What's with the lost dude in the background?
 

do you credit this chap for such intricate hair shaving? those chin straps are so parallel it defies physics somehow.
wowow
 

Dude shaved a pattern in his scalp to match his lame tatt. What a dickhead.

Oh sweet boobies.

I love her.

AV
 

That's the kind of guy you bring home to mom, ladies. I'm sure he has a great personality, equaled only by his manners and sense of chivalry.
 

Faux-hawk, pattern shaved in his hair, wearing a wife beater, has an extremely stupid tatt, retarded dumbass look on his face, and cornrow shaving (I'm not giving a police report, just summing up the douce points). And he's with an uber-hott (with awesome side boobage, might I add).

My anger is rising...rising...I can taste the bile in the back of my throat...rising...

Nostradouchemas, I wish you ill.
 

What you have right here is the human embodiment of the queef.

Scary isn't it?

I think it is.
 

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Oh, lordy, I would so dantily enjoy nibbling on those succulent scallops, right out of their shells. Those sweet Heidi braids would tickle my nose as I num-num-nummed away. And she would giggle and say, "Stop iiiiiiiiit! Everyone's loooooookinnnnnng!" I'd then reach around and firmly grasp her ass cheeks with both hands and say, "I know, baby. Enjoy all the free drinks we're about to get."

Meanwhile, Nostradouchemas would look on in slack-jawed confusion as to how I absconded with his Hott. I would turn to him and say, "All 'bags ever think about is grooming. All nerds ever think about is sex." And then I would go back to gently suckling her cute little pinky nipples with my eyes half-closed, heaving a sigh of contentment.


And then a giant flaming meteor would fall from the sky and crush him into a pile of crispy goo.
 

Out of a society of guys trying WAAAAY too hard, this choad stands out.
 

Dog?

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008/12/douchiest-tattoo-facial-hair-combo-dog.html
 

Nevermind. Tatt's like those could not be mistaken for each other.
 

Just imagining those tiny little erasers of happiness concealed under that thin white fabric makes me giddy. Imagining Mr. Hebrew Bull here pressed up against them makes me sad. Imagining this queefstain reinacting the Mr. Hands video with a longhorn makes me giddy again.
 

Was that bull circumcised?

She has the smile of a godess.

He has the workings of a splashing shit explosion. In your pants. Miles from a rest room. With no change of clothes in the car. After much King Taco red sauce. With your mother on the passenger side.


Could it get any worse?
 

Is this a Kosher douche? Observe the Star of David tat with the cow in the middle. Not just a cow but an angry (mad) cow. This tattoo says, "Thank you, no. I shant partake of the bacon-wrapped scallops. However, the brisket may by an acceptable epicurian selection once I verify that it is indeed Kosher." Unfortunatley for this bag, he missed the part of the Torah that forbids tattoos. While, I'm sure that his triple chinstrap is not specifically ruled out by any holy scripture, I think any Rabbi would probably tell him he looks retarded. As far as tasty hott is concerned, my thoughts are pretty much in tune with Medusa Oblongata @ 9:47am. I hope this douche does not actually have a religious preference as the Jews have suffered enough prejudice and bigotry without Nostradouchemas feeding unnecessary burden to their plight.
 

Well, Medusa made sure I'm not doing any work for the rest of the afternoon. No "work" related to my job, anyway.

Not that I'm complaining.
 

Medusa said: "All 'bags ever think about is grooming. All nerds ever think about is sex."

Tis true, tis true. Nerds also have smaller, more dextrous fingers with a gentler touch, which can be handy.
 

this ginormous douchebag will certainly be making an appearance in next week's Weekly. right DB1?
 

It can get worse.

May her lower clamshell clamp tightly on his pedunculus and sting him in a mollusk stranglehold of death-by-she-shucks-seashells-down-by-the-seashore.

Or some sorta shit like that.
 

5 douche violations in the facial and cranial hair alone...this is a full on, no doubter.

now maybe its a built up immunity but i have seen a lot worse tatts, not that its a particularly wonderful example...

for that we have the hott, in true classic dbhc tradition she is only marginally stained which activates the sympathetic nervous system, now recognized as fight, flight or savajo.
 

Man, I just shot a load reading Medussa's short story. Wife won't be happy about me running around on empty this weekend.
 

He must be The Groom.
 

I fucking hate that guy.
 

Nice facial pubes but you are no Blowfish sir.
 

This guy is King!
 

Maybe not a king but at least a soldier of poo
 

Nostra-dumbass
 

He's Jewish and has a tattoo? WTF?
 

Green shorts chump is wondering where his ass went.
 

OY! I perdict yall getn one o dese tays urself sumday
 

tats sorry bout da typin fkup
 

i hope Tiny Pocahontas is really tiny, like 4'11 or something. then it increases the ease with which the not-much-taller Nostradouchemas can be brutalized.
 

Thats a serious knuckle dragger right there.
 

This fuck is weekly bound.
 

this jerk off tattoo is about as cool as the movie milk, so get the fuck out of here jerk off
 

judedouche