Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Translate That Forehead Untannery
This here's the mug from Friday's Translate That Tatt.
Yet I'm fascinated by that weird gap of paleness between his hairline and his fake-tanned forehead.
Is it a skin condition? Vitiligo? Was it where the baseball cap was tilted when sitting in the tanning salon?
And what's with noted character actor William Fitchner in the background?
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"My hairline is undergoing a deep recession."
Or, as the behemoth later paraphrased on Twitter: "SUCK IT, FAGGOTS! Ur jus jelous cuz i got a bitch!"
Or, as the behemoth later paraphrased on Twitter: "SUCK IT, FAGGOTS! Ur jus jelous cuz i got a bitch!"
Whatever hair product Mongo uses, its perma-presence acts as unintentional sun block. The sun's UV rays cannot penetrate hair spackle.
His hair game rivals that of Brad Pitt in "Cool World".
His hair game rivals that of Brad Pitt in "Cool World".
# posted by 
: 12:45 PM
: 12:45 PM
i'll tell ya where that odd tanline came from:
$100 says he didn't have his hair all spiked-up when he went to the tanning salon.
he's one ugly bastard too. poor kid never stood a chance with Carlos Mencia for his father, and Delta Burke for his mom.
$100 says he didn't have his hair all spiked-up when he went to the tanning salon.
he's one ugly bastard too. poor kid never stood a chance with Carlos Mencia for his father, and Delta Burke for his mom.
I could be wrong, but after his fateful headbutting accident with a rack of moose antlers, I believe that lighter shade on his forehead is where the surgeons grafted in the unblemished taint of a fetal dingo.
When your brow is constantly furrowed while you attempt, in vain, to understand the world around you, it's bound to cause some unevenness in your tan.
Fitchner thought he was at a cast rap party for Prison Break. To his surprise it was the cast party for La Cage Aux Folles where mug plays a drag queen. His stage make up only went up to his wig and he didn't have time to clean up after the curtain closed.
Dr. DB
Dr. DB
he was obviously swimming "down the shore" (LBI rocks, BRA!)at guido beach -- water washed the goo out of his hair, and that's the resulting tan line.
I take it pfah went with a Delta Burke reference because Bea Arthur would be "too soon".
it certainly was more obscure than Roseanne Barr, and much funnier than a Rosie O'Donnell.
it certainly was more obscure than Roseanne Barr, and much funnier than a Rosie O'Donnell.
# posted by : 1:12 PM
: 1:12 PM
The japanese tattoo on his arm reads "I forgot to wash my zit cream off before I applied the self-tanner, the overdryness of my skin on the T-zone caused overabsorption, resulting in the uneven and unsightly pigmentation you see here."
Or maybe it just says "Strength." Gaijindouche? Any ideas on that one?
Or maybe it just says "Strength." Gaijindouche? Any ideas on that one?
@ Gaijincouhe 4.35 - My thoughts exactly. Mandanna tandanna is like the douchebag equivalent of Hott cleavite (except not sexy)
# posted by : 5:03 PM
: 5:03 PM
Ed Hardy formal wear?
I don't think it was a mandanna that caused that. I make him to be more of a native American headdress kind of guy.
@ jonezy
I made a Bea Arthur joke at work 2 weeks ago. It was DEFINITELY too soon then.
I don't think it was a mandanna that caused that. I make him to be more of a native American headdress kind of guy.
@ jonezy
I made a Bea Arthur joke at work 2 weeks ago. It was DEFINITELY too soon then.
For the sake of Anon 3:41 p.m., AKA "The Hairsplitter," yes it is indeed William Fichtner.
Now let's give Anon 3:41 p.m. a big round of applause, shall we?
Now let's give Anon 3:41 p.m. a big round of applause, shall we?
okay first all....your all faggot hatas second we were all in acapulco so na itz real....second that girl isnt his sista.....your alll fuccin dead gay
# posted by : 7:32 PM
: 7:32 PM
@ Wheeze 5:36
Nope. I'm savin' it for Anon 7:32.
I'm fuccin dead gay. I'm going to lay in my pink coffin now.
Nope. I'm savin' it for Anon 7:32.
I'm fuccin dead gay. I'm going to lay in my pink coffin now.
you go do that at least speak the truth if ur gunna take peoples pictures.....not alll tans are fake give it up
# posted by : 7:49 PM
: 7:49 PM
the guy went into a spray tan booth and when they gave him the hair net he was supposed to wear, the idiot had it too low on his head, so the top of his forehead never got sprayed.
well done Guid!
well done Guid!
# posted by : 8:18 PM
: 8:18 PM
are you dumb did u not read the comments above you...stfu with the fake tan shyt we were in mexico go screw...do me a favor and take this pic off DOUCHE BAG
# posted by : 8:32 PM
: 8:32 PM
@Anon 8:32PM
If you're in a photo and upset about the verbal smackdown you morally and spiritually deserve, email me and I'll take down the photo. Otherwise, douche-on!!
Douche on, indeed...
If you're in a photo and upset about the verbal smackdown you morally and spiritually deserve, email me and I'll take down the photo. Otherwise, douche-on!!
Douche on, indeed...
# posted by : 8:40 PM
: 8:40 PM
i can't believe we're arguing about whether this dipshit's tan is fake. whether or not it's fake, he deserves to have his elbow snapped by a kneebutt like breaking a hockey stick with your knee.
Looks like this dope forgot to remove his mandanna when he did his spray on orange thing. Whatadouche!
# posted by : 5:44 AM
: 5:44 AM
i think anon 832 got the threads mixed up and this was his attempt at a quote from heathers
My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, what do i look like mother calista?
My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, what do i look like mother calista?
HERE IS HIS FACEBOOK
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=36409131&hiq=lopese
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=36409131&hiq=lopese
# posted by : 11:09 AM
: 11:09 AM
Same pose on Facebook as on here? How did you find his Facebook page? By image search?
Or is he so universally known as a Mensa genius that his reputation precedes him?
Wait a minute.....
>CHOKE<
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Sorry about my facetiousness. I guess one gets that from being dead gay. Or prophetic (for once!):
Or, as the behemoth later paraphrased on Twitter: "SUCK IT, FAGGOTS! Ur jus jelous cuz i got a bitch!"
Just swap Twitter out with Facebook and.....
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Or is he so universally known as a Mensa genius that his reputation precedes him?
Wait a minute.....
>CHOKE<
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Sorry about my facetiousness. I guess one gets that from being dead gay. Or prophetic (for once!):
Or, as the behemoth later paraphrased on Twitter: "SUCK IT, FAGGOTS! Ur jus jelous cuz i got a bitch!"
Just swap Twitter out with Facebook and.....
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