my Ipod.

I know we're missing some other gems. The Hot Chicks with Peeps exhibit comes to mind.
 

The BCS-Samurai Scrote-David Bowie track was awesome
 

The 4 jerzey douches driving in the car with the "babyblue - 2 weeks - I come to see you - babyblue" is a classic. That one should be on the splash page.

-crazy-sexy-douche
 

I will not be able to help as a moderator. I can barely cut time out to post as much as I do.

@Mr Scrotatohead - thank you for your compliments, very kind of you.

@Wedgie - what's an M.D.S.?

Medusa's
Diaphragm
Selection?

I'm tired and not clear on a lot of things right now.

I think there should be some kind of direct link to the Samurai Scrote saga.

I would also support a FLYTHTEETHE COERNER OF TARMAL!!!! Assuming Mr F can keep such a thing rolling and it directly comments on affairs at hand.

Frankly, I think BBS's are more of a pain i nthe arse than they are worth. They attract spam, and require constant attention. I, for one, never participate in them.

I would build a Hall of Bleeth. We've got the douchie thing going, and the Hall of Hott, but the Bleeths have no home of their own, poor old skanks.

more later.
 

Also, I would not be quite so accomodating on takedown requests.

Fuck these idiots.
 

@Troy
I understand the policy, but I wish it had a 24 hour delay because I always forget the scrote before it's gone. It's a good thing in some ways, but I like to put the face with 3rd grade grammar.
 

Not being a "reg" here, and, heck, not even crushing pussy on the "reg", I feel I have little to offer.

I will, however, agree with Mr. Troy on one thing, and that is my disgust with BBS. The CA Board of Behavioral Sciences has been haunting me for over 34 years...making me change my underwear, and constantly removing me from my mother's basement, where I often sit alone, slumped over in a chair in the dark, my semi limp meat compass in my hand...quietly sobbing. Like there's something terribly wrong with that.

Damn you BBS.

I did, however, once pee in my service provider.


Who is a horse.





Or at least that's how she looked to me after 8 Red Bulls and a handful of Mexican Hairy Taco Weed.

A brief moral victory.
S
 

I volunteer as board mod.
 

I would be honored to help moderate. I'll shoot you an e-mail.
 

Do mods get the keys to the executive washroom? Or would I still have to buy something off the dollar menu just so I can take a shit?
 

I wish to thank you all for another delightful thread, and no DB1, I have no idea how to moderate this wonderful exchange!

Faithfully yours,

moi
 

Dude, Darksock, you've peed in an aweful lot of horses.

Might be time to get tested.

Just sayin'.
 

I volunteer as a Mod...NO, a Rocker...NO, a Mod.



Crap, now I've dated myself.

That would explain the Andouille sausage in my rectum.

Good times...
S
 

If DarkSock peed in a lot of horses, then FLYTEETH must have been there bitin' right along with the horseflies.

Myself, I once peed ON a horse while riding English saddle just before it threw me off when it suddenly took off in a full gallop, back in my Kansas salad days at the tender age of 14. Me, not the horse.

I've been pissin' and moanin' ever since.
 

Oh, on the subject at hand: I love how Blondie's visible arm is a reverse POPEYE, a chicken leg with a plump thigh and slender drumstick, when it should be a Buffalo wing. It makes the skanky part from the waist down more forgiveable.

Brunette's rib cage competes with her boob cage. Such a widening failure of a wonder-bra is wunderbar!, her diaphragm like a brood-patch, not to mention those feathers she has instead of hair, although I am not quite sure which exotic poultry she had in mind while styling herself.

As for Famous,he can only be likened to an anemic rooster with that gray cockscomb, a veritable cock-a-doodle-don't.

In the nom-de-plumefeather of a former semi-regular here, they are "scrotisserie chickens."
 

Keep the HoS boss. It would be a huge shame to lose Douche deities like Glinty, Fish Slap, Bra!! and E-Blo.

Fuck Fish Slap! And fuck Fung!

Good times. Good times.
 

@darksock,




while currently googling "i peed in a horse once" stands as a map to your internet awareness/interests, and i would hesitate to mess with such a post modern crumbtrail, and i won't if you request to keep it as such, or if this is part of a personal digital visionquest us mere mortals are inadequate to comprehend, however, if you want someone to further spread the "i peed in a horse once" confessional like a paranoid political screed, i am willing to sign on as a contributor to the growth of your meme.
 

Let's not forget Nub.
 

I was hoping for some "seasonal douche" such as the summer boat-douche, and quite apropos at this winter juncture, "23-ski-douche," which I only mention because the Olympics breeds awareness.

Sort of a visual Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" of Douche is what I have in mind. Music accompaniment would be a real added feature, although we do specialize in the written word to mock that which we SEE.

The sound effects of Vin Douchal bring back fond memories of the Donk, for instance. And minus the most primitive sense of smell to remind us all of douche-poo, the music would he the best added touch of all.

Carry on, DB1, carry on.
 

A Hall of Boobies?
 

And I wanna 69 with every lady in the Hall of Hott.
 

Some kind of Wheezer-inspired douche recall flash game that will help us (that can't do so innately) to remember douches/hotts that make more than one appearance on the site.

Maybe Stackhouse could be invited to moderate a forum? He could hand down life lessons, weight-lifting pointers and turkey recipes. His residency here seems to have ended, but maybe a revolving door of special guest douchebags could have a forum where one can "ask a douchebag."

I don't know, I'm just spitballing here. If the mod job isn't too demanding, I volunteer. I spend much of my work day surfing and everyone there already knows how much time I spend on HCwDB, so it's no skin off my sack.
 

that reminds me, i remember terribly little about HCwDB's fan art.
 

also, i peed in a -

for once, i refuse to be that predictable.
 

OK - This photo makes me want to bazooka barf. Snot rag or no snot rag, I'd get busy w/ the hott on da right. The choad is most dishonorable uberdouche. What were we talking about? Um, boobies!
 

A Whack-a-Douche game.
 

My thoughts? I assumed that was obvious:

BOOBIES!
 

My thoughts? I assumed that was obvious:

BOOBIES!
 

Have the site be mobile device friendly.
 

this must be darksock's favorite comic

how 'bout a section that links to all legal actions taken against this site. This way, the next clown that threatens us hatters with swift legal action can have a nice point of reference to begin with- and Donkey Douche's legal trevails could be linked in as well.

yea, you're right, too much work for DB1...
 

More boobies!
 

Maybe an "Employee of the Month" award to the best 'baghunter/haikuer/linker/mockster of the month?

Yeah, and more ass pear.
 

I recomend a weekly crochet symposium, recipe exchange and frank and open discussions regarding groin-shaving techniques.

Just a thought.
 

How 'bout an instructional photo gallery, displaying to Anonymous flamers the various ways in which they can go and f*ck themselves?

There could even be a library of jelly dongs and alpaca siemen [sic.] available for loan, in case they cannot furnish such necessities for themselves.
 

Allow multiple accounts.

Create an app for iPhone

No mod bull.

A rate the hotts page.
 

@ euripidouche:

There can never be enough Human-Equine intermicturation discourse, especially grenaded into pompous blogs and tiresome political debate sites; proceed by all means.

@ Jonezy:

You would be right; C&H = awesome.
 

Might not we have a monthly ass pear vote as well taken from each weeks Friday ass pears?

Ass Pearious
 

El Canganer had an interesting idea - but more interesting ina generalised sense - hott rating, but also apply it to douchebags, only inverse.

so, a picture has a DB and a hott.

There could be two ratings for it, one for the DB

1 = wannabe poseur
5 = Standard issue sack of crap - induces nausea, but no urge to kill.
10 = the unholy spawn of Gator and Xenu re-animated by Samurai Scrote and blessed with a mantra written by Stackhouse and Kade, and baptised in the surf at Asbury Park, and so evil that earth itself must be destroyed to rid the universe of it before it infects other planets.

And for the hotts:

1 = nott / skanktastic / eeeew! / STD central / burn victim or crack ho.
5 = Very fine - lovely girl. Maybe not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but means well.
10 = Mother of All Wholesome Hotts, so hott, she collapses the universe into a lower vacuum state of pure bliss.

And then an averaging. From there we can compare the voting (which should continue) against the ratings and get some metrics as to what we need to sharpen our analysis of the Greico infestation, and perhaps get a better understanding of what we're facing.

Also, it needs to be at least a 10 point system, as a tip o' the hat to Kade for the hotts (and by tip of the hat, I mean a giant FUCK YOU ASSHOLE) and so as to adequately differentiate 'tween the bags.

So, some dopey bagling gets a 2, but Stackhouse gets a 9. Some frightening bleached out skank ho gets a 2, Halo Angel gets a 9.
 

@ Darksock

Render me truly impressed by the intermicturation trail left by you on the interwebz. I haven't had a good laugh like that in years. Well played sir, well played.

There should be a counter of the "Number of interwebz sites that Darsock has posted ""I peed in a horse once" on the new site.
 

two words (ok one):

hola hola
 

Ohhh, how about a search function? 'Cause we can't all have the lightning recall of Wheezer. I've wasted countless hours trying to search past offenders, not even remembering the year, much less their effin' names...so maybe if there was some kind of tag system on the photos, you know, "fauxhauk, URC, Ed Hardy, Trash-can worthy"...whatever common search words and descriptors we might use?


Are we getting out of hand and asking for too much? 'Cause if we are, please tell us.
 

This seems targeted at the regs, and I can't claim that status yet, but I'll humbly suggest the following:

* An area to acknowledge your best bag hunters, i.e. those who've sent in the most pictures that have passed your sniff test and made it onto the site
* You must have some instances where pictures were close but you didn't post them, maybe a '2nd chance' area where peeps could vote in an honorary douchebag
* Be careful with the message board idea, if it makes it more difficult to post than the current comments area, some people will give up on posting; also, it may lessen interaction/contribution if there are two areas to post, i.e. both comments and a discussion area (I've seen that happen)

I understand your frustration with the blogger software; I switched to Wordpress, which while being more complicated, also had more flexibility. Best of luck with the changeover . . . VVD
 

ululululululululululul...











I keeeel you!










SILENCE!
 

I like V.V.D's "scratch and dent" section idea above for the "missed it by this much" also-rans.

It'd give us O.C.D. types something to do between regular posts.
 

Dicksnort.
 

How about a section for the Hatters of the Week. Best comments win.
 

Is the mod job open only to reg. posters? I'm a long-time reader and some-time poster, also a mod over on a Toronto Maple Leafs board (Leafscentral). More than willing to help out my fav. website if needed. Any q's, you can find my contact details on my Leafscentral profile under the same name I use to post here.
 

@ Achmed

You're not funny. Neither is the guy with his hand up your ass.
 

Although I have never posted here, I am a regular follower.

If you've got the manpower and the budget, I would love to have a database of douche species that could be quickly referenced or posted in other sites. Or an illustrated Wiki of Douche.

This blog is so educational, it should be treated with the same dignity as the Oxford elites.