Friday, June 26, 2009
Friday Thoughts and Links
Random thoughts on this rainy/sunny New York Friday as yesterday's Shmeg Warrior also finds he needs his gallstone removed:
The Michael Jackson tributes continue, and all I can think about is Rockwell.
Poor Rockwell. Who will sing his chorus now. Won't somebody think of Rockwell?
What's with celebrity 1980s muscle-guys doing cameos in comedies where they beat up one of the lead characters? First it was Lou Ferrigno in I Love You, Man putting the sleeper hold on Jason Segel. Then Mike Tyson punching the fat bearded guy in The Hangover. What's next? Please let it be Mr. T punching out Mylie Cyrus.
It could happen.
Here's your Friday Links:
Cracked.com with a nice decoding of tatt location meaning. Good work Cracked. I always preferred you to Mad.
I can't tell if I find this new Burger King ad campaign hilarious or desperate for attention, or both.
Douchery in Deutschbagland. For the historians among us, an important artifact of Germanic douchescrotery is Leni Riefenstahl's 1930s work on the power of fascist name-branding, Triumph of the Gel.
Yeah. I just made a Leni Riefenstahl joke. Beat that, Perez Hilton.
If you thought future Hall of Scrote member E-Blo would finally show a facial reaction when embracing a half-naked guy instead of a boozy bar hott, you thought wrong.
Ed Hardy is now branding sneakers. And another piece of the future shrivels up and dies like beached plankton.
Breaking News: Hollywood Giggle Hott Anna Faris marries a goofy flagsack. Yeah, he's pretty much a nottadouche. But I have a huge thing for Faris.
The new Axe Bodyspray "dark temptation" chocolate guy commercial is a bit much.
And finally... for another great week of 'bag hunting in a very odd week of cultural disruptions, here's your Friday Ass Pear. You've earned it.
Go forth. Drink. Liberate a boobie hottie. If you are a 'bag huntress, get a douche to hit on you, then kick him in the nads. For it's the drinkin' hour. And your humble narrator's got a bunch of PBRs chillin' in the fridge.
Comments:
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I would throw my head all into that Ass Pear.
I would also throw my foot into E-Blo's Ass Face.
I would also throw my foot into E-Blo's Ass Face.
# posted by 
: 12:55 PM
: 12:55 PM
Outstanding thoughts and links this week...and it has been full of cultural disruptions. Drink I shall!
# posted by : 12:55 PM
: 12:55 PM
Very thoughtful, provocative, insightful, and CAHB inspiring post this week DB1.
That BK ad makes me almost not sad that American prosperity is on the way to it's funeral this week.
Almost.
That BK ad makes me almost not sad that American prosperity is on the way to it's funeral this week.
Almost.
Rockwell, well thats one song that wont leave my head tonight, thanks.
Cracked is genius with the tatt map. Especially the "I will never have a job that pays taxes" zone. Hmm, no taxes.....
Burger King will likely run this add where it is completely visible to my kids, and possibly target them with the add, just like the the sponge bob add with the girls shaking their square booties to a rap song. Thanks BK for nothing. You suck as bad as your food.
No one should wear that flag suit in public, but Anna is nice.
FAP keeps me coming back each week.
Dr. DB
Cracked is genius with the tatt map. Especially the "I will never have a job that pays taxes" zone. Hmm, no taxes.....
Burger King will likely run this add where it is completely visible to my kids, and possibly target them with the add, just like the the sponge bob add with the girls shaking their square booties to a rap song. Thanks BK for nothing. You suck as bad as your food.
No one should wear that flag suit in public, but Anna is nice.
FAP keeps me coming back each week.
Dr. DB
oh E-Blo, just because there's this rumour that sculptors see their eventual masterpiece in the rock as seen as they see it doesn't mean you should wait around for the sculptor to see you. If it's meant to happen, it will.
Army of DOuche-ness
Army of DOuche-ness
# posted by : 1:18 PM
: 1:18 PM
Man, now I feel like a douche with my tattoos. Oh well, I love them and it's too late to get them removed anyways.
I bow to Douche Wayne.....
Motorcross poser
Has Harley attitude with
tricycle street cred.
-- Douche Wayne
Motorcross poser
Has Harley attitude with
tricycle street cred.
-- Douche Wayne
if you click the next photo button on the Deutschbagland link you will find two German Hotts mackin' on each other
cheers
cheers
I have a tattoo on my inner forearm, and I pay taxes. Guess I shot that map all to hell, didn't I?
Anna Faris' tubby dude gives fat bozos like me hope. Nottadouche, but dude, really, think about what you're doing with the trunks, man.
The Shmeg warrior pic, though, it kills me inside. Why? Why must you do this to me peroxide Bleeth? Why do you hate me so?
Hey look ass pear!
Anna Faris' tubby dude gives fat bozos like me hope. Nottadouche, but dude, really, think about what you're doing with the trunks, man.
The Shmeg warrior pic, though, it kills me inside. Why? Why must you do this to me peroxide Bleeth? Why do you hate me so?
Hey look ass pear!
E-Blo: Serena Williams called - she needs her tennis vest back for a match at Wimbledon tomorrow
# posted by : 3:02 PM
: 3:02 PM
Why shouldn't Ed Hardy release a sneaker line? Hell if I was CEO there we'd have a line of everything the douchebag wears, including Ed Hardy Mandannas, Ed Hardy Bling, Ed Hardy gel, you name it. "If you build it, the Douchebags will come [and buy]."
# posted by : 3:30 PM
: 3:30 PM
The tats on the Emo-blo don't match up. Something is amiss or we are watching evolution in progress. Somehow I doubt the latter as we're also clearly looking at a genetic dead end for the species.
On the other hand, Smeg Warrior demonstrates that adaptation does take place. Surely he did not inherit the tendency to walk around clubs thrusting his exposed torso out at drunken bar skanks--a tactic so heinous even he can't look directly at its results.
On the other hand, Smeg Warrior demonstrates that adaptation does take place. Surely he did not inherit the tendency to walk around clubs thrusting his exposed torso out at drunken bar skanks--a tactic so heinous even he can't look directly at its results.
FUCKING FAGS STILL HATING ON A MAN FOR GETTING TAIL FROM A HOT PIECE OF ASS GO JERK OFF FAGGOTs
# posted by : 4:27 PM
: 4:27 PM
You talking about the E-BLO pic Cadman? Making that all important step towards recognizing your heart's true desire?
Good for you! (See punctuation is our friend. It can convey excitement without making a person look like he doesn't know how to work the caps lock on his keyboard.)
Good for you! (See punctuation is our friend. It can convey excitement without making a person look like he doesn't know how to work the caps lock on his keyboard.)
# posted by : 4:33 PM
: 4:33 PM
I'm callin' anorexia on that ass pear. Those thighs are not humanly possibly without starve-n-purge.
# posted by : 4:36 PM
: 4:36 PM
@Darksock
Fairy Cuomo
Four-in-her
House of Peen
Woody Guthre
Master Pee
ToPack Shitter
See, I suck at this game worse than haiku.
@Just Sayin.
and this matters why?
@CADMAN
That's fuccen dead gay fags to you, Sir. But seriously, work with me here. Get the ball rolling, don't just roll balls in your mouth.
Fairy Cuomo
Four-in-her
House of Peen
Woody Guthre
Master Pee
ToPack Shitter
See, I suck at this game worse than haiku.
@Just Sayin.
and this matters why?
@CADMAN
That's fuccen dead gay fags to you, Sir. But seriously, work with me here. Get the ball rolling, don't just roll balls in your mouth.
@CADMAN
I'm sorry, I didn't hear that, could you speak up? Mmm, cool auto-pilot.
Those thighs are what happens when you lean against a wall and stick your ass way out. Anorexic thighs would be bony, this girl is just skinny.
I'm lulzing just a little too hard at flag pants to really be too upset at this couple.
I'm really waiting for Axe and Ed Hardy to start cross promoting. Tho, I'm pretty sure that would cause some kind of rip in the universe. Hopefully it will be one that sucks in only those wearing such things.
E-Blo, I think he's studied the ways of the Gator. He still has some work to do.
Hooray for ass pear!!
I'm sorry, I didn't hear that, could you speak up? Mmm, cool auto-pilot.
Those thighs are what happens when you lean against a wall and stick your ass way out. Anorexic thighs would be bony, this girl is just skinny.
I'm lulzing just a little too hard at flag pants to really be too upset at this couple.
I'm really waiting for Axe and Ed Hardy to start cross promoting. Tho, I'm pretty sure that would cause some kind of rip in the universe. Hopefully it will be one that sucks in only those wearing such things.
E-Blo, I think he's studied the ways of the Gator. He still has some work to do.
Hooray for ass pear!!
Cadman's horn works, he should try the lights.
ALL UPPER CASE does not equal UPPER CLASS, just a one-trick jackass, er, pony.
all lower case equals e.e.cummings
ALL UPPER CASE does not equal UPPER CLASS, just a one-trick jackass, er, pony.
all lower case equals e.e.cummings
# posted by : 7:53 PM
: 7:53 PM
I would club baby seals for the chance to fold ass pear's fat cousin's laundry.
E-BLO was sad that mj died, and spent all night listening to Billie Jean on repeat and crying inconsolably.
Hey, it had to come out sometime.
E-BLO was sad that mj died, and spent all night listening to Billie Jean on repeat and crying inconsolably.
Hey, it had to come out sometime.
Isn’t it funny how the same group of mentally ill regulars that took Samurai Scrote to 10,200+ comments, are the same ones who went ballistic on the Cocktus Plants thread?
Irony? Methinks not. Ha! Juvenile buffoons.
Me thumbs my nose in your childish direction.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a shiny new rattle toy I’d like to play with.
Irony? Methinks not. Ha! Juvenile buffoons.
Me thumbs my nose in your childish direction.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a shiny new rattle toy I’d like to play with.
E-Blo is 2X as stoic than shaolin monks and infiniteX more mockable. Sometimes, explosions erupting from under the driver seat of a car are not enough. sometimes you need one erupting from an A2 Abrams Tank shell.
# posted by : 9:41 PM
: 9:41 PM
Douche Assassin you're a fucking faggot. stop trying so hard to be funny u fags u ain't cool u ain't shit but a shitstain on my shoe.
# posted by : 3:09 AM
: 3:09 AM
@ Crucial Head, 9:07 pm
I think it was only this past Feb. when I first summoned up the chutzpah to join in on the HCwDB comment threads. So, I'm going to once again play the "new guy" card when I ask you: Was there really a Samurai Scrote 10,200+ thread???
I had a boner when I saw 1006 comments for 'Cocktus Plants'; but 10,200? That must've been a great moment in HCwDB history.
I think it was only this past Feb. when I first summoned up the chutzpah to join in on the HCwDB comment threads. So, I'm going to once again play the "new guy" card when I ask you: Was there really a Samurai Scrote 10,200+ thread???
I had a boner when I saw 1006 comments for 'Cocktus Plants'; but 10,200? That must've been a great moment in HCwDB history.
I see CADMAN went fully "incognito" @ 3:09 a.m. today. But it keeps returning because we're "not" funny.
You're welcome, Reader Mike. As you can see (if you looked), "Miss Anonymous" asked us if we'd be making more comments, and then DarkSock (of course) really got that ball rolling.
There's a Xenu thread that once held the record with (I think) nearly 1300 posts, so epic threads are nothing new here. But the retardation that led to the Samurai Scrote thread is unmatched in history.....though I think interest has waned.
There's a Xenu thread that once held the record with (I think) nearly 1300 posts, so epic threads are nothing new here. But the retardation that led to the Samurai Scrote thread is unmatched in history.....though I think interest has waned.
What does everyone think of the show? Major adaptation decay, if you ask me. Hey DB1, when do the movie, action figures, and clothing line come out? Can't wait for the opportunity to spray the least douchy cologne on the vein underneath my cock.
# posted by : 9:43 AM
: 9:43 AM
@ Wheezer
The most epic post since I've been here (I think) was the one where Crimson Ted shoved his face up that woman's ass (memories, 'eh?). But now I see it was bo-diddlies compared to the ones you've pointed out.
Well, I feel it is my duty to DB1, this site, and you and all the regs to know my HCwDB history. I shall begin reading all 10,200+ threads in earnest.
Not today, though. It's really nice outside.
The most epic post since I've been here (I think) was the one where Crimson Ted shoved his face up that woman's ass (memories, 'eh?). But now I see it was bo-diddlies compared to the ones you've pointed out.
Well, I feel it is my duty to DB1, this site, and you and all the regs to know my HCwDB history. I shall begin reading all 10,200+ threads in earnest.
Not today, though. It's really nice outside.
Douchebag1: "Poor Rockwell. Who will sing his chorus now. Won't somebody think of Rockwell?"
So there I was, trying so hard for years to NOT think about "poor Rockwell", and you had to bring his name up. That guy's 15 minutes were up 25 years ago. Deal with it, Douchie! ;-)
So there I was, trying so hard for years to NOT think about "poor Rockwell", and you had to bring his name up. That guy's 15 minutes were up 25 years ago. Deal with it, Douchie! ;-)
# posted by : 7:48 PM
: 7:48 PM
@Anon 3:09am/Cadman?
Big points, you actually formed a full sentence. Making it possibly one of the best bag defenses ever.
Of course most are so atrocious (wikipedia can define the word if you're confusedthat it's a low bar to clear.
A bar you still managed to nick as you cleared it.
And of course you do not find us funny, we're not Dane Cook/Johnny Knoxville.
Big points, you actually formed a full sentence. Making it possibly one of the best bag defenses ever.
Of course most are so atrocious (wikipedia can define the word if you're confusedthat it's a low bar to clear.
A bar you still managed to nick as you cleared it.
And of course you do not find us funny, we're not Dane Cook/Johnny Knoxville.
# posted by : 8:14 PM
: 8:14 PM
I miss that Crimson Ted fellow, he was a total doofus. Maybe DB1 will bring him back someday. This place is always good for a groan.
I think the Burger King himself should be looking at the new sandwich, but perhaps that wouldn't play in Peoria.
PS Someone told me Mr White's basement was nicknamed "Pee-orrhea."
I think the Burger King himself should be looking at the new sandwich, but perhaps that wouldn't play in Peoria.
PS Someone told me Mr White's basement was nicknamed "Pee-orrhea."
# posted by : 11:59 PM
: 11:59 PM
Ok, so a chick actually wants to be photographed kissing this dudes open-shirted chest and even worse if she had no idea she was partaking in a photo shoot..what the hell is she doing in this position...
Spikey hair bleached blonde, big giant cross necklace, open douchey shirt with purple embroidery..and bleached blonde leech sucking on his skin...
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Spikey hair bleached blonde, big giant cross necklace, open douchey shirt with purple embroidery..and bleached blonde leech sucking on his skin...
# posted by : 5:57 PM
: 5:57 PM << Home
