I think Katie's about to have twins. Let's hope they're not this douche's offspring.
 

If he's faking he deserves an Oscar.
 

He's for real. The proof is the chest/eyebrow wax combo.
 

you're missing a very important detail here... The collar's popped.

5 pm shadow, mancleavage, if this is a poser, he's as good as any real douchebag
 

I vote that he's a douchebag, just from a smaller market, like SLC and hasn't got his shiz together.
 

I go Fakebaggery. A sports sweatband is not, and shall never be a mandanna. Poor effort
 

Chin pubes and popped collar. Sun glasses at night should be an automatic qualifier.
 

If you could peer through those $6.00 shades into the soul of this jackass you would see (after vomiting) that he is indeed choad.
This wrinkled-shirt, offset headband- wearing piece of shit needs to be punched in the stomach. He's none too bright, and the brunette on the left is scheming. Later that very evening she screwed him in the laundry room of his mother's house and convinced it was, indeed he, who impregnated her and she'd be expecting child=support payments in 6 months.
 

Let's hope that the clear beverage Priscilla Preggers is sipping is tonic water sans gin, fetal alcohol syndrome and douche genes do not mix a'tall.

Chin pubes, multiple ear piercings, smarmlips, overpriced shirt with significant collar poppage.

He is scrotifiably choad.

--VS
 

he waxed his freakin' chest.

Authentoscrote
 

I'm with scrote pole: we have entered into what would be a Bourdieuan chaos environment, wherein doxa and habitus have merged.
The artist has become his subject, a douche. The paintbrush has become lodged in his clinically tight sphincter.
The punch-me smile is the last honest facial expression he will have as he crosses over from pretender to scroter. From here on out it's all kissy faces, blank stares, and tongue shots.
She's pushing four months preggo.
Van Douke is about to be a father, I mean cuckold.
Do we have a "Douche-father/patsy of the Year" category?

Snaggledouche
 

who cares...
 

Bag! no doubt He has 2 studs in the lobes of his man handles
 

@This is getting old
Yes you are.
 

Total Douche. He doesn't look smart enough to pull off fake douchebaggery.
 

Notice the droopy collar-pop on his right. The douche-aura takes its toll on pink pinstripey polyester fibres folding it into submission.

Brunette Katie's wild redeye and cleft cleaverage calls to me like a howling wolf magnetizing my face to her slowly swelling near-second trimester sucklage.

The verdict:

She is suckalicous (meaning I would like to suckle her around the fifth month.)

He is scrotalicious (meaning I would like to toss him feet first into a wood chipper any month.)

Good day ladies and gentlemen.


-The JimboDouche
 

His diaper is leaking.
 

The popped collar, ear rings and waxed chest are enough for me. Clearly a douche!!
 

I say fakebag. No true, self-respecting (oxymoron?) scrote would allow his popped collar to droop under any circumstances. He almost had me. However, I would wager that he is about a shot and a half of Goose away from losing himself in his character. Some folks just aren't equipped to handle method bagging.
 

He is letting his authentic douche flag fly under the guise of fakebaggery (most specifically the sweatband). This posing is what earns the smile on the blonde hott he'd like to fuck and the weak grin from the brunette he's stuck with.
 

I hope she's drinking water. We don't need any more victims of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
 

I have a revolting feeling we'll be seeing this creeper again.
The blondini on the right looks like she's jealous-happy; an emotional state peculiar to the female sex that causes strong, fake feelings of gushy happiness in the presence of other women's reproductive success (failure).
I think that Droopy here is using his unplanned preggers girlfriend to attract suckle shoulder to his clearly infectious coital organ.
He's leveraging the power of pheremones to bring douching to a chemical level.

ding douche
 

If ding douche above is correct, this scrote has worked his douchiness to a frightening, highly-advanced and heretofore unseen level. By leveraging his baggetry to attract a backup bleeth he has made a leap similar to that of the apes in '2001: A Space Odyssey.' I don’t know whether to applaud or build a safe room in my house.
 

Authentoscrote? Maybe. Authentohotts? Most definitely.
 

Nope. This weenie is NOT playing dress up...hezadouche!
 

Sort of like CSI: Miami. So bad you hope they're in on the joke but you kinda doubt it.
 

His friend seems to have the non-bag nature, which makes me suspicious. I'm feelin' 60/40 fakebag/realodouche.
 

It's not a mixer. It's a baby shower.
 

headband. bag.
 

whoa was that the shortest post i've ever written?
 

No.
 

It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!

Sunglasses in the bar are always a dead scrote giveaway.
Nigga please! Only black dudes can pull off shades in the club.

Popped collar, tweezed brows, waxed chest, anti-fungal lip chap, headband. It's all there. Douchetastic.
This is probably the benchwarming white guy on an otherwise all black college hoops team.
 

... You know, the guy who just stands up and waves a towel around his head a lot. THAT guy.
 

Surely you jest DB1 - this guy is 100%, grade A, chicken fried douchebag from somewhere down south.

The chick on the right has that down home, blank southern stare that knows nothing but rum & cokes, frat parties at Ole Miss, and hooking up Marky Marks. The brunette is working hard on her Cracker Barrel belly (which is strangely inviting) and grooming her chicken tits so they rest gently on her mother's belly.

No doubt about it - 100% 'baggery.
 

Bag. Because he's using the bag look to attract hotts.

He's as real as those boobies.
 

blonde cheesy smile keeley is the crazy chick he banged a few times but denied any real attraction to everyone else, but begged and pleaded for her attentions (and 9 1/2 inch strap on attachment) behind closed doors. she foolishly thought it meant something that he opened his man hole to her. like he was being particularly vulnerable, instead of getting every ya-ya he could think of out.

you see douche has a choice, that baby is his umbillical connection to the earning power and parental money of preggo brunette...she is smiling because she hates the trollop, but understands her complete ownership of the choad is near complete...she has a whole life time to make him step and fetch because chaod can handle a social gathering, but not a job.

it is a classic doucheinversion...the bag has become the hunted...his ultimately pathetic "wild oats" with blonde is why he will be treated like the scrote he is, and won't ever be free.
the blonde for her part, believes love conquers all, she can make a better man of him, and all that crap...she will make him a man who can hold a job so this is her hail mary play.
brunette has laid in the weeds, she gets leverage on her man, and to crush the perky blonde she will never be.
the irony is blonde will be better off,brunette will be mom-cop her whole life, and she won't ever get to wear the strap-on.
 

Headband is dress-up. The rest is all him, ergo, douche (though less hideous than the photo suggests).
 

This smacks of the Happy Hour that wouldn't end.

Chuck here decided to meet some friends out on the Upper East Side on a Tuesday night. Coming straight from work, Chuck lost the tie and undid the top botton of his shirt, but left his suit jacket on.

One drink turned into six; enter Katie and Vanessa. After two rounds of oatmeal cookie shots and raucous "WOOOOOO's", Chuck had lost the jacket, donned a used squash headband swiped from his friend Gunther's gym bag, popped his collar, and had no idea that it was 1:30 am and he had missed his last train to the suburb his parents (and he) live in.

Chuck would have a lot of explaining to do to a lot of people at work the next day, but he would lie and said he scored with two hotts, and one was already pregnant with his child.
 

Do not hand this 'bag a notadouche pass... he's a douche.
 

Of course he's authentoscrote - he's got sunglasses on at night (and I don't mean like Corey Hart) and that head band is the tell tale sign of uberdouchtasticity. Leave no doubt.
 

Whatever he is- if he's the one that impregnated Jennifer, then I hate him. I see you too Sarah Jane. You might be from an upper class South Carolina town but you still know how to "get wild" with the girls.
 

My guess is that he's faking it, but actually thinks he totally rocks the look. "If all those other poseurs could pull it off like this, they'd be swarming with hotts...."

So in the best tradition of the Heisenberg Uncer-taint-y Principle, he is both fakerdouche and truedouche.
 

@ DBAD - I think you've found the answer!
 

i've seen this type of pudwhacker before, unfortunately they're usually seen in packs sporting the phrase "bro"....fake bag, sadly though he will evolve into an authenoscrote soon
 

1. im the dude in the pic

2. the party theme was my new haircut, im sure u cyber nerds have seen the video

3. for every 1 guy there was 3 girls

4. i hosted that party

5. the dude who posted this is 30 nd lives at home...alone..with no gf...and never has had 1

6. im only on this site cause he posted the link on my facebook

7. tonight i will say a prayer for all u lonely fucks who have nothing better to do then spend time creepin other dudes who actually know girls and get laid...God Bless
 

hey purple!!!! Can I stick my cock in your butt and pull it out all dirty and shit and slap it across your cocking sucking face!
 

This is the dude in the pic writing again. I take it back lol. I am a douche authentoscrote. Punch me in my wiener.
 

ok last time, this is me again; douche in the photo. I LOVE COCK SPERM! I'm so horny for cock. shitz&giggles!
 

OH MY fkin shit what a fuckin fag that guy is he actually got his photo taken down hope he fuckin burns in a fire of douche cause his mom sucks more cock than a portugese whore