Yeah, that Cheeto Man pic leaves no doubt his boyfriends' dicks are all orange, too.
 

His choker tatt says "Victorious." (rolls eyes)

You know, I would almost be happy if Smoot made a "Give peace a chance" crack before that pic was taken. That would show a sign of cleverness on his part. Cheap, yeah, but for him it would be a step up.
 

Fuck the tikki is everywhere its like douches come from all over to see it like its that fuckin black box in Mecca WTF with that?? Hopefully these hos are straping bombs on him
 

I question DB1's use of the term "Cheeto Man."
The Cheeto part I'm OK with. It's the "man" part that is confusing me.
 

I'm making that same face the tiki in the background is making. The face of angry pain.
 

Nice belt buckle! This guy just gets douchier in every iteration, from "Still Life With Wheelbarrow," through "Cactus Joes," and on his current incarnation as "Smoot." He does manage to collect the trashy hots, at least for photo ops.
 

The Cheeto man looks like a life sized plastic reconstruction, of a life sized plastic reconstruction. Orange edition, that is.
 

This is going to be a really tough weekly between this tool and cheeto man ...this level of taint is going to give my computer a virus.
 

The use of primitive symbols such as the tikki in this setting is offensive to my Native American heritage.
My mother, Floppajawia, (she who has tits like change-purse) must be rolling in her grave.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Douchedridamus:

Cheeto Man not only goes on to dominate the weeklies, but captures the Monthly as well.

For he is uberscoter as was for told by the Great Oracle of Taint.
 

Those are the best woman costumes on leg-humping miniature poodles I have ever seen. The one on the right looks like she needs some water.
 

Neptunes-The Hamptons-Long Island New York= Douche Capital of THEE World!!!
 

I object to this man on the grounds of IQWEUGFR*(&#$RO!HWEGF@*&#RFGSDJHFSD
 

The woman in the cheeto pic looks like one of Crimson Ted's

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2009/02/hcwdb-of-week-crimson-ted.html
 

Good God Man!
 

Is Cheeto Man and 2008 "winner" Millenium Bag one and the same? Maybe the orange stuff does come off. Or he can grow fungus on his head.
 

Urge to kill.....rising....
 

and somehow, this shameless desecration of the peace symbol does NOT scare children.

i guess those fucking brainless lefitst hippies ARE douchebags and / or idiots to begin with.

/end partisan rant
 

How about a 15 kiloton tactical nuke, targeted and dropped by an F-22 and guided by satellite, onto the totem pole.

That would take care of many beach scrote, all deserving the fiery nuclear hell they receive.
 

@Medusa

Happy belated b-day! Here's a flamethrower...use it well and often.
 

@ JCVD

Thank you! However, I'll trade that flamethrower for the chance to be bludgeoned half to death by the bodacious tatas in your avatar.
 

Are you sure Cheeto Man isn't really Boomhauer?
 

Happy b'day Medusa...I had no idea. I have no ridiculous tata's photo to share with you. My apologies...
 

@Anon4:59: Wow. Not quite as bad as Guido Beach, but that Neptunes place is kinda special.

Poor, poor Hamptons... tsk, tsk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7MawqzEFa4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs2RDtkhIPI&feature=fvw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvpCUUG7_LI&feature=related

Skanks and Douches of Lawn Guisland UNITE!
 

my birthday was today... but nobody gives a fuck about me.
 

Cheeto Man was scaring right-thinking adults too. Glad you took it down.
 

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Isn't this the same crab shack in Seaside Heights, NJ? Why can't global warming just take out that one area?

@ ErikW- The Tiki would survive the strike. It exists in this world and the Douche Realm simultaneously.

-Douche Bauer
 

I don't know how to contact Douchebag1 directly, but I hope this comment reaches him somehow.

I, and I think maybe millions of others, would like to know the names and life stories of the douchebags on this website. Could you perhaps periodically feature actual interviews with them?

Ask them about their goals, their hopes, their dreams, their lives. Ask them why they style their hair to resemble cockateels.

I love the pictures, but I think it's time to actually talk to some of these guys. And even talk to the girls. Ask them what their fathers did to make them think it's okay to hang out with complete jackasses.

Am I the only one who would like to see this? Please let DB1 know if you would like him to actually speak with douchebags and/or hot chicks that are portrayed so beautifully on this web-site.
 

Agreed..
 

To the last two posters: he has that show out now, so maybe you'll want to check it out.
 

"Peace-nik to the left, tongue-lick to the right.
He's stuck in the middle with poo."
 

Smoot, raging mega tool beast or victim of terrible acid spilling accident? His jeans were nearly ruined, in said accident, but still wearable, his eyes were severely damaged, hence the sweet old person with glaucoma goggles, the sleeves to his shirt burned away and I suppose the brains of these ladies were melted away because they for some reason feel the need to put their mouths near his ween.
 

@Medusa,

God dammit I knew I was forgetting something. Here (and here) are belated birthday tatas. Hopefully they'll help quell the urge to kill, though with this much scrote its hard to say if even boobies can do that.

Couldn't they have sprayed his entire body with bleach instead of just his pants? You know what, on second thought, just give me the damn bleach for my eyes. I hope his next tattoo gives him a horrible reaction and something has to be amputated, preferably he'll be stupid enough for it to be below the belt then we won't be forced to see his offspring.

Why couldn't the ancient Hawaiians have been right? Their tiki gods would have taken out trash like this.
 

The Peace Symbol, originally intended as an emblem of nuclear disarmament it morphed into a symbol of international peace before making its way onto the hats of young women in Long Island as I symbol of skanktascity. Gerald Holtom would be proud.
 

What about me??
 

I'm very disappointed that DB1 took down CheetoMan. Think about it -

Millenium Bag

Droopy McScrote

and (shudder...)

Mooby?

i mean - WTF dood?

Much less crowning Droopy winner of the Weekly that week and then SLAMMING us with Mooby? Jeepers! You think after that someone as ludicrous as CheetoMan would wound us?

LOOK at MOOBY. LOOK at MILLENIUM BAG! Keep this in perspective, buddy - we're here to explore the hellish depths of douchebaggery and caliente babes, not have Buster Bloodvessel explain the scenery on some bus tour of the outer burbs of purgatory.

If it's douchie and hottie - then LET IT STAND. We're adults. We're here to mock the bastards. Not have you shield us from them!
 

Damn, I knew i had too much hummus with my kebabs at dinner. Now look what happened? I gotta take a Smoot!
 

@ Ash 8:41

..Gay marriage is legal in Hawaii, right? 'Cause I'm finding that chick, bringing her there and you can be our best man.
 

What Troy said.



Not that I'm asking for more anal sledging.
 

Once again the tiki see's all and is appalled.
 

@Medusa

No :(. They're still trying to get it to go through. Not for any kind of rights issue mind you, nono, for the tourism. If its one thing that will get us to change our tune its hitting us in the pocketbook!
 

I wake from a perfectly pleasant dream involving fluffy baby chicks, lighter fluid, a nail gun and Pam Anderson without Hep C and what do I see mocking me from my computer? That fuckwit Smoot. The man makes me want to pistol-whip nuns. The only saving grace is that from what is visible, the hotts look too skankified for words. Tiffy, peace hat wench, is saying to Dannae: "Yes, I know it's on your tongue but I'm telling you that's an anal wart! Can I borrow your lip gloss?"
 

gawd i miss the bush twins.
 

Since Cheeto Man is obviously a gay bag, does he even count for this? If so, HOS instantly.
 

Hmmm Smoot seems to be emerging from the pack as a real contender. I first saw him as a fairly generic bag. But despite no really unique characteristics he seems to excel at the basics. This photo is a real step up for Smoot.

FUCK YOU SMOOT.
 

I just found this site...I just saw the deathtongue photos...why the FUCK is that Hott wasting valuable time with such a mega douche...can the Hott's be that gullible? The answer, hell to the yes. So I guess all I need to do is buff up, orange up, splosionhead up, frost the tips, get a star tattoo, don at least one mandana...wow I guess being a mega-douche isn't easy...Maybe I could take a class at the local YMCA.
 

Cheetoman obviously fellates penis and swallows following orgasm.
 

I giggled like a young schoolchild when I saw The Cheeto Man. I'm pretty sure he's the greatest example of "trying too hard" I've ever seen.
 

Ah yes, Smoot. The man clearly has a PHD in the Scrotal arts.
 

IM ACTUALLY VERY CLOSE TO THIS GUY AND HE IS A COLLEGE GRAD OWNS A BUSINESS THAT IS DOING AMAZING ALONG WITH OTHER VENTURES. THE TATTOO VICTORIOUS ON HIS CHEST MEANS SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO HIM HE OVER CAME ALOT OF THINGS IN LIFE (NOT TO GO INTO DETAILS). YOU DON'T KNOW THIS PERSON AT ALL AND GET A JOB AND WORK INSTEAD OF TALKING ON THE INTERNET ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE AND HOW THEY SPEND THEIR OWN FREE TIME THAT WAS WELL DESERVED. OH YEAH YOU PEOPLE ARE VERY LAME AND YOUR JOKES ARE NOT FUNNY. YOU ARE A TRUE MEANING OF WASTE OF LIFE, YOU ARE A WASTE OF LIFE AND CAN NOT DO ANYTHING JUST KILL YOURSELF BEFORE YOU BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE HAH WASTE OF LIFE HAHA
 

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I am wth the comment above, you ppl have no lives!ya's prob still love wit ya ma and dont get no pussy so ya gtta hate on these dudes and chicks!! get a fukin life or leave ya real name on hea so i can fukin rock ya face when i see ur tool ass out HA HA and if ya want a clue as to who this is here goes! BOOP! MUTHA FUKAS!!!! hi hatersssssss