The pic really looks like a work of art.
 

It's so dinamic and well captured...
 

A Guggenheim's Permanent Collection in 2023 contender for sure.

But, let's not forget the Where's Waldouche: Ass Pear Edition.









Never.










Forget.
 

The the new TV Guide promotional gatefold for Bravo's new unscripted series, "The Real Bleeths of Tulsa."
 

I think this is what Dante was talking about when he wrote his poem. This is the 5th circle of hell.
 

This is surely art, rivaled only by Rembrandt or Piccaso. If DB1 ever has it produced on Trailer Park quality black velvet, I'll be the first to purchase a copy.
 

That's an enigmatic photo. The subjects appear to be very carefully posed to look random and candid.

Spooky.

Douchey.
 

These girls are banging, why can't you guys find girls like this? STOP FUCKING HATING AND GET THE FUCK OFF THE COMPUTER YOU FUCKING FAGGOT LOSERS. I bet none of you fags even work out because it's considered douchey, you fat faggots.
 

This is like some bad Abercrombie ad.
 

come on CADMAN. some of us actually work all day and this is our only release before we actually have to go home to our families instead of the gym.

plus, WE ALL HAVE SMALL WEINERS SO WE HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS TO MAKE UP FOR IT!
 

No way this is real! This is as real as Acey Douchey...
 

I'd take a fat nottadouche that won't freak out about what I cook for him over a pompous douchebag that is on a diet and must run to the gym after dinner to work it off. If I can touch my shoulders when I hug you something is wrong.

I shall call this "Through the lens of a tainted camera."

Definitely staged, but they're trying so hard not to be. Very representative of douche culture.
 

@CADMAN...

I'd break both your arms before you knew I was peeved with you. Seriously.
 

@ cadman
Foul language and veiled threats are classic signs of someone who questions his own sexuality.
If you find the large muscular men with multiple tatoos and hair gel on this site attractive, you should give in to your feelings.
 

The mood was vaguely uncomfortable as an unknown fear mingled with the menthol haze below the ceiling. Patrons spoke only in faint whispers. Furtive glances were shared by nervous participants while hovering about a single billiards table. In the distance, Hank Williams drearily crooned, “I just don’t like this kind of living” from a Wurlitzer knock-off.

Though none would not voice the horrors that had taken place in this very room thus far, each wondered silently: of whom would be the next victim of the invisible and nameless monstrosity?

Indeed, of whom would be the next, to be swept up in that whirlwind of ghastly terror, and bludgeoned by the lone meat hook that hung from the soffit above? Whose helpless carcass would drain its life-giving blood into the high-pocket below?

They waited… knowing their questions would soon be answered, as the cathedral tower next door began its’ terrible toll.
 

Oh, I get it now… this is just a sneak peek at the next Douchbag’s of the Living Dead exhibit, at the upcoming Museum of Horror’s festivities in Portland.
 

So the most creative retort these douches can think of is 'fucking faggot losers'? Cadman and TTFUT must have dropped out of the same grade school... Or have they been watching perez hilton?

Is that what passes for debate amongst his tribe? "Axe Pimple Cream is bangin'" "You fucking faggot, axe lemon pledge is bangin-ier".

But thanks for giving me a smile today Cadman and TTFUT -- keep up the good work complaining about us "hatas". But while you're at it, kindly get my fucking car from the valet lot.
 

Why is it that when I begin to work up a good post and start typing, I check the "Preview" for my grammar when I'm finished and see that Crucial has just penned an epic, I just say screw it and delete the whole pathetic thing?

Eff-off Kade, err, I mean Cadman, lunch break is over and you still got 3 stops left today riding the honey wagon.
 

@UFO Destroyers

Why, thank you for the compliment. While it is by no mean epic, it was necessary. And by ‘necessary’, I mean ‘I had a few minutes to kill before going into my next meeting.’

Oh, and you better share your comment. I don’t come here to read my own flatus. The aroma of our collective asshole - led of course, by DB1, is why we all come here.





That, and to witness countless sniping trolls being drowned out by our own awesomeness.
 

This is what a shooting range should like.
 

^supposed to be should look like.
 

Mos def' a Guggenheim contender.

I get an associative thought of dogs playing poker.
 

These self-absorbed action-posing muckety-mucks probably rule the social ranks of their provincial cornfields, but at least brunette to the left with meat hook in her crotch will get her fingers smashed by the cue ball.
 

you down with h p v (this douche party)
who's down with hpv( every last choadie)
you down wit h p v (yeah you know bleeth)
who's down with h p v
every last scroatie


i gotta say the brunette in the gray or the one in the white with the boobs could give me genital warts large enough to make my dick look like a handlebar grip and i wouldn't complain.
 

DB1- Where can I purchase this work of art???
 

Easy.
 

I think the fat chick in white is my sister.
 

looks like an STD convention
 

"Ceçi n'est pas un jeu de billiard"
 

A stunning work. Each douche/hottie striking a pose, simultaneously, in an attempt to accentuate that attribute which they most prize: a flexed tricep here, a boob thrust out there, a heady gloss of fakebake there, lips distended or pursed as they will.

A timeless moment of douchiness, a poignant pause in the hottie<->douchie dialectic trapped in amber...well, no, Amber is the blonde playing pool; trapped in solidified hair gel, then.

--VS


--VS
 

I MUST have this to display next to my print of "Still Life With Coors Lite".

Stunning.

Superb.

Douche-a-rific!
 

Hott in the Grey is stirring my loins on this long Wednesday work day even though I would probably smack her if she had her arm on the table while I was trying to make a pool shot.
 

Good lord, and I was going to put a print of a Jules Cheret above the sofa. What a low-class slag I am. I MUST have a print of this. I'm off to Le Gallerie Crucial-Heade to get a copy! Ta!
 

CADMAN! Buddy! You have returned to inspire my bag hunting! THANK YOU!

As for why I can't find girls like that?

Because I don't give a fuck what happened on the Hills last night.

Because when the room temperature is higher then her IQ I come down with a case of "Get me the Hell out of here!"

Because when I put a ball gag in her mouth I want it to be her accepting it as a sign of her submission and acceptance of my dominance NOT a just blessed silence.

Because I would like to be able to sit and share a bottle of wine, not kneel by a toilet to hold her hair while she pukes up lemon schnapps.

Because I don't care if Pairs Hilton is a savy business woman and her bubble head persona is an act... that makes it worse.

Yeah ok, so I survived dating a Bleeth with 80% of my soul and almost half my sanity left.
 

perhaps one of the most academically interesting images in a while db. In the tradition of staged scenes in current serious photography. a worthwhile addition to your collection.
 

I am an absolute fucknut.
 

Not only is is worthy of the Guggenheim, it is inspiringly ECO-GREEN in its timely attention to our current concerns of environmental awareness.

Will we face a dark future, echoed in the ceiling and background hues, and in the suggestion of sooty-polluty grays in the left hott's sleeve-droop top; or will green prevail, as in the table, and the promise-of-spring green shirt on the right?

Will the ocean blues of the shirt in the middle and the jeans, and the touches of white shirts echoing our cloudy atmosphere continue to suggest HOPE for the Blue Planet that we see from Outer Space?

And can the Inner Space of this picture be a framed focus of survival skills?

Will we all have the balls, symbolized by those on the table, to go forth with the necessary environmental awareness to save the planet? Or will those same balls be those that symbolize over-breeding and overpopulation that will drive us to destruction? Will it always be a Question of the Erection?

Or will we all become boobs and be overpowered and sagged-down by the dilemma?

Will we all die of whooping cough?
Will the whooping cranes make a sustainable comback?
Will a can of whoop-ass always be available for the opening?
 

@Whoop Di Douche 8:27pm

Bravo!
 

Everything was going all right until I spotted that shit stain in the blue shirt in the back. All poo and such with a zombie stare.
 

Why, thank you, Scrotinger's Cat. I'm a cat-lover too.

My furry-purry sends her warmest double-coat greetings.
 

i now officially declare this pic to be the HCwDB version of the map of the world.
 

Although, I'm not doubting the doucheness and bleethness of some of the participants...this appears to be a college art, journalism or drama class project. I'm not sure if that makes this less douchey, just saying.
 

The background players have formed an improptu homage to The Last Supper. This adds a whole new dimension to the work.
 

http://digg.com/comedy/Douchebag_Emergency_Guide
 

I used to work there...it's Buckhead Saloon in Pittsburgh PA.
 

um just wanted to comment those guys are not ur average fraternity guys, im in a fraternity and yea we would not let those guys near our house