Appalachian Bag? All that guy is missing is a jug with three Xs on it and a musket... maybe a trusty hound dog. He looks like a hick.

- Douchey Smurf
 

Stage 1 hipster-bag at the most.. I say Nottadouche. He's just changing shirts.
 

Ed Norton and the lead singer of the band Cake decided to have a love child and out he rolled. Who needs ebony and ivory? We have orange and funeral home white.

Further proof that if you play music, chicks ignore the ugly stick.
 

Speaking of Doyle from Slingblade...

DB1 your impeccable timing frightens me.
 

I'd hit it.

Norton 'bag? Doing gigs at the funeral home? Seems like a great way to meet vulnerable women. Score one for the good guys!
 

funeral crasher.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bMs04JK0BQ
 

That's her brother, Tim.
 

She's very attractive and he seems like a normal dude to me. Maybe not his best day, but nottadouche.
 

Notta...
 

I think that is Mike Modano the long time Dallas Stars hickey plater.

Bagtimus Prime
 

Sorry hockey player. Too much Night Train. The extreme hot is his wife. Is there a Stanley Cup exemption or the greatest American born hockey player exemption?

Bagtimus Prie
 

We need to keep the focus here folks.
Hick, Redneck, Gomer, old guy, Australiopithicus... it doesn't matter.

He is most definitely NOT a doucher. In fact, I don't think he's capable of it. And that just might be a good thing.
 

Darlene did the math and realized unwashed hitchhikers would in fact be cheaper than a new Sybian.
 

"Daddy's Little Cutie" - she sits on his lap and everything.
 

Facts:

1. FLip-flops are NOT shoes. Period. They are for going to the pool/spa/backyard. They look ten times as retarded on a man as they do on a woman.

2. She's adorable. However, scraping off that orange shit and getting her hair back to its original brunette would make her stratospherically hott.

3. If I had the space, the time and the means, that is EXACTLY how my house would be decorated. I would then accent it with my taxidermied animals and vintage embalming collection and scuff around like a victorian mad scientist all the time. I am consumed with rage and about to kick holes in the faux wood panelling on my walls.

4. He's not old. He has just made some poor lifestyle and fashion choices. Borderline hipster, I'm actually gonna give him a notta pass, but I'll step on his toes and tell him "Shoulda worn shoes, Hoss."
 

Not enough tats
No pathetic hand gestures
Complete lack of hair gel
Awsome living room decor

Verdict: Notadouche


But she's definite hot in that early stage of meth addiction sort of way
 

After further review: We have a "Where's Waldouche" thing working in the next room. So the possibility for doucheness is there.
 

@medusa

You just reminded me of a recently viewed clip on flip flops as they relate to health. A podiatrist was explaining how they have zero arch support, and they should be warn sparingly because of that. Cut to a woman visiting her general practitioner. The woman was about 75-100 pounds overweight and a constant flip flop wearer, and surprisingly enough, she was having knee problems. Her doctor told her to exercise, lose weight, and stop wearing flip flops all the damn time.

Cut to outside, where the woman gleefully told the interviewer that she would do none of those things, going so far as to change shoes when she went to the doctor to "trick him," then switching back to flip flops as soon as she left the office.

Yeah, way to teach that guy a lesson, Jabarella. Two of your blown out knees will teach that pointy-headed jerk.
 

Looks like a brothel and the "john" in the background is waiting for his turn.
 

Nottadouche
 

This is what douchebags in West Virginia look like
 

only thing wrong with her is her arms, i have seen kfc chicken wings with more meat...seriously, what kind of life gets lived that she could not accidentally build up some muscle.

only thing right about this guy is that he could be far worse..not quite a hick bag, but a fan of "americana" for sure
 

@ Douche Tarlick

I agree my good man. Chicks definitely ignore the ugly stick if you're in a band. Women can be unbelievably stupid.
 

This dude is probably in one of those "alt-country" bands. WTF is alt-country? How can country possibly be alternative?
 

The weekly? This guy is behind the times.
 

Half-nekkid bearded dude is as pasty white as buttermilk pancake batter, jes' beggin' fer a griddle.

Golden Popovers Greta is as tasty as warm, fresh maple syrup on melted butter.

Nothin' in the douche OR bidet department here....
 

@ Tom Choad's Ghost 2:33

My good man, please stroll over to your nearest YouTube.com and search for Chris Gaines. Therein lies your answer, my friend.

The only alternative to country is turning it off. Best wishes.


-The JimboDouche
 

Here's some alt-country at its finest if anybody really cares that much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biuHzcnEXf0
 

This looks like a recording studio. For whatever reason hot chicks dig choad that rock in any sorta band.
 

I believe he plays for that 'Hoobastank' band.
 

He should be smiling with that pseudo-blonde loveliness on his breast. Does he have all his teeth?
 

@ Mr. White:

"Jabbarella".


BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAA

Ok, seriously, when are we getting married.
 

He is sweet home alabama Douche.

She is smoking, delicious Jessica Simpson pre-fatass hot...
 

Shitless Old Guy has an interesting scar below his belly button, which is

a) Scar from a temporary ostomy.

b) Old c-section scar.

c) Scar from where a pissed off boyfriend of Hott Blonde shot him in a jealous rage

d) Headrest indentation for blow-jobbers at work
 

for once, i don't care who Shirtless Old Guy would vote for. but i AM interested in knowing who the hott blonde would vote for.

since she's seems to be a backstage pass kinda chick, she probably voted for Krackenbag.

come to think of it, i don't want to hear her reasons, no matter who she voted for. i just wanna do her.
 

She makes me want to sing country music.
 

Hes a friend of mine and the drummer for the band Hoobastank. Just saying. im pretty sure hes not a douche. Judging from the guitar cases im guessing hes back stage after a show.
 

"Hoobastank"? Bahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! What assclown came up with that absurd name????????
 

Whose butt stank? That fucking douchey bastards did! Goddamn Hippy!
 

hall of hotttt!!
 

Sounds like rockstar pass?

This pic looks like its from the days NIN recorded albums in Ann Rice's former home in New Orleans.
 

Hoobastank is a pretty good band....who cares about the name..it's not about the name it's about the music and btw i have met them many times and Chris isn't a douchebag and not even old....end of story.
 

Chris isn't a douchebag and Hoobastank is making a hell of alot more money than any of us on here with their "lame name" as some of you say..and i have heard dumber names than Hoobastank....so stop hating on him because he has a hot girlfriend and all you losers don't....mkay...
 

chris your a cool guy! definitely undouchy!
 

Not a douchebag, but for craps sake man, do some working out and maybe get something that might be classified as a tan... You're making some decent cash now, take a few hours a week off and take care of yourself...

The only douchey thing is letting someone take your photo in such a lackluster state. You're 35, you should know better by now. Find a shirt and put it on... :)
 

this guy seems cool...he's not gelled tatted or roided and I bet he has an income