"Facebag" obviously parties with HJJB&D.....
 

HJBB&D*

Sorry about that - it's been too long since he made an appearance, I guess.
 

"This weekend, when I lose the hangover, I'll be moving Bucky's Kathy Hott to her well earned place in the Hall of Hott, and bumping Cheeto Man straight to the Closet of Poo."



DB1, a humble request:

While I fully approve of both gestures, I'll ask that you also move said Closet of Poo from its current location: nestled between the loveliness of the Hall of Hott and Ass Pear LaPlante's pics. I think it should be beneath the Hall of Scrote.

Just an idea.
 

Smoot vs. the 'Stachebagger in the weekly?! ...damn that's a tough one.
 

Monkeyface
 

Ha!

Facebag only has 210 friends.
 

**clicks on**



I love Ass Pear.



**clicks off**
 

I would like to Poteetweet in Ass Pear.
 

Is the ass pear douche in yellow rubbing one out?

Not that I'm not.
 

Does Closet of Poo status exempt the Cheeto Man from participating in the Weekly? I was greatly anticipating the match-up between the Cheeto Man and Smoot. While Smoot is the perfect specimen of douchosity, the Cheeto Man is a creature quite unlike anything I have ever seen. It would be like Batman vs. the Joker, except, you know, douchey. And if Smoot cannot overcome the Cheeto Man in a fair election, then I submit that he is unworthy.
 

Why is Gollum standing in the subway talking to people from Connecticut?
 

this weeks links were great. facebag should die. no one wants to share their sex toys with him.
 

the wedding ceremony is great. it gets a nottadouche pass. i laughed, which actually doesn't say much, but still.
 

Here's my mathematical proof of why the wedding bags are, indeed, bags:

Dancing during wedding ceremony = not douchey, per se, unless one of the zeros of the zeta function is off the critical line

Chris Brown = violent bag, and interestingly, f(Chris Brown) is a zero of the zeta function that is OFF the critical line (see where this is going?)

Dancing during wedding ceremony to a Chris Brown song = douchebag wedding. And the limit approaches infinity, bitches.
 

Facebag. Such wisdom. I wonder if knows that "rock out with your cockout" is a euphemism for strap-on play? Probably does.

A refreshing drink of asspear today!

What was with that blog talking about DB1's book? Is there a nation on Earth named Umläut? Shurstääfurdähurdää, bitches!

Fuck, Stashbagger! Pull up your pants! What are you, 40? You're pushing Oldbag status.
 

"I don't want him to bite the labrador on his penis!"

Wow lady. Put it down or keep it in a cage, a dog repeatedly biting your genitals is a sign. You're the reason why I'm always ready to boot another dog in the face when I'm running my dog.
 

I second Anon @ 1:52's contention. A three-way rumble between Smoot, the 'Stachebagger, and the Cheeto Man would be legendary. The Cheeto Man's classification as a gaybag should not disqualify him. For if it is true that douchebaggery extends beyond all racial, cultural, religious, and sometimes even gender divisions, then it must also be applicable to all sexual orientations. Also, while I agree wholeheartedly with the Cheeto Man's promotion to the Closet of Poo, should he emerge victorious in the Weekly and then move on to claim the Monthly, then perhaps a dual citizenship in the Hall of Scrote may be in order.
 

I'm surprised Facebag actually has friends.


Best Ass Pear yet, DB1. Well done!
 

oh, and that wedding entrance? Funny, but I'm betting on 4 years tops.
 

'Stachebag looks like a Darryl to me.
 

really the FACEBAG is single? with a listed religion nazi? reminds me of the idiot "bangs bitches and drinks." real class
 

I've watched that wedding video now I dunno how many times and it occurs to me liturgical dance has now set a new standard. It's not douche-bag at all. It was there all along. Besides, I went to a wedding at least 20 years ago where the new bride and groom danced together coming back down the aisle after their vows, doing hop-skips etc in a church. It was fun and they are still together.
 

What a week!

I am about to begin my journey home in anxious anticipation of my torrid affair with the sexiest redhead this side of Christina Hendricks. No,no, no, it’s not my wife… she’s a brunette as most of you well know. No, this affair stems from my salivary needs for numbness and her willingness to give.

The red head I speak of goes by one name alone: Makers Mark. And although the carpets don’t perfectly match the curtains, she certainly delivers the fire down below.

In the event that she delivers my desired fulfillment, I have a feeling I may be posting some discombobulating comments later this eve. In the alternate event that I’ve passed out too soon, have a great weekend all you filthy fwappers!

Cheers!
 

".....I have a feeling I may be posting some discombobulating comments later this eve."

Can we just call you "Bob"? It feels as if I'm watching the back yard scene from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure as they introduce the historical figures to hott Missy.....I mean "Mom":

".....Bob Crucial Head.....So-crates DarkSock.....Wheezer the Kid.....Medusa of Arc....."
 

Hampton Bag definitely deserves his own marquee spot. Sweater vest over Rugby shirt topped off with sideways smirk on goose bloated face.....
 

I like TheDarkSock comment on the Buscemi link.... when you're brave 'Sock, try a porcupine!
 

@Crucial
"The red head I speak of goes by one name alone: Makers Mark. And although the carpets don’t perfectly match the curtains, she certainly delivers the fire down below."

I don't know how well my Mexican bathtub mescal fits into your frame of reference, but the carpet has been torn up and the bare concrete exposed.
 

In case you all were wondering what Crucial and I do for a living, and I'm sure you weren't, here's what we don't do:
 

Please keep Stachebag out of natural light.

Why is he wearing 2 pairs of drawstring pants?

He has manboobs.
 

@ Creature:

Horses are no picnic; it ain't exactly safe up on that stool. Goats are safest; you just put their little hind legs down your boot legs. Lesson learned: put on soccer shin guards before you get going good.


Huzzah to today's ass pear. And by huzzah I mean hand lotion.
 

Closet of Poo...BWAAAHHAHAAAA!!!


Take away the Hamptonsbags' money and they're on the boardwalk with Bud Light totem poles. They're just drunken, self-unaware assholes with cash.

That damn little dog video...I don't condone animal cruelty. But I certainly support putting animals down when they're clearly so out of control and aggressive. A grown man gets a torn-up ankle. A small child gets a missing ear, or fingers or an eye. Put that fucking thing to sleep before it maims someone for life. And kick that fat fuck in her dogsnatch for keeping a menace to society as a pet.

Facebag....Ironic that he claims to be a nazi but he's dressed like a rapper. Hm...I don't imagine that would fly too well at the ANP headquarters.....
 

"In my vagina two times he bites me!"

I can only construe this, sadly, as meaning that Plinky has passed away and returned as a small fucked up little doggy.
 

...as for Stachebagger, egads, what a creepy-looking fucker. Even sans dirty sanchez-streak he'd still look like a goof. Lobster abs with broken balloon titties. For shame, for shame...ten thousand crunches ain't worth a shit if you don't get some bench-presses in there. Keeps your flapjacks from drooping over the abs, dummy.
 

Medusa, why'd you change your pic on your profile? Just figured out how fucking ugly you actually are? Egads!!!
 

@'Sock, 4:04 p.m. -

I call bullshit - you know this is what you do.

Except yours have bigger boobies.
 

'Stachebagger has an outstanding example of the Kewpie-doll hairdo.

'Stachebagger has collapsed inflated moobs.

'Stachebagger likes everything concentrated, chicks and tatts, in one place: namely, the upper right arm.

'Stachebagger is the secret tall brother of actor William Macy.
 

'Stachebagger was always leaning into the most convenient boobies at hand in order to make up for the ones he lost, which were deflated in last year's stock market flap.
 

@Doucheminster,

Ah yes, my old friend Mescal. I prefer Pachuga Del Maguey. Nothing wrong with the 'bare down there.'

@DarkSock

**pointing and smiling**
 

@ Anon @ 4:16

My avatar is a self-portrait.

I'd ask if YOU can hand-paint your own avatar, but you're not even smart enough to make a Blogger account.

@ Troy Tempest--I haven't seen you on here today, I assume Mrs. Tempest and Little Tempestina are treating you to a lovely night on the town. May your birthday be marvelous and may the termites stay away from your noggin for one more year.
 

@ Darksock 4:04

BWAAAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

...and at the same time, I feel a little betrayed by television yet again.
 

Raquel is still not in HOH. This is a crime against the very fabric of our being. Are we just waiting until we crown her globes in December? I don't know.

I would give Raquel's glorious mounds more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
 

Raquel is still not in HOH. This is a crime against the very fabric of our being. Are we just waiting until we crown her globes in December? I don't know.

I would give Raquel's glorious mounds more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
 

At least you're putting yourself out there Medusa, not like us anonymous little shites.

God forbid anyone here find out my true identity or you would come find me in my Bulgarian villa.
 

If I got a little misty watching the Wedding Entrance Dance, does that make me douchey?
 

I'm not saying I DID, I'm sayin' IF...


*sniff*
 

Medusa 1, Anon Troll -20
 

Facebag watches the Chappelle Show? How ironic!
 

Chick on left in Stachebag photo....exposing nice suckle thigh.
 

Wow, what a week. I enter the weekend hoping to destroy those brain cells that have collected the memories associated with said week. Keeping of course Ass Pear, and Seve Buscemi respectively.

...also I 'bate to Medusas hand painted avatar every night as though it were a real person.
 

judging by the behavior exhibited on this site I figured Architects humped their fists all day... now just toss in goat fucking & whiskey swilling... hence the goofy smile & the point is to the top shelf booze
 

you fuckahs are funny though
 

I'm with JCvD... Gorgon women make me hot!
 

That douchebag in the picture is smug and UGLY.

Oh, and I see you Chelsea hott, with the coy pose, smiling over the tatt of poo.

And Portia hott, sticking your nice rack out in the cue black dress. I'd trade you for a mere whiff of Chelsea's deodorant stick.
 

Sail on by. Your time has come to shine.
 

@ Walrus Whisker

I think you got that one backwards...

The troll is a poor buttonpusher.
 

@ Crucial

I ripped the head off that red head too & blguhhuggauhhudduggughsugd.. yeah!


& still walkin'... into walls!
 

yeeeehawwwwhyeeeeaaah!
 

if adam corolla ever does a show advising folks experimenting with beastiality, no doubt darksock can be the dr drew of it.

as far as the thunder thigh brunette in the picture...hell i could bang her like i was 25 and wake n bakin on my mid week day off again...

"i don't want him to bite the labrador on his penis" maybe its her tone of voice, but to me that is the funniest thing i have heard all week.
 

Whisky and Lust

Each glass has a cube, but they are distinct
As grain is fermented, lust has eyes wide open for its games
As barley is malted, lust is the pale straw as it turns mahogany
As oak barrels speak the truth, lust can just lay silent – pleasuring in tasty smoked flavor
Whisky need not be beautiful but lust makes it a requisite
Oh, thou might’st abstain, but lust cannot
By its nature it thrives in lonely eve’s

Whiskey is pure but lust goes to mud in wildest wrestling for what it desires
I can imbibe most merrily without lust
But she may not like it after all
Still, I sip heartily and lust after you

And in you
Whisky and lust shall
Hold hands, kiss tight, hiss all the night
Whisky and lust
The two becoming one
To both of us

So this union may last
This communion of souls



-Crucial Aloysius Head Sr., Esq., Dr., AIA
 

Medusa-

Thank you for your Bday greetings.

Right now it is almst 2 AM and I am finally home and I am completely fucking hammered, thanks to my neighbours who had the Tempest clan over for food and drinks and when the kids and wives went to sleep we broke out the bottle of 15 year old Balvenie single malt scotch and listened to creaky old progRock on a KICK ASS stereo system. When it devolved to Senor Coconut playing Meringue or salsa covers of Yellow Magic Orchestra (A Japanese disco band from the 1980s) it was time to go home.

I have been either INSANELY busy or doing nothing, which is why my presence here has been so erratic.

I appreciate you thinking of me, more than you know.
 

(***spit take***!!!) That fucking wedding dance is HERE too? COCK!!! Yes, yes, yes we're all very impressed by the novelty of white people enjoying a sacrament enough to dance, but if this video ambushes me one more time I'm going to have to download 3 gigs of Asian teen dwarf crush porn just to keep it from staining my eyes. GLAAGHHK!!
 

and happy birthday, Troy.
 

Gotdammit if the Baron don't swing for the bleachers with each at-bat.

I tried for at least twenty minutes to come up with an adequate comment about that wedding video, and somehow, 'crush porn' never rung the correct bell in my miniscule brain.

You sir, are a master with whom I will never debate.










... at least not in a gay way.
 

... does it still count as gay if I typed my last comment with remnants of lotion on my hands?
 

wedding video was mint. i even cried a bit (humour, embarrassment and happiness), must be the hangover.

oh btw mr. tempest, yellow magic orchestra where class...one of those bands i'd forgotten existed.
 

*were
 

i think Facebag is more like Chris Brown. not a douchebag. an asshole, or whatever you want to call someone that needs to be rendered quadriplegic.
 

in related news, Cheeto Man may not have the chops to mug some top notch hotts, but he certainly has the poo. or, to put it in another way, Bucky may not have the poo, but he certainly mugs some top notch hotts.

err that was... highly discombobulating.
 

@ croosh 12:57

it does if you were fwapping to "Forever."
 

thunderthigh brunette?? really??? if you mean she'd have you quaking in between them after you bust a nut in her, then yeah. otherwise, she's not even close to being "thick."
 

keep dreaming fat boys you keep cryin we keep mobbin on that ass

you just be glad somebody sends in they goodtime snaps cuz a picture its the only piece os ass you gettin
 

^if that's the way you talk, you're dumber than you look
 

"mobbing on that ass"
Anyone else getting an image of flies with 'bag heads buzzing around a pear? Taking the Chinese army approach - if enough of them bundle the hott then maybe one will get lucky. And she won't know which one to file charges against afterwards. DNA analysis won't help because like other strains of pathogenic bacteria douchebags regularly engage in horizontal transfer of DNA, meaning that the best you can do is identify the approximate strain of choad from its sticky leave-behinds.
 

"Anyone else getting an image of flies with 'bag heads buzzing around a pear?"

I was picturing flies buzzing their usual target: a pile of poo. And by poo, I mean themselves.

Maybe that's why douchebags are always pursing their lips: they don't like the stench either.
 

1. happy bday, troy tempest.

2. what a week full of 'bags. the repeated images of smoot, stachebagger and the seemingly ever-present wedding vid are not easy on the eyes. fortunately we have bleach baller's babes' boobies to help prevent poo from staining the brain.
 

Speaking of the hcwdb wedding, looks like the divorce video is already up. Me likey the female attorney leg kicks.
 

Charming. White suburbanites speaking ghetto ebonics.
 

anon 624 you non-descript people are so ultra-sensitive, i happen to be an incessant admirer of thick legged women...that she is so petite up top just makes me want her to crush my head with her velvet vice...i love a woman who can squeeze shut a fire hydrant...
 

@ Mr. White 10:40

BWAAAHAHAHA!!!! Aaah, if divorce hearings were that exuberant, I'd do it every year. Especially if I got to see black-panty high-kicks like that.
 

@medusa

You call the Leggy Legal Team--I will prepare the paperwork for our wedding and divorce, simultaneously. Let the Playpen be festooned with rubber in preparation!

Well, more rubber.
 

@medusa

I'm also working on the music playlist. I'm thinking Chris Brown (natch), Ike Turner, and Rick James, to name just a few.

And I'm going to Autotune the bejesus out of all of it.
 

I appreciated the Vonnegut reference.
 

unreal Mr. White.... thank you!
 

Between the wedding video and the divorce video I like to visit the UTube classics, such as coloratura Sumi Jo, countertenor(squozed balls) Andreas Scholl, and Tiny Tim.

Kind of a calm between dance storms.

A reminder that there is heaven on earth in spite of douchery.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

like yall make fun of me talking streets but listen to your dum asses talking about chinese flys an DNA yall stupid or high or something f'show get help
 

'Stachebagger makes a comfortable living as a stand-in for gay porn "300" remakes.
 

Congrats f'real yall. I want to mock you but I am unable to. Your post already does that so well that it has to be a piece of beautifully crafted satire. Are you meant to be a replacement for FLYTEETH? Instead of tarmal and slapwhoars the next unintelligible poster here will be a parody of a bad rap video. One of those youtube specials that probably features a genuine gangsta from Wilthamstow-on-Thames.
 

WHO INVOKES MY FUCEN NAME? I AWAKE, SHAPLWOSRS!
 

Hey stachebagger, as a meat head who loathes the fact that douchebags have attached themselves to my favorite hobby, here's a piece of advice:

Your fucking deflated ill shaped chest grosses the shit out of me. They are call "inclined presses," look 'em up dumb shit.
 

I think that might actually be Finland and not Tralfamador but...no, same thing.
 

@ freal yall

"but yall make fun of me talking streets..." What a sad indictment on the american education system. Get a dictionary retard. That's D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y. But you probably couldn't read it anyway, so try using spellcheck. That's S-P-E-L-L-C-H-E-C-K. Christ, no-one get me a gun.