Wednesday, July 29, 2009
God Bless America
Tooly McFratterson may only be a stage-2 Clownbag, but God Bless American boobies.
I stare at them long enough and I see my own future, clouded as it is in ambiguity, existential struggle and paddling her bare bottom with coolwhip and maraschino cherries.
What's that, Ubiquitous Red Cup? Don't forget Yellow Bikini Smile Hott?
I will add an extra dollop of chocolate syrup atwixt her shoulder blades, then tussle with an angry wildebeast for her bemusement.
EDIT: Could this be Detroit Lions quarterback Matt Stafford?
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He's gonna get rocked by the Packers this year. I'm calling 10-6 for the Cheese Heads.
# posted by 
: 12:21 PM
: 12:21 PM
Well if the guy in the orange glasses isn't Matt, then the dude on the right holding the flag is doing a fairly good Jennifer-Garner-in-bikini impression.
Way to go man!
As for the other 3: ADORABLE!!!
I just want to put you in my pocket and take you home like little baby bunny rabbits. And then I show you to my Mom & Sister and they go, "Awwwwwww!"
Whadda country! Not as much "Awwwwwww!"-factor as Copenhagen, Denmark, but close.
Way to go man!
As for the other 3: ADORABLE!!!
I just want to put you in my pocket and take you home like little baby bunny rabbits. And then I show you to my Mom & Sister and they go, "Awwwwwww!"
Whadda country! Not as much "Awwwwwww!"-factor as Copenhagen, Denmark, but close.
# posted by : 12:27 PM
: 12:27 PM
WWJCVDD? (What would JCVD do 6 hours later)?
Teabag, Teabag, Teabag, draw a dick on his face, Teabag.
Teabag, Teabag, Teabag, draw a dick on his face, Teabag.
And if you can’t tell it's Mathew Stafford from Massengill’s link, this link should put any doubts to rest.
The six-year contract reportedly contains $41.7 million in guaranteed money (the most guaranteed to any player in NFL history) and carries a total value of up to $78 million.
there is nothing id like more.. than to lay out a nice 6-roper of goo string across middle-bigboobed-hotts chest...
how wonderfull that would be...
how wonderfull that would be...
I do love me some blonde polka-dot bikini hott.
I would Crip Walk through the Parliament of India, dressed only in the shriveled skins of several fetal calves, while reciting devotional versus from the Satanic Verses – culminating with my capital punishment; just for the opportunity of being reincarnated as the spayed and neutered opossum that was run over by her cousin’s moving van.
I would Crip Walk through the Parliament of India, dressed only in the shriveled skins of several fetal calves, while reciting devotional versus from the Satanic Verses – culminating with my capital punishment; just for the opportunity of being reincarnated as the spayed and neutered opossum that was run over by her cousin’s moving van.
Matt was the quarterback for my old university, UGA. Always had a humbleness about. Damn if he didn't put that signing bonus to good use. Don't let the down home smiles fool you Matt, I see $$$ signs behind their eyes.
# posted by : 12:38 PM
: 12:38 PM
@Mr. White
By golly, I think you're right!
Let it never be said that we aren't a bunch of sleuthing experts.
By golly, I think you're right!
Let it never be said that we aren't a bunch of sleuthing experts.
hi gang.
pfah here. been pretty busy as of late, so i am really sorry i haven't been around.
hey! is that Matthew Stafford?
pfah here. been pretty busy as of late, so i am really sorry i haven't been around.
hey! is that Matthew Stafford?
Also? I would love to be part of a game of human pick up sticks under a pile of those boobs and thighs.
and i'd run the Wildcat offense all night long on the blond in the middle.
i'd tackle her tight end.
i'd let her sack me.
i'd run an end-around on her.
and i'd certainly slap her on the ass after a good play.
i'd tackle her tight end.
i'd let her sack me.
i'd run an end-around on her.
and i'd certainly slap her on the ass after a good play.
well congrats Matt.
you were the number 1 selection in the NFL Draft.
and now you get to play for the worst team in the league. bwhahahahahaha......
you were the number 1 selection in the NFL Draft.
and now you get to play for the worst team in the league. bwhahahahahaha......
hey DB1...does it matter if he's the Lions QB? A douche is a douche...even a level 2.
# posted by : 12:46 PM
: 12:46 PM
I think that's Matthew Stafford in case nobody noticed.
And another thing. Did anyone noticed that the guy in the picture looks a lot like Matthew Stafford?
And another thing. Did anyone noticed that the guy in the picture looks a lot like Matthew Stafford?
Hi Pfah!
For a brief second, I almost didn’t think this was Mathew either, but I ran acrossthis pic and my mind was eased.
For a brief second, I almost didn’t think this was Mathew either, but I ran acrossthis pic and my mind was eased.
yes it is Stafford...the goofy bucktooth grin cannot be fabricated...it's original: Matt Stafford original.
sorry about the longest link in the world, but, it's totally worth it:
http://www.gridirongenerals.com/2009/02/ncaa-football/sec/georgia-bulldogs/matthew-stafford/matt-stafford-will-not-throw-or-bench-press-at-nfl-combine
http://www.gridirongenerals.com/2009/02/ncaa-football/sec/georgia-bulldogs/matthew-stafford/matt-stafford-will-not-throw-or-bench-press-at-nfl-combine
pfah! We missed you! And by missed I mean you missed Crucial Head, DarkSock, and BVG playing tiddlywinks on Medusa's backside while Mr. White watched from a tiny hole in his locked trunk in the corner.
Why is everyone commenting on Matt Stafford?
Is it me or does the girl in the middle of Yellow Bikini Hott & "Holy shit that's a great set of cans" in the purple bikini Hott" look non nonplussed that her ubiquitous red cup his half empty? I'm just saying
Is it me or does the girl in the middle of Yellow Bikini Hott & "Holy shit that's a great set of cans" in the purple bikini Hott" look non nonplussed that her ubiquitous red cup his half empty? I'm just saying
aaaaand, one more:
http://renomahe.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/matthew-stafford-2.jpg
it would seem there is a recurring theme going on here.
http://renomahe.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/matthew-stafford-2.jpg
it would seem there is a recurring theme going on here.
also, this is surprising:
http://www.nflteamhistory.com/nfl_teams/detroit_lions/cheerleaders.html
no wonder they are so awful
http://www.nflteamhistory.com/nfl_teams/detroit_lions/cheerleaders.html
no wonder they are so awful
# posted by : 1:02 PM
: 1:02 PM
Ohhhh! THAT Matt Stafford
I thought it was this Matt Stafford:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_CezbgHDlN3A/SUAXQv50txI/AAAAAAAADY8/ZhuelvQIdVM/s400/knowshon-moreno-matt-stafford.jpg
I thought it was this Matt Stafford:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_CezbgHDlN3A/SUAXQv50txI/AAAAAAAADY8/ZhuelvQIdVM/s400/knowshon-moreno-matt-stafford.jpg
# posted by : 1:06 PM
: 1:06 PM
The blog with this picture was posted on Fark.com a week or so ago.
That is Matt Stafford
http://awesome.ly/2009/07/man-of-the-hour-matt-stafford-quarterback-detroit-lions/
That is Matt Stafford
http://awesome.ly/2009/07/man-of-the-hour-matt-stafford-quarterback-detroit-lions/
# posted by : 1:08 PM
: 1:08 PM
i just found a picture of the Detroit Lions Cheerleading Squad:
http://media.photobucket.com/image/fat%20girls/amledoux/fat-girls-in-bikinis.jpg
http://media.photobucket.com/image/fat%20girls/amledoux/fat-girls-in-bikinis.jpg
Is this the same guy who goes by the name of Mathew Staff Hard at the AVN Awards show?
# posted by : 1:09 PM
: 1:09 PM
Could this be Detroit Lions quarterback Matt Stafford?
In which case they're all hookers, strippers, or cheerleaders.
In which case they're all hookers, strippers, or cheerleaders.
Designer sunglasses...check.
Hat worn at 78 degree tilt...check.
I say douche. No pass --
Hey, is that Matt Stafford?
Hat worn at 78 degree tilt...check.
I say douche. No pass --
Hey, is that Matt Stafford?
# posted by : 1:14 PM
: 1:14 PM
Hello everyone.
Pfah wanted me to let you know that we're going to win 3 games this upcoming season, and the Seattle Seahawks will win the NFC West.
That is all.
Pfah wanted me to let you know that we're going to win 3 games this upcoming season, and the Seattle Seahawks will win the NFC West.
That is all.
# posted by : 1:18 PM
: 1:18 PM
@Mr. White,
Excellent point. I would also like to point out that this is the type of boat that Mathew Stafford and these hotts are on.
For the record, I rescind my previous assertion of this being Predator 'Bag.
Excellent point. I would also like to point out that this is the type of boat that Mathew Stafford and these hotts are on.
For the record, I rescind my previous assertion of this being Predator 'Bag.
# posted by : 1:23 PM
: 1:23 PM
One of these kids is not like the others...
I love you clueless blonde who is completely oblivious to the camera and entranced in deep meaningful conversation on 29 dimensions of compatibility with her URC.
I love you clueless blonde who is completely oblivious to the camera and entranced in deep meaningful conversation on 29 dimensions of compatibility with her URC.
Hey guys, it's the real me this time. I think that's me in the pics, too.
Oh, I changed my name because it's now what they'll be saying after I bang all those hotties.
Oh, I changed my name because it's now what they'll be saying after I bang all those hotties.
# posted by : 1:33 PM
: 1:33 PM
Poor Detroit. If this economy hasn't hurt them enough, they know have a douchebag of epic proportions representing their football team.
Good Bless America. God Bless gaudy high speed yachts built for men with small penises, too (for they attract blonde pixie goddesses)!
# posted by : 1:36 PM
: 1:36 PM
Wait a minute...isn't that the rotting corpse of the 27th President of the United States, Howard Taft?
The hott in the purple-kini is named June...because she is busting out all over...and because she makes my pants bust out all over.
# posted by : 1:52 PM
: 1:52 PM
He's a big fat douche, not the hott.
...just wanted to get that out of my system.
...just wanted to get that out of my system.
# posted by : 1:56 PM
: 1:56 PM
While trying to count the number of polka-dots on middle hot's top I glanced over and...."holy shit is that Matt Stafford?"
# posted by : 2:11 PM
: 2:11 PM
i am amused/disgusted by the wasted blonde who can't get it together to look at the camera.
um...hey, is that matt stafford?
um...hey, is that matt stafford?
Matthew Stafford does to orange sunglasses what hott in polka dot bikini does to boobies: grins at matched mirror-image pair.
*Walks in with bags of groceries* "Oh, hey, guys what's up, I got some shrimp for later and I thought we could--HEY, IS THAT MATTHEW STAFFORD?" *drops bags of groceries, audible sound of eggs cracking as they hit the tile.
Actually, I have no fucking idea who this guy is. I'm too absorbed in porn to bother with sports.
Um...Croosh? I hate to ask a dumb question, but there is a joke behind the game pics you're posting, and I don't seem to be in on it. Damn that gang-bang film fest I hosted last week!!!
Actually, I have no fucking idea who this guy is. I'm too absorbed in porn to bother with sports.
Um...Croosh? I hate to ask a dumb question, but there is a joke behind the game pics you're posting, and I don't seem to be in on it. Damn that gang-bang film fest I hosted last week!!!
Matthew Stafford must use leeches for limb injury therapy because he's got lots of suckers all gathered' round, just in case.
Holy crap, I think that's Matt Stafford. I can't believe you guys missed that!
Et tu @ 1:00... she does look a bit confused, doesn't she?
Et tu @ 1:00... she does look a bit confused, doesn't she?
# posted by : 3:27 PM
: 3:27 PM
Not so fast with the not-a-douche pass, gang ...
http://assets.espn.go.com/media/motion/2009/0717/COM_090717_StaffordAXE.jpg
http://assets.espn.go.com/media/motion/2009/0717/COM_090717_StaffordAXE.jpg
# posted by : 3:37 PM
: 3:37 PM
Yeah for purple bikini. Terrific melons.
And by "terrific," I mean, "Will you marry me?"
And by "terrific," I mean, "Will you marry me?"
# posted by : 4:00 PM
: 4:00 PM
Purple bikini is such Iowa-corn-fed hotness. I would buy a barn for her just so we could roll in the hay.
And I bet her areolae are as big as silver dollars.
Hey, is that Matt Stafford?
And I bet her areolae are as big as silver dollars.
Hey, is that Matt Stafford?
# posted by : 5:22 PM
: 5:22 PM
@Douchimus Prime: you figured me out. it IS me! in fact, it's been me in the last 200 pics. it's been me leaving EVERY comment on this and every other thread on this site. i'm glinty, bcs, plinky's mom, and i'm the guy that samurai scrote consults when he can't decide between wiping his ass with the skin of a dead hooker or with his own diamond-studded, cashmere toupee. i'm ed hardy, von dutch, vin douchal, and eddie van halen. i'm colt curtis' lawyer. i'm hairy belafonte's drug counselor. i'm the wheelbarrow. i'm p-doody's tattoo artist. i'm the inventor of the brohawk. i'm the reason all your pic will be deleted. i'm fung's wingman. i'm cro 'bagnon's trainer. i'm bucky's hat tilter. i'm the bud light tiki. i'm the URC. i'm the douche with the cigar, frozen in the middle of the deck. i'm the reason your mother cries at night. i'm YOU.
Yes, it is Matthew Stafford for all you inquiring minds. #1 NFL Draft pick, Ex-UGA QB and usually not-a-douche. I'm guessing one of the Hotts turned his Detroit Lions cap sideways. I'd turn it inside out for a piece of that action. Go Dawgs!
no wait. god is only supposed to bless boobies.
douchebags (such as and especially Matt Stanford) and auto industries whimpering for more government handouts are supposed to be anally stabbed by Satan's pitchfork.
douchebags (such as and especially Matt Stanford) and auto industries whimpering for more government handouts are supposed to be anally stabbed by Satan's pitchfork.
no, that's not matt damon. that's just a lame joke.
kind of like repeating matt stafford's name over an over.
don't blame me, i'm just the ombudsmen.
kind of like repeating matt stafford's name over an over.
don't blame me, i'm just the ombudsmen.
# posted by : 9:25 PM
: 9:25 PM
Err... why are you people focusing on the dude (whoever the fuck he is) when you have incredibly luscious baby feeders sticking out of the screen?
Are you all gay? Or are you all follow-the-flock douchebags?
Are you all gay? Or are you all follow-the-flock douchebags?
# posted by : 11:15 PM
: 11:15 PM
They're all a bunch of gay pervs ignoring the female form in praise of the male idiocy instead, lost in a blown-up thread.
Sort of like Samurai Scrote, but a lot less so, a whole lot less so.
Sort of like Samurai Scrote, but a lot less so, a whole lot less so.
i would ID them before insertion. but jesus christ the purple jubblies are glorious. and i imagine very very very expensive.
# posted by : 8:38 AM
: 8:38 AM
Hey, did anyone else notice that Matt Stafford is in this pic? That's what I keep reading only every time I look at the pic I seem to stare at something(s) else.
First he's signed by the worst pro sports franchise on Earth...Then he makes HCWB.Welcome to the rest of your life Matt Stafford.(ouch)
Mark Sanchez has to feeling a lot better about his situation before they even take a snap.
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Mark Sanchez has to feeling a lot better about his situation before they even take a snap.
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