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Douche McBlackHat tried to make kissy lips and ended up having a stroke....


God..... Is that you?
 

I spot nipple. On two of them unfortunately....
 

Nothing says sexy like a fat hairy white guy with a Coach baseball hat.

So next time you're about to head to the club, check out yourself in the mirror. If the handsome bastard staring back at you is chubby, caucasian, and wearing a Haines white t-shirt, you better spruce your shit up with an overpriced designer dome piece.
 

"That is the biggest clit I have ever felt" thought Dale as he reached between Marsha's legs. Simultaneously, Wade was overcome by Marsha's vaginal dexterity.
 

I believe the original intent was for Marcia and the douche in the sheer black whatever-the-fuck-you call-it, to pose for a pic, as a momento to a wonderful evening. Then Duke, sitting drunk at the end of the bar, and being the wacky guy that he is, decided to interject himself, uninvited.
 

Marsha Marsha Marsha Yumminess personified Thank you DB1 for such Lusciousness The smile is FANTASTIC, the O mouth would be heaven
 

Let's face it, unless he forks over hard cash, acting like a clown is the only way Plumber's Assistant Joe here can touch women that don't ride the fat-cart while shopping at Walmart.

And to Jon Stewart's evil twin; It's not what you do to yourself that worries us, but it'll kill your mother if you bring that shiksa home for Thanksgiving again.
 

Jeebus, I can't even concentrate on the Hott what with Blight of the Dumblebee and the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Douche humping all over her. This, my friends, is what blowguns were invented for.
 

Peter Crouch that that he would take out his lovely wife for an evening of dinner and dancing at a nice West London pub. Much to his dismay Wayne Rooney showed up and showed them his latest goal celebration dance.
 

Damn! not "that that" but thought that. Coffee is wearing off.
 

The douche on the left wearing the sheer black Elvira negligee with the faux hawk seems to have that oops I crapped my pleather pants look.
 

And who has the U.S. Track Championships playing in a bar?

That's aweful, that's down right unamerican.

This summer I visited some family in Toledo Ohio, not exactly your action packed vacation. But at least the people had the god given dignity to play porn at one of the bars I we visited. Booze + Porn + Large Midwestern Women = Bad Decisions.

God bless you Ohio. And god bless boobies too.

Yes, we mustn't forget the boobies.
 

The one drawback to the kidney transplant that Marsha received was that it had to remain inside of the donor, Hank.
 

Bubba HuffNugget, world champion flatulence aficionado, paused to savor the bouquet of Karen's cabbage and boiled egg meal from lunch.
 

talk about Krusty Krab...
 

Blattsky realized too late that after sixteen whiskey sours one shouldn't tighten his hat band prior to passing out during a photo pose
 

@ Darksock 5:36

Foul.



Hilarious.



But foul none the less.
 

I would make Marsha smile even wider by eating her pussy.
 

Marsha showed the "Shroud Of Blattsky" on the back of her dress to her girlies the next day....

... when she finished projectile vomiting.
 

early lock for nicest smile?
 

this is the EX@KT $AME GURL as in the photo below.

THAT iz why we all need decals of titties to place upon our chests.

y0u dumbe assez
 

Ever the good Samaritan, Cindy threw herself in the middle to break up the gay swordfight, which actually sounded like light applause from the bar.
 

rated as the worst dp of all time barring that incident at the kennedy compound.
 

Gunther and Mickey were sword fighting between Marsha's knees. She thought they were naked mole rats.

And yeah, that's a Kim Possible reference, cuz I roll like that.
 

Don't dis Motorhead.
 

LOOK IM SETTING YOU PASTE EATERS STRAIGHT. I'm the MAN in the picture and before you talk crap understand THIS: I am a Hollywood agented impersonator AUTHORIZED BY CALIFORNIA LAW to emulate Michael Chiklis AKA the STAR of a claimed show THE SHIELD + ooooo that 2 little movies called THE FANTASTIC FOUR! Yeah FLAME ON FEEL THE FUCKING BURN you NOTHINGS

I have made several local car dealer ads including SADAAM OBAMA's KKash for KKLUNKERz (aka we'll give our childrens future for your old Daewoo POS...I'm ben GRIMM dammit)

SO HELP ME I WILL GET MY SIZE 13 UP SOME NARROW ASS IF U EACH FAIL TO RECANT IN CONTRITION

BB For nuts bunch MF's. I'M A WORKING MAN OUT IN THE HOT ASS REAL WORLD YOU ALL sit ang GIGGLE IN YER MOMMAS AIR CONDITIONING WHILE REAL HEROUS LIKE ME PUT ON THE ORANGE HERO SUIT TO PAY YOUR DEM'S EVIL DEATH PANEL BILLS

TIMES GONNA COME FOLKS...laugh now OOOOOOOH YEEEAG LAUGH IT UP

U CAM
 

Marsha makes me want to make over-zealous love to a Daewoo muffler...

...named Lillie.
 

... and no, I don't work part time as a troll. My job at the In N' Out drive-thru takes up most of my free time.
 

Just back from a nice little open mic night in a little gem of a pub in one of the few upscale areas of the I.E.

Local writers, singers, guitar teachers etc and I perform original material and ask for critiques from each other afterwards. Good guys, talented guys...

I had the line of the night.

Some vagabond with a beat up Hohner acoustic and harmonica went up on stage and did some serious blues , but , he was as disheveled as they come. He had a ratty knit cap, a filthy black Members Only jacket circa '83 , a three day beard and very poor hygiene.

In the middle of his harp solo I leaned over to the cute gal that sang before him and said, " I bet that harmonica smells like a colostomy bag".
 

@ Anon 10:12 PM,

let me be the first Republican supporter to say that i have a cutoff saw spinning at 5000 revolutions per minute and i'm ready to give you all the "help" you want if you would just give the word.

alternatively, the NRA can always fill your lungs with lead and call it a day.
 

@Anon 10:12 PM

While we're making up words...

Thanks. You are a fwoplick meatspooge.

Loosely translated to 'idiot' in any language.
 

Did the douche on the left quilt his new vest from his leftover stockings?

And do you guys think he bought or scavenged the pigeon poop he used to sculpt his hair?

The answers to these questions eludes me.

Anyone?
 

Sounds like Anon at 10:12PM needs some more fiber in his diet. I suggest Metamucil.
 

Thoughts running through Marsha's head.

"Smile, dammit."

"I'm paid to pose! I'm PAID to pose! PAID!"

"Good thing there's a shower next to the kitchen."

"Insurance pays for a tetanus shot, right? RIGHT??"

"Seven years of community college down the tubes!"
 

She's like a Lucky Pierre!
 

I hate to demonize him but, the dude in white has demon eyes.
 

the juxtaposition of gorilla arm and perfectly tanned, silky smooth hott skin is hurl-inducing
 

Where have we seen this chick before?
 

Is someone playing "EXCITEBIKE" back there?

~Justin
 

After two weeks of baboon analingus (and prior to the seizure) Fudgie McStool briefly regrets catching a whiff of his own breath.
 

Immediately nauseous, Lance thrust his mimosa back over the bar after noticing the strawberry was moldy
 

Fudgie was hypnotised by the gnat hovering between his eyes.
 

The guy on the left reminds me of a student that I had last year in one of my classes. He came up to me, really proud that he was able to build a circuit that simulated the rolling of a six-sided die and get a "random" number. He wanted to demonstrate it for me because he had a hard time making it (I thought/knew he was a dumbass but I humor them now and again). He found the 9V batteries he had to power it but he didn't know if it was still good.

Him: I don't know if my battery is any good.

Me: Don't you know how to test to see if a battery is still good?

Him: No.

Several classmates in the room: PUT IT ON YOUR TONGUE!!! PUT IT ON YOUR TONGUE!!

So he puts it on his tongue and shocks himself.

We all fall over laughing uncontrollably.

Sometime during the middle of class he knocks the battery off of his desk. So I stop class.

Me: You better check that battery again. You might have knocked all the charge out of it. (Not expecting he would fall for it again)

Him: Really? I guess I'd better check it.

I lose total control of the class for the next 5 minutes as everybody in the room but him is laugh uncontrollably. Oddly that day we were talking about electrochemistry.

So my point: Dicklicker McGee has the same face as the kid who played battery tester that day. Same eye roll and everything.
 

I'd say that anyone running a marathon in Maryland deserves tasty,layered crab cakes at the finish line, complete with Tartt-er sauce.

But never with douche sauce.
 

...bet they [blog groupies] are all fags with small crotch equipment
 

The Doc has pegged the name: DickLicker McGee. But why is Marsha so happy to be with DL? Everything about her is perky, tanned, and delicious. So WHY, GOD, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?
 

So if Ryan Seacrest (yes, I authored the definition) was hetero and Larry the Cable Guy was 20 years younger, this poor, poor piece would be getting violated non-stop?

Oh, the shame.
 

ha ha damn I actually have that black sweater! And for that guys sake, it only actually looks see-through because of the camera flash.