Thursday, June 25, 2009
R.I.P. Michael Jackson
I have no idea how to pay adequate tribute to you on a site called Hot Chicks with Douchebags, Michael, so I'll just run a retro celeb hottie/douchey coupling featuring your early 1980s friends.
Andrew Ridgeley and Brooke Shields.
Comments:
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Moments after a friendly police officer snapped this photo, George Michael was seen following him into a nearby bathroom.
But George Michael is NOT douchey. He's GEORGE MICHAEL. Everyone that came AFTER is a douche.
# posted by 
: 5:38 PM
: 5:38 PM
Mom jeans??? You must be young. Those were de facto standard back in the day...
Thing is...today's moms were teens back in the day. They just never got over the whole High Waisted Jean style.
In 20 years...the Mom Jean will be low rise boot cut...
Thing is...today's moms were teens back in the day. They just never got over the whole High Waisted Jean style.
In 20 years...the Mom Jean will be low rise boot cut...
# posted by : 5:48 PM
: 5:48 PM
oh well it's a nicer gesture than some of the "celeb dedicated" sites are doing ... like perez hilton
# posted by : 5:52 PM
: 5:52 PM
moms are getting fatter and fatter each year and you are calling low rise boot cut??? oh anon why...
# posted by : 5:54 PM
: 5:54 PM
I'm pretty sure Michael Jackson died in '93. It just so happened that his animated corpse stopped moving today.
And why have we been talking about mom pants when there's a perfectly good leopard print outfit with a gold belt in the back?
@wheezer
lol
I'm pretty sure he's just doing this as a publicity stunt before his release of Thriller 2, ah thank you very much.
lol
I'm pretty sure he's just doing this as a publicity stunt before his release of Thriller 2, ah thank you very much.
You guys are all sick and twisted. This is way too soon to be making fun of a legend that has gone to that great Daycare in the sky.
It’s not like he was a heartless bastard who killed his wife, robbed a bank, or molested a few children…
… errr.
It’s not like he was a heartless bastard who killed his wife, robbed a bank, or molested a few children…
… errr.
Cold?
Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Fawcett walk into a build-a-bear. David Carradine strolls in behind them and says...
... yeah you're right... too soon.
Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon, and Farrah Fawcett walk into a build-a-bear. David Carradine strolls in behind them and says...
... yeah you're right... too soon.
I'm giving Michael Jackson notadouche. In fact, I'm going all the way and giving him notahuman. R.I.P. anyway, Michael.
# posted by : 6:34 PM
: 6:34 PM
A couple of points:
1. I'm giving Michael Jackson a nottahuman
2. How could I not have known George Michael was gay back then? (To be fair, I also had no idea Queen was gay)
1. I'm giving Michael Jackson a nottahuman
2. How could I not have known George Michael was gay back then? (To be fair, I also had no idea Queen was gay)
# posted by : 6:37 PM
: 6:37 PM
I was at that concert. It was great until George Michael propositioned my boyfriend from the stage. Worse, it made my boyfriend really, really happy
# posted by : 6:50 PM
: 6:50 PM
MJ really died from food poisoning. He had a 7 year old hotdog in his mouth.
Nothing is sacred.
Pennywise
P.S. I'm just passing this on; the bad karma hit the guy at work who thought it up one hour post mortem.
Nothing is sacred.
Pennywise
P.S. I'm just passing this on; the bad karma hit the guy at work who thought it up one hour post mortem.
# posted by : 7:10 PM
: 7:10 PM
R.I.P. Michael Jackson....
I know your life was a Thriller when you Beat It to the Man in the Mirror, it's just Human Nature, and when Billie Jean Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' you were like Why You Wanna Trip On Me? But Whatever Happens we know They Don't Care About Us, and your Personal Touch of The Lost Children, but That's What Love Is Made Of when you're a Smooth Criminal.
I know your life was a Thriller when you Beat It to the Man in the Mirror, it's just Human Nature, and when Billie Jean Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' you were like Why You Wanna Trip On Me? But Whatever Happens we know They Don't Care About Us, and your Personal Touch of The Lost Children, but That's What Love Is Made Of when you're a Smooth Criminal.
Geez you guys are pretty hard! I never cared for his pedophilia and whole weird go out, his Jehovah Witness gig and effeminate affectations, but his Dad did screw him up big time. I still wonder how you can make $ 1 bil plus and die $500 mil in debt. Lucky for me I'll never find out, on either account.
How did we miss the George Michael gay thing? Seems so clear in retrospect...
How did we miss the George Michael gay thing? Seems so clear in retrospect...
# posted by : 7:45 PM
: 7:45 PM
P.S. What kind of child beating, money grubbing dad names one of his (black) kids after a Yugolsavian dictator? An ignoramus, I guess...
# posted by : 7:47 PM
: 7:47 PM
still give "Off The Wall" an occasional spin...
there was greatness once & very valuable contributions to pop culture...
then he lost his mind, tried to become white & Sgt. Pepper while groping ill children
R. I. P. you sick fuck!
there was greatness once & very valuable contributions to pop culture...
then he lost his mind, tried to become white & Sgt. Pepper while groping ill children
R. I. P. you sick fuck!
David Carradine, Ed McMahon, then Farrah and Michael?
I'll bet Martin Mull is a scared shitless right about now.
I'll bet Martin Mull is a scared shitless right about now.
@ DarkSock, 8:19 PM
That was probably the funniest thing I've ever read. The kind of funny where I'm pissed at myself for knowing I couldn't have come up with something like that even in my finest moments.
That was probably the funniest thing I've ever read. The kind of funny where I'm pissed at myself for knowing I couldn't have come up with something like that even in my finest moments.
"I Want You Back" is a brilliant pop record and one of my 100 best singles of the 20th Century.
I also have a very low tolerance for pedophiles.
It's all so very conflicting...
I also have a very low tolerance for pedophiles.
It's all so very conflicting...
@Dark Sock
Thanks much...Martin Mull might indeed have reason to look over his shoulder for the Grim Reaper. However, he has yet to marry a step daughter (so far as we know).
Thanks much...Martin Mull might indeed have reason to look over his shoulder for the Grim Reaper. However, he has yet to marry a step daughter (so far as we know).
# posted by : 8:35 PM
: 8:35 PM
macauley-c was not my lover
he's just a kid i could not get drunk
but the kid is not well hung
he claims that i was the one, i couldn't fit his gaping bung...
eee! heee heee!
he's just a kid i could not get drunk
but the kid is not well hung
he claims that i was the one, i couldn't fit his gaping bung...
eee! heee heee!
you gotta figure people have to stop blaming the corey's for being so into drugs and liquor at a young age, i mean with michael jackson running around loose, having a tolerance was self defense, no?
and what about drew barrymore, the poor girl did everything she could to throw herself at michael. how could she know he didn't swing that way.pre-teen fag hags are sad indeed.
and what about drew barrymore, the poor girl did everything she could to throw herself at michael. how could she know he didn't swing that way.pre-teen fag hags are sad indeed.
I do indeed get your Martin Mull reference, Darksock. And speaking of my gen, isn't that Edith Prickley in the background?
And ooooooooh, Brooke Shields. I've had a bone for her for over 25 years. I keep it in a box under the floorboards. (ba-rum BUM kissssssh!)
And ooooooooh, Brooke Shields. I've had a bone for her for over 25 years. I keep it in a box under the floorboards. (ba-rum BUM kissssssh!)
Kidding.
But seriously, he was a great talk show host here in Los Angeles for a long time.
R.I.P.
But seriously, he was a great talk show host here in Los Angeles for a long time.
R.I.P.
# posted by : 9:29 PM
: 9:29 PM
well we know george michael, andrew ridgley nor michaeljacko came between her and he calvins.
this could be the first virgin hott chick in site history...which is far more important than the death of some paedo-singer...
this could be the first virgin hott chick in site history...which is far more important than the death of some paedo-singer...
show some love for the ORIGINAL HOT chick with douchebag Farrah Fawcett.
Because Ryan O"Neal is a psycho douche.
and Farrah's boobies on T shirts were banned @ my school in 1977.
Because Ryan O"Neal is a psycho douche.
and Farrah's boobies on T shirts were banned @ my school in 1977.
# posted by : 11:19 PM
: 11:19 PM
Wasn't the company that just came out with "JoJo" about to do a follow-up with a "Jesus Juice"-branded drink?
Coulda cashed in Mike if you'd only held on for one more day. (fuck, that's Wilson Philips!)
Coulda cashed in Mike if you'd only held on for one more day. (fuck, that's Wilson Philips!)
# posted by : 11:50 PM
: 11:50 PM
Thank God Flavor Flav showed up at Mike's to help out!
It could've gone so much worse.
[wheew!]
It could've gone so much worse.
[wheew!]
# posted by : 11:55 PM
: 11:55 PM
Where we might have lost one idol, at least Corey Feldman and Brian Austin Green are still around.
-I don't know if torches get passed or anything, but this reminds me of the day when Jagr scored more points than Gretzky...
-I don't know if torches get passed or anything, but this reminds me of the day when Jagr scored more points than Gretzky...
# posted by : 11:57 PM
: 11:57 PM
Is the summer tour still on?
A little sand and some Andrew McCarthy and you could pull off the "Weekend At Bernie's IV"-vibe quite nicely.
A little sand and some Andrew McCarthy and you could pull off the "Weekend At Bernie's IV"-vibe quite nicely.
# posted by : 12:02 AM
: 12:02 AM
Going forward from understudy, the role of creepy old white guy will now be played by Hugh Grant.
# posted by : 12:05 AM
: 12:05 AM
Amazing you can come up with Off the Wall and Thriller, and then fully jump the shark like almost no one before. He always wanted to be Elvis. Pretty much went out like him...
I'm sure some will think it's in poor taste, but for those haven't seen it, get a gander at this. One look and you'll agree that there was at least one person with worst taste than any of us:
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/04/17/goodbye-brain-sorry-i-accidentally-exploded-you
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
I'm sure some will think it's in poor taste, but for those haven't seen it, get a gander at this. One look and you'll agree that there was at least one person with worst taste than any of us:
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/04/17/goodbye-brain-sorry-i-accidentally-exploded-you
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
# posted by : 12:09 AM
: 12:09 AM
This just in: Apparently Eastern Europe and Japan Now Completely Inconsolable.
# posted by : 12:13 AM
: 12:13 AM
F$^&, there goes that pre-teen chastity belt I was gonna pitch to Billy Mays.
# posted by : 12:18 AM
: 12:18 AM
In lieu of flowers, the Jackson family requests you send your charitable contributions to NAMBLA instead.
# posted by : 12:26 AM
: 12:26 AM
@Doucheminster Fuller
And by ‘we all regret,’ I assume you mean something other than being torn asunder by his own terrible devices.
And by ‘we all regret,’ I assume you mean something other than being torn asunder by his own terrible devices.
# posted by : 12:27 AM
: 12:27 AM
i can't believe people actually will make comments like this.. unsensitive assholes...
# posted by : 12:43 AM
: 12:43 AM
Sorry. You're right. Sensitive assholes were a very big part of Michael's life.
Point taken, sir.
Point taken, sir.
# posted by : 12:44 AM
: 12:44 AM
@ Scrötinger’s Cat
Given the pop culture subject, I was thinking of MJ in the David Gale (forget the character's name) role in Stuart Gordon's Re-animator rather than the HPL original stories.
Given the pop culture subject, I was thinking of MJ in the David Gale (forget the character's name) role in Stuart Gordon's Re-animator rather than the HPL original stories.
On a serious note Im glad to see MJ getting bashed here, because I was sickened by the support the baby-raping bastard got when he was alive. I've been avoiding "tributes" like I have words with the s replaced by z.
On a far less serious note anyone who saw the Wham video "Wake me up before you go go." and did not at least wonder if George Michael was gay should subtract three points from their current score.
On a far less serious note anyone who saw the Wham video "Wake me up before you go go." and did not at least wonder if George Michael was gay should subtract three points from their current score.
# posted by : 2:24 AM
: 2:24 AM
Yeah because being acquitted of crimes in the U.S.A means you are guilty these days. People only believe in the justice system when it goes in their favor. The U.S has become a joke within a joke.
# posted by : 4:57 AM
: 4:57 AM
He kept up his charitable work to kids by donating his organs.
But then he died.
But then he died.
# posted by : 5:37 AM
: 5:37 AM
Michael Jackson was a low life dirty mother f**ker pedophile who should have been tortured to death for his heinous crimes many years ago, why people mourn his death is beyond me it should be a time of celebration
# posted by : 6:16 AM
: 6:16 AM
Seriously folks.
I saw last night a snippet of an interview that MJ did with ABC news where he is holding hands with a 12-year old boy and actually saying (paraphrasing):
"There is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with children."
WOW! I knew that there was something wrong in this guy's head but to utter that comment with such conviction was just sickening. Just the thought of me sleeping with young boys makes want to shoot myself but to him it was natural to do so.
I saw last night a snippet of an interview that MJ did with ABC news where he is holding hands with a 12-year old boy and actually saying (paraphrasing):
"There is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with children."
WOW! I knew that there was something wrong in this guy's head but to utter that comment with such conviction was just sickening. Just the thought of me sleeping with young boys makes want to shoot myself but to him it was natural to do so.
I can't imagine the effort it must take to patrol all the internets to find insensitive comments about MJ and respond accordingly. It's like Hercules and the Augean stables up in this bitch.
Confirmation of Michael Jackson's death have come through - he died of
food poisoning - he ate 12yr old nuts
Apparently Michael Jackson died in the children's ward after having a
massive stroke
Out of respect, McDonalds have released the Mc Jackson burger, 50 year
old meat between 10 year old buns
Michael Jackson has had to cancel a few dates for the summer. timmy aged
6 and jonny aged 9 are said to be devastated.
The fact that he is now 99% plastic, rather than bury him, they're going
to melt him down & make Lego blocks so the kids can play with him for a
change.
Jockeys at Belmont are going to wear black armbands out of respect for
Michael Jackson who successfully rode more 3 year olds than anyone in
living memory.
Jacko died of a heart attack this morning- shocked when he discovered
that boyz II men was a band, not a delivery service
Apparently his death was drug-related...CNN news saying they found Class
A drugs in the bathroom, Class B drugs in his kitchen...and Kindergarden Class 4C in
his bedroom.
food poisoning - he ate 12yr old nuts
Apparently Michael Jackson died in the children's ward after having a
massive stroke
Out of respect, McDonalds have released the Mc Jackson burger, 50 year
old meat between 10 year old buns
Michael Jackson has had to cancel a few dates for the summer. timmy aged
6 and jonny aged 9 are said to be devastated.
The fact that he is now 99% plastic, rather than bury him, they're going
to melt him down & make Lego blocks so the kids can play with him for a
change.
Jockeys at Belmont are going to wear black armbands out of respect for
Michael Jackson who successfully rode more 3 year olds than anyone in
living memory.
Jacko died of a heart attack this morning- shocked when he discovered
that boyz II men was a band, not a delivery service
Apparently his death was drug-related...CNN news saying they found Class
A drugs in the bathroom, Class B drugs in his kitchen...and Kindergarden Class 4C in
his bedroom.
# posted by : 8:00 AM
: 8:00 AM
It would be rather amusing if they have him stuffed and mounted next to Bubbles.
Then John Merrick's descendents can purchase him and put him on tour.
Then John Merrick's descendents can purchase him and put him on tour.
All kidding and cruel barbs aside, he was an inspiration to young black men everywhere, that in America if you worked hard enough and paid your dues you could die as a very rich white woman.
Its not a MJ joke, but still appropriate:
A pedophile and an 8-year old boy were walking through a dark, scary forest. The boy says, "Geez, it's sure dark and scary in here."
The pedophile turns to him and says, "How do you think I feel? I'm going to have to walk back all by myself."
A pedophile and an 8-year old boy were walking through a dark, scary forest. The boy says, "Geez, it's sure dark and scary in here."
The pedophile turns to him and says, "How do you think I feel? I'm going to have to walk back all by myself."
# posted by : 9:48 AM
: 9:48 AM
What's the difference between Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson?
About three hours.
About three hours.
# posted by : 9:49 AM
: 9:49 AM
And:
A man hiking comes upon a small boy, crying by the edge of a cliff.
"What's wrong?" asked the man.
"My family was camping and the RV rolled over the edge of the cliff with my parents still inside" replied the boy.
The man unzipped his pants and said, "Wow, this just isn't your lucky day."
A man hiking comes upon a small boy, crying by the edge of a cliff.
"What's wrong?" asked the man.
"My family was camping and the RV rolled over the edge of the cliff with my parents still inside" replied the boy.
The man unzipped his pants and said, "Wow, this just isn't your lucky day."
# posted by : 9:50 AM
: 9:50 AM
A trifecta of death versification this week...
A side-kick
A hot chick
A spotted dick
Let's leave Carradine out of this, he didn't pass on in a close enough time-frame.
A side-kick
A hot chick
A spotted dick
Let's leave Carradine out of this, he didn't pass on in a close enough time-frame.
# posted by : 10:27 AM
: 10:27 AM
This Just In: Pope Benedict XVI Has Decided To Canonize Mike As a Catholic Saint.
-weird, eh?
-weird, eh?
# posted by : 1:20 PM
: 1:20 PM
I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "fucking kids!", and it played Michael Jackson.
# posted by : 1:21 PM
: 1:21 PM
Why did Michael Jackson run to K Mart?
Because he heard little boys pants were half off!
Because he heard little boys pants were half off!
# posted by : 1:24 PM
: 1:24 PM
@MoeDouche, 6:33 a.m. -
I remember that as well - he also gleefully recapped how he and the Culkin boys used to "JAM in the bed."
I filled a nearby trash can with vomit.
I remember that as well - he also gleefully recapped how he and the Culkin boys used to "JAM in the bed."
I filled a nearby trash can with vomit.
From a friend:
"What a coincidence that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died on the same day.
One played with Majors, the other with Minors!"
"What a coincidence that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died on the same day.
One played with Majors, the other with Minors!"
Goodbye, Michael, you are now "Dust in the Wind."
Some day each of us will be, too.
Some day each of us will be, too.
# posted by : 1:53 AM
: 1:53 AM
I'm appalled at the outpouring of SICK humor following Michael Jackson's death!
I mean, think of all the people he's touched, especially the children.
I mean, think of all the people he's touched, especially the children.
# posted by : 5:19 AM
: 5:19 AM
On the bright side, however, Wal-Mart is now offering all Jackson 5 music at 20% off!
# posted by : 5:21 AM
: 5:21 AM
And what do fat chicks have in common with Michael Jackson?
They can't keep their hands off twinkies and they're dead by 50.
They can't keep their hands off twinkies and they're dead by 50.
# posted by : 5:22 AM
: 5:22 AM
Off the Wall - first real make-out session. RIP Michael, you beautiful bastard.
# posted by : 8:10 AM
: 8:10 AM
Till yesterday I was pretty sure its just a publicity stunt, giving his upcoming tour a hike.
# posted by : 2:53 AM
: 2:53 AM
When they did the "Y" incision in his autoposy, I wonder if a little alien bastard burst out, scurried across the table and out the window...
...and now, exiting from this same green earth, Billy Mays...who marketed the greatest potential douchebag product ever: Orange Glo.
It's a douchesplosion of synchronicities to lose EdMcM, FF, MJ and BM in the space of less than one week.
My big head will be pondering this the rest of the summer.
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It's a douchesplosion of synchronicities to lose EdMcM, FF, MJ and BM in the space of less than one week.
My big head will be pondering this the rest of the summer.
# posted by : 11:18 PM
: 11:18 PM << Home
