Douche...Bag
 

Eat at Chang's!!
 

Sell by 3-18-2007
 

Honor

Meaningless
 

Buckcherry is my dildo.
 

all your base are belong to us
 

Pump fists not gas
 

Barbarian westerner gives handjobs for nickels, gives back change
 

I am fluent in both Modern Mandarin and Ancient Chinese characters: Its hard to say the exact translation with modern language and it's meaning is so deep that its hard to put into English but as close as I can get....

"Chewy Animal Cookie"
 

Raccoon Face
 

"No he doesn't know what it means either."
 

Cocks, they're not just for breakfast anymore
 

"If you can read this you are fucking my ass doggy-style, sideways."
 

Confucious say: "tis better to douche and score suckable hip bone than to douche alone "
 

Ingredients:
1 package egg roll wrappers (4 1/2" by 5 1/2")
Filling:
1 pound fresh pork (or barbecued pork)
1 medium onion (sliced)
2 stalks celery, cut diagonally
1/2 pound fresh mushrooms, sliced
6 water chestnuts (fresh if possible), sliced
1/2 pound suey choy (Napa Cabbage), sliced thinly, 1 inch lengthwise
2 green onions, diced
1 pound fresh bean sprouts
Pork Seasoning:
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon oyster sauce
salt and pepper to taste
a bit (less than 1 teaspoon) cornstarch
Gravy:
4 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon soy sauce
2 teaspoons oyster sauce
salt, pepper, accent (if desired) to taste
2 tablespoons cornstarch mixed with 2 teaspoons cold water*
2 tablespoons oil for stir-frying
2 to 4 cups oil for deep-frying



Preparation:
Mix seasoning ingredients together. Cut the pork into thin strips, add the seasonings and marinate the pork for between 10 and 15 minutes.

While the pork is marinating, prepare the vegetables, and the gravy mixture.

Heat the wok over medium-high to high heat. Add the oil for stir-frying. When the oil is iready, add the celery and onion and stir-fry.

Taste and add salt and sugar if desired. Remove from the wok. Add the pork to the wok and cook until well done (place cover on wok). Remove. Clean the wok and stir-fry separately the mushrooms, water chestnuts, and bean sprouts. Check the seasoning while stir-frying the bean sprouts and add salt and/or sugar as desired. Stir-fry the suey choy, covering and cooking for approximately 1 minute, again adding salt and/or sugar if desired. Combine all the ingredients in the wok. If necessary, drain some of the juice from the vegetables out.

Add the gravy, pushing the vegetables up against the sides of the wok to form a well in the middle for the gravy, and stir to thicken. Mix thoroughly. Add green onion. Set the filling aside to allow to cool before wrapping.

Wrapping: Mix the cornstarch and water, slowly adding the water to the cornstarch until you have a "glue" which will be used to seal the wrappers.

To wrap, lay the egg roll wrapper out with the short (4 1/2") side directly in front of you. This will be the dry side. The two long sides will be called sides 1 and 3, and the other short side directly across from you will be called side 2. Place approximately 1 tablespoon of filling in the middle of the wrapper, spreading it out but not getting too close to the edges. Using your fingertip, spread a bit of the cornstarch/water glue along edges 1, 2, and 3. Fold over the dry side, then take side 2 and fold it over, making sure the two sides overlap. Press down firmly on sides 1 and 3, making sure they are well sealed.

Deep-frying: When oil is ready, slide each egg roll carefully into the wok one at a time. Deep-fry until they are golden brown, then drain on deep-fry rack or paper towels. Keep on a tray lined with fresh paper towels until needed. The egg rolls should not be stacked. If possible do not reheat in the oven, as this can dry the eggrolls out, but if necessary, reheat them on low heat for 10 minutes on each side.
 

"My favourite dish at Hung Phat is Cream of Sum Yung Gie"
 

"I ♥ unicorns"
 

"Shit stain" that's it.

I know, I lived there for a year. Some Japanese artist laughs himself to sleep every night over all the "Shit Stain" running around in America.

Stupid Gaijin! hehehehe.
 

"I stain short shorts"

-Snaggledouche
 

"Start incision here"
 

"Even Buddha himself would bitch slap this guy"
 

"Peter Puffer"
 

"Sausage Slurper"
 

He's from a Chinese tribe...I'm surprised you all didn't get that...
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

"Warning! Stay back 20 feet! I drink from my own exposed colostomy bag."
 

"Got penicillin?"
 

"Keel Mouse and Squirrel."
 

The two characters together mean "great effort, strive, try hard" according to my Chinese character dictionary.

The left-hand character means "exert, strive, make effort" and also "pout."

The right-hand character is "power, capability, influence."

"Pout power" could be an alternative translation.
 

Requires 2 9 volt batteries, not included.
 

"May your sunglasses always be large."
 

I killed Kenny


I like shiny things
 

always funny seeing people i know..stop hating on them!
 

I propose we get a posse and hunt down the worthless shitbag dickhole who came up with the phrase " Hating On"
 

"wtf i hope tha h8rz don't h8 on me omg lol l8rzzzzz"

Oh, to clarify, that's what the tatt says - I thought it might have a more modern/IM/lazy-assed, punctuation-free feel to it.

Maybe Anon 4:30 p.m. will like that one.
 

"Dim Sim, 5 for 3 dollar"
 

The nose came with the sunglasses
 

lmfao @ Anon 5:46pm
 

Ni hao ma?

Wo hen hao. Xie xie ni.

As someone who just proved their fluency in Chinese I would like to give the literal translation of this douchebag's tattoo:

Beef and Broccoli.

Seriously.

I've always wanted to slip those characters into a tattoo parlor with the translation "Lion Strength" just so some asshole would get beef and broccoli tattooed on their arm. I never succeeded, but someone did.
 

do not resuscitate

-VS
 

"Hopefully this tattoo will help my farmer's tan transition"
 

Karl Maldens bastard son
 

I was inspired by the above post from Anon 5:46 post which i thought was F'n funny
 

or something like that

I like shiny things
 

" Speak to the Cheese Arm Steak of United Face".
 

"if found unconscious swab my asshole with Lysol immediately"
 

"Ancient Chinese Secret: Chinese Tats are for Choads. Please Mock."
 

"Clusterfuck This"
 

Poon Tang Ewww
 

"Stop here when arm-fucking any asshole."
 

"Dim sum pi"
 

"My cock is this big around, too."
 

"Caution: gaseous planets have rings."
 

Scroteboy Slim
 

DAT TAT SAYS "androstenedione"
 

Has anyone else noticed this guy's twin lurking about in the background? He's just above this very attractive young woman's pinky finger. Same do, same shades. Same aura of scrote.
 

Old WC Fieldsnose McGuid sure did score a looker.
http://anyworld.files.wordpress.com/2006/12/masquers-scrapbook-pg16-wc-fields1.jpg
 

he's gotta portabello mushroom for a nose... she, a slingblade for a hipbone
 

"detain this uighar in guantanamo, please"
 

"having your grandparents pay for your steroids and gym passes is the true meaning of hard work"
 

I've taken Japanese (years ago) and have a little dictionary that translates the kanji characters. They are closely related to the older basic Chinese characters.

All I have is "fart sniffer."



Nihongoga sukoshi wakarimasu!
 

"Sperm burper"
 

"Red Bull and vodka erases shame"
 

"I'm gonna flex my killer tat, just don't get my apple juice in the picture"
 

chinese tats... so over!
 

"Nose Pear"
 

"Chinese characters - $9.99 - SPECIAL!"
 

"loser" and when you look at it upside down it says "douche"
 

"Slippery when wet"
 

Requires fauxhawk to operate
 

eeny meeny miney moe, tatt on uighar, he won't know.
 

uighar, please!
 

"4EVA JIGGY WID IT"
 

Who's EVA?
 

I almost had a minor in Japanese when I was an undergrad. By almost, I mean I did bang 2-3 Japanese exchange students during my matriculations.

Thats said, my translation of the bagg's tats is that it says "I lick scote taint". I could be wrong, but really, who here is gonna shoot me down?
 

"Dark Sock's Garter, what's it to ya'?"
 

The first one, that looks like three stacked comes up as "diligent, toil" in my dictionary, and the second one by itself means "power, strong"
 

Babelfish came back with "Gloryhole Doily"...
 

Instant "personality"
 

it's supposed to be honor and strength. It doesn't say the same thing when you put them together like that.

I don't understand why they don't just get the words, "strength, Honor"
 

In Chinese it's nuli it has the meaning and connotation of 'hardworking/diligent'. Ironic.
 

It either says, "Fire Brain Coffin" or "If found, please drop in nearest mailbox."

Or "Stupid gwai lo thinks this says, 'Soul Of A Warrior' when it really says, 'I Fuck Little Animals.'"

There's nobody I'd trust enough to give me a foreign language tattoo if I wasn't fluent in that language.

Pennywise
 

It's worse than you think. The visible symbols read "do your best" or "apply your effort". The other bits are unreadable. Douchie is in to affirmations. Every day I will be the best douchebag I can be.
 

i went to college with this guy. his last name's lopez. he changed it on facebook to lopese.
 

It reads doryoku in Japanese. It is surrounded by a douchie tribal instead of "suru" which would complete it as a verb. That makes the literal translation "effort" or "attempt."

I can only assume he attempted to be cool and turned out to be a douche.

I can't make this shit up.