Guyliner Gary and Barbie Cara
FTW
 

Weak week again. Damn Db1. I'll go with Huck, it's just something wrong with that boy.
 

HUCKY FTW!

~Justin
 

Guyliner Gary FTW!
 

No Contest. Mack. The. Nozzle.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Mack the Nozzle FTW!

I cannot imagine how this lizard ever got within striking distance of an angel and her enchanting p*y. Let Wednesday come so we can put this image far behind us.
 

Hucky Sheen looks like the Vulcan mind meld product of Tommy Lee and Lance Bass, but it is also well known that he is a hired gun, a pro douche if you will. Therefore, I am skeptical that his show might be an act.

As with Sheen, Mack the Nozzle is a cage fighter, aka an uneducated fightin's choad. As atrocious as he is, he did not have the yams to pull out much of a run as Archie McScrote, so I am not apt to vote for him under a different guise. Francine's is dreamy though in that Marcia Brady sort of way.

I would fire dance on broken glass nude while husky samoans throw curved spears at my genitals as dyslexic tree elves sang "Play That Funky Music" in the background just so I could be the person who ads the red dye to her dress.

Finally, Guyliner Gary... What can I say that has not been said? While his lady friend resembles Wilford Brimley's pal Tweek from The Battle for Endor, he is the epitomy of douche. He is so concerned with an image that he has to ration his girl's eyeliner in order to stand out from the crowd and cover up the fact that he can barely utter words that have more than one syllable usually relying on grunts and "dude".

I hate Guyliner Gary with the hatred of a thousand wombats during feeding season.

Gary gets my vote.
 

I have to go with Mack the Nozzle since he's spent his royalties as an elf extra in Lord of the Rings so poorly.
 

I have used each picture to the benefit of my health and I can safely say that I have extremely clean and healthy bowels now.
When it comes down to the wire, Hucky's tattoo of his favourite t-shirt graphic on his chest makes my sphincter want to spit out all of my internal organs.
Therefore, I am voting for him.

Hucky Sheen FTW.
 

ftw? The Shiny Sheeny Huckster gets my vote - If only for his inadvertent Malicious Classical Literary Offensiveness... (What's with those freakin' pants!?!?!)

Scroetic Justice would surely be served if ole Huck Finn and Jim had a chance to quietly drown him in the darkness, with no remorse in their otherwise compassionate hearts. Preferably by repeatedly deep-water-boarding this skanky poseur from the back of their Jersey Rigged Mississippi Raft...

Hott? - The Candy is clearly sweet, juicy and delicious enough to complete the pic (Even if thinking so may cause some of us to experience moral and legal problems...)

Sproing Side Note - Rampant Testosterone Production Spiked due to Francine's devastatingly seductive HOTT-itude. Ahhh, yummy.
 

Mack the Nozzle FTW. This unholy coupling of douchiest douche and hottest hott makes me mourn the death of civilization and all that we have lost as a species.
 

Hucky FTW. The earlier pic of him getting licked and inducing my gag reflex gets him in, but the fact that he is wearing capri pants to show off his 89 cent blue light special K-mart tube socks gets him the win.
 

I can't vote for #1 or #3 because of the VH-1 reality show associations. DB1 has argued that they should not be disqualified because their "celebrity" is not real, but I must respectfully disagree. I ask, what does "celebrity" really mean in this day and age? Does it imply any kind of talent or skill? No, it does not. To me, it just means someone who has some amount of name/face recognition. The threshold amount of recognition is hard to qualify, but the sad fact is that a lot of people become "famous" for not much more than what these choads have, while actually talented people languish in relative obscurity.

I'll be honest, though: I have no idea where I'm going with this. One of my coworkers is being an idiot and it's sucking all my brain power away. Screw it. I vote for Guyliner Gary and Crazy Cara. She might kill my pets, but I wouldn't mind being the target of the badonkadonk she's showing off in the lapdance pic.
 

Gary because Mack seems true to himself which though more douchie is also less douchie. Mack is douchiness gone wild (or wildness gone douchie) - the noble savage of the douche jungle. Gary is a weak weekend wannabe douchebag who is riding the doucherails that Fishslap, Wheatstalks and the Ab Lobster worked so hard to lay down to the land of inexplicably moronic hotts. Gary ftw (l).

Maurice Sendouche
 

I'm voting for guyliner. Any man that would paint his eyes like an Egyptian man whore just to taste some bleeth herpes deserves a kick in the balls and a weekly.

The other two turds already revel in their douchiness by appearing on shitty reality shows so have coronated themselves uber-douche. Much like Napolean as he took the crown from the pope and placed it on his own head.
 

Mack The Nozzle wasn't given justice as Archie McScrote. That pic was just eh. Look at the new evidence. Francine is otherworldly hot. She does not exist in this realm. I would bang my own father just to wink at her in a creepy stalker-esque fashion.

The Nozzle has facial tattoos around his eye! That surely trumps guyliner. Permanent marks of douchery upon the visage= Hall of Scrote. Fight or Die tatted on the neck= Weekly AND Monthly winner.
Mack and Francine= Contender for the yearly.

Hucky Sheen as the runner up.
 

Mack is the biggest bag of the week.

Francine is the hottest hott of the week.

Why is this even a discussion?

Mack/Francine FTW
 

Hucky Sheen FTW, by far. There is an air of metrosexual faux punk about him that makes me want to punch myself in the crotch.
 

No vote for 1 or 3 because they're both from Daisy with Love.

#2 gets my vote
 

Mack the Nozzle FTW because every night since I first gazed upon the mind blowing comeliness that is Francine, Mrs. Scrotato Head has asked in bewilderment, "What's wrong honey? Why are you crying?" I just squeeze my pillow tighter, muffle my sobs of despair, and turn away.
 

Francine is sweetness and purity. She may be just little naughty at times, but there's no way to justify this.
Mack is fecal matter personified. Bad tatoo choices aside, Mack brings the added feature of an infectious bacteria eating away his tongue. Even after treatments with Lysol and Clorox, followed by a thirty minute session with a belt sander, I wouldn't let him use my cell phone.
Why Francine, why?
Fight or Die? I'm pulling for the latter.
Hit the road Mack, and don't 'ya come back no more.
(Except possibly in the monthly.)
 

Mack and Francine, two American kids growing up in the heartland. Mackys gonna a be a licking douchebag, Francine needs saved from Mackies grasp

Smelling like poo, outside the tasty freeze, Francine forced to sit on Macks lap, he's got his tongue on her cheek.

Mack for the loss. Francine for the win. Life goes on.

Dr. DB
 

All 3 of these turd stains bring out a rage in me.
But Huckey has some quality of stench that appears to hang in the ozone while he fluffs and dries his manpri's and Dollar Store tube socks.
Yes he sucks.
Hucky must die then win.
 

Mack FTW - his tat gives us the best option "____ or Die."

Yes Mack - please die.
 

francine probably smells as good as she looks. unless she is near mack. then she smells like regret.

Hucky and Gary FTL. Douche or Die by a neck FTW
 

Hucky Sheen.I just hope his skin condition is not contagious.
 

Mack the Nozzle & Francine FTW.

I would bet the family farm that she smells like roses and rainbows.
Nozzle, however, probably smells like a mixture of valtrex, petroleum jelly and rejection.
 

Gary Guyliner shows us what would have happened if Ellen Degeneres had fronted a crappy 80's synth band rather than dreaming of carving a comfortable little talk show home out of one of Oprah's uterine abscesses. And starting a chin club. But not weekly strength.

Mack the Nozzle brings the strength, as in overpowering stench of Axe and smegma, mixed with a dash of unwashed ass. The fact that Francine can smile through the shimmering nasal assault that even Mack himself can't abide points out her one glaring flaw: no olfactory sense whatsoever. Actually, for what I want to do to her, that may be a plus. They come close, and would have won my vote, if it weren't for the final contender.

Hucky Sheen. This picture couldn't possibly go more wrong, even if a diarrhetic dog with a case of mange and a gimp leg dragged it's cankered ass over the carpet behind them, paused mid-scootch, and vomited on his shoes. Hucky brings all the mental firepower of Rainman running on a single hemisphere and the physique of a malnourished bandicoot crossed with a gender-confused parrot with an advanced case of psoriasis. And still Candy deigns to smush her delectable breasts against the vile hollowness of his sunken chest. The injustice makes me want to reach into the picture and pull his kidneys out from behind.

One angry vote for Hucky.
 

Hucky FTW: He's wearing capri-pants, which are appropriate apparel only on future MILFs, like the luscious Candy.
 

ITS A MACK ATTACK! THE BIG MAC HAS NOTHING ON HIM! RONALD MCDONALD EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
 

Hucky. He's trying so hard he's probably got a hernia at this point.
 

oooh, badda bing boobs...

i'd like to see you and A. La Plante slide all over each other covered in baby oil.

there's an old colloquialism here in the north of england, Bonk-On.





i have a Bonk-On.
 

While I was first going to vote for Mack the Nozzle I took a good hard look at Hucky and my decision to vote for him was reinforced by the second picture ( I swear he looks like one of those ass-clowns from Daisy of Love )

Hucky FTW
 

Mack the Nozzle and Francine get my vote this week. He reminds me of what Spencer Pratt will look like when he inevitably goes to jail for some sort of sexual misconduct charge.
 

Mack the Nozzles chick is clearly the hottest but I think Hucky Sheen is more douche then Mack, if that is possible. Guyliner Gary is clearly scrote scum but not on the level of Mack and Hucky. Two pieces of garbage and only one vote......Hucky Sheen FTW.
 

Nozzle.

And FUCK HIM, btw.
 

Guyliner Gary FTW.

Because swigging red bull-vodkas while mugging a taught blonde bleeth in no way hides the utterly failed attempt to prove one's masculinity through the application of feminine make-up products. He is poo in the most obnoxiously insecure way.

And you know what they say, "Applying eyeliner to a piece of bison excrement doesn't make it a lady, it just makes it a really faggy turd."
 

Francine is just lovely. Really. Adorable and sweet, it is tragically obvious that she was raised by a bad father, as there is no other possible cause of a wonderful slice of heaven like her taking up with a subhuman louse like "Mack the Nozzle".

As for "Mack the Nozzle", I'd like to offer to help him tattoo his neck some more. I'll be using a railroad spike, hammer, and coal tar; gotta make sure whatever fucktarded thing he wants tatted on there lasts, you know. Can't be too careful.
 

While Guyliner's girl Cara is absolutely smokin' hott, he's just an effemidouche. Mostly harmless.

Hucky is a lowlife cartoon character. Mostly invisible unless he's at a skate park.

Not the strongest panel of baglings.

So, what are we left with:

Oh the douche has, has blue tongue, babe...
And his tatt says, "Fight or dieeee."

Mack the Nozzle for the win.
 

Guyliner Gary wins. For one reason and one reason only: GUYLINER! What in the holy hell is he thinking? The only men who can pull guyliner off are rock stars. And even then those twats only get a pass because of their status. What status does this Rick Schroeder looking bastard have? None! Oh yeah, and Barbie Cara is 100% trampy whore. I may be in love.
 

Mack and Francine. They... I... fuck it.
 

They all suck.
But Mack the Nozzle should win this week. If for no other reason than his weak-ass neck tattoo.
 

Guyliner Gary.
 

Sorry, rockstars can't pull off guyliner either, unless your name is Alice Cooper you're a homo.
 

I vote Francine for HoH. As long as there's another photo so we don't have to look at the steaming pile of crap, Mack the Niz-Noz

Hucky looks like Medusa and Jean Claude v Douche got ahold of Pauley Shore and gave him a "Douche Makeover" to make him actually appear the way we perceive him.

Not happy about it, but Guyliner Gary and Barbie Cara FTW.

Why? Because I'd like punch the both of them and take my chances at having a tough queer named, Bubba, as my cellmate during the inevitable stretch in the joint that would follow.
 

It is my professional opinion that Mack The Nozzle is the biggest douchebag this week.

Francine is a lovely specimen.
 

I will disagree with the vh1 argument for disqualification and vote Nozzle ftw. His face/neck tatt combo alone grants him access to elite scrote status and his wholesome hot so close to blue tongued contamination makes me want to submerge myself in carbon freeze.

In conclusion yes the vh1/scrote agreement of 2007 has brought the likes of Nozzle and Hucky closer to the public eye but....celebrity they are not.
This new strain of realidouche deserves it's place in the weekly, but more importantly deserves our strict attention and cataloging.

They must be marked!

They must be mocked!
 

Mack and Francince FTW

army of douche-ness
 

Jesus, I think this Weekly just gave me AIDS. Fuck you DB1, fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

Anyhow to the voting:

Guyliner Gary is no Robert Smith. He's not even Bill Smith, or Joseph Smith, or that guy who sets up the cardboard box and PA system to give impassioned sermons to nobody behind my local Arby's. He's just another fake rockstar asshat who's got the skull and crossbones scarf because other asshats in his neighborhood have jumped on the bandwagon and Gary's gotta be in on the action.

Which brings me to a certain realization. I used to like skulls and tigers and weird swirly shit that looks like it came right out of the Voynich Manuscript, but Ed Hardy and the cunt hordes that purchase their personalities in a convenient prepackaged format have ruined them for me. So fuck you, all of you. You fucking mindless sheep.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, and Cara, whose life's ambition seems to be a stripper just long enough to find herself some bozo with a platinum card, fuck her too.

Do I sound bitter here? I think I sound bitter. Oh well. It happens. Guyliner Gary and Barbie Cara are in third place this week, as rank as they are, their picture doesn't make me feel like I need a tetanus shot.

Now Hucky Sheen, we have a chance at getting syphilis with this cat. Just being in the same room with him, I think you'll catch the lip herp. Jeebus save us, but I see sentient skeeze, reading my thoughts and coming through my monitor to destroy my mind.

Candy is bouncy goodness but there's a hardness around her eyes that tells me this relationship won't end well. And that hooked, boneless forefinger doesn't sit right with me. The Great Old Ones awoke and took on the form of a Buckcherry ballad. We are all of us royally fucked.

Which brings us to our winner and prize pig, Mack the fucking Nozzle. Now, generally, I find people like the Enigma, or that guy who turned himself into a lizard, or that other dude that turned himself into a tiger, they at least have a sense of creativity about them. Sure, they're mad, but there's a method to their madness, they have a direction. Sideshow freak is a perfectly respectable profession. They outwardly manifest our sense of wonder with the world. I mean, say what you want about Carnies, but you hang out with them, you have a good fucking time. This bozo does none of that. He inks some arbitrary slogan on the front of his neck, the Chinese symbol for "gall bladder" on the side, he gets an eye tattoo inspired by My Little Pony, there's just one spastic grab for meaning after another, in the vague hopes that something will stick and someone will catch what he's throwing.

Only he's not throwing anything. He's just a golem of disjointed cultural mishmash, an intellectual dead end. He also reminds me of Keith Flynt, in that I'd like to beat both of them with a crowbar.

Francine is just your garden variety smiley blond beauty queen. She's dead behind the eyes. Honestly, it's getting to the point where I can't tell some of these Bleeths apart.

So that's the winner, Mack. I don't know what you're supposed to be, but odds are, you don't either.

Thank you and good night.
 

Mack FTW. Dye job, earring blinging, chin pubes, and bogus multi-culti tats (with matching tongue[ing] at/of Hayden Panettiere look-alike) = HCwDB of the Week.
 

Alright first, I gotta give Ryan O'Reilly a pass. I mean, just having to take care of Cyril all those times and having breast cancer are just a couple of reasons for him to be allowed to douche it up once he gets out. I would like to see him bangin' Dr. Nathan though. I'd buy tickets to that.

Second, everyone knows Simon Le Bon is gay, why wouldn't his twin son be?

However,

Scott Weiland's spawn appears to be headed right down the path his daddy took. Circling the bowl, so to speak. If I had pubic hair likr that on my fucking chin I might just let someone doodle on me too. And the chick is smokin hot.

3- FTW
 

I just came back from a weekend in Orange County. There were plenty of Hucky's walking around down there.

Hucky FTW.
 

mack! mack! mack!
 

Nozzle FTW. Reasons, thus;

- Guyliner is a minor DB who just miscountrued what "fashion" meant..... And has a heavy-metal band logo for a fringe.

- Despite his greasy aura, Sheen is too small to be a player/threat.

- Nozzle wins for shear 'tude alone.

NOZZLE.
 

The Nozzle. I want to skin his face of those rotten tattoos and wear them on my face(Buffalo Bill style..Oh wait is she a great big fat person?) so I can taste the deliciousness that is Francine. Mmmmm with the muchness.
 

You can make a large bet, that nozzle's a clown.
 

Mack the Nozz cause his hott reminds me of Hayden Panettiere whom I love.
 

Hucky Sheen. He makes me feel so tired and so sad.
 

Nozzle and his death tongue need to be buried, so Hucky Sheen gets my vote. Dang, that's a funny one, DB1!
 

Mack the Nozzle.

Francine, God wanted so much more for you.
 

HUCKY SHEEN FTW!
 

Because his kanji actually means "Biohazardus Choadwreck who reeks of poo, keep back 100 feet", and because Francine's All American Hottness brings warmth to my nethers.

Mack the Nozzle FTW!

...and by win I mean, I have done so many of those kanji symbols on people, and Samurai Scrote says that to make it right with the universe, I must shove my hands underneath the nearest lawnmower.
 

ahem.."Bio-hazardous"...fuck me I need more coffee, my TARMAL is low...
 

Gary FTW!
 

Mack gets my vote - mainly because his hott is so hot. He possesses many douchealities (douche qualities), such as facial tattos and random chinese lettering. Francine, we understand you're still mad at daddy but Mack may be the straw that breaks the camel's back and daddy will have to go change the will.
 

Hottest hott belongs to Mack. He is also the biggest douche. This coupling makes me vomit. The others just need to try harder for the loss. Huckys shaved groin reveal has the biggest chance of catching on in douche circles. Mack's previous appearance shows his devotion to being a douche. Guyliner could just wash his face, no devotion there. He could probably get a job. Thus he is eliminated in my book. I am also jealous of him because of his eurohott.
 

Hucky gets an A for effort. F@ck, an A++. The other 2 bozos are douches, no doubt, but Hucky is the one I want to trip down the stairs.

And I'll bet Candy likes to drink.

Huckdonkey FTW.

-Douche Douchestofferson
 

these three make me want to dance a tongan haka naked while straddling the water jets at the bellagio fountain just so my boo boo would be clean for crystal. all three of these gashes need pounding but francine needs it the most.

francine ftw!
 

heh heh...69
 

Hucky is not EVEN BUCKY!! (Now that's a contender for the yearly! *big wink at DB1*)

Oooooh Gayline Gary has eyeliner! Well, Mack has permanent eyeliner via the INK WINK! Mack would defeat these stanky combatants via his rabid douche jitsu chokehold. Francine would fart world peace and everyone who got a whiff of her perfection would violently orgasm.

WINNER via 1st Round Cockout: MACK!
 

Francine is an angel. Mack is a turd.
 

I'm really torn between Hucky Sheen and Mack the Nozzle - both are instant classics. In almost any other week that didn't involve Smoot, Hucky would win hands-down for his tasteful combination of H.R. Giger tatts and capris.

But I have to give the nod to Mack the Nozzle, because 1) he has shown his lifetime commitment to bagocity by tattooing his face and neck; and 2) his hott makes Hucky's hott look like a man.
 

Mr. Black Cock

We are pleased to welcome a flaming homosexual sucjh as yourself to our site. Although we do have some long-time part-timers here, you are the first total homosexual who I could identify solely from his post. No self-identification was necessary. Those diversity training classes I've been taking must be soing some good. Welcome, Homo!! I mean- gay person. -Uncle Tony
 

Good call with the VH1 exemption. You know it's simply a matter of time before their scouts start perusing the HCwDB site for "fresh talent."

Mack the Nozzle FTW. This pic evokes the same nail biting drama as that one scene in Alien 3. Is that creepy alien about to drive its tongue with teeth through her head and lay its clutch of eggs in her throat? And then there's the scene in the movie...
 

I'm pretty sure it was Schrodinger's cat and Heisenberg's uncertaintity principal, but anything that prompts a physics joke is alright by me.

Hucky for the win.
 

Hucky Sheen FTW. Just something innately douchey about him. Of course, that could be the hair, the tats, and the amount of gel in his hair that causes his forehead to shine like a full moon.

Guyliner Gary just needs to drop the guyliner and get normal hair and he'll get a nottadouche pass. Either become a full blown douche, or don't. There is no try.

Mack the Nozzle: dude, you're on a VH1 show? that automagically makes you a luser. Your hott, deliciously sweet as she is, seems to think that you're mostly harmless. Me? you're mostly mockable.

Congrats to the Hotts, who are all top-notch, by which I mean they should all be naked in my bed whilst I serenade them with lullabyes.
 

Mack has a message:
Blight or Die?
Tat or Die?
Chinese character on other side or Die?
Lick or Die?

I'm goin with HCwDb Weekly or Die.

I will not disappoint his commitment! To ink Die on your neck and lizard toes above and below your eyes, shows a strong commitment to this site and to minimum wage.
 

Hucky Sheen and Mack Nozzle were both on Daisy of Love right?

So Hucky Sheen FTW?
 

Hucky, whose perpetually shiny eight-head and shaved groin are the only regions he doesn't decorate with swirly tats and head gardening, which translate from ancient cuneiform as "those with scaly snake skin are the first who should be sacrificed."
 

Mack and Francine for sure. They not only represent all that is wrong with the world, but the quality of hott is also far beyond the other entries.
 

Someone posted that this is a weak Weekly - I beg to differ. Each and every scrote/hott combo here has Weekly potential. Let's face it: you just don't come up with Joey Porsche, Fish Slap, Bra!!, ad nauseum every week. While none of these chumps may reach those exalted ranks (and by "ranks," yes, I mean.....) they are still poo and hott, and thus rage-inducing combos. But we need the cream to rise to the top.....or the densest lump of shit to descend to the bottom of the bowl. Whatever floats your boat.....

Barbie Cara's expression is easy to decipher: she was expecting Guyliner Gary to rub his crotch against her (and she was hoping for it), so she wasn't the least bit shocked when she felt "it."

Then "it" started buzzing.

Gary, borrowing Colt Curtis' scarf doesn't help you become a man, though Colt will gladly do so later. Anyway, he is poo, but he doesn't quite inspire the rage the others do.

Hucky's a wuss. Next?

Now, did anyone think I was going to let Archie MackScroteNozzle get away without the win here? Mmmmmm, Francine Panettiere.....how tolerant can you possibly be? Said tolerance is off the charts, just like your hottitude, for you to let that Papa Smurf-fellatin', stupid neck-tattin', stupid eye-tattin', stupid.....complete douchewank even breathe in your presence, let alone touch your loveliness with his chlamydia tongue. The "cage fighter" would rather ground-n-pound with other men, so why not ditch the tool for.....oh, I don't know.....me? I dream.

So it's Archie MackScroteNozzle FTW because in the great octagon of life, he continually runs all the "Stop Douchin'" signs.
 

This one is difficult for me.

Mack the Nozzle on the one hand: What kind of fool has tattoos on his face? I'm not talking a gang-banger or convict, but some middle-class whiteboy? Especially some kind of evil clown type of tatts? One day he may want to...oh, I don't know...hold a job or even a conversation. I'm going to end up paying this fool's welfare.

On the other hand: Guyliner Gary and Barbie. This is almost a two-for-one type of deal. He has the guyliner and modified Flock of Seagulls haircut, so that's bad enough. But then Barbie has to make ducklips? DUCKLIPS!! WTF, man? Seriously. He's a douchebag and she's a bleeth who is 1 step away from out-bagging Gary.

I vote for Guyliner Gary and Barbie, may the roots of their respective family trees be torn up and burned on the 4th of July.
 

Mack the Nozzle, for the win. This guy sucks so bad and hard, if only I could shove his toe in his mouth, he would suck himself into a singularity of poo so dense that a mere teaspoonful would weigh as much as the crap from a 1000 cow dairy farm.
Francine, on the other hand, is a treat, she probably tastes like rainbow sherbet on a hott, hott, day..... too young for the Ol'Bag, however. I have a strict age limit of half my age plus two years, said number being not quite 27, at the moment
Ol'Bag
 

Mack the Unemployable gets my vote. He is a collage of douchebaggery. With facial tattoos like those, I believe that he is the final proof that God is neither merciful, or kind.

(On the other hand, I think his hot would go quite nicely with chocolate syrup)
 

Whenever I see Mack The Nozzle, I keep hearing Butterfly by Crazy Town. I wonder why? So yeah, he gets my vote.
 

Mack FTW. Geometric Douchebaggery. Every picture has him trying to form an isosceles triangle with his spiky hair, twisted smiles, tongue and/or chinstrap. Also, he apparently thinks he's badass because outlasted his tattoo artist, who gave up trying to talk him out of crappy ink. Mack is why this site exists, and Francine is why we keep coming back.
 

Uh oh...
Nozzle and Hucky are the same guy....
He went by Chi Chi on Daisy of Love, and had that annoying Fight or Die tat on his neck for the taping...
The pics calling him Hucky are old.

DB1, you have stacked the odds against poor Hucky/Nozzle...
He is guaranteed to win. He is also guaranteed to have caught herpes from Daisy De La Hoya...

Your favorite fact checker,
Stevie Ray Douche...
 

Oh wait....
My bad.
Nozzle went by Cage on the show.
Hucky went by Chi Chi.
They both oozed such douchosity taht I can't tell them apart...
But you are vindicated.
they are separate douches...
My apologies...
SRD
 

It's simple, really. Francine was the reason why Joe Wilson interrupted the President. Francine was the reason why Kanye did what he did at the VMAs. Francine is the reason why I'm running out of socks. Mack and Francine for the win.
 

It's like Hucky wants it so bad, and has worked for it, but I can't get him across the line. Sorry.

Mack the Nozzle has a lot going for him, the acres of douche-ink that just don't go together culturally, it's like his body is a United Nations office located in Madripoor. The eye tatts are a new low, and the tongue and nuzzling shows just how active he is at recruiting and spreading his virus. Hucky just stands there and let's it boil within like a crucible of ebola in a lab long abandoned after the super-flu.

So it comes down to the hots. And Francine trashes Hucky's leftovers from big bro Chuck's whores. Francine is what is so right, and wrong, with this site. She looks so pure and lickable, so what's she doing with Mack?

My vote goes to Mack because that vote also goes to save the suckle-thigh of the world.

Oh, and Guyliner Gary, he's a loser and he could suck my balls after Barbie Cara does, 'cos you know she would, look into her eyes and read that fear and shame. She'd do it to us all.
 

Mack and Francine FTW. With all due (dis)respect to Hucky's phenomenal loserness, he doesn't hold a candle to Mack. I wonder if he's thought about the fact that he's going to have to explain that ridonculous eye tat in the nursing home (homeless shelter?) in 40 years.
 

What if that is Barbie's "normal" face? What if the collagen injections left her semi-permanently looking like Donald Duck?

Actually, that would be awesome. Here's hoping!
 

Mack the Nozzle and Francine. Does the tat on his neck as "douch or Die"
 

Francine so pure. Her attraction to Mack is unfathomable. They are the winners of this shameful contest. Barbie is really hot but only wants to score some more coke.
Huckys women are skanks. They should be paired up with these losers. Francine should know better.
 

Good lord, a really strong group this week....lemme see here...how best can I alliterate this?...

Mack the Nozzle because he mucks up any nuzzle she might deserve as a sweet and wholesome Hottie.
 

Hucky Sheen FTW.

Mack the Nozzle and Guyliner Gary appear to have just nuzzled up to a hott before the picture was snapped. The photojournalism story of Hucky Sheen and Candy show they think of themselves as an awesome couple. Shame on the both of them for thinking that! They are just douche & bleeth. Nothing more, nothing less.
 

I vote for Mack the Nozzle for the following eight reasons.

Reason #1: He has the words "Fight or Die" tattooed on his neck.

Reason #2: He has gay flames tattooed on his left eye.

Reason #3: He has bi-colored hair cut into a shitty looking mowhawk.

Reason #4: His clothes are fucking annoying looking.

Reason #5: He can probably kick the shit out of anyone reading this.

Reason #6: He is on a shitty VH1 show.

Reason #7: He acts like an asshole whenever I run into him at a nightclub in Vegas.

And, finally...

Reason #8: He is even crappier looking up close and in person. He smells like a footlocker.
 

anyone?
 

100!!!
 

101, motherfucker!
 

Mack the cumlicking douchenozzle FTW.

He and Francine are designed for this website - she, the gentle sweet hott; he, the stanky bucket of spew.
 

I guess I'll vote for Mack, though for what reason I'm not sure. Being on a VH1 show is punishment enough, so there's no extra reason to hate him. Either the douches are uncompelling, or I'm just not in the right mood.
 

Mack's the obvious choice...that is, until you REALLY look at Hucky Sheen. Look at him. LOOK AT HIMMM!

Three rings? Lo boy britches? And what's with the 2-tone hair? I guess just because he can pull his soft pud 8" from his torso he's got delusions of being Reed Richards now.

Hucky Sheen. For the Children.
 

@DarkSock -

.....he's got delusions of being Reed Richards now.

"Wretcho"?
 

Mack The Nozzle FTW. When Hucky Sheen is past his prime he can always put on a long sleeved shirt and work at his dad's auto dealership. However, Mack will be lucky to rise to the station of a jizz mopper at a nudie booth thanks to his throat / face tattoos when the luscious hotts like Francine lose their interest and settle down with guys who have English degrees. (Francine, call me?)
 

I echo JCvD on the kanji issue. I love to learn new languages, but by means of tattooing it on stupid meatsacks all day, well....that's not how I'd go about it if I had my druthers.

I do not believe in the "famous" exemption. I also believe that, if I have not heard of you, you are not famous. You might be saying, "But, Medusa, why does that matter, you miserable, self-absorbed twat?" Well, I'll tell you.

I don't have a television. You read that right. I also do not read the newspaper. I pay very little mind to tabloids, save for what I see on the covers in the checkout line at the grocery store. I don't listen to the radio and I very infrequently see movies that don't have subtitles or aren't ten-plus years old. Really, the only way I hear about anything is word-of-mouth. Seeing as how I'm pretty much a recluse, I have very little in the way of socializing, so I rarely talk to anyone except at work.

Therefore, it takes a HUGE amount of fame for your name to reach my ears. I'm talking Michael Jordan kind of fame, like where you can go to Uganda and talk to a kid who's never even seen a light bulb before, but he knows who Michael Jordan is.

So, in that sense, when people like this become "famous", I am unaware of the backstory and the context. I only understand that they are famous for assholery. I go Google their name and do some research and I am often appalled at what I find. This was, of course, the case when I found out who Mack The Nozzle was.

Now, let me take into consideration the fact that this guy not only lacks the attitude and build to be a successful fighter, but he's adopted all the stupid trappings of such, which is even more foolish. After all, what's he gonna do at Forty? Seriously. When he has faded back into to woodwork with William Hung and Richard Hatch, what's he gonna do for work? Clean the shitter, that's what. And to think that the angelic Francine is getting licked by a future sports stadium janitor makes want to cry salty fuccen tears.

I totally wanna do this with Francine.

I totally wanna do this to Mack.

MTN FTW

I interpret the neck tat to read, "Por Favor Die." I like to be polite when I wish death on someone.
 

The disco ball dress gives me a raging boner.

Cara and Guyliner FTW
 

Hucky's black capri pants and white crew socks lead me to believe he may be mentally challenged AND a douche.

I fervently wish Mack could be transported back in time to 17th century Salem, MA so the Puritans could arrest him as a witch and hang him by his idiotic, tattooed neck... although getting pressed to death by having enormous stones dropped on his chest would be good for the win too.

That leaves Gary. Gary knows he's going to score. I know he's going to score too, because I've seen the look on Barbie's face before...

She's a CPR mannequin. But give him props -- at least he dropped good money on the full-body version. The cheapo truncated style limits his "action" to oral...

Gary for the greasy, dirty, win.
 

I'm going with Hucky. Mack... just puzzles me, and his eye-tatties probably ostracize him from bags and non-bags alike.
 

Mack The Nozzle FTW.

Because, when you have a neck tattoo, you dont have to say ANYthing, a neck tattoo says it all for you ...
 

gary... just cause the other two are have douchestink cause of fucked-up childhoods or whatever. gary chooses to be choad and loves it. girl is cute
 

Hey blondie drop your laundry!
 

Mack the Nozzle, for the stupid face tats. Even 'tho I'm not into ink, I can tell that Maori face tats are hard core cool and Mack's are seriously lame. His chicks are kinda hot though.
 

Mack the Nozzle for the win, and for no other reason but this: When he's macking on some unsuspecting girl and he goes, "I'm a celebrity," she can reply, "No, you're not, stupid. You won HCWDB of the week. You're a douchebag and nothing more for the rest of your days."
 

Hucky FTW. He is the only one with the extreme air of undeserved arrogance.

Guyliner dude is too obviously insecure, he's being played by his hott.
Mack is douchetastic but he seems too comfortable with himself to be classed as true douche.
 

Medusa doesn't watch TV, listen to any sort of radio or read magazines, periodicals and newspapers, yet she knows what a nut check is. What the hell was that? Are the douchekids actually doing this to one another for laughs? That looked so painful I couldn't wish that on Hucky, and I really, really, really want to gut-punch Hucky and ram a jelly dong in his face as he gasps for air.

In high school I got what must be the early ancestor of the nut check, I don't even know if it has a name or ever did, from a douche-asshole. He essentially knelt behind me, pressed his palms together like he was praying, and shoved his hands up my ass to ram my tailbone. And it hurt like the queerest hurt you'll ever hurt. And as he jumped back and laughed in a crowd of people, I hobbled up to him, busted him in the chin, and then put him in a headlock under my left arm and proceeded to mash his nose and face with a half dozen uppercuts with the right. Nobody ever fucked with me after that.

As for a couple of these guys supposed to be recognizable celebrities? Dios mio, man. I'd temporarily check myself out like Medusa if I recognized one of these bags.

Also, I got this new blogger account and for some reason I can't comment with my old one.

I digress.

Hucky FTW b/c he fills me with rage, although I'd eat a live frog to sniff Francine's hair.
 

In most weeks, the absolutely ridiculous go-out of Mack the Nozzle would get my vote regardless of the competition, but in this instance I give the nod to Gary Guyliner. I will never be "hip" enough to sign on to guys wearing girlie make up. The guy is a ueber DOUCHEBAG!
 

^ Believe it or not, I learned of the nut check at my former job about nine years ago. Late thirty-something men doing this to each other all day, my boss doing to them, his wife doing it to them, I was stunned. I don't know if that's what the kids are doing for fun these days, but it's what the adults at my last job were doing.
 

'fight or dic'


my vote goes to the nozzle
 

The Nozzle is quite deserving of the weekly, especially because he doesn't deserve anything. He is so deserving in fact, that I rescind my prior vote for Mack the Nozzle and instead, I vote for Mack the Nozzle.

That'll learn him.

Oh, and I checked out that Daisy of Love (or whatever), and I think I'm voting republican next year. Because, why bother anymore? Any show with "of Love" in the title was conceived of, written, produced, directed, key gripped, and/or catered by hack pond scum shit hole lamprey dick fart excuses for human beings.
 

@Jacques Doucheteau^

"Lamprey"? I was gonna use "lamprey" to describe Brothabag's tongue in "Zombieland II" Weird.
 

"cash for dic"

the clown tatt under the eye makes me seethe with rage.

a rage that, when coupled with my unrequited lust for francine, can only be exorcised by buying puppies in bulk from the animal shelter and lobbing them into the shark tank at my local aquarium.
 

if Hucky or Gary want to defeat Archie the Nozzle, then they'll have to prove their worth in a MySpace deathmatch.

no scratch that idea. a pole dance deathmatch between Francine, Barbie Cara, and Candy is much more desirable.

in the meantime, Arch the Nozzle FTP (for the poo).
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

What a great week to return. Mack the Nozzle for the win, mainly because his hot reminds me of Hayden Panettiere right before she was legal.

What? Yup.

Also shirt + neckless + tongue + hair + face tattoo + kanji that doesn't mean what he thinks = HCwDB weekly win
 

Poor sweet oh so suckable Francine she hasn't yet realized that some people are just born dumb!! They can't help it and we can't help them, it's just something they're cursed with...Cursed right down to the sub-atomic monstrosity from which they manifested! Namely, Inert Poo nozzle we aptly call Mack!
 

Nozzle and Francine. He is surely the most douchy of the candidouches this week. What a tool.

I want Francine's soft soft skin to melt in my mouth. Then I'd nibble the cartilage out of her nose.

Then I'd do it with her. You know. Like, hard.
 

MacK the Nozzle FTW

Guyliner can be a bad decision for the night; Nozzle's tattoo face mess was a bad decision for life.
 

It's got to be Mack the Nozzle.

He shouldn't be within a country mile of sweet Francine. And he seems way too proud of himself for...I have no idea. Being on VH1? Good on you, skeezy. When your fifteen seconds of VH1 "fame" are over, you'll wish you finished middle school.

AV
 

I've put these pictures in the Douche-a-lator 3000 and analyzed them for the 3 most common elements contained in the Grieco virus (choadium Ch, scrotium St and taintium Tt).

And the winner is ...

With scores of Ch=98, St=87, and Tt=91

it's Mack the Nozzle

But wait we're not done.

The Douche-a-lator 3000 can also analyze for hottness.

And in a landslide with all scores off the charts its...

Mack the Nozzle's uber-super-ultra hott.

And we have a consensus: the winner is Mack the Nozzle and his mega-hott.
 

Hucky Sheen is wearing culottes. That's enough to earn my vote.
 

Macko it is, Hucky whines adn I vote Macko.
 

hucky for the win, with guyliner a close second... what is with blue-tongue is just too much of a moron!
 

hucky for the win, with guyliner a close second... what is with blue-tongue is just too much of a moron!
 

hucky for the win, with guyliner a close second... what is with blue-tongue is just too much of a moron!