I thought it was called a satchel?
 

Murses are stupid, but not as stupid as Ed Hardy.

Here's a scary thought: Are there Ed Hardy Murses?
 

I call Canada "Mexico North."
 

I'm just waiting for Vera Bradley to come out with its first "murse" bags, complete with little screen-prints of real douchebags with hose and nozzles included, and bottles of Summer's Eve and Massengill....

.. To be followed by matching travel accessories. And room accessories: lampshade, picture frames, placemats, area rugs...

Just sayin'...
 

yeah, but worn with a bro (man bra), the autodouche gets cancelled out
 

Does the soft-sided briefcase or "messenger bag" that I carry all my work crap back and forth to the office in count as a murse? I'd argue that it is an exception. And, living in Vancouver myself, I must say that it is not the douches who carry man-bags anyway. It's guys who have shit to carry but don't want to look like a dork with a briefcase and refuse to give in and buy a Mountain Equipment Co-op backpack (which no one who isn't going directly to the woods should ever be seen carrying). Bear in mind that I'm speaking as someone who vomits on sight of Ed Hardy T-shirts and Dussault hoodies. I've never seen the guys who wear those things with a "murse", because such boneheaded jocks would consider it a "faggot" accessory.
 

Oh, and since Vancouver was brought up, I'm on a one-man campaign to get this band of douche brothers publicly shamed: www.myspace.com/likeastorm

They make me want to kill!
 

The murse is big in Europe, I've found. Whilst on my travels, I'd find myself snickering into my sleeve about my local pieces of ass carrying them. And then, over the course of the evening, I realised was not getting inundated with requests from them to "put this in your purse", and then I'd be lugging all his shit around with me.

I also was impressed when I'd visit a nasty, medieval Euro toilet, and said murse carrier would whip out a bottle of hand sanitizer for me as soon as I came out of the door.

AND THEN...getting back to the hotel and he'd not only have gum for some nice minty breath, but a shit-ton of condoms.

Fancy, girlish logo-print 600 dollar murse, full of anti-wrinkle cream and lip plumper? NO.

Black canvas military pouch festooned with band buttons and full of condoms, all of which will be used in a single evening? YES.


Medusa approves the murse, under certain contingencies.
 

This just in....

You're welcome.

I'm sorry.
 

While I certainly don't approve of the Murses or Murse toting, it isn't in the same vein of douche as Ed Hardy. It goes more with the five popped-collar douche and euro-douche as Medusa mentioned. Therefore it does not generate the same level of hatred.

And to respond to Anon 9:36. Messenger bags are not auto-douche, which is not to say that there aren't douchey messenger bags. There should be a Venn diagram on GraphJam of douchey and non-douchey accessories.
 

Heh heh heh, tanning beds are not only akin to arsenic, they're as bad as a limb falling on a hapless pedestrian in Central Park.

Medusa saves the day...
 

Douche Listen Up
If you have that much shit to carry just go to the Army-Navy Store and invest in a C-4 satchel. It'll tote your travel kit of Pro-Activ, spare tube of Prep H, extra can of Axe and Axe hair gel, extra mandanna, tube of manscarra and Puffy Lips man-moisturizer.
You'll still be a soulless turd but atleast it'll be your one sign of manliness.
 

@ Medusa

Looks like that tanning bed was hungry.



As for the man purse? Men have pockets for that stuff. While I can't whip out a bottle of hand sanitizer (except the demo size, and that looks lame) I can carry alcohol-infused moist towelettes.

I'm looking at the pockets of the pants I'm wearing right now. I have my keys in one pocket, wallet in another, phone in a third. Nice thing about pocket is that you empty them every night.

Guys with a murse. I can see the murse full of half-melted Belgian chocolate bars, moisturizer, designer cockrings, and maybe the combination lock for his bicycle. Probably carries his rhinestone encrusted cell phone in one of those lame holsters. Which hip depends on whether he pitches or catches.
 

I have a man purse but I do think they are funny. It comes in handy though. I'm diabetic and I carry my meds and stuff with me. It's just a target man purse. If you spend a ton of money on one you deserve to be laughed at.
 

Better watch out some keep the burner tucked in these "murses". I see this site is still alive and thriving with haters, still haven't been laid yet? Faggats
 

Still in summer school, CADMAN?

Still learning to spell, anyway.

Is that a picture of you fucking a football?
 

I actually have a fanny pack (not a murse) used to conceal my Browning Hi Power. I can also store two spare mags. I take it to the range.
 

Does Matt Stafford have a Gucci murse?
 

i don't think murses belong on a list of typical douchetributes. has this site ever featured a murse-wearing 'bag? These only appear on relatively rare eurobag, gaybag, and hipsterbag susbspecies. And we are usually inclined to give eurobags and gaybags passes for their transgressions because, well, they can't really help it and just aren't that threatening. Typical douchebags, despite their guyliner and tight blouses, probably think they are too tuff for murses

And poor Vancouver. Sad to hear it has become the hollywood of america-lite. Went there about 10 years ago and loved it.
 

i am also from vancouver, and would argue that we actually have a HIGHER percentage of douchebaggery happening here compared to l.a.
murses here are the status quo and a required part of the uniform.

and to massengill's comment re: canada being "mexico north" - yah. you get sick, they fix you immediately, it really does suck up here. keep spewing your nonsense - it's patriotic to be ignorant.
 

most of the murses i've seen in Vancouver are sported by Asians. the same Asians are usually big on spiky gelled hair, various douche brands, and of course... they're just as intolerable as any Jerz Ooze Guido.

your typical Asian Vancouverite murse-toting douchebag can hail from all walks of life.

the bottom of the food chain would consist of university frat boys working part time as a cell phone salesperson pushing all kinds of useless and /or expensive features / services to anyone that walks in their workplace while desperately trying to make friends with people who can hook them up with a job at a bank. because you can NOT get a banking job in Vancouver without having an insider pull some strings for you. and Asian Vancouverites love banking jobs (see a connection here people?). they also love computer-related jobs, but that sector isn't looking so hot right now.

and the top of the food chain would consist of university frat boys with rich parents. that's pretty self explanatory.

hey i get to make all these observations because i'm Asian too. and also because i'm a politically incorrect wingnut.
 

@ Anon 9:36 AM,

i go to work with a bright yellow North Face mountain climbing bag. i put my hard hat, safety glasses, high-vis vest, and tool belt in there.

@ Anon 9:39 AM,

haven't heard of that band before. they're probably not gonna make it big anyway. for good local music, listen to the Fox Seed Contest winners.
 

I wear a murse from time to time. Usually on alternating business-casual Fridays. But it’s made of petrefied Conquistador testicles and emu ear whiskers, so it’s cool.

And, more importantly, it’s definitely not gay.
 

My briefcase holds my laptop, a book or two, a few CDs, and my Palm. Weighed 21 pounds at the airport last week. It has wheels, but as I told my wife, "Wheels are for pussies."
 

Steve L., that band is exactly the type of derivative shite that ends up on Fox Seeds! Every year it's a vomitous salute to the worst sort of mainstream-aiming garbage Vancouver has to offer. The Fox Seeds Hall of Shame includes such 'bag faves as Nickelback, Default, and Theory of a Deadman. Enough said?
 

no way bill...you need to get those wheels lubed and ready...pinebox derby style murse racin'

yeah anyone who doesn't work, live, drink, exist within 15 feet of their car or truck at all times, is going to need a murse of some sorts...

the key is not to be douchey about it...bookbags are for kids, designers are for women, just get something simple, solid colored, and don't make a thing of it.
 

@ Anon 12:09

well Like A Storm definitely wasn't the winner. and i'm not even aware of them entering the contest to start with.

Seeds has had its road bumps, but the last two years have been good. i'd rather listen to Venice Queen, Cold Driven, or Jordan Carrier over plenty of the mainstream artists that the Fox plays during regular hours.

but that's just me.
 

@Medusa 9:48

Oh joy! Oh daaaaaamn...right when I was about to climax...interruption.

And by interruption i mean that my Raccoon 'Murse' that I had hit in the head with my blackjack came back to life after I had stuffed it full of used condoms, empty bottles of Mad Dog 20/20, cigarette butts, and KY Jelly. Boy was he pissed!
 

No, guys, I think this is a designer C'ag (Colostomy Bag).
 

That thers faggot shit

SFX ( spit lugi on floor)

nuff said
 

I burp sperm
 

What the fuck people. Come on! Messenger bags are not douchey by definition! I mean its one thing to have a plain practical messenger bag just for convenience and a totally different thing to have an Ed Hardy (or some other shitty brand like that one) messenger bag to show off.

This is a pic of my bag:
www.stooorage.com/show/147/188802_texier-manhattan.jpg

Am I a douchebag then? What sayeth the douchehunter assembly? I'm especially interested in Medusas opinion...
 

@Anon 3:00pm,

I hate to break it to you, but that bag is the gayest thing I've seen since I caught DarkSock peeking at my pee pee as I peed in the horse that was tied to the pommel next to the barn in his backyard.
 

@ Scrötinger’s Cat : 3:19 PM

Thanks for the feedback. I like it -thats why I bought it in the first place- and it has proven to be quite handy as well. The funny thing is that I was going for exactly the opposite look, hence the lack of any fruity designs, features and/or logos.

At least I ought to thank you for for being honest (and funny).

Cheers!
 

Murse=Gaybag.
 

I call this post, "further reflections on cross-cultural douche dialectics, and the eptiome of scrote: an essay on the growing stain"

given recent interest on the impact of the grieco-virus globally, i wonder if an international conference of bag-hunters might not be in order. researchers working across global borders and in varying sub-disciplines within taintlectics might benefit from a "meeting of the minds" as it were, to compare notes, listen to some lectures, and generally to gain a broader understanding of the progress of the douche in varying cultures and nations. might i suggest, vegas, with its ample convention space, and fine accomodations? we could all take "working vacations".

-snaggledouche
 

practical ain't always masculine. i'd never use a murse. i disagree with euripidouche about bookbags being for kids. college campuses are otherwise full of children, and not all of them are trust fund fratchoads.
 

hey CADMAN, why don't you go fistfuck a cattle prod? or better yet, relive your finest moment:

http://thinkcooper.com/Galleries/BM2007_gallery/images/BM_2007_1337.jpg
 

Anon 3:00

Meh...to be honest, the shiny leather(ette?) is a tad un-rugged. I'd have elected for canvas, myself. At least it doesn't have a bunch of Ed Hardy shit all over it, but it still kinda looks like a Coach purse to me....
 

I've been following this site for quite a while now and I really think you guys are very funny and you're doing an excellent job at mocking all the douchebags featured here.

Now, this particular thread made me think that maybe some of you guys -like the OP- have gone too far into trying to find ways to label people as douchebags.

I believe that being a douchebag involves a lot more than just attire. A douchebag is a combination of clothing, accessories, tattoos, bling, orange or shitstain tan, but above all its about ATTITUDE.

So, you cannot take one specific accessory completely out of context and label it a douche-tool just like that. Case on point: Is a baseball cap douchey? Of course not. Its the fact that these retards wear it tilted that immediately turns it into a douche accessory.

Keep in mind that I'm not reffering to items that are made by douchebag BRANDS like Ed Hardy. Remember, there are grown ass men with lamborghini and armani mobile phones. Does that mean that I am a douche for having a $70 Nokia? They are both mobile phones for fuck sakes. The former are for douchebags like GATOR the latter are for the rest of us.

Likewise, there are messenger bags for douchebags like the OP bag or this one:
http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee227/rams512jt/BAGS/1664_m.jpg

and there are normal messenger bags that people buy because they are practical:
http://i27.tinypic.com/292wr28.jpg
or
http://i30.tinypic.com/sb7ltw.png
or
http://i28.tinypic.com/30tmjgk.jpg

In other words, its not the items that make a douchebag what he is, its the douchebag (and the way he wears and uses them) that infects these items with his taint - and of course it is the brand that gives the item a douche aura.

I dont know what the fuck is the big deal with this "murse" idea. Is DB1 running out of material so hes started using retarded letters like OP's? I hope not.
And I dont know why OP called it a "murse" in the first place. If a man purse is called a "murse" shouldnt we call a womans purse a "wurse"?

Could it be that OP is a douchebag on a mission to cause confussion? I say a big fuck you to Joe DoucheBaggio and I give a clear pass to all people that use messenger bags and all their derivatives as long as they stay clear from douche-tainted brands and designs like Ed Hardy.

I'm glad that at least Medusa "approves the murse, under certain contingencies."

Practical might not be always masculine but it is masculine 90% of the time. Thats why my messenger bag has enough space for my laptop and two-to-three books and my girlfriends purse hasnt got enough room for my cell phone.

Remember it is the way you use an item that makes you a douchebag...
Classic example of douche fail:
http://i26.tinypic.com/1z3yt6w.jpg
 

Bollocks, I have a 'murse' and it comes in very useful. It's plain black and cost less than £20.
 

Amen brother:) I live in Vancouver too. It is absolutely ridiculous watching these gangster wanna be douche bags with their purses, or should I say murses. They parade around like their the shit, and girls actually find them attractive. What has happened to the real manly men, like the Stallone, Arnies, and segall's. Now the tres chike look is a Fag bag, and way overly priced Ed crappy shirts lol!!!! Peace out my non douche brothers.
 

i peed in an elevator once
 

Confucius says

If you call a person that is not a douchebag, a douchebag, you are a douchebag.

Joe DoucheBaggio probably wears this:
http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/1198/29xssg9.jpg
When he's not wearing it,he uses it on his dog:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUbVjIswSbg
Thats why he's so pissed off at people with messenger bags. Because they dont look like geeks and dont smell like dogshit.

I peed in DoucheBaggio's ear twice.
He said it was warm and nice

~Confucius~
 

I concur. A murse is gay.
 

its not a murse if: it came off a DC back pack & does not have a place to secure it over ur shoulder/waist. plus u are carrying weed, a scale, blunts and a grinder... these guys on this site are true douche bags!