Maybe he was at the center of his own Love Boat scandal.

Or he's just a huge pile of poo.
 

Is that her hand in his pocket or his?
 

Deuce Choadaload

Inkie Slapdash

Curly Capdanna

Yuseless Egonads

Paltry Rubishly

Pablum Barrenbrain

Sorrie Trashkan
 

Her name:

Garish Gimcrack

Cumswallah Spermatozoon

Seminalla Milt

Inseminatia Muddletrap

Labia Mortice

Danica Drillhard

Lingua Lickorgan
 

My Mr. Ugly compels you to display tongues whenever a picture is being taken.
 

Is this a Saturday morning cartoon?

What's that showing through the hole below left of douche's zipper fly?
 

Crystal, I can think of far better uses for that tongue, and by far better I mean a few good laps around my teticular region.
 

Phallus in Chains
 

That's the finger he starts the coffee maker with at the Dunkin' Donuts.
 

good G-d. i can't tell where the douchebag shirt ends and the douchebag skin begins.
 

whoa, wait. 3 mandanas. a triumvirate of 'bagcessories.
 

This is the same guy as Cactus Joe! Look at the tattoos (star in the crook of the arm, etc.). He's an exceptionally versatile douche.

Also, I think that's my grandma's necklace hanging over his ass.
 

Holy sweet Jesus! This bag is XXXtremely powerful. Look at the accessories, the face, the roid, the tats, the hott......he has it all. This picture hurts my eyes.
 

Hmmm, Jen I do believe you are correct on the Cactus Joe. He almost camoflaged his identity here, but, alas, the 'baggery always comes through. This time, in spades.

+ infinity.

What's up with the red tongue on the Bleeth/'baguette? And the barb-wire tatt? Gads, I love women with daddy issues.
 

He causes spontaneous colonic irrigation.

She causes massive IOB.
 

What to name this guy?

Broke-ass Vanilla Ice (or Vanilla Sludge....eww).
 

what i'm hoping is that the "barb wire" tat is in actuality a signifier of her ongoing battle against douche and it appears to me, the glass half full, that she is in the process of kneeing this guy in the nads. the MJ tongue simply shows us she enjoys her work...

...or not.
 

Zoot Douche Riot
 

prick le pear
 

Fish Slap's (fuck him) younger bro, Guppy Tickle

bleeth looks like she's practiced that face many times.... ready to baby bird the money shot
 

There needs to be a second string blog for "Trashy Hoes with Ass Sacks"
 

the folks at the unemployment office just call him Jim.
 

her name is Dallas, at least it is when she is on the main stage and Pour Some Sugar On Me is cranked up.
 

He appears to be a steaming pie
 

Dudley Doucheright
 

The hott drought continues
 

choad blossom and ramela anderson
 

Well, we know he's not hanging right and with the steroids, I'd bet he isn't hanging left either. I bet whatever dangle he has left has been sucked back up into the body cavity or was ripped off during a furious masturbation session while watching 300.

Yes I would do Ms. Skittlestongue, but I would soak myself in 20 Mule Team Borax for a week afterward.
 

At the velvet spike they call him The Receptical.
 

This tatooed fuckface is either playing pocket pool or scratching his chronic case of crabs.While Crystal, too blinded by self-esteem issues, blissfully waits her turn at sharing the tiny parisitic orginisms.
 

@jen, 11:35 a.m. -

I do believe you're right:

Cactus Joes

I think he has the other end of your grandma's necklace stuffed in his ass, ready for a good yank when he wants to finish off his evening.
 

Is it possible all the breathtaking hotts such as Jeterbag's lovely blonde morsel are all in hiding lest they be pinned under the watchful spotlight of the DB1....captured being macked up by these bar crawling colon leeches?
 

That is the biggest douchebag i've seen in a long ass time. Ridiculous emo-type earings, douchey hat covering mandana, longsleeve tat shirt, plunging d-neck, chin pubes, wristdanas, and a miserable looking face. he's got it all save a white belt....and she could lick her own neck with that tongue
 

So many whores, so little time...*sigh*
 

that guy with the youtube monologue is hilarious. and he's definitely a contender for douchiest username of all time, honestly: "ChAinHanGlOw69"

*blank stare*
 

We live in very troubled times.
 

after further scrutiny, I think he's trolling/joking. still hilarious though.
 

Looks like shes been afflicted..no turning back now Crystals a baguette
 

DarkSock said...
Phallus in Chains
11:15 AM
________________

WIN!

B-B-B-Bag To The Bone
 

How's about

Q-ball Letat Overmandana
-n-
Tracie Righthere
 

He is a giant helping of turd.

But I argue against her bleetheyness. Barb tat? Yep Tounge out? You betcha. But orange skin? Nope. Retarded sunglasses? No where in sight? Bleached blonde hair and/or ed hardy gear? Notta and negative.

I argue instead that she's just flat out naughty, in the worst way. And by "worst," I mean, "most boner inducing." She started smoking cigarettes at age 12 and lost her virginity when she was 14 to a 28 year old. She is rebel uber vixen.

The only reason she's posing with this scrote is to piss you off DB1. 'Cause Crystal just does shit like that.
 

Wow. Douche signifier explosion.

Crystal is going to be an alligator handbag full of Crisco in about ten years, mark my words....
 

You know what her tongue is missing?

My cock.
 

By far the biggest bag we've seen since E-Blo. He is everything that is scrote.
 

Tats, earring, chin pubes
mandanna times two, hand signs
Friday Haiku Scrote

(Oops)
 

Yeah, I think Cactus Joe/Smoot definitely has a leg up on the next Weekly. Cheeto Man would give him a fight except for being a gaybag. Pouter Puff might get some consideration, but Smootbag looks like a lock.
 

Alice in Wallet Chains
 

no i aint the fball playa im just da cown datz in dis pic wit da hot bitch yo! fkin h8rz y'all jealous i'm hittn that shit
 

chicks with big tongues + blowjob

???

profit!

...

...

...

wait! i think i got it!

??? = violent removal of Smoot from human existence!

eureka!
 

@Darksock: "Phallus in Chains" is sheer genius.
 

SMOOT is a total-scrotal wreck with half a deck.

CRYSTAL has meth-od in her tongueness.

They met in DeSmet,SD . True story.
 

Here we go again...this scrote keeps popping up like poisonous mushrooms after a rain. This is surely the Douchebag from "Still Life with Wheelbarrow." Same scrote, new douche adornments.
 

@Chris in 'Baghdad -

Yep.....the "Victoria" upper pec tatt says it all, even though there are different women in all 3 pics:

Still Life With Wheelbarrow = Cactus Joes = Smoot.....



..... = WEEKLY shoo-in. And I'll bet none of the women in these 3 pics are the "Victoria" of his ink dreams.

The only question, when this chump puts a run on a potential Monthly, is "Under which nickname will this choad appear in the Hall of Scrote?"

I think we can all guess there are more scrote pics of him out there.
 

A rose by any other name would be just as thorny as Still-life-with-wheelbarrow, Cactus Joe's and Smoot.

May a posse of Japanese beetles descend upon him and eat him alive.
 

@Wheezer & Whoop-

True that! But does his tatt say "Victory" or "Victoria?" Either way it is lame, but if it is a chick's name, then it is double lame.
 

I cannot help but think less of her.

Take a step back and see him as the douche that he is.
 

The "Victoria" of his dreams was probably some semi-hott Catholic schoolgirl in high school who used to bang every male in school...except our friend here, who was probably every bit as repugnant 20 years ago as today. She became the unattainable one, for him.

BTW, when did faux-fire damage wall treatments become popular?
 

Still suck my large green penis Crystal can!
 

Hope you are gettin paid from MTV Heir Douche douser.
Beed reading for years, been brought to tears. Douches galor, none a bore. Pleanty o HCs too, but always, painfly with a deu.
YOU DA MAN!
 

^^^^

Um, what?
 

Holy crap! What a steaming pile this guy is...I think the chains are attached to his anal beads...I'm sure that look on his face in every pic is the result of a 'roid-induced stroke, with his wardrobe straight out of the J.Tard catalogue
 

Hawley sucks worse.
 

His hott bears a striking resemblance to porn star, Taylor Rain. Not that I would know.
 

At least she looks better than his last girl, Shitney Spears.

Although she probably doesn't have that kind of money.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

mmmmm she hot.