BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Excellent Photoshop.....gawd, I hope.....
 

Holy fucking whatthefuck.

Your kid is obviously getting that bullshit from somewhere. Fix it. That's your job as parent.

Complicated, huh?
 

I give him a notadouche, even with spongebob
 

Wrong! Wrong! Wrongity-wrong-wrong-wrong!!

(Ahem...now that I have recovered--reverse psychology de-doucheing might occur if the parent becomes a douche; causing the offspring to become a Young Republican or Mormon Tabernacle Choir member in "rebellion"...to "assert his own identity"...)
 

Good lord why?
 

On the other hand, consider this: Most 5 year olds have pretty bad taste. They like shiny, exciting things, hence bling and tricked out cars. (An interesting parallel is that most douches' development arrested around the age of 5.) If you give the tyke a couple of years, expose them to actual good music, and read to them, it's possible to make it past this stage. I read to my nieces all the time to prevent them from being dumb enough to become bleeth, and so far the results are encouraging.

BUT...if it's still looking bad around age 12, i.e., the kid calls his friends "fags" and thinks "reading is for lozers," then by all means, take them to your nearest black market and sell them. They've lost cuteness at that point, but the plus side is that they're big enough to do more manual labor.
 

i just called CPS.
 

taint right...
 

kids are supposed to have immature taste in everything BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS. The part of the brain responsible for aesthetic taste is somehow underdeveloped in douchebags, probably due to copious amounts of Grey Goose consumption at an early age, environmental toxins, inbreeding, and/or genetic predisposition.
 

Of course that's a shopped picture, the implications would be too grave if it wasn't. If Chinese kids could grow goats at that age, imagine what they could do when they hit 12.. armies of pre-pubescent chinese assassins that could parkour over skyskrapers, and punch straight through the chest of an adult male. Just a few billion more reasons to be afraid of China.
 

This kid's Japanese. That's Hiragana drawn on his fingers.

He'll never be able to get into an onsen with all that ink, heh.
 

Well, you know, Mike, kids strive to do just the opposite of their parents. The children of uptight, Midwestern Christian ministers become flamboyant gay icons. The children of bikers become young republicans. So, just live like a douchebag for a while! Consider it lifesaving work in the name of your child. Get some Jesus bling, start posing at every opportunity and listing to Rick Ross. The kid will be so appalled by dad's lame attempts at being cool, he will immediately start reading Tolstoy and wearing sensible cardigans.

Then you can burn your adouchetrements in the backyard and your family can toast marshmallows to celebrate peace and sanity returning to your home.
 

Damn DB1
I sent that pic to you 3 weeks ago.
I thought it was good enough to go up right away.
Guess you have a ton of goodshit just piling up or you don't read your email but once every 2 weeks
 

Here's an excellent social study on tatts; please forward to this tot's babymomma.
 

@ Turdacious:

I feel the same way about those pinksock doily pics I sent in to DB1 a month ago. Or did I send those in to the IRS?
 

Adding to DarkSock's post (6:00 p.m.), here's a cultural nightmare just waiting to happen.....oh wait, it already happened.....56 times:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1193384/What-did-expect-Incredible-face-revealed-man-tattooed-girl-56-stars-asked-three.html
 

sadly, even though p'shop, the kids tatts look better than most real tats
 

@darksock
I was as giddy as a school girl when i found that pic and was sure my solid gold find was gonna be up the next day.
I had all kinds of witty/stupid shit to say about it
Now hell don't even want to post my shitty opinion on it
 

Dem's cute little cock rings on his ear, too.
 

@ Turdacious:

Even the guy with the biggest Wang had to wait in line at the "Houston 500" gangbang filming.

The Boss works in mysterious ways, and by "ways"
I mean 48 hour periods of booze induced blackouts.

I turned in a spate of La Plante pics I found but it took a couple of weeks before the time was right for them to be posted; novelty pics w/o an actual HC w/ DB are typically relegated to Fridays and weekends for scientific reasons we cannot, yea MUST not, fully understand. Besides that gave me a headstart on wanking furiously to those images.

Go now in peace, my son.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

If they truly understood the product of douche copulation maybe right to lifers would reconsider their position.
 

hmmm...i hate tricked out cars and hand gestures but i love techno...some of it is really beautiful music and if you listen to the better producers out there, they're really producing a modernized type of classical (in terms of actual orchestration, etc).

Army of Douche-ness
 

per the girl with the 56 star tattoos on her face, while on one hand-fucking a that's permanent! on the other, does anyone feel like if that were temporary as in makeup for just the night or maybe just on a sheer aesthetic level for a moment that that's actually quite cute, almost like the type of cute little pixie you'd see in a fantasty movie/you dreamed about meeting as 9 year old when watching Labryinth, The Never Ending Story, LOTR, Willow, etc.???

maybe i'm just nuts...i've always thought smurf blue or lime green would actually make for cute girls* too

Army of Douche-ness

*so i visit morgues and check out drown victims...kidding (kinda).
 

the thing about face tatt girl.

she has to understand the statement she makes with that is
"freak pussy"

now up until age 24, 26 if she is lucky and 30 if she is extraordinary, guys will say, cool! freak pussy!

but like waking up one day as if like rip van winkle but happening in the course of mere hours,

it will turn to....uuuuggggghhh freak pussy wreeeetcch!

so as long as she is cool with being freak pussy, whatevs.

the dude who tatted her up was more interesting to me, i would rather here his story. at least as they say in sales, he stands behind the product.
 

@ Medusa 5:10 PM

really? children of bikers become young Republicans? you learn something new every day.

i hope that one day this kid becomes... well, anything without those tatts would do.
 

@darksock
There was a method to her madness ie: houston gangbang, She knew that if he went first it would ruin it for 499 other guys.
 

@ Steve L. 2:01

Pretty much. I hang with an ex-junkie, ex-club rider who has a son and a daughter. One just got into med school and is a born-again christian, the other is a peer counselor in high school and plays the cello. Square as the day is long, great kids, nothing like mom and dad, and it's a good thing. Myself, I'm the product of an ex-naval officer father who went to work in a suit and tie for 30 years, and a devout Irish Catholic mother. Needless to say, the results were catastrophic! I'd post some photo examples but I'm lazy at the moment.
 

He has the name "Seth" on his fingers. His tats look like Godzilla vs. Hedorah. Somebody please have Godzilla stomp his parents for doing this to him.

-Douche Bauer
 

Looks like Woodstock has finally come full-circle.
 

One of the little rascals from "Our Gang", new millenium style.....
 

@turdacious 6:46
Sorry, but that was wrecked long before anyone in that 500 got in the queue. Remember that the "lady" in question also auctioned off the leavins from her labiaplasty.
 

@Doucheminster Fuller
Yea, i'm sure it is
Even the late John Holmes or Peter North would get piston slap with that classy gal
 

You gotta start douchin sometime
 

Can someone say "child abuse by douche proxy?"

Oh wait, I just did.