Is that the big boobed girl again in the middle? She gets around.
 

The douche, who would commonly be riding the short bus, has his important "things" packed up each morning by his mother. If he is lost or forgets his phone number, etc., he can simply go to a trustworthy adult and show him his spiderman back pack. Somewhere between an extra pair of underwear and his coloring book she will have a "things to do when lost" list that the adult can follow. Mother said to have a picture taken with the adult who helped so he could remember them later. Thus the pictures on this web site.

C'mon db1, its pretty simple really.

Dr. DB
 

Simple. Douche needs the OSHA approved harness to lift his massive ego.











And boobies.
 

He needs to ditch the backpack and get a bra.

I have a burning desire to see the blonde in the nude. Something intriguing about that one.
 

First and foremost i'm glad you pointed him out because with all that camo I didn't see him. Or maybe that's because I was transfixed on four massive mounds of boob-flesh. Now, on to your question. The answer is quite simple.

It is a Cameltoe-back in which to carry the scrotal elixar of the douchal gods which is then poured into the chalise of the vixenous 'Baggette. In other words its a sack to carry the Natty light that he is gonna put in red plastic cups for hot, large breasted, mildly retarded girls to drink.
 

Boobies!
 

That's no backpack DB1, that's an LBV (Load Bearing Vest). He likely uses it to store things like 'bag grenades, M-4 'bags, and of course his medkit. You know, for all those open sores.

-Bodybag
 

Him having a back pack is a Freudian metaphor for him GETTING a back pack. From Jeff.
 

@ rapetime

i've seen the blonde in her nudies and she will treat you to the best 4 hr love fest you've ever had on viagra only to break your heart and dump you because it turns out she thought it was gross when she let you lick her ass for 20 min just before bustin a nut up in it...

...hypothetically.
 

The blonde is Bam Bam from Curb Your Enthusiasm.
 

there's a bunch of triangles leering at me and its making me happy.
 

that ass was so tight its jumping threads!
 

Is it possible for a douchette to win the weekly because I am all for the girl in the middle to win?

She's been with a wild array of douche bags, and I think she may be the cause rather than their bleething her.

For once, I don't blame Dirk Benedict.
 

Those are knee rests....so Popeye doesn't get skin chaff while face -fucking Pvt Spooge here
 

As for the backpack, something has to cover the holes they have in their backs, shades of the four inch plastic GI Joe figures.

I dub this guy "Lampshade" because he barely has the motor skills to turn on a lamp yet alone understand why a lampshade exists to begin with.

I hate Ritz crackers.
 

I wish Destro would headbutt everyone in this picture while Zartan disguises himself as Dennis Miller and rants about the disgust that is taking place before his eyes.
 

If only that camoflage really allowed him to simply remain unseen...if only...
 

I think the vest is like the fake dog tags I've seen many a scrote wear. (Though, I haven't seen many of them lately, I wonder if they're going out of fashion)

I find the blond intriguing too...

And the Nike jerk gloves on the scrote to be amusing...
 

Did this guy ride his huffy to the club?
 

We can only hope he's preparing for a jump, and those straps belong to an improperly packed and faulty parachute.
 

Even with the tremendous marketing support, the sequel to the Lara Croft video game called "Moob Raider" was a dismal failure.
 

Dr. DB may be on to something, I'm thinking the gloves are an attempt to curb his constant nose-picking.
 

The shirtlessness is to attract other homos. The backpack is to tote his spermicide and moist towelettes for his sphincter, John Mayer and Coldplay CD's, a compact, Carmex, penicillin, and a fresh pair of undies.

AV
 

The backpack is supposedly full of exciting and illegal drugs.
Unfortunately for the two hotts, it actually contains his uniform from Jiffy Lube.
 

He's the kid at the bus stop who puts the backpack strap around his forehead and lets it hang there. You know who I'm talking about.

I do believe brunette is, once again, Ms. Funbags from VH-1's "Tough Love." If her appearance on that show is any indication, she is an annoying, vapid whore, but I can't lie--I'd still pound on it as if I were trying to break a rock. And as soon as she fell asleep and started snoring like a buzz saw (you know she does--the plastic surgery has completely fucked her sinus cavities), I'd steal all the money and Vicodins out of her purse and crawl out the window.

The sad thing? She wasn't even the most reprehensible person on that show.
 

Beatrice has some admirable, well-shaped cleavage, but, unfortunately she lost the log -rolling contest in the 2006 Wisconsin Lady Lumberjack Competition, causing massive
injuries to both knees.
The emergency knee translant was performed quickly, and was quite succesful. Sadly, the only donor avaliable was Hal Williams, a 70 year old former carpet layer, and part time concrete finisher.
 

In a word: boobs.
 

The heavily padded backpack, is to protect his delicate shoulders as he skateboards from his parent’s home in Coto De Caza to Rancho Santa Margarita, where he takes an Ebonics course to fulfill his Suburban Gangster credits in Douchiology.

Moreover, boobies.
 

And before I forget: Boobs.
 

Oh, and bewbs!
 

Damn. Scrotum Pole just killed my buzz with the reference to those enourmous knee caps on fishnet stalkings honey.

On second thought, doggystyle.

On third thought, Boobies!
 

Whats with the rosary beads? Soldier of Jesus Herbert Christ he is not.

One shot.One kill. Thats all one needs.
 

That's not a backpack, it's a device of some sort that delivers medication to his steroid related bacne.

Bleethy DimpleCheeks will spend the next 20 minutes scrubbing her hands to remove the residual goop.

She actually got it off in the first 10 seconds but it took her that long to sing happy birthday in her vapid, vaccuous head.
 

What is this backpack of which you speak?

I just see boobies.

Lots of 'em.
 

He forgot to take his gloves off after softball practice.

Annnnnd... boobs.
 

its a harness for his baseball bat, paint-douche-ball gun...nice Nike mit turd burgler...
 

To the left, Debbie Does Dallas VIII, Debbie Does Des Moines.


In the middle, Truckstop Trixie, who's still dishing it out at the PetroMart on I-80.


To the right, Bret Michaels' failed clone, Petey. I can't say anything aside from, "Look at this shitstain!"
 

Mr. White ^^ what the heck are you doing watching "Tough Love" on VH1?? I imagined you as a scholarly type who enjoyed croquet and the occasional Scotch. Now my opinion of you has changed slightly...yet, I think I like you better now...if you have the flat screen and cheesy reality shows, I'll bring the Budweiser and brats and we'll see what happens. Rrrrraaawww ;)
 

@Anon 0740
Not convinced that the blonde is 55. They look a bit similar but she has slightly the wrong colour eyes and a different build.

On another note... Why is GI Jerk wearing goalkeeper's gloves? Is he expecting to have to handle fast moving balls at some point? Wait, I think I just answered my own question...
 

I'm calling Halloween on this one. However, dressing up as something else doesn't change the fact that these are all patients at the STD clinic. I'm assuming Major Nuisance on the right wanted to go as a soldier. He must be the "Don't ask, don't tell" kind. I don't imagine shirtlessness and ten-degree hat tilt are helpful in the heat of combat, you ballsucker.

And, again, when did Halloween become occasion to dress like a hooker? Every costume is slutty nurse, slutty fairy, slutty dental hygenist...If you're already a slut every other day, Halloween is the time to don some sensible slacks and a turtleneck so people won't recognize you. Although the rubber mask on the one in the middle is pretty frightening,
I wonder where she bought it.


Ohhh, kids, I'm extra-cunty today. I'm sitting here in my PJs and I get called in to cover someone for the 2nd time in 2 weeks, and I'm already covering for someone else on Saturday. Watch out, Douchebags, I have nothing but pure venom coursing through my veins today....
 

Pummelfister, I believe it was The brilliant philosepher Slappy White who once said, "necessity is the mother of invention."
 

philosopher (sic)
 

"I'd steal all the money and Vicodins out of her purse and crawl out the window."

That is why Mr. White kicks ass.
He takes the fight to the enemy.

And by fight I mean urine.

And by enemy I mean bimbo who quickly comes to regret allowing him to tie her to the bed in spite of the warning sign of crinkly rubber bedsheets.
 

Is that Ricardo Arona?

-crazy-sexy-douche
 

Q: Why did Mr. White's condom fly across the room?

A: It got pissed off.





Yeah I told that one before, and I will again in one year. Deal.
 

"click"

Did sombody say Lampshade?

"click"
 

The backpack thingy is just another trend set by The Greatest Artist of All Time... of all time!
 

I'm so sorry that's an ammo pack on his back, I wuz hopin' it wuz a parachute and we could push him off his plane. With the cord missing.

They might be waitin' below with boobies to pad his free-fall.
 

If you're already a slut every other day, Halloween is the time to don some sensible slacks and a turtleneck so people won't recognize you.

Win.
 

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@JoMama

You have aptly described the duality of my nature: I do enjoy Scotch, I write math textbooks, and I play classical guitar. I also have a weakness for trashy reality shows, although I do draw the line. Something like "The Hills" holds no appeal, because although they routinely make asses of themselves, the format allows the participants to embarrass themselves at their own pace. I need rigor in the shaming. An ideal reality show has contestants trying (and failing) to improve their lives in some way, while being mocked by a host who is either their mental equivalent, or slightly worse. A cash prize is O.K., but it's the failed quest for personal betterment that makes the Schadenfreude the most delicious.

Bring on the brats, the grill is fired up.

Also? Extra-cunty Medusa = win.
 

Dollars to doughnuts that PFC Douche has Zima in his camleback. He probably tells everybody that its Krystal.

Blondie as Snowwhite = YUM!

Ariana from "Tough Love" = skanky whore. All you have to do is get her one drink and you can do whatever you want for the rest of the night to her.

@ Mr. White
What kind of math textbooks have you written? I'm looking for a good differential equations book.
 

Speaking of Crabs McGee:

CRABS MCGEE is THE OTHER OOMPA PROMPA!!!!!

... as in, not Fung but the other one.

I think this is the most exciting discovery of the new millenium, and I can't get anyone to notice.
 

On careful inspection, Captain Colonic has a nipple piercing. That, ladies and germs, spells douche in any language except maybe Swahili.

The two hosebags to the subject's right, our left, are just asking to be abused. Unfortunately, they're not asking me, which forces me to make other plans.

I think Captain Colonic's idea of a good date revolves around a shovel and a bag of lime.




Medusa = win; I do have a crush on her. I admit it.
 

seth was to be the poster boy for a push in the latest douche sport of greco roman butt plugging. unfortunately he slipped out
 

@doc bunsen

Most of my stuff is in geometry, but this here book is a pretty good diff eq text by an old professor of mine. Depends on what you're looking for, of course, but the nice thing about that book is that it acknowledges the fact that most diff eqs don't have closed-form solutions, so it teaches how to figure out what's going on with them in spite of that, using graphical or numerical methods. It might not be the best text for pure plug-and-chug-type calculations, if that's what you need, but this was the first book I used that let me really get what was going on with them, instead of just doing symbol manipulation.
 

Barbie Botox and Linda Labia starring in "Craving Ryan's Privates." Coming to a theater near you.
 

@Mr. White

Thanks. This might be something that I should look into a lot further. My students ALWAYS expect a simple solution to everything in P-Chem. I'd like to show them that there are other ways of doing things. Trying to show them where Legendre polynomials come from has always been a pain in the ass as well as solving for the radial part of the Hydrogen atom. It might not be easy but as someone once told me, "Nature ain't always pretty".
 

heh heh heh.

Dr. Bunsen said P-Chem.

Heh heh heh.
 

Bodybag 7:26 AM got it right. Only in this case it's bearing a load of scrote. Anyone that has ever flopped down on the ground, had rocks poking them all over and thought they were pretty comfortable at the time, would never wear one to a club. Hell, this is the sort of crap that you can't wait to take off when you get the chance.
 

why the football/batting gloves?? fucking guy needs a kick in the throat.
 

Pete, he gets extra grip on his cock when he's watching "The Ultimate Fighter" on Spike TV.
 

WTF is up with the mitts, G.I. Douche? Additionally, trimmed eyebrows are an instant douche giveaway. There's tons of douch 'tude as well.
 

Mr. White-You had me at Schadenfreude, ya big lug :) How's 7 sound?
 

looks like Load Bearing Vests we use in Iraq...only ours aren't gay.
 

Unfortunately Barbi, before she realized the meaning of "being slipped a Mickey", was drugged and abducted by reality TV personalities.
 

Hmmm.... Brothabag looks like some pseudo-famous douchewad. I've hated that face elsewhere. Blondey delish looks like a whiter, bustier version of my ex. The wreck in the middle looks like she got away with something...maybe she farted, maybe she shat herself a little?

Count Bagula II
 

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this isn't Private Ryan. this is that corrupt degenerate who helps Frank Lucas smuggle drugs from Vietnam to the US in American Gangster. why else would the bleeths be with him in the first place? they're obviously after his heroin.
 

Any real service member would punch him in da troat for desecrating the uniform.
 

Maybe he was going for the Wesley Snipes look... too bad he's not as much WesleySnipe-y as he is just straight douchey
 

Monkey spankin gloves, scrote grab, manbra what a private pile (of shit).
 

That's the "I dotta doodie" face my two year old makes
 

There's something about the jerks who buy the military gear and wear it like they're cool that really irritate me. You know who's cool, the men and women who join the military and earn it, douche!