Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Friday Haiku

Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday Haiku

Choads 'n hott do shots,
Ubiquitous Red Cups know,
Fratbags smell like poo.

Second Amendment
Be damned; these here guns should be
outlawed and taken.

- Douche Wayne

today will be nuts.
I don't even know this chick.
we should light our farts.

-- Mr. Choad's Wild Ride

Mary Louise P.
Retires from the show "Weeds"
Now on show called "Taints"

- Vin Douchal

Hott is very hott.
Boobies like tangy lemons.
They need my sucklage.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

what chances does a
lonely red cup, for the love
of a surfer chick

- euripidouche

# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:07 AM

Comments:

That girl's elite drinking skills are wasted on those bums. She needs to hook up with a real alcoholic, not pretend ones.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:11 AM

Second Amendment
Be damned; these here guns should be
outlawed and taken.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:11 AM

First, I like red cup
one arm heimlich on hot chick
bros grunt approval

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:13 AM

By now, they're so drunk
Hands no longer work, must find
other ways to swill.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:13 AM

Mating Ritual
Gorillus Scrotbagicus
Too horrid to watch.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:13 AM

relax little bro,
hands on hat. you aren't the tard
in this one. rainman

# posted by

M_Shale : 7:13 AM

Douchebags devolving
Losing opposable thumbs
Still grasp URC’s.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:14 AM

Weird muscle-making game rule
Loser hat-touchin douche = tool
yellow bikini matches chair

# posted by

Douche Assassin : 7:15 AM

She's so wasted that
She put backless shirt on wrong
Frat choads don't notice

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:15 AM

Yellow-breasted bleeth
chosen by pack's alpha-male;
douchlings to follow.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:15 AM

Little do they know
Crab adjusts hat with pincers
Before attacking.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:16 AM

After you're done with
Your new drinking maneuver
Please punch selves in face

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:16 AM

Joey is horny
But also thirsty--tries to
combine two pursuits

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:17 AM

Hat on backwards, check
Sunglasses on hat, check check
Giant watch seals deal.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:17 AM

Bleeth opens her fist
Natty Ice sprouts forth - Voila!
Indoor 'Bag Fountain.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:18 AM

He pees in her butt
For hours--must refuel in
flight to break record.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:18 AM

Fuckface is cheating.
Using his hand, what's the point?
Hott knows how it's done.

Hott is very hott.
Boobies like tangy lemons.
They need my sucklage.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:19 AM

Black hat 'bag awaits
Lubed up attachement behind
Caboose for this train.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:20 AM

Hotel maid curses
No solvent strong enough for
The stench of armpits

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:20 AM

ecstacy, bud light
and muscle relaxers don't
mix, run red cup run

# posted by

M_Shale : 7:21 AM

Drink with elbow crux -
Survival of the fittest?
Darwin rolls in grave.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:22 AM

Mary Louise P.
Retires from the show "Weeds"
Now on show called "Taints"

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:23 AM

"No hands" drinking game
White hat hopes someone will use
His tiny pants spout

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:24 AM

The joke is on them
White hat covered URCs
With superglue, bros!

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:25 AM

Scary Movie X
Revenge of the URC
Stars Ana Faris.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:26 AM

Yellow, green and red
Grunts while swallowing
Outfart's the Douches

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:26 AM

Mark squeezes Tanya
Tries to make her shart, cracks his
bros up ev'ry time.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:27 AM

Choad read on website:
"Squeeze your chick, then no preggers."
Tragedy ensues.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:28 AM

Male co-stars line up
For mega gang bang - starring
Young Anal Faris.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:29 AM

Douchebags acting cool
Cannot hide that they are just
Protein shake meatheads

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:31 AM

Summer break rocks bro
I love beer in the morning
we should tag team Ann

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:31 AM

Party game: All must drink
When young Cheryl gets ass-rammed.
Many people die.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:31 AM

'Bag, Bleeth and two cups
Each filled with tan hat's refuse
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:33 AM

Bukake showdown
Between Big Lance and Julie
Lance guzzles for win

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:33 AM

I want some hot ass.
Why does Smitty score with sluts?
Oh well, my hat's white.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:34 AM

taking haiku from thomas pynchon

what chances does a
lonely red cup, for the love
of a surfer chick

humbert humbert bags
coming on so big and sick?
professor gun show

for me, my baby
was a woman for him she's
just another nymphette

ok...i added professor gun show...

# posted by

M_Shale : 7:35 AM

Stunt drinking moves:
Helps spice things up when drinking
problem gets boring.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:36 AM

euripdouche, good stuff
But Lolita's Nabokov,
not Thomas Pynchon.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:37 AM

Can't stop thinking that
The asshole in the back is
An unwanted pest

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:39 AM

Die Choad Die
Which Is German For
The Choad The

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:40 AM

You're at a party
And everyone's pits are shaved.
Hello, Jersey Shore.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:41 AM

If more pics surface
Innovative maneuver
Nominee ‘09?

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:41 AM

Keg dregs and cig butts
litter Sully's parents' house
Drinking the sun up.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:41 AM

Who are these douchebags?
One has his arm around me.
beer and pills are fun.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:41 AM

Interesting fact:
This is the sobriety
test in South Jersey.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:42 AM

Hey, nice try, Anon
You're a credit to all your
Moronic brethren

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:43 AM

Later, party guests
fill toilets with Vicodin
and Grey Goose combo.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:43 AM

Fratbags watched Popeye
Thought beer is like spinach
Made Olive-oil's butt hurt

# posted by

HusslinHoosier : 7:44 AM

today will be nuts.
I don't even know this chick.
we should light our farts.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:45 AM

Must be finals week.
I so fucking hate fratbags.
Die fucking fratbags.

AV

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:46 AM

After the party
Much lube will be leaking from
Swollen, red assholes.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:46 AM

Mona's shirt stretched out
'Cuz Joe's shlong got stuck in neck
hole on way to ass

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:47 AM

Time for my breakfast
Creativity lacking
Must be lack of booze.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:49 AM

@crucial

It's all fun and games
Until sloe gin hits anal
fissures--then screaming.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:50 AM

two fratbags, one hot,
two ubiqiutous red cups.
Not two girls one cup.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:50 AM

Her daddy issues
They are on full display here
She carries his spawn.

# posted by

Hong Kong Douchey : 7:50 AM

Making splatter art.
beer, lube and hard ass ramming.
Like Jackon Pollock.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:53 AM

mr. white its true
but inspired by nabokov
pynchon wrote said work

# posted by

M_Shale : 8:01 AM

Yay! I love page one
Validates my whole weekend
Beer makes good breakfast

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 8:12 AM

euripdouche, cool fact
What's name/source of Pynchon stuff?
I'm a fan of his.

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:14 AM

Hott, take off your top
Jersey junior college douche:
Play with your biceps

# posted by

Jeremy Houska : 8:20 AM

I missed the haikus!
was at the lawyer's office
law is confusing

Looking to import
stud from Venice, Italy
so much paperwork

but he laughs so hard
at American guidos
"what de fuck?" he asks

I explained to him
and now he knows new English
"Fucking Doosh-baggie!"

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 8:21 AM

@ Mr. White and Euripidouche

My favorite work
by Pynchon: plays immigrent
living with cousin.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 8:28 AM

Multitasking chick.
One arm beer, other his cock.
My second wifey?

# posted by

End the Haberdouchery : 8:35 AM

Threesome?
Fisting?
Not what she had in mind

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:51 AM

Pynchon also great
playing coked-out exec
douche in True Romance.

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 8:52 AM

If lemon-breated
bleeth is the 'fist-er' then who
is lucky 'fist-ee'?

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 8:53 AM

*breasted*

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 8:54 AM

the crying of lot
forty-nine, serge singer of
paranoids, sings said.

# posted by

M_Shale : 8:56 AM

Fratbag games require
novel drink skills. How about
novel suicides?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:08 AM

These here lemon cups
Are not as big as red cups
But where my mouth wants

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:10 AM

This backgroud douchebag
rolls sleeve to match bro, but fails.
Gestures spell turd tard.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:12 AM

Furrowed brow of frau
Suggests surprise cup content.
Her bag is clueless

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:18 AM

How about a swap
of cups? Takes us to last week
tell me I am wrong.

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/ed_farty-780980.jpg

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:23 AM

Hold on tight douchebag
Soon as that mickey kicks in
She'll never escape

# posted by

Unknown : 9:31 AM

'Bags do what they may
I think they are stupid gay
One day they will pay.

(I added rhyme because why not?)

# posted by

Don't douchebag me, bro : 9:42 AM

Douchebag-Bleeth tryouts
for Letterman Stupid Hu-
man Tricks don't "show" poo.

# posted by

WhoopingCraneLover : 11:12 AM

"Drink to me only
wi-ith thine eye-eyes and I
will lick armpit poo."

# posted by

WhoopingCraneLover : 11:15 AM

Her hidden hand holds
a third red container of
foam-head libation.

# posted by

WhoopingCraneLover : 11:22 AM

They haven't quite grasped
the mirror image arm-cup-
trick yet, but poo, YES.

# posted by

WhoopingCraneLover : 11:28 AM

Arched-arm workouts are
a great way to burn the red
cup alcohol cals.

# posted by

WhoopingCraneLover : 11:31 AM

"And this, Kimmy, is Mom
and Dad back in the day be-
fore we were married."

# posted by

WhoopingCraneLover : 11:33 AM

"Mom, I showed this to
Miss Klein and she wants it to
teach us our colors!"

# posted by

WhoopingCraneLover : 11:35 AM

The hidden vee of
mons pubis seeks echoes in
arm crooks and vee-necks.

# posted by

WhoopingCraneLover : 11:40 AM

Training never ends -
We must protect our title:
Fist n' Chug State Champs

# posted by

DarkSock : 11:47 AM

New Scat-xercise vid
Grossing out the interwebs
Called "two curls, two cups"

# posted by

DarkSock : 2:03 PM

is this a contest?
drinking without using hands,
hold on to your hats!

# posted by

ac douchey : 4:10 PM

Not feeling Haiku
Today nauseated by
URC and bags

Maybe Sudoku
Will ease my troubled stomach
Better than Maalox

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 7:42 AM

I can't help myself:
I think this pic is funny,
though the guys are choads.

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:12 PM

the bag is holding
the URC with his hand!
no fair! hott owned him.

# posted by

Steve L. : 11:30 PM

also, if fat guys
have beer bellies, can hotts have
beer boobs? drool slobber.

# posted by

Steve L. : 11:35 PM

Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday Haiku

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