Thursday, May 28, 2009
Stage-1 'Bagling? Or Stage-2?
Kevin the Party Pud is pretty low down on the douchal scale.
Sure he's jumped into a gaggle of Woo Hotties who are doing their best to ignore him. But seriously. Does Kevin really rankle?
Sure he's got a silly camo hat. And a hang gesture. And he drinks Keystone when PBR is just as cheap and plentiful.
But wait... is that "chin strap"?
I'm going stage-2.
And I see each of you, Polkadot Bikini Baby Hotties. I will playfully tweak your ear, then run and hide. But you won't come looking for me. So I'll go home and watch TiVo'd Breaking Bad. And eat Malomars. And tell my roommate you weren't that hot anyway, and I don't care.
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BAG ALL THE WAY!!!!The face expression the hat the necklace the discount beer in his hand TRASH BAG ALL THE WAY
# posted by 
: 11:24 AM
: 11:24 AM
Do I spy a fake, golden dog tag? Treason Bag.
I like that the hotties seem relatively happy and friendly, eschewing the usual bitch face stare. On the other hand, "Breaking Bad" is a pretty good show. It's a toss up.
I like that the hotties seem relatively happy and friendly, eschewing the usual bitch face stare. On the other hand, "Breaking Bad" is a pretty good show. It's a toss up.
Place head with open mouth facing/onto curb. Stomp on back of head. Rinse. Repeat.
- Douchey Smurf
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 11:30 AM
: 11:30 AM
stage-2 'Bagling.
but if i'm going to be totally honest here, i'd have to say he's much more of a drunk redneck simpleton.
but if i'm going to be totally honest here, i'd have to say he's much more of a drunk redneck simpleton.
I've seen this billboard for Keystone light on the Jersey turnpike...or maybe it was Sandusky Ohio either way he's poo and I wont drink their beer anymore unless its free
# posted by : 11:42 AM
: 11:42 AM
What we have here is a Gilligan. A class clown. While he shares with the douchebag a burning desire for attention, his complete lack of anything resembling a positive self image means the typical narcissistic scrote demeanor (cf Krakenbag) will be completely absent. He's no threat to those Hotties, because in two minutes he'll start eating crickets for attention when they lose interest and start to walk away.
PBR actually got like $4 more expensive (at least it did here)
But i am inclined to agree with pfah that he is a drunk redneck... but still a douchebag nonetheless.
But i am inclined to agree with pfah that he is a drunk redneck... but still a douchebag nonetheless.
# posted by : 11:51 AM
: 11:51 AM
Here's hoping that Black bikini is using that cell phone to call
Remove a Wad Exterminator Service.
Heres also hoping that he is sitting on a fragmentation grenade.
Remove a Wad Exterminator Service.
Heres also hoping that he is sitting on a fragmentation grenade.
# posted by : 12:00 PM
: 12:00 PM
Those girls look pretty clean, no bitch faces, bolt ons, tats etc.
He is what you get when you combine Gomer Pyle, Giligan and beer.
He is what you get when you combine Gomer Pyle, Giligan and beer.
@ Captain Bringdown 11:44
I'm right there with you but I think we might actually be looking at a Maynard G. Krebs.
I can definitely see the allure of losing this numbnut at sea, though.
@ Anon 11:56
It's something your grandparents watched, son. Go back to masturbating.
I'm right there with you but I think we might actually be looking at a Maynard G. Krebs.
I can definitely see the allure of losing this numbnut at sea, though.
@ Anon 11:56
It's something your grandparents watched, son. Go back to masturbating.
At least stage 1 just for drinking Keysone Light.
Doesn't he know PBR is much more delicious?
Doesn't he know tall boy six packs of PBR are going for a mere 4.99 at a grocery store near my house?
Ninny.
AV
Doesn't he know PBR is much more delicious?
Doesn't he know tall boy six packs of PBR are going for a mere 4.99 at a grocery store near my house?
Ninny.
AV
# posted by : 12:28 PM
: 12:28 PM
Rather than waldouche, how about taging this moron a waldork and move along. I am sure someone with euthanize him once they realize he's brain dead.
Did this corpse just wake up? The Count is ghostly pale.
Let's see: cammie fisherman's hat, keystone light, douchey hand gesture, chin strap, WOOOOO wail. Stage 3. Since he's so short we can't see the tattoo across his stomach that says "Vampire with Integrity." That's the clincher, along with his buttcheeks.
Ah ah ahhhhh, Vonnnn hottie, two TWO hotties... ah ah ahhhhh... three!
Seriously, who the hell actually drinks keystone lite? Keystone regular? I'm not a snob, but it smells revolting. I couldn't get close to it. Buckhorn smells better.
Tasty hotts surround him, though.
Let's see: cammie fisherman's hat, keystone light, douchey hand gesture, chin strap, WOOOOO wail. Stage 3. Since he's so short we can't see the tattoo across his stomach that says "Vampire with Integrity." That's the clincher, along with his buttcheeks.
Ah ah ahhhhh, Vonnnn hottie, two TWO hotties... ah ah ahhhhh... three!
Seriously, who the hell actually drinks keystone lite? Keystone regular? I'm not a snob, but it smells revolting. I couldn't get close to it. Buckhorn smells better.
Tasty hotts surround him, though.
# posted by : 12:46 PM
: 12:46 PM
This fucking NancyBoy is right at home hanging with these honeys..... they're all talking about cock.
The groundhog had devoured his shins and had just begun nibbling on his lower femurs, before the girls noticed Winston’s look of joviality, was actually one of agony.
"Treason Bag." Very nice, Mr. White.
This discussion of Keystone vs PBR confounds me. They're both pisswater, and tho not quite 1 to 1, there is definitely a correlation between douchebaggery and drinking ANY form of yellow tinted carbonated pisswater (Coors, Bud, etc). Or to put it another way, when was the last time you saw a 'bag drinking a Sierra Nevada?
Also, I just gave myself an epileptic seizure by staring at right hott's boob for too long.
This discussion of Keystone vs PBR confounds me. They're both pisswater, and tho not quite 1 to 1, there is definitely a correlation between douchebaggery and drinking ANY form of yellow tinted carbonated pisswater (Coors, Bud, etc). Or to put it another way, when was the last time you saw a 'bag drinking a Sierra Nevada?
Also, I just gave myself an epileptic seizure by staring at right hott's boob for too long.
# posted by : 1:22 PM
: 1:22 PM
As a Canadian coming off 6 months of winter I am pretty pale but WTF get that boy some SPF100 before he turns the same color as the pink polka dots on centre hotties chest
Douche Vader is an elitist beer snob. There's nothing wrong with an American Lager. Yes, the douches drink bud lite, but that does not make all who drink it douches. Besides, Sierra gives me the wind.
"Besides, Sierra gives me the wind."
Yet another of its many wonderful attributes.
Yet another of its many wonderful attributes.
# posted by : 1:37 PM
: 1:37 PM
Notta-douche. Keystone isn't douche; Mike's Hard Lemonade or Smirnoff Ice is douche. Plus, he lacks the fake tan in an area where the hotts clearly are prepared for bikini weather.
# posted by : 2:42 PM
: 2:42 PM
Nottadouche. Pasty, goofy, probably the result of some first cousin breeding, but not a douche.
The little QT-pie on the left could use some serious spanking.
The little QT-pie on the left could use some serious spanking.
# posted by : 3:38 PM
: 3:38 PM
I like seeing Vishnu Bikini on the far right copping a feel on her cherubic friend on the left.
# posted by : 3:45 PM
: 3:45 PM
@Douche Vader, 1:22 p.m. -
"Also, I just gave myself an epileptic seizure by staring at right hott's boob for too long."
I think we'll call that the "fractal freakout."
"Also, I just gave myself an epileptic seizure by staring at right hott's boob for too long."
I think we'll call that the "fractal freakout."
Actually, douchewad here more closely resembles the young Paul Ruebens. Perhaps he should be renamed Pee Pee Turdman.
Man, a reverse gangbang with those six coeds would be absolutely super...back to work now.
# posted by : 6:03 PM
: 6:03 PM
Sheena on the left stepped on his nutsack, hence the face on him.
Otherwise, Stage-1. Delousing and deprogramming now may save him.
Otherwise, Stage-1. Delousing and deprogramming now may save him.
hand gesture
douche beer, thought being too picky about beer i think is creeping up on my list of douche signifiers
medalion/tag
chin strap
douche face wfd: "waiting for daddy"
stupid camo hat.
yeah he's a douche, i could actually see him as a level three.
4 pretty bodies 2 pretty faces equitably distributed.
douche beer, thought being too picky about beer i think is creeping up on my list of douche signifiers
medalion/tag
chin strap
douche face wfd: "waiting for daddy"
stupid camo hat.
yeah he's a douche, i could actually see him as a level three.
4 pretty bodies 2 pretty faces equitably distributed.
He's just a total dweeb, and the only baglings I see are the numerous boobies in thie bikini-slings.
# posted by : 8:22 PM
: 8:22 PM
that reminds me, i never really understood the definitions of different stages of douchebaggery.
i just know that he's at that stage where he needs to be launched out of a cannon circus style.
and i'll take the black bikini hott and pink polka dots please.
i just know that he's at that stage where he needs to be launched out of a cannon circus style.
and i'll take the black bikini hott and pink polka dots please.
I'm going to go with First-Degree Tool rather than 'bag. Over time, a clearer linguistic distinction between the two will emerge. Hopefully, like I will distinctly emerge between the two polka-bags on Kelly.
Camo hat, stupid face, Keystone Light, failed attempt to throw up horns, necklace, total lack of tan.
Not enough evidence to bump him up to Stage 3. But the case is mounting.
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Not enough evidence to bump him up to Stage 3. But the case is mounting.
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