Thursday, July 23, 2009

 

Lithuania: Unclear on the HCwDB Concept


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Greetings DB1,

Take a look at best what we've got here in Lithuania. Not quite HCwDB, but we're a third world country.

E.

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The ridiculously unbalanced ratio between the quality of suckle thigh and creepy Europbaggery on display in Eastern Europe is on an ongoing global crisis.

While Eurobags often don't resemble the douchebaggery we know and loathe here in America, the suckle thighs still desperately need saving. By me. Using only a ball of twine, extensive licking of their kneecaps, and a large towel soaked in chickenfat.
Comments:
I think Lenny, the bastard Munster, is just happy to be near a nurse.
 
So Eddie Munster lives as an adult in Lithuania are we to believe?
 
She is my favorite. For a second there I saw the red cross and thought of the crusades. Then I stopped thinking and just enjoyed.
 
So, ah, shit. I don't understand what's going on here at all. I give a nottadouche to Poindexter here, though. Hawaiian shirts and Soviet made automobiles do not a douchebag make. I don't know what this adds up to, but it ain't a douche.

Nurse Inga however, can give me the barium enema anytime she likes. That's not weird, is it?
 
they're about to shoot one of those stupid "Nurse fucks patient" pornos, and the actress is just goofing around. The douche in red is the guy who holds the microphone boom.
 
ugh...Wheezer scooped me on the Eddie Munster Riff :|
 
Why would that be a stupid video?
 
Oh come on! This is not a douche. Goofy ugly dude with ridiculously large ears yes, but douche no!
No hand signs, no bling, no blowouts, no chinstrap, in a few words no attitude. He does not want to be 50 cent, he does not even know who 50 cent is.
He is also trying to smile. :) His friends say it brings out the best of him.
 
Not a douche... But Chunk like candy bar for sure.
 
this is like looking at a car/accident.
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
I have had the privilege of roaming this earth for three and a half decades. I have seen many terrible things, and I have seen many wonderful things in that span.

For instance, I hearken back to that great moment of triumph, when John F. Kennedy proudly told Russia to ‘Tear Down this Wall.” I also fondly remember one of our darkest moments of tragedy, when Abraham Lincoln lost half his scalp to that cocksucker on the grassy knoll.

Truth be told, we have ALL seen many things.

But never… NEVER, have we seen ANYTHING as mind naminipulating as this.










... except for that time I met Plinky's mom.
 
Nottadouche, though I am perplexed how a shirt like that ended up in Lithuania? Notice the nurse in the background... I would be curious as to what is really going on here!? Is she holding some kind if thin prodding device? I think its a public roadblock to check for head lice. Mr red here is just stoked he doens't have any!? Sweet car bra..
 
I am not sure the thing on the right is human. There are definitely some extra/missing chromosomes involved.
 
@philthy: good point. and i love your work w/ motorhead.
just what in thee sam-hell is a goin' on here?
 
Okay, I've also noticed another blonde nurse and a big white van in the background. Eastern Europe is fucked up, man.
 
What she is in fact holding is a dipstick. The former Soviet bloc douches aren't as advanced in the evolution of hair product as we in the West. Young Pavel here (he is in fact 19; wearing 30 weight on your head, smoking unfiltered and drinking brake fluid all age a man considerably) just had a tune-up. Svetlana here just wants a plane ticket and the address of the nearest Scores.
 
I think that guy is missing a few chromosomes.
 
The Long Island Redcheek was just taken down..... : (
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
@Crucial Head....wait, you've actually MET Plinky's mom and lived to tell about it???



i may have to wait until tomrrow to comment on this picture. the fact that Crucial Head has seen Plinky's mom in person has me completely discombobulated.
 
Hmmmm, why no Chernobyl references?

Well, allow me...


Man, that guy must have immigrated from Chernobyl to Lithuania.





I didn't say it'd be a good one.
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
@Pfah,

I actually wrote some first hand accounts of our encounter back in December or January... in the comments threads on a couple Friday Thoughts posts.

Needless to say, it was such a harrowing experience, that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

And by 'worst enemy,' I mean Anon stalkers.
 
The Long Island Redcheek must have migrated to Hudson Bay for the nesting season, or else he is one big fat pussy and doesn't like being busted for wearing girlie makeup.
 
@Crucial Head...dear god man. i am just happy you found a way to survive.
 
Samurai Scrote once met Plinky's mom...ergo Plinky...
 
I thought Big Blue Cube Bert had met Plinky's Mom, at least by his appearance they have soemthing in common.

Oops, wrong thread.
 
Does that make Plinky...'Son of Scrote'?
 
You are confusing homely with douchebaggery, DB1. This fellow is very homely and wears a Hawaiian shirt in middle Europe. Very odd.
She's your standard teasing skank fake nurse, works in any country.
 
Odd ,yes but not-a-douche
 
Nice widow's peak, Igor. So, are you going to work late in the la-bore-a-tory with Svetlana?

Hot car that one. The latest in Baltic technology?
 
@MC900: I was so going there.
-Wait, you mean Chernobyl is not in Lithuania?

In other news, I was unaware Buster Poindexter's Eastern Europe Tour was still on.

Oh well, I guess he's just thinking with his dipstick, Jimmy.
 
@ cru head

You can't forget when Woodrow Wilson stated flatly:
"We have nothing to fear, but fear, itself."
Or when Eisenhower proudly exclaimed:
"The buck stops here."
 
Howla?!

Looks like Lithuania is suffering from a slightly different variation of England Syndrome (where the women are smoking and the men are all silly goobers whose teeth look like crazy paving).

That shirt looks like a mu mu on him. And if his eyes were tilted up about 8 degrees each, he might look normal.
 
that guy plays for the washington capitals. he's really good.
 
The eastern block has the hottest woman and the most fucked up men you could ever think of. This could be a site in and of itself.
 
Eastern bloc-head really, really is homely. Poor soul. Not to be too critical, but his low-set ears and low hairline indicate something akin to, maybe a kind of birth defective life in utero...maybe his mama drank too much vodka and gave him fetal alcohol syndrome. His good nature outweighs his poor luck in the looks department. Not to be too critical here, DB1, but he isn't really acting douchey or doing odd things to his physical features. She however, is playing the femme fatale nurse/tart with gusto.
 
"David Schwimmer, call your office..."
 
So, in Lithuania, Ronald Reagan is alive and well with a Hawaiian shirt and a banging a hot vampire nurse?

WTF?
 
That looks like Justin Long's test make-up for the second Planet of The Apes remake.
 
Damn, late to the party and already posted are Chernobyl, chromosome, and Planet of the Apes references...all I can say is that I know what I would hit the X's with...she is Hall of Fame material, so Hott, and I could probably have her for a loaf of bread.

Feel bad about Cornelius. I'll just leave him alone.

-Douche Bauer
 
Man, Jeff Goldblum is having a REALLY hard time getting work these days...
 
I want that car. NOW. And if I have to dress like a skanky nurse and grind on Eastern European cro-magnons to get it, I will. I've done worse for less.
 
@Crucial Head: Your memory is getting fuzzy. It was Reagan, not JFK.
 
@H.

Right you are my friend. I doubt we’ll ever know the real reasons why John Wilkes Booth shot Lee Harvey Oswald either.

What is it with assassins and three names anyway?

Yours,

Crucial Aloysius Head Sr., Esq., Dr., AIA
 
Not a douche.
Eurobags are far cleaner-looking than that.... but trust me: they don't wash their hands.
If this guy was scrote, he'd be wearing a much tighter shirt and as long as he was in Europe, he wouldn't be caught dead in a hibiscus-print anything, let alone a shirt that's too big for him.

This picture would be better suited for a "Girls That Just Made My Testicles Empty Themselves Multiple Times with Weird Looking Guys.com" blog.
 
Medusa Oblongata...check ebay, search for Volga GAZ 21 and you'll see you don't have to grind on any cro-mags to get one of your very own, though they are always overpriced here in the states-Volga's-I don't know what a good condition cro-mag goes for now-a-days. I don't want to discourage any lovely ladies from dressing like a skanky nurse, but that's just me, so leave that part in the equation.

Cool Hand Douche
 
Not a douche, but definitely a dork. A serious dork. I can see the San Diego Comic Con from my balcony and it's dorkier than that. But not by much
 
Not a douche, but actually a really "hep-cat" according to Russkie standards.
 
if Lithuania really is a third world country, then i should've been able to rip the nurse hott in the pic away from Mr. Outdated Fashion with $50 plus a plane ticket.

you give me such high hopes and bring me so low, E.
 
As the former managing editor of a men's magazine, I'd say that 50% of all the hottest girls we used came from Eastern Europe, often from the Czech Republic. The disparity between some of the suckle-goods and their bro-heim never ceased to astound me. There were often perfect 10s dating not just DBags, but also gooftards and poof-turds as well. This couple is about average for the region--the girl is drop dead and the dude looks like he has birth defects. The girls look like foxes and the guys look like sheep.
The one bad thing about the girls over there: some of them have some serious stink-pink. Not just bad pussy breath--I'm talking about Black Death here. The plague in their pussy. They'd open their legs during a shoot and your eyes would water and your head would begin to throb.
The smell of live birth is the same as rotting death. They're like pussy traps--some of these flesh vaults were never meant to be opened and forever curse the intrepid cocksmen who dare to penetrate the threshold of these womb tombs.
Literally...I had no idea white people could smell so bad. It's like that old Zen koan: What's the smell of one butt-cheek flapping?
Poo floating in a hot tub sauna full of bubbling pus rot.
And the food over there: Some of that East European twat tastes like rotten anal warts. I'm just saying--some of these hot chicks have looks that can kill and cunts that can maim. Babies are routinely cut out in C-sections to keep the lethal stench of the vaginal canal from killing the newborn while it passes through. I've read that 50% of all stillborn births are due to twat toxins.
Some of these girls you've got to soak your dick in tomato juice after fucking.
I mean you can smell these cunts through the Internet. You can smell these cunts in other galaxies.
These pussys smell so awful they light up. If we could harness the stink on some of these twats we'd have free energy for life. One twat could power a fleet of thousands of trucks and buses. I'm talking about vaginas that can melt the gas mask right off your face. Otherwise pretty, pretty girls who open their legs and KABOOM! the Richter scale reacts, animals retreat to higher ground, skunks jump in front of cars.
A queef more deadly than swimming in a vat of liquid swine flu.
Pussygoop that burns through the chairs these girls sit on.
Otherwise, these dolls are pretty sweet. Just be sure to say a prayer or hosanna before you go breaking the seal on an Eastern European piece of fuck-Tupperware. You could be taking in your last breath. It's sort of like smelling salts if smelling salts put you in a five-day coma just for having been downwind of the Euro stench-trench.
These girls smell so horrid they must be immune to the scent lest they kill themselves having secreted their vaginal venom. And it's not like they're dirty-looking slutty or whatever. You really can't tell. They could have 100% perfect hygiene. They could have perfect fingernails, hairless lips, perfect skin without a single blackhead anywhere and then you think you're opening the Pearl of Life and instead you've unleashed a Pandora's Box of Biblical strife upon the world.
Once, a raven-tressed doe-eyed beauty came in to the office. She was Crimean I think. She wore perfume on her neck. When she split her slit, I swear I saw a spider walk out of her cunt. Later, a raccoon carrying a porcupine carcass hopped out. the raccoon wore a clothes pin on his nose. His eyes were a bright pink. He was delirious. That wasn't a carcass--that was decaying pussy meat wrapped in a tumbleweed of pubic hair. This girl wore a bikini bottom and when she took it off and opened her cunt, she fouled the beaches in Los Angeles, more than 6,000 miles away.
And this, I contend, is why such girls hang out with douchebags--as the purpose of douchebags is not to wear Ed Hardy shirts and strut around with faux hawks. Douchebags are made to make pussys smell better.
 
The pussy can be a very stinky place. Once you are no longer a stupid teenager, the thrill and novelty of the stink finger goes away and never comes back. I remember my first girlfriend--waking up in the middle of the night and taking a whiff of my finger. Huffing her panties. there is a gulf between tastefully tuna and instant death by feminine odor. And that pussy that smells today is just going to get stinkier and stinkier as she gets older and staler. I have been married before. Trust me--you do not want to be beholden to one pussy for the rest of your life. That pussy will put its scent on you and wrap you up like a boa constrictor. It will not let you breathe. That is your pussy. You go to work 8 or 9 hours a day fight traffic get no sleep, sacrifice your best years just to feed the woman who owns that cunt. She EXPECTS you to give her everything. And what does she give you in return? A fucking baby? No fucking thanks! Soon, you're 45 years old, driving a mini-van to work, a grocery list in your pocket. You take out the trash. You clean out the gutters. You change flat tires. You sweat and slave because of a bag of skin full of pus and piss. All for 15 or 20 seconds of pleasure--and then she wants YOU to GO DOWN ON HER! She NEEDS to get off that way? You have to eat her snatch, no matter how foul and greasy it tastes? Well, it's only going to get more and more foul and nuttier and nastier and soon the pubes grow over the skunk and turn white and she STILL wants you to go down and eat her shit patch and one day you're 80 years old and all you want is a nice young piece of tail but you can't have it because 60 years ago you were so horny that you didn't bother with a rubber and you knocked up this bitch that got fatter and fatter and uglier and uglier for the next six decades and she'll OUTLIVE you spending your damned money after you die and wearing Mom jeans and then Grandma sweatpants and then the sexless fat cellulite appears everywhere and she can hardly squeeze through a door without brushing her hips and you think, was this worth the trouble? I could've become a heroin addict and at least then I'd have gotten 12 hours of pleasure before I started to feel this shitty and sweaty and sick. And it becomes rote after the first two months and you start to fuck her in the exact same way every time and it's so predictable and lame and you no longer get hard when you see her naked and she starts pissing in front of you and you smell the cunt on the toilet bowl and you can't watch what you want on TV or go get drunk or do what you want. The only thing you can do is what she wants to do and worse, if you have a family, you have to listen to the damn brats cry all fucking night. And they never say yes, thank you dad for all your help and work and money and you buy caskets together and soon you realize what if there is a heaven and I have to spend eternity with this woman who wears adult diapers and shits herself and has long hairs growing down of her chin.
 
And you look in the mirror and you feel old, yet you can still score a hot 20-year-old once in a while but you don't because you know that she's going to end up costing you thousands of dollars for every second of pleasure you get banging her. It's a no-win zero sum game and it sucks. It's set up so we have to open doors for them and drive them and listen to them squawk and do it non-stop without a break forever until she wears you down and you croak and you get to heaven and there she is waiting for you with a list of shit you have to get from the store and she wants to spend your money buying crap from the gift shop and that money is money that you bled for, but it's never enough for her. She always wants more. And when you first went out she only took a bite of dinner and said she was full and now you catch her living in her sweatpants, eating Pinwheel cookies by the case, listening to that crappy "Butterfly Kisses" song on repeat and somebody comes up to you with a gun and tries to rob you and you say Hell, No! You're going to have to shoot me. Please! Shoot me! And your wife starts to scream RAPE! And nobody wants a piece of her and the robber runs away, already sniffing her scent. And she's got secret genital warts, HPV, vaginal yeast infections and she's fat all of a sudden and you only had a few months of skinny fucking and now you roll her over and she makes pig noises when you bang her and you need Viagra to get an erection and she blames you, telling her friends that you have erectile disorder because her ugly ass has gotten too big for real sizes anymore and now she shops at Wal-Mart and buys XXL clothes in the Big Men's Department and her feet smell and she picks her nose and wipes her boogers under the dinner table and she's got poop streak marks on her underwear and her body is like warm white jello and she never wears a bikini again and she's got stretch marks from the kid and her cunt is as loose as an unraveled Christmas bow and you can't feel a thing in there and she has morning dick breath and plaque all over and her tongue is brown and yellow, her teeth are golden and she has ear wax buildup that she gets out with Q tips and then puts them in the toilet without flushing so you go in there and you puke seeing all the ear wax on the Q tip and you can't understand what in the world ever made you decide that this woman was at all attractive and she complains that you never buy her flowers or chocolates anymore and you saved up for a year of your shitty job to buy her a damn worthless diamond ring!
 
Thank you Peter. That was hilarious.
But you're angry, dude. And you should see a better therapist than the comment thread on a joke blog.
Seriously. You're not well.
I'm sure baghunters the world over have your back, but we can't heal you.
Girls are confusing. Women are full-on crazy.
It's our job as men to become alcoholics and deal with it.
That three post rant was over the top and I fear for you.
Don't take things so hard, brother.
Just look at a picture of a dude that makes you want to puke on your chest and thank whatever diety you decide is worth believing in that you know better than to end up as douchebag of the year.
Things will be fine.
Even if your existence is full-on SHIT til you die, take comfort in knowing that you WILL die one day.
We really can't lose.
Either we live a kick ass life and thank our lucky stars that we did, or we wish for death everyday and one day it magically comes to us when we cross the street without looking because we lost our bifocals.
Just go with the flow and be happy that even complete strangers are with you.
 
Uglier than a sack full of assholes...
 
By the way the guy in phot is a member of parliament:
http://www3.lrs.lt/pls/inter/w5_show?p_r=6113&p_k=1&p_a=5&p_asm_id=53911&p_kade_id=6
 
By the way, he is a member of Lithuanian parliament: http://www3.lrs.lt/pls/inter/w5_show?p_r=6113&p_k=2&p_a=5&p_asm_id=53911&p_kade_id=6
 
Due to anon's link, I retract my not-a-douche.
Politics + American Eagle Outfitter clothes in Lithuania = DOUCHE.
 
Why are we invading countries for imaginary weapons of mass destruction? We should be invading countries to liberate all the Euro hotts from these bizarro scrotes.
 
i think we have to assume, by time stamp that there was c and p involved in peter's rant.

but hilarious up to the point it became just more of the same.
 
Holy shit.

There is a small part of me that agrees with Peter's rant.

However, having had to go down on an almost 400 lb man as part of my wifely duties, I can certainly say, his end of the bargain was a whole lot better.
 
Third World or not, this f*cking counts.
 
Believe it or not, this guy is actually a Superhero named Melvin...
 
...and now reprising the role of unfunny former reg and all-around misogynist BleethLVR995 is "Peter"...
 
Damn, Peter, tell us how you really feel lol don't hold anything back
 
Naughty nurses with Euro-Gomers.
 
I've been to Lithuania, I have lots of family there, and during my month long visit I saw this kind of thing so often I became desensitized to it. I can corroborate the earlier statement that Eastern Europe is rife with hotts. Poland, Lithuania, the Czech Republic, all have the kind of hottie suckle thigh that, like a beautiful flower thriving in defiance of an arid, unfertile landscape have blossomed in the face of decades of Stalinist repression and heavy vodka abuse. But the guys on the other hand, while not quite douchebags (no ostentatious displays of $1200 Ed Hardy caps), are a little fashion challenged. Black socks with sandals and shorts are almost de rigueur. Even more comical is the punk / metal "scene". In the capital city of Vilnius I saw one guy with a mohawk and a jean jacket which had the phrase WELCOME TO THE HELL stenciled on the back of it. The more I think about it, the more I want to go back.
 
p.s. their names are not Pavel and Svetlana, but Vilija and Marius, I can almost guarantee it.
 
Hilarious Peter!

That's what pickup training, RePHresh, and Cohabitation Agreements were made for.
 
Leonide Breshnev: The College Years
 
Danm! I'd let nurse Hot take my temperature with a 8" dildo if I could smell her panties.
 
What the hells going on here a nurse a classic car and some fucktard that looks like a mutant

Fuck Lithuania
 
There's a gal and a guy in that photo? I was too busy starin' at the pinnacle of Soviet engineering! Yessir, three cylinders of rock 'em, sock 'em, asphalt rippling automotive orgasm! You can almost SMELL the clutch burning from trying to contain and channel all that horsepower!

Or Peter would say it's just Svetlana's cootch.

B-B-B-Bag To The Bone
 
Note to Georgi Festrunk - Your brother called, he's having a great time, and his girlfriend finally got her birth control device from the Statue Of Liberty.

Wish you were here.

Gee LeDouche
 
He knows this is the high point of his life
 
Sucks to be you, Peter.
 
He is a member of Lithuanian parlament, realy.
 
Sometimes a man just needs to rant and get it off his chest. To those of you who showed this down-and-out brother some love, I thank you for your kind words and support. May the gods bless you with good fortune and sweet-smelling poon in the Elysian Fields of a better place.

On the other hand: Small nazi, you unpooped turd-- you're just some bitter, illiterate nobody and you're way out of your league here. If you feel the need to complain to somebody who cares, bring it up next time you're rimming your rent-an-AIDS-bum boyfriend for the hour. It's not my fault that Proposition 8 didn't pass. I'm sorry you don't like it, but don't take bring a flaming flamewar to my house.

I was married to a whore. Literally. She worked in Nevada's legal brothels. She got kicked out of one after another for dirty hustling and doing meth in the parlors, etc. I banged her, her mom, her little sister and almost her grandmother. And then one day as my wife straddled my face I found something--a fucking gum wrapper somebody shoved up her snatch at work. Never again, I told myself. Never fucking again. What does all of this mean? I don't know. Small nazi is in love with me and keeps PMing me pictures of his little prick. Dude: stop it. Now.

If women want equal rights, the least they ca do is to eliminate vaginal odor. If my next wife wants half of everything I've made and will ever make, her pussy better damn well smell and taste like ambrosia.

Fuck.
 
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