And I thought that the "Playa 4 Life" tattoo would be the worst inking that I would have to witness in my twenty-four years of living.

God was I wrong.
 

Ps. The hott over McSreroids left should is only seconds away from shooting him with a spit ball.

Well done trashy lady, I like your style.
 

Should = shoulder. I = dumb.
 

Maybe this just means that we need to collectively step up our heckling games.

And you know what that means...

... more alcohol.




Brb.
 

@ Crucial:

Not so fast. Driven to drink by this site, went last night into my local liquor store and there, front and center, they were proudly displaying the new Ed Hardy line of fine screw-top Chardonneys, Zinfandels and Pinot Noir.

Now it's personal.
 

You're wrong DB1. You're treating the symptoms here and not the cause of the disease. By the time that the D decided to tat-up his chest with some snakes that seamlessly integrate with his Ed Hardy beater, the battle has been lost. I don't think you've ever examined the causes of douchedom, and I believe that they are as straight-forward as poor education and poor parenting. You can't keep blaming it on the media. Someone will always capitalize on poorly raised, poorly educated fellas with receding hair lines.

I've run some quick analysis, plotting D-bag/capita and secondary school exams over time, and found that the R-squared is 1.00.

Therefore, if you really are passionate about living in a world with less douche, I suggest to jump this ship for Japan, and let the rats devour the hull and sink along with. All you're doing here is shovelling water out of the Titanic.
 

"you guys are all pathetic nerds. I get more ass than I know what to do with while you sit at your computers and make fun of the guys who pull the kind of chicks you only wish you could. Get a life."

-how many times have we heard this rant? And time after time we get trolled and become defensive. I think we are the ones who need thicker skin.
 

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They can take my personal hygiene products. They can take my clothes. They can even take my home.

But the day douche's take over my liquor... it will be over my cold, dried, distended liver's corpse.

Ya hear me, DOUCHES!!
 

It's too bad that DarkSock had to let Antonio Ballatore build the addition to his double-wide.

Heh heh.
 

Hey DB1,

Maybe we should throw Antonio's show a bone in the Friday links??

And by 'throw a bone,' I mean relentless heckling.
 

i like turtles
 

@Douchephocles-

totally with you.

you see, as brilliantly illustrated in 24 Hour Party People, but in that case with music, all trends wortk on a double helix; when one trend is going out, another comes back in.

the fact of the matter is that men will ALWAYS be willing to douche it up to attract hotts and hotts will ALWAYS be open to the attention and will positively reinforce this behavior.

What we're going to see is that at it's core douche-mockery is actually "popular with the ladies" trend mockery in fashion and lifestyle.

What's sad is when we see glimpses of our own preferred sub-culture suddenly becoming the spotlight, then marketed, then appealing to hotts, then the less-original, trend-gypsy-esque douchebags (defined as any guy who will make a foolish spectacle of himself to get the hott) will take it on and it will become washed out for a while and when the trend-gypsy-esque douchebag has severely watered it down, another trend will emerge pure of douche only to get the same corporate reaming...or should i say douching?

Army of Douche-ness
 

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crucial:

Dooood - I can't even think about alcohol right now.

I'm glad I didn't hurl all over my car this morning. If I had been guzzling Smirnoff, I would have. Luckily I was downing Luksosowa, which is a very mild vodka.

Someone else noted that the "playa" tatttoo was the stupidest yet, and then... this... this... horrible horrible work... this pointless vacuous stupendously retarded tatt shows up.

WTF was he thinking? In 20 years his dullwitted crotch fruit will ask "Daddy, what is that word on your arm?" And he'll say "steroids" and melonhead will ask"what's that mean?" and he'll have to say "oh, nuthin'"

God, what an imbecile.

Good thing we're running out of resources - less room and capacity for this stupendously stupid bullshit, this criminally ignorant skidmark of a person. With all his muskles he'll do well out in the fields.
 

And what I mesnt to include in my last post but didn't because I had to pee and was holidng it and couldnt think straight but was simultaneously compulsed to get a comment posted was that the douche-attribute of tomorrow that we will mock is not yet known but will merely replace the popped-collar and bling. It was be the same type of gesture, just packaged differently.

basically this is a never-ending war with a constantly evolving and shape-shifting enemy,

it's like the movie 300...we took out the guys with the ninja clothes and silver ghost monkey looking masks but that just means they'll send in the guys who look like horse- mounted turks, half-naked africans, or giant indescrible monsters.

We are that 300 of society.

Army of Douche-ness
 

also again sadly that douche attribute of tomorrow we will mock might be something you like today...time will tell what the "cool hunters" pick up.

AOD
 

i'm the coolest hunter here, and i think i even post the most. at least more than you guys with the blue names and avatars.
 

I blame baby boomers. First, as a generation, they did a piss poor job of raising their kids. Now, they they take advantage of their own poorly raised offspring like so many sheep. They are a vile, greedy, ego-driven generation that won't let go. There will always be douchery but if we raise our children properly, and continue to mock, it will be held to a minimum.

AV
 

Douchebags will never go away. The bell-bottom long- haired hippie wanna-be's of the 70's were replaced by coke-snorting disco freaks, then "urban cowboys" of the 80's. In the 90's it was mullets and designer jeans. We're all too familiar with the 'roid filled faux hawk- wearing guidos of the present era.
Douchery mutates like the virus it is.
So take heart my friends, our jobs here are as safe as those of the policeman and jailer.
There will always be criminals, there will always be cops.
There will always be douchebags, and there will always be a brave and dedicated band of douche- hunters tirelessly doing the thankless job of pointing them out and attempting to rehabilitate them and make them accountable.
 

Ok, my man ....waiting for a good ass pear on this friday then I'm outta here!!
 

I said it before and I'll say it again:

Baghunting "isn't some country club you can waltz in and out of"*

*from American History X

Army of Douche-ness
 

I wonder if his other arm reads "Steroids" as well?

At first I thought it was a fake tatt, especially since this guy isn't exactly musclebound. So I thought it was a hilarious way to mock scroteputzes everywhere. And cutie's expression makes it seem that way as well.

But, upon looking at the enlarged version of the pic, the pinkness around the lettering makes this seem like a genuine tatt.

Not. Smart.
 

^ His other Arm says Valtrex
 

@ Wheeze ^

A good observation, but this is indeed a fake. The redness you see there is from the first attempt with the sharpie (although it looks like eyeliner to me, I'm guessing it's hers.)that wasn't quite up to snuff. So, it was roughly scrubbed off with a paper towel or a cheap hotel bath towel and redone. If he got ground up that much with a tattoo machine to make his arm that red, there would be swelling and probably bleeding for several hours.

How I wish it was, real, though. Look at the fuckup on the "o". And the fact that he doesn't look like he's even seen a dumbell in ten years, save for the ones behind him.

Ah, when his five-year old son with his ex-girlfriend gets a little older and sees this pic, he'll still have a lot of explaining to do, tattoo or no. and the explaining will most likely be a lot of dancing around the question, "Dad, why were you such a dork?"
 

As for douche resistance to pesticides....I suggest a bold new approach. Instead of trying to kill them with poisons, why not starve them to death? Cut off the supply of Grey Goose and pussy, they'll wither like leaves on hot pavement. Round up the hotts at once and bring them to Mr. White's basement. Ms. Oblongata's Finishing School is now in session.
 

@ Troy: Next time try Tito's Vodka; voted best in the world by 7 out of 7 judges at The World Spirits Competition. But more importantly, the distiller (Tito Beveridge, his real name) runs his nectar thru a column distiller 5 times, and pulls the good stuff out of the middle each time, leaving the methanol and propanol out, which are the components of booze that are making you wish you didn't exist right now; basically they're the burn and the headache. You can drink it straight out of the freezer and it tastes like water. I've drank a WHOLE FIFTH of Tito's in one night and felt rather decent the next day. Which is why I don't buy it anymore...
 

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@ Crucial:

Double-wide trailer? Please.

I'm an upper-class Mississippian. I have a two-story double-wide.

4U2NV
 

The truly sad thing about this pic is that it looks like he's actually trying to flex.

I can just here that chick now (insert nasally Fran Drescher voice). "Cory really wanted to be badass today so he made me get the magic marker and put something cool on his arm. I started drawing a flaming Ed Hardy skull but the wuss wouldn't sit still. He screamed like a 4 year-old little bitch when I put the rubbing alcohol on the towel to get it off. I don't think he moisturizes enough. Know what I mean? So then he says 'put STEROIDS on my arm' because he thinks that will make him tough. Yeah, it was right after the crying jag. So I did and I don't know if it came out alright. What do you think? Too bad after the picture was taken that guy behind us beat the shit out of him. We spent the night in the emergency room getting his sunglasses extracted from his asshole. Cory never should've made that bet with him. So anyways..."
 

@ Darksock

Being a chemist it is not the propanol that gives you a headache. It is the other conjoners (ketones, aldehydes, etc.) that give you the headache. A friend of mines project in grad school was to look for exactly these things in cherry brandies and figure out how to keep their levels down. Cool fuckin' project, eh?
 

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@’Sock,

Damn, outclassed gain. Though ‘twasn’t built by Antonio, check out my pad:

Here.

Don’t knock that shizz though boss, I commissioned Mr. Gehry hisself to design it for me.

I was too nervous to design my own home, out of the deep-seated fear that I could never get all the angles just right.
 

Not conjeners. Congeners.
 

@ Croosh

Phhhht. You think you're all great with your waterfront property? How 'bout 360 degrees of ocean views?

See ya when it's noodlin' season, suckaaaaaa!!!!!!
 

Yeah, we're making loads of inroads smacking down choads.

Douchebags are like kudzu: once planted, impossible to uproot, and will take over in amazingly fast time and climate.

Perhaps a forced experience of looking at Thomas Kinkade paintings will cure them.
 

When the mocking gets to be too much, we could always hire a mockingbird and a Kookaburra to do the dirty work, then a crow or raven to steal their bling and hide it, and a turkey vulture to make do with the remains.
 

@ Medusa:

I used to go catfish noodlin'.

But I kept my hands behind my back.



I practically lived in that pond. Yep.
 

The reasonable baghunter adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable baghunter persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all douche slaying depends on the unreasonable baghunter.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

ain't that the truth, George, ain't that the truth...
 

This picture reminds me of what my dad used to always tell me:

You can wish in one hand, and douche in the other; see which one fills up quickest.
 

You fucking regualrs crack my shit up. Someone calls you on your stupidity and you don't even have the decency to answer them. This site is going to hell in a hadnbasket.
 

You fucking regualrs crack my shit up. Someone calls you on your stupidity and you don't even have the decency to answer them. This site is going to hell in a hadnbasket.
 

Yes, and we're all riding that hadnbasket, aren't we?


I was going to observe that if you're going to get a tattoo that says "STEROIDS" you'd at least look like you take them, and I don't know... work out?

My cock is thicker than his arm.
 

Yeah, I didn't know I was a "regualr." But Anon 3:50 p.m. said it twice so it must be true. Well, there's that and the fiber caplets I take.

That's OK, though. I already knew I was destined for Hell, so the main goal I have is receiving continual seat upgrades in that hadnbasket.
 

Anon 3:50 PM

I'll bet a dildo made of hot coals would crack your shit up also; try it tonight!
 

On his other arm is a tattoo that reads, "I'm joining a gym next week."