Consulting other men about what haircut to get = douche
 

The camera operator should be shot for this travesty. 2 perfectly formed and partially exposed fun bags and we can't even see them! Damn you!
 

Just as an FYI, that picture is a Van Gogh, not a Picasso. Yeah, I am an Art Douche...
 

Art Douche beat me to it, it is a Van Gogh
 

Thanks ArtDouche, fixed it so I don't look like a total moron. I blame last night's Night Train.

- management
 

"wait, did you pucker? I puckered. Did you? How much? Let's retake another one- I don't think you puckered enough. I mean, if we want this to look good- like real good, we both need to pucker"
 

I was at the art institute last week and can verify- van gogh puts some serious crust on his paintings. shit is practically dripping off.

and I made the same mistake as DB1- I asked where the Blue man painting is by van gogh. I was wrong- it was picasso (he had a whole period in blue)
 

red bloatbag. i've seen this kind.
 

Having "Starry Night" on your head might actually be kind of cool. Although I'm more of a Magritte man, so I'd be inclined to replace my face with an apple.
 

Douche Scrotewalker,

I have pondered this same question in the past, and always have come up with the same answer...just shave it all off. No reason to prolong the inevitable...problem solved.
 

She is what I come to see on this site... add a pair of librarian glasses and I would jizz in my pants... not that i haven't already.
 

dear Douche Scrotewalker,

go buy a good pair of clippers, put it on the lowest setting, and buzz your entire head. i've done this for 8+ years. i call it the 'no excuses' haircut. you'll be surprised how good it feels. of course, if your head is shaped like a milk dud, don't do this.


best,
pfah
 

These two were caught mid picture making their favorite sound, "Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwu".
 

And oh yeah. I second JCvD and Pfah, but take it one step further: bic it. There is apparently an entire class of extremely hot women in the world who not only have a thing for bald guys, but who will be so bold as to walk up to you and ask if they can lick it. I shit you not. Happened at least three times a year since I shaved my head (been 10 years now), and some years as many as 8 or 9.
 

Unrelated to the pic, but related to the eventual douche-pocalypse: Witness Diesel's new line of giant watches called--wait for it--"Super Bad Ass."

Allow me to offer some ad copy I wrote:

"Diesel's Super Bad Ass Watches: Giant Watches for Giant Douches."
 

Nice catch Mr. White, I'll toss that into the Friday Thoughts and Links.

- management
 

They...they have an embedded digital watch in case the dials are too confusing...
 

hang on a second here.....


i own a Diesel watch. it's not the Super Bad Ass variety, but it's a Diesel.





should i be worried?
 

I fucked a bunny. No, a real one.


Nice hair, bra! You can never use too much product.
 

@pfah

Keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't grow in diameter or increase its number of dials. If it does either of those things, kill it with fire before it burrows into your skin and starts commanding you to pop your collar.
 

@Mr. White said...thank you my friend. you might have saved a life today.
 

Balding dudes should just shave it. Pfah is a shining example of a glorious dome. Nothin' wrong with that.

My question is, if you have a full head of graying hair, is it douchey if I start coloring it to keep it black?

My wife and I have been arguing about this for the last couple years. I'm going au natural for now.
 

What kind of person needs a watch with the three different clocks on it?
 

@ crucial

Go with Just For Men: Touch of Gray. Unless you hate the Dead.
 

To the author of the letter: There is one man in Hollywood that rocked the receding hairline in style all the way to bald: Bruce Willis. Use him as your guide.
 

thanks Cru'.

au natural my friend. au natural. grey hair = experience.
 

@Massengill,

That's the direction I'm headed. I don't mind some gray... but my old man ended up with albino white hair. And with his darker skin tone, it looks a wee bit weird. He looks like a carmel coated popsicle with some ice cream poking out the top.

For now, I’ll stick with the au natural, but I think there may be a little Just fo’ Men in my future… as long as it’s not a Touch of The Gay.
 

Hair loss is only funny when it's not happening to you.

At some point, you'll just have to go with the previous suggestions and headblade that shit.

Unfortunately, white men have muuuch goofier-looking skulls than just about everyone else on the planet, especially brothabags.

Otherwise: Nioxin shampoo, conditioner & leave-in (all very expensive), Or the standard Rogaine shit, Saw Palmetto, Beta Sitosterol, etc.

Propecia sounds uncool as it's systemic insted of topical.

Unfortunately, it all depends on whether or not your Mom's father had hair at old age or not.

One day they will fix this with either gene therapy or cranial sewing-machines. Then grandpaw can finally get that green mohawk he's wanted without using astroturf and stickytape.

Best of luck.


OH: Also, on the DarkSock side of things, you could get that Indian guy's cow to lick your head (not that head, horndog), &/or have your girlfriend pee on your scalp.

I do both purely for the fun.
 

@ croosh. i'm 36, a lot of gray. not psyched about it at all. but to suddenly show up anywhere with black hair? it would surely spell my ball-busting crucifixion among some friends. damnit, i've thought about the douche factor of it and then some.

@db1- something/anything?
 

these Badass Diesel watches max out at 65 millimeters!

Just like your weewee.
 

I don't get the head shaving thing. If you're losing your hair, live with it.
 

Sorry, no advice about hair, mine still seems to be doin' its thing.

But that dude in the pic is a complete tool.

That is all.
 

Saw a douchebag drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's
And his hair was perfect.



Look to Michael Chiklis as a guide: disappearing hair and he is the Comish. Shaved head and he is Vic Mackey.
 

you shave this douchebag's head and he's a choadball in the corner pocket.
 

Dude, WTF? Bald is hotter than holy hell...shave that shit, stat.
 

What I do: just come it back. Eventually it will go away. My hair is very wavy. It never had a part. Now I have a big "hole" in my hair and the stuff on top is gradually getting whispier. Meh.

I don't care. Hair is hair.

I have a number of scars on my head (car accident) so, shaving isn't in my interest.

I'll just adopt some weird affectation of wearing a hat that suits my head. Up here in Canadia, a bald head is a cold head. I haven't found a good hat that I like yet. sigh.
 

@Troy:

I haven't found a good hat that I like yet...

Whoa! You mean that's not YOU in your avatar??

Way to rock my world you sunuvabitch! I don't know what to believe anymore.
 

The dude in the photo looks like he got a donor scalp transplant from an 8-year old.
 

No one has yet mentioned her boobies.

And speaking of boobies, go see Half-Nekkid Thursday on HSG's blog. That is, if you are a proponent of Moon landings and such.....or just a perv like me.
 

@ Crucial
What? You're married?!
Bummer...
 

Those dimwitted douchies could have as much Oversize Bad Ass as they could handle for the mere price of a smile and two tickets to the Country Buffet.
Tsk tsk...
 

On the hair-dye debate, go natural. It's "green" and it's cheaper than spending bucks on a dye-job. AND, after several years of brunette hair-dye, my wife discovered quite by accident (she went one month longer between colorings) that the dye chemicals were causing her severe muscle aches and pains. YES, she had myositis. Now she has put the cane away and can walk again, unassisted. If ONLY she had known, all that suffering the past two years in particular would have been avoided.

Just sayin.'
 

Oh, and as for Pinkie Guppiemouth, he appears to have used so much hair gel that it retro-drove through his scalp pores, into his sinus cavities and down into the throat where it has gelled his lips together like a taut pooter.

Conclusion: Douchebag pout may well be a case of sticky lips, not kissing gourami fish muscle moves.
 

Amen, Whoop. That stuff is bad news. Although I confess I've been dyeing for a while now. After giving up the bleach/purple/pink/chelsea, I let the snakes come in au naturel. I was startled to see how many of 'em were gray and I have five more years before I'll be willing to accept that.

The evil double standard: Woman + gray hair = haggard.

Man + gray hair = distinguished. You fuckers. Rock it, Croosh, rock it.

As for the balding, bald heads are indeed hot and look badass. I'm a sucker for a thick head of dark hair with some grey creeping in. But if it's a choice between trying to fake a full head, or just shaving it, the ballsier move wins every time. There is nothing we gals snicker at like a man trying desperately to whip his remaining strands into place. We're not fooled.

And Vader is right. When the Ex-Mr. Oblongata first shaved his nog, he and I were merely friends, but I went bonkers and licked his scalp. And I started licking his other head soon thereafter.

Boys, don't do a douche. You are allotted the aging process, it's considered handsome and alluring. For women, it's a battle to be fought and lost, and we are eventually dicarded in favor of perky chippies who like your gray hair and crow's feet 'cause it speaks to their nagging daddy issues.
 

Pinky is clearly pretty good with a potato stamp. Look at the precision with which he stamped skulls onto his shirt!

That vixen is TASTY.
 

Theresa for Hall of Hott.

because her nose and chin are sharp, her her lips thin, and her eyes large and shiny. she has that anime vibe.

and even though Pinky McGuppiemouth isn't Hall of Scrote material, he should still be buried under one of those skull piles in Somalia.
 

p.s. i'm not sure if those skull piles are in Somalia. maybe Rwanda.
 

I don't think it's any less pathetic to wave the white flag and shave all of your hair off when it starts to go than to give yourself the worst combover possible. A combover takes balls to be able to pull off. I always se all those douchebags out there with the I have no hair haircut and usually the black framed glasses and they're hitting on chicks way above them. It's not more manly. If my roof started to fall in, I wouldn't go and bust it in. Better to have a tarp on it than deliberately hack it off. It's like those dudes are out to spite themselves or something.
 

If someone wants to set me up on a blind date, one of my first questions (it's a trick question) is: "does he have a full head of hair?"

If the answer is yes, I may still go on the date, but won't be as enthused about it.

It's a simple question of biology - bald means an abundance of testosterone. Which is sexy.

And Troy, your scars wouldn't phase any chick of quality whatsoever.
 

He looks like a guy that can only say the word "THORP!".
 

Dear Douche Scrotewalker dont be a scrote if you dont want to be a douche and you are going bald just shave your head chicks will dig it and you want look like a tard for further review check out Gunny....Dont be that guy
 

I hate to rip on this piece of shit, but look at him. Can this pile of shit look any more gay.
 

Only if he was Darrell Hammond.
 

such a cute and fresh face. Wonder if her boobs are real?