"Check out the sperm count . . . on my TONGUE!"
 

Stavros needs to invest in a giant watch
 

A little wider dude, I can't quite see your spleen.

AV
 

She looks like that gal,.. what's her name? Y'know the one with the stringy blond hair and a drug induced stupor ? That hangs out with ganglion douche infestation idiots?


Her, you know ?
 

You, little Swedish Katee Sackhoff, are adorable.
 

This young tart might cause Phah to leave his wife for a new model
 

You know, the kinda cute one that maybe you'd bang if you got drunk enough and she had really good skills at rubbing your thigh while you talk in the club?
 

That gal, THAT one ... you stare at her eyebrow nubbings growing back in as you share a couple key shots of cocaine? You know, her?
 

@ Vin 11:01

You mean

Kate Moss
Kate Hudson
Nicole Richie
Ashley Olsen
Mischa Barton
Tara Reid
Paris Hilton
Drew Barrymore
Natasha Lyonne
Siennna Miller
Chloe Sevigny

TOTALLY.
 

I would eta her pi.
 

I would smorgas her bÖrd, nibble her knishes, and spew in her stew.
 

This reminds me of a time I stayed in Athens. Being the raging alcoholic that I am, I was busy drinking Mythos brand beer on my hotel room balcony facing the street.
As I enjoyed my tasty mediterranean libations, a eurobag came scooting by on a scooter, pulled to the side of the road and began groping a lone Hott who was walking herself home.
I did not have a garden hose, a vibrating furby, or 6 gallons of goats' milk. But I did have a cooler full of icy water, and a few rolls of hotel toilet paper. So I got to work and made a few giant improvised spit-balls which I proceeded to throw at the eurobag's head. He scooted away and the euroHott was able to make an escape.
 

It's just that bird law in this country isn't governed by reason!
 

I would Homer her Odessey with my Cyclops.
 

euro hots seem much hotter than those in the U.S. Does this make me un patriotic or just plain old horny.
 

I took another look at the pic. Background hottie might be even better. I hope their rockin to the Best of Scooter. It would make this pic even douchier.
 

^ Agreed, get a close up of the blonde in the background!
 

Lithuania has the hottest chicks and best clubs was there for 3 weeks never saw an ugly or fat girl. These girls look Lithuanian to me.
 

Euro hots and Asians all in the same day. DB1 you should be proud.
 

Fuck you, Blogger. Fuck you and your syphilitic "Conflicting Edits". Fuck you sideways with Peter Murphy's dick.
 

@ Tipsy 1:01

Plain old horny. I prefer Euro meat myself, so I understand. The purer lines that have retained more of the notable physical characteristics of a nationality, coupled with an accent equals giant slickie in the lower regions of Gorgonvalia.
 

After just one night with Stavros Stikadikinme young Katee booked a one-way ticket to the island of Lezbos. Our loss, their gain.

'Cuz Douchebags have that effect on women.
 

She may think he wants to stick his kabob in her pita but little does she realize he actually wants to push in her pimento.
 

"And now I do the dance of joy!"
 

Many of you are familiar with the epic graphic novel "The 300". But you may not be as familiar with its lesser known companion novella, "The 3 Hasbrouck"

Is this adaptation, King Leonidouche leads his army of three Spurtan douchebads against an overwhelming army of bagtaggers bent on their annihilation. Outnumbered and alone, the Spurtans never considered that they would be defeated. As Leonidouche often yelled out the window of his Yugo on a Friday or Saturday night, "We are Spurta!" It was a battle cry that induced uncontrollable convulsions and "f*ck ya's" in the 3 hasbrouck, yet baffled Bartenders and Hotties up and down the Jersey shore.

Two great scenes stand out from among the rest. In the first simple exchange, young Scrotelios, orange skinned and shirtless, is confronted by a Bagtagger General.

General: A thousand 'taggers from across the HCwDB nation descend upon you. Our raging satire will blot out the sun!
Scotelios: Then we shall douche in the shade, bro.

Scrotelios was a true poet of his age.

In the second scene, King Leonidouche enboldens his three Hasbrouck warriors as the army of Bagtaggers prepares for the final assault:


King Leonidouche: No retreat, no surrender; that is Spurtan lore. And by Spurtan lore I mean we will stand and douche... and party! A new age has begun. An age of Axe, Ed Hardy, abs, sweet hotties, and excessive irrelevant tattos, and all will know, that the three Hasbrouck gave their last wristdanna to defend it! Spurtans! Ready your hair gel and eat hearty... For tonight, we douche in Atlantic City!

Truer words were never written. I encourage you, to truly understand the history of the Douchebag, to track down and read "The 3 Hasbrouck".
 

Manos: The Hands of Fail
 

@ Mr. Scrotato Head 3:13 PM,

and let's not neglect the long-forgotten epic, Doy: the lesser known tale of behind Troy, with more douchebags and hotties than the original Trojan War could ever muster.

(bad puns are difficult when you're drunk)
 

@Steve^
They made of movie of that just a couple years back didn't they? I saw it and am absolutely certain it wasn't Homer's Epic but rather his ass pick.
 

So he's an actual "Cretin" then, huh?
 

I'm not certain, but between her dark eye shadow and his white tongue, I detect something more along "Greeced frightening."

And she has EXTREMELY long arms.
Sort of like a sloth. But a cute sloth.
 

He's showing the universal symbol for "cum, it's what's for dinner"
 

emily looks embarassed while dicky barrett apparently drank one too many coca cola's... something she had begged him not to do

-douche bagel