Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Caption This Pic
Excuse me, Miss, would you like to see my Jelly Dong?
Take your best shot in the comments thread.
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Jonie had waited for the Jefferson High reunion to finally give Chachie the kick in the crotch he so richly deserved.
Things have really gone downhill at good ol' Jefferson High since the days of Richie, Potsie & Ralph.
Anon Gee Bee
Anon Gee Bee
# posted by 
: 10:39 AM
: 10:39 AM
after hurling a jelly dong with all of her might, karen was astounded to see that super 'bag had caught it in his teeth.
she's either running away, or having an epileptic seizure.
and i'm not sure why this douchebag has Nick Cannon's dick in his mouth.
and i'm not sure why this douchebag has Nick Cannon's dick in his mouth.
The Jefferson High field trip was marred by an incident involving a young man severing the penis of an unsuspecting tranvestite.
Tony was just drunk enough to bet Denise that she couldn't knock the cigar from his mouth with a roundhouse kick. Denise was just drunk enough to accept.
Tony won the bet, but had to drink hamburgers through straws for the next six months.
Tony won the bet, but had to drink hamburgers through straws for the next six months.
and something tells me that, not far away from where this picture was taken, stands the all-knowing scrotumpole.
Tony threatened Karen with violence so that she might run away and not smell the shit he was about to take in his shorts. The gravitation force, he thought, would push his underwear down with enough might that he would be relieved of his wedgie without the use of his hands.
His plan worked successfully except that it ruined his new Nike runners. Tony was cool with it though because Tony has a scat fetish. That's not a cigar in his mouth.
His plan worked successfully except that it ruined his new Nike runners. Tony was cool with it though because Tony has a scat fetish. That's not a cigar in his mouth.
medusa no longer wore snakes in her hair, but she could still turn a douche to stone at first glance
# posted by : 10:49 AM
: 10:49 AM
"no, no Johnny. bend your knees like this. you're gonna have to loosen up if you want to revile people with the douche dance"
# posted by : 10:50 AM
: 10:50 AM
The New Jersey Ballet's rendition of Swan Lake took some liberties when adapting it to modern times...
# posted by : 10:51 AM
: 10:51 AM
"can you still smell it now? You would think you couldn't smell it from way over there and with that cigar in your mouth, but I guess my skank stank isn't going away today"
# posted by : 10:54 AM
: 10:54 AM
Bill’s youngest nephew, Abernathy Clinton, always delighted the crowd when he showed off his uncle’s most cherished relic from the White House days.
(Yes, I'm plundering the Bill Clinton jokes too)
(Yes, I'm plundering the Bill Clinton jokes too)
Lee's massive fart rebounded off of the forgotten Ron Jeremy butt-plug still nestled in his clenched anus, backfiring a toffee-colored turd out of his esophagus at the speed of sound.
Poor Kathy ducked, but never stood a chance.
Poor Kathy ducked, but never stood a chance.
With a mightly lunge into the golden casket and one viscious chomp, Rodney got the one Michael Jackson memento he came for and hauled ass through the distraught crowd.
I am the Douchenator, from the future... here to ruin your life and get some kickass tattoos.
# posted by : 11:05 AM
: 11:05 AM
Freud said that "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." yeah, and sometimes it's a BIG BROWN DICK
# posted by : 11:05 AM
: 11:05 AM
Ricky the Psychotic Tobacco Attack Rooster made his way through the unsuspecting crowd, leaving a trail of writhing one-eyed victims in his wake.
As Andy frantically fled the scene, a savagely neutered Gary Coleman bled out and lost consciousness behind the Sno-Cone stand.
Lindsey's powers (or curse?) were such that even when she mimicked a poo-squatting position, a full grown douche would materialize on the party deck.
Or...
What is Ben Affleck doing in the black tank top in the background?
Or...
Douche: "Quick, staring contest. Go."
Her: "The way your eggplant-colored boxers are frumpily overlapping your jean shorts makes me have to poo."
Or...
What is Ben Affleck doing in the black tank top in the background?
Or...
Douche: "Quick, staring contest. Go."
Her: "The way your eggplant-colored boxers are frumpily overlapping your jean shorts makes me have to poo."
Izzy and Myrna attempted to clinch the title with his patented "piller of stool" move, in the finals of the "Under 5'8 Samba Championship"
Kianna runs as the Creature From the Jerze Lagoon emerges from the boardwalk to terrorize hotts & ass pears everywhere!
Even over the stench of his cigar, Todd could smell the scent of fresh muffin-top, so close he could almost touch it...
Despite her best efforts to sneak through the reunion unnoticed, Julia was spotted by the newest Choadinator, the DB-1000. This was going to put a damper on the upcoming limbo competition she was hoping to enter.
"Ah-ah, I know what you're thinking, hotness. You're thinking did he drink six shots of Kahlua or only five? And to tell you the truth I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being that I am Scrot Eastwood - the most powerful d-bag in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question --Do I feel slimy? Well, do ya, chick?"
As elsie reminisced about her days at jefferson high, a very real memory came flooding back
# posted by : 11:33 AM
: 11:33 AM
Christian Audigier's mother listened while the Douchinator laid it all down: Affliction, Von Dutch, Ed Hardy, the history of things to come. It's not everyday you hear that you're responsible for 3 billion douchebags. She took it pretty well.
"I feel like I'm gonna throw up."
"I feel like I'm gonna throw up."
You have disgraced a Shaolin temple and stolen the sacred scrolls in your satchel!
Now, we must fight! You will be punished for your treachery.
Now, we must fight! You will be punished for your treachery.
# posted by : 11:39 AM
: 11:39 AM
Ted froze in terror and disgust when he realized what his buddies meant when they laughingly offered him a "lawn cigar".
As the shoot for Doublemint's horror-themed commercial began; conjoined brothers Arthur and Kade warily eyed their arch-counterparts, LaQuisha and LaRisha, as they circled the floor like hungry sharks.
After 3 hits of Acids and 2 Mushroom caps, it took Allison several hours to convince Rick that he was not Aaron Burr
Billy frolicked his balls off to capture the attention of Jen. Unfortunately, the combination of jorts and his tiny cigar was unable to keep her from escaping.
# posted by : 11:51 AM
: 11:51 AM
"Sarah Connor, resistance is futile. Scrotenet has your number. But could you just write it down for me anyway... just so I don't destroy the wrong human?
# posted by : 11:53 AM
: 11:53 AM
The stains on the floor boards began to mount, as Ivan's severed saliva hose, continued to rain terror upon the rest of the revelers.
The crown was oblivious to their impending doom, as the first of many "Bud-Light" tattood hoofs from the herd of giant elephants, landed merely inches from the dance floor.
Last Saturday in Compton, anxious locals await the results of Disney's latest casting call for its new movie, High School Musical 6; Skank Party.
shh. don't make a scene. the balding guy in the tank top is looking all over for the rest of his snickers. i couldn't help it. it really satisfies.
"I am the Douchenator, half machine, half human feces, sent back from the future to suck on this turd and wear these jorts low like a playa. Awww Yeaahhhh!"
# posted by : 12:45 PM
: 12:45 PM
"Haaghhh! Noo inna driped drrrtth! Noo wanna nare nis Mamy Root mit mee? -Mromis isssnotta durdd!..."
Cigarbag1: Hey sexy, what's u...
H&Mhot: no.
Cigarbag1: You don't even know what I'm gon...
H&Mhot: no.
Cigarbag1: Why you gotta be li..
H&Mhot: no.
H&Mhot: no.
Cigarbag1: You don't even know what I'm gon...
H&Mhot: no.
Cigarbag1: Why you gotta be li..
H&Mhot: no.
The Scrotinator say:
ALL MY PICTURE WILL BE REMOVED!
Now run along and play nicely
ALL MY PICTURE WILL BE REMOVED!
Now run along and play nicely
# posted by : 1:38 PM
: 1:38 PM
Geez this gaybag just broke off some brothabag's schwanz in his mouth, and now he's after me. I need to get away faaaaast!
Oh fuck, that dipshit ass clown is looking at me....nice piece of dogshit in your mouth. You just made my left ovary shrivel a little.
Listen, and understand. That douchebag is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are douche.
# posted by : 2:04 PM
: 2:04 PM
You still don't get it, do you? He'll infect her! That's what he does! It's *all* he does! You can't stop him! He'll wait for you!
# posted by : 2:05 PM
: 2:05 PM
This was Winona's first encounter with the semi-mythical abacrab douche species. At this moment, she is unsure of what actions she needs to take: run in horror into the crowd, curl up in the fetal position and hope the abacrab just paws at her until he tires, or spring into attack mode with her sharpened French tips. She chose the path of enlightenment and felched the jelly dong from Abacrab's mouth in one fluid motion, unseen by most on the Jerzee Boardwalk.
Well done Grasshopper.
Well done.
Well done Grasshopper.
Well done.
Fawn froze at the first site of the Preda-douche, but instincts soon took over and she bolted for the forest, and to safety.
-Tatadouche
-Tatadouche
# posted by : 2:44 PM
: 2:44 PM
Lisa and Todd busked for dollars in the hot Florida sun; he lip-flipped fresh hound-turds into her ass-purse to the crowd's delight.
Karen tried to avoid eye contact with Tony, but it was too late. When mocking him did not work, she knew she would now have to spend the next three hours rejecting his neanderthal sexual advances.
# posted by : 3:14 PM
: 3:14 PM
Startled and angry, he turned to confront her, but Stacey knew better than to stick around after giving a wedgie to such a greasy choad, and she beat a hasty retreat.
# posted by : 3:22 PM
: 3:22 PM
"Nobody make any sudden moves. I have plenty of experience dealing with cavemen."
# posted by : 3:27 PM
: 3:27 PM
Inexplicably, in the middle of a corny pick-up line, Tom's tongue decided to take a huge shit all over his chin.
Tina's denim skort saw the chocolate fart dart hanging out of Tom's mouth, and it became very a-frayed.
sorry.
sorry.
Quitting his nicotine addiction was always a rough affair, but Marvin took oral solace in the severed and cauterized marmot’s phallus that lolled betwixt his lips.
With the fuel line safely secured to the port adjacent to the dance floor, the Starship Innerthighs was cleared to launch for the final time.
One fateful slap from Laticia, was all it took for Gordon to remove his prosthetic left thumb, and prepare to box her ears into submission.
Though the whistle had blown seconds earlier, Lucian took it upon himself to punish Rasheeda for blitzing the line of scrimmage one too many times.
The reveling immediately turned to shock, when after his seventh cigar of that day, Horatio’s lips spontaneously fell off.
Fresh off his debacle in the bathroom stall with a senator, Edwin unknowingly kept his wide stance on the dance floor.
"Thaff rite bidge, I chuft pumped out fhis turd and caought it in muh MOUFF, pullin' up my panfts FO FAFFT you cuhnt hardly Fee it!"
--VS
--VS
# posted by : 5:57 PM
: 5:57 PM
Mandy had seen enough Steven Seagal movies to know that if she landed her kick just right, she could force the cigar through the scrote's brain stem, rendering his body as limp and lifeless as his pathetic needle dick...
# posted by : 7:07 PM
: 7:07 PM
In this picture we get a rare glimpse of the sacred Jersey Shore mating ritual; its most distinct feature being the apelike gestures of the Jersey Bleeth.
We are the douche...your hottness will be assimilated to service our scrotebagery...resistance is futile
# posted by : 9:43 PM
: 9:43 PM
A rogue party crasher from Central Catholic hits on a Jeff HS babe with the line, "Wanna chew on my Bogie Stogie?"
# posted by : 10:24 PM
: 10:24 PM
'Sock @ 11:01
As a dude with the word 'Poop' in my handle, it is my duty (doody) to highly recommend this caption for the win.
As a dude with the word 'Poop' in my handle, it is my duty (doody) to highly recommend this caption for the win.
Candance will never forget the day that she decided to become a bounty hunter.
for once, i actually wish i can write more captions for this pic, but, i have less than 6 hours of sleep before i wake up at 5:00 AM tomorrow
for once, i actually wish i can write more captions for this pic, but, i have less than 6 hours of sleep before i wake up at 5:00 AM tomorrow
cathy finally crossed the line when she made fun of phil's jorts. Douche code now requires him to prove he is superior though either a chugging contest or finding out who owns more ed hardousch
# posted by : 12:12 AM
: 12:12 AM
troopes of guidomime were started around the same time as "freedom fries" as an expression of anti-french sentiment. because people on the jerz boardwalk seldom notice them performing, no one has yet told them french bashing is passe.
"Remember that scene in Caddyshack where the guy eats the piece of shit? How funny was that?"
"Dude, in the movie it wasn't shit."
"Oh."
"Dude, in the movie it wasn't shit."
"Oh."
Trying to 'hide it out in the open', Tony decided to place his massive pot plant next to the Bud Light palm tree.
Man: What?!?
Girl: Tim Dunn says, 'match your shoes and your belt'. Maybe you can borrow that woman's white...,WTF. Nevermind!
Girl: Tim Dunn says, 'match your shoes and your belt'. Maybe you can borrow that woman's white...,WTF. Nevermind!
Yo baby, you wanna be a dancer for the Vanilla Douche Comeback Tour
Douche Douche Baby
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Douche Douche Baby
# posted by : 1:53 PM
: 1:53 PM << Home
