hahahahahaha...OMG that just made my day. Fear not good sir- those two fingers will come in handy one day, while you are swiping my debit card at 7-11.
 

Who in the name of GOD decided that it was okay to use z's instead of s's? I swear by Thor's juicy testicles, they will die. I can only pay it will be slowly.
 

*pray that is. Although, I would not hesitate to pay for it as well.
 

nice pic...bikini boobie slip is oddly sexy.
 

In looking at this picture, something tells me that Peaches drew the shortest straw, when positions and partners were announced at the Doggystyle Olympics.
 

I've never been referred to as "fuccin dead gay" before. I'm really not sure how to feel about that.
 

Humanity takes another spin around the drain on the way down.

- Douchey Smurf
 

yup... Peaches you're still as douchey as a discarded tampon
 

It seems that the 1980s have infiltrated the world of choads and douchebags or is is the Kayne West influence? Either way, all angles are dripping in baggery - the colored shades are fantastic.

Now Peaches - I didn't think it was possible but even you were able to make Tom Cruise's Maverick look far more twink then the Xenu lover ever could....job well done guido.
 

Every douchebag should have a hat that says I ♥ DIRTY GIRLS like the dude on the right.

Or should that be GURLZ?

Brunette with the boobie halfway showing would be giving me wood if I had a penis.
 

Peaches is goin' colon spelunking in TFU's hospital room.

TFU needs to be beaten severely about the head and neck for his destruction of the English language.
 

1. Jesus if he said he were FROM Acapulco and grew up poor and had to sell cans to afford books to learn that much English I'd feel for him and send a donation...he makes a good point, day laborers and those who slave in the sun of South American, African, Middle Eastern and Southeast Asia to earn their daily bread DO get real tans....but no, this guy's prbably from Cleveland and pretending to be from "Strong"Island cuz the culture of Cleveland is so un-sure of itself that we - cue Trainspotting "it's Shite being Scottish speech"- "cant even pick a decent culture to be colonized by" and tools wanna seem "East Coast"/street around here not realizing we're "the lowest of the lowest."

2. I LOVE Peache's Point. In fact his move is so consisternyl strong like good branding ala Nike and Coca Cola should be that I call anyone who points at a camera Peaches just to see if they get the joke/are readers....

Army of Douche-ness
 

Alright, I think I'm going to have to buy a copy of the douche dictionary because I didn't understand half of that. "Hatas?" WTF? Are we all setting up for some weird ass tea party where a girl in a blue dress will be joining us? People who try to insult me but can't even be bothered to use any form of grammar make me laugh at them more. You're not helping your case guy. This wouldn't even make sense if you applied French grammar rules to it. I like blond in the back, she doesn't seem at tainted. Brunette aviator glasses looks like her lips got stuck in a pool drain.

I <3 dirty girls too, but not that kind of dirty. That's the kind of dirty that needs to be hosed down with a quart of bleach first. Like your shoes after stepping in a steaming pile of dog poo. Can't get too close else the spray back will get you. I'm sure you could find enough peroxide between both blonds here for that purpose.
 

It's not often that I'm instantly persuaded-- nay, converted-- by an author with a sublime gift for rhetoric, regardless of his or her verbal charms.

But TtFU has woven a golden tapestry of prose that seems to speak directly to my soul. With a mere sprinkling of simple words, he has moved me... He's made me laugh, he's made me cry, he's made me think.

And while I admit that I had to read it a few times before it's dense layers of meaning began to sink in, I compare the experience to tackling Joyce's "Ulysses" for the first time (and clearly, the attentive reader will quickly pick up on TtFU's work as a brilliant homage to Joyce). In other words, yes, it's difficult material; but the reader will be rewarded exponentially by his or her efforts.

TtFU has rekindled my love affair with the written word.
 

That should be "I like blond in the back, she doesn't seem as tainted." Fucking a, coffee needs to kick in already.
 

Upward? UPWARD?!?
Oh c'mon Peaches, don't you know not to f*ck with the classics?

It appears that a bag's forehead sheen ripens with age, much like the silverback gorilla.
 

I've been watching her boob for 10 minutes now waiting for it to fall out.
 

"fuccin dead gay"? Is that like "You Porn"? Douchetards.
 

L is for how this guy Loves to be a douche.

Boobs on the left! mmmmm
 

It's almost like this dope was afraid he would get a nottadouche, and had to set the record straight. What a jackass, 10th grade drop-out,and a genuine douchebag!
 

I despise myself for even knowing who this uber-bag is, but...

Is "Peaches'" real identity Steven Colletti from MTV's Laguna Beach? The (ahem) surfer who dated Hayden Panettiere?

I'm going to go cry and repeatedly punch myself in the face...
 

second we all in acapulco.... second that girl isnt his sista...

Hey unatural freakishly large forehead guy i understand how typing really consumes most of that mush behing those glasses but how bout goin with first, second, third next time to give you a running start
 

All Hail the king of point , A new variation with the 45 degree tilt up. Like Gator there and a few others no one can deny this pure genius, achieves so much with so little effort
I bow to you sir and by bow i mean pull my pants down sit and take a giant Dump
 

The grammar knowledge really makes this priceless!
 

And here I thought it was an "L" for luser!
 

I walked away from that email perplexed, I actually didn't understand half of what he was on about. Then while I was taking a dump I realized "Hatas" was some conjugation of the word "Haters"

I've met autistic brick walls more coherent than him...
 

He makes me almost understand why all the phone support jobs are going overseas to people who can barely speak English, and when they do, its with a heavy accent...because at least it's still English...
 

@Reader Mike

His missives put me more in mind of early-period Pynchon, personally, but of course Pynchon clearly reference "Finnegan's Wake" in his last book, "Against the Day," so perhaps we're responding to the same tropes?

Fuccin dead gay to you, too, Forehead Guy. Fuccin dead gay to you.
 

We're all just a bunch of fuccin dead gay dudes fags on a site with less traffic than Perez Hilton's Twitter page.....
 

It's ironic that "I heart dirty girls" hat is pictured next to the only woman I've seen on this site who's virginal cleanliness and purity reminds me of a warm spring day touched by morning dew.
 

Im sorry, but that shit's better than "kickin it real grande"
 

P.S. to TtFU - you tweeze your brows. I belive that qualifies you for notaman status.
 

@ Reader Mike

Thank you for that.
 

How did Rob Lowe and his green-rimmed shades get lucky enough to hang with Peaches?

Or wait.....is Robert Downey, Jr. on the sauce again and douchin' it up?
 

Why do these choadlings keep insisting on putting an extra "c" in Acapulo?

If one c is enough for Joey, it's enough for all you playaz. He was slurpin' the doodie p before most of you even knew what AXE smelled like. Kneel before your King, troglodytes.
 

"what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. "
 

Is that blue steel? Oh god its so beautiful.
 

Is that an 8oz keg cup?
 

Anon 3:16... really the most brilliant part of that movie AND applicable frequently to everyday life. I salute you, Sir.
 

Gotta hand it to Peaches, he's still got it.

TtFU, you're apparently as smart as you look, congrats.
 

I always get the chills when a HoS douchebag transcends his douchitude and actually becomes likeable in my minds eye.

DonkeyDouche found a place in all our hearts by submitting an actual literate email (who knew, right?), and now Peaches' collective has actually crossed over from hatred and mocking to laughable amiability.

I actually enjoy seeing this pic.

Kind of like a movie that is so bad, it's actually good.

add Peaches to the short list of DBs that I no longer mock with hatred
 

So Untannery, you're saying we "hate faggots"? And that we also hate you?

Post hoc ergo propter hoc, this is your way of telling us coming out of the closet to tell us that you are indeed gay? Then again, I'm sure you're convinced that I'm the one using the 'Faggot Talk' right now.

Speaking of inner voices outwardly confessing themselves, I think Peaches is trying to tell us that he has finally accepted what a Loser he is. Jesus, this guy is not only taking his Bagdom right off a cliff, he's putting a ramp at the ledge....The Peaches Point may change, but it will never die. That is, until I take a Louisville Slugger to his dome.
 

Maybe I'm blinded by the forehead sheen but am I supposed to be a hat that is also a bundle of sticks or am I Perez Hilton's milliner?

OK, that isn't going to penetrate any better than suggesting TtFU has Gravity's Rainbow disappearing up his ass. So let's drop down to the lower rungs on the monkey bars for a bit.

Hey, TtFU. Hate to tell you this but I'm really your father. Your Mom gave me a hand job. I came on her shoes and the flies did the rest.

Hey, TtFU. Hatas saying you like to lick leather cheerios and all you worried about is that you tan is being misrepresented as fake? THAT sounds fuccin dead gay, bro.
 

@jonezy

I knew this picture reminded me of something! Battlefield Earth!

Look, John's even got the point down:

http://ken-jennings.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/battlefield_earth.JPG

So bad, I laughed all the way through.
 

Finally someone to help me out with my identity crisis. All this time I was a faggot hata, and it took me this fuccin asshole to realize it. Thanks, TtFU. I owe you.
 

Oh, yeah. Almost forgot. There's way too much pitching and catching going on in the Yankee's locker room. Better tilt that hat so the logo don't show Bro. Else your sister gonna worry 'bout what team you really play 4.
 

@ jonezy
I will still taunt peaches but if i was going to be a true douche bag, i would want to be peaches, only because i'm lazy and like i said in an earlier post he puts out no effort.
But i understand your point eh eh
 

my sweaty ball sack is better looking then this group of run down herion addicts! What a bunch of closet dick sucking dude ettes! I wanna take my foot and jam it in that fucking poser in the middle. make him blow snot out his nose cause my foot is going down his neck.
 

All your faggot are belong to us.
 

Peaches hath provide a new language titled: douchebonics
a.k.a all I have is a G.E.D. but look at my cool jizz stained hair
 

Judging from his eloquent reply, I'm assuming he was killing time in acapulco [sic] until he started teaching at MIT.
 

It's true dat we r all faggot hatas yo! That's why we hate you so much....:-)
 

My word, It's as if someone took a loosened wire coathanger, shoved it firmly into my right nostril(which is less spacious due to a deviated septum), hooked onto the front of my brain, and pulled out a sizable chunk. I feel numb, detached and insipid after having read both of posts so closely together. I'm really can't come up with anything clever after being forcefully lobotomized in such a mannner. I feel no rage, no bliss, simply....bewilderment? As if something were taken from me and I'm not sure what...a vague sense of loss....

Oh, wait, everything returned as soon as I looked at the titties on the left. Where was I? Oh, yes. Acapulco, must nuke it from orbit. After that, be sure to grab some DDT from the local feed shop down here. Looking at this photo, I'm thinking there's some major infestation happening in this year's crop.
 

What the fuck was that, some sort of guido ebonics!? I could probably speak clearer under water with a mouth full of marbles.
 

I think someone mailed DB1 an entry from the Necroscroticon (credit to Vinny Scumbaglia) because it IS erroding my santiy.

It is a dark passage not meant for our fragile human psyche. That is the only thing that makes sense.

I mean nothing human could have written it.
 

that smelly fuck in the middle use to date my brother!
 

Sup broheims?!? yall just a bunch a hatas n fuccen cold dead gay, yo!

Oh wait, was I supposed to use any punctuation? Am I even supposed to know what it is?
 

I had to translate that little paragraph he sent, and the coda, and it's all derived from computerese. In an ironic twist, it's a form of visual dialect, whereas most dialects we encounter are first HEARD, and not read.

Not any more. We are seeing the morphing of computerized written language forms. For us who don't spend any time at all near people who actually talk like this, it can be shocking.

Think of it as an homage to FLYTEETH, who has indulged us all with hilarious garrilosities.

That said, it's obvious that Peaches is now hanging out with the hip Greens of the eyeglass and tee-shirt variety.

He bears the DOUBLE-MARK of the DOUCHE on his forehead, and a hand that suspiciously looks like the early stages of Depuytrens syndrome with its tell-tale bump on the upper palm beneath the first and second digits.

Still, we are not so taken with this as we are with the luscious Hott of the heavenly blue corset top hiding a peekaboo orange bikini barely covering her nip. Her glowing smile, romping long hair and round white disc earring add a little extra joie de vivre to that peek-a-boo cleavite of her right boobie. She steals the show from Peaches and the rest of the crew, even spikey-haired Green Frames, as she peeks with one eye at the camera and a hearty inward tilt toward our subject.

She is the Creme de la Creme, and Peaches is just, er, well, Peaches.

And they both could use a little Nose-Kote. Just sayin'.
 

Note, his point is turned upward, together with his thumb forming the shape of an "L"

What could it mean?? What could it mean.

--VS
 

Give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters and theoretically they will tap out Shakespeare's entire body of work.

Give three or four monkeys an afternoon with a Speak-N-Spell and a couple of bananas and they'll crank out TtFU's rant with time to spare.
 

HOW DOES HE KNOW WE'RE ALL FAGGOT HATAS?!?!?!?!?!?!?

What are we going to do now?? How am I going to tell my parents? God my life is so over!!!

waaaah!
 

Oh, gee, anyone with a Richard Simmons photo on his avatar is gonna be taken seriously on this site? C'mon Reader Mike, get real.
 

honestly, i've never been all that impressed by the hotts that Peaches have hooked up with.

but this time it's different.

i can now yell "FUCK PEACHES" and hear my voice echoing off into the night.
 

WTF is a "Hata?" Unless he is making some odd historical reference to the infamous WW I spy, the exotic Dutch/Javanese temptress, the dyslexic Hata Mari? But what then? Are we all Dutch Javanese? Are we dyslexic? I am nonplussed.
 

Anon 3:16 @ 12:49 FTW
 

@ Rumpelscroteskin

Look, I lost 39 lbs. on Deal-A-Meal. I owe this man my life, dammit.
 

Peaches is simply pointing at an out-of-frame photographer on a ladder.

All is still right.
 

I can't see too good. Is that Bill douchespear over there?
 

Was that even English? I don't speak douche. Someone translate please?
 

Liberace is dead gay. Just sayin.

-Douche Bauer
 

Give it up for the fuccin dead stupid douche.
 

I didn't know you could type with a 'douche accent....
 

looks like a bunch of douchebags ready for a suck cock fest-a thon
 

i think this lame crew is ready for an all male butt raping session!
 

I have no clue what that rambling idiotic statement means, however, I know Jay, very well. This post (not to mention the poster) is so stupid and childish. I hope that nobody thinks this gets to him, he laughs. Jay is awesome, so fun, and HOTT! Guys hate because Jay can get any girl he wants and does. Girls hate because they want him and someone hotter got to him first or he blew them off for another girl.
Oh nnd for you pathetic people who can translate that mess above, you seriously need to get a life.
 

Who else thinks that Russia bears walking the streets, and the vodka flows like water?
And anyone can know that in this country the most beautiful girls?