Monday, May 18, 2009
HCwDB of the Month
Boo. And ya. It is here.
Four couples of hott and choad. Four couples enter. Only one may call itself HCwDB of the Month. Only one may earn a slot at the 2009 Douchies in the coveted category of HCwDB of the Year.
Which will it be? Here are your finalists:
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #1: Anchor Chin and Raquel
There is little missing from this cohabitation of stench and sexy.
In fact, it is nearly a perfect storm of hott and douche.
Of sexy pale cleavite that is begging for the DB1 to grease his head up and do a triple lindig betwixt those soft flesh pillows.
Of punchable Anchor Chin that is all chest shaved chin pubed spikey hair 'tude.
I mean, just look at his smug douche-pout. Don't you want to cauterize a kitten's ears? Yes. Yes you do.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #2: The Crimson Goose
Bringing Orange to a whole new level of orangitude, this orangutan introduces a new douchal innovation:
The Goose Fondle + Text.
Factor in his complete ignoring of a self fondling Long Island Hott in slippy red dress, and the pic rises to a strong contender in the Monthly.
Then add in wallpaper books, and you have a visual commentary on how simulation has replaced the authentic in the age of mechanical reproduction.
Every great HCwDB pic needs that extra bonus that renders the whole scene into postmodern art, and wallpaper books does the trick. As do white, cotton undies, which I would awkwardly touch like a confused ape regarding a monolith.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #3: Popeye The Scroter Man
Just try to imagine how the hell Popeye got into that Ed Hardy shirt.
Grease?
Pliers?
Is it actually not a shirt but a spray-on decal?
The hotts are hard to read for quality, but maybe that's the point.
The Scroter Man has determined that his cig and pecs are more important than a gaggle of woo-hotties.
Which is quite the annoyance.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #4: Waxy McBrow and Rachelle
The only Monthly to feature a series of pics, Waxy and Goose and Waxy and Co., McBrow and Rachelle's European Countries are tough finalists indeed.
Waxy bothered some voters because, other than the Rosary bling, he doesn't bring a lot of visceral douchitude to the table.
Aha! But note the very subtle boob point.
And pants stain.
And punchable smug expression, all in presence of a sweet, innocent smiling Eurohott.
Okay, maybe not that innocent. But this couple is real, not just a PTP. And as such, it strikes terror in the hearts of millions of Europeans who fear that National Scrotecialism will lead to a dictator who will drive the country to douchal war as part of the infamous "Axe Powers."
I have no idea what that meant.
So them's your Final Four.
Think. Meditate on the hott. Ruminate on the choad. Which coupling most rises in foul toxicity to call itself HCwDB of the Month?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Four couples of hott and choad. Four couples enter. Only one may call itself HCwDB of the Month. Only one may earn a slot at the 2009 Douchies in the coveted category of HCwDB of the Year.
Which will it be? Here are your finalists:
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #1: Anchor Chin and Raquel
There is little missing from this cohabitation of stench and sexy.
In fact, it is nearly a perfect storm of hott and douche.
Of sexy pale cleavite that is begging for the DB1 to grease his head up and do a triple lindig betwixt those soft flesh pillows.
Of punchable Anchor Chin that is all chest shaved chin pubed spikey hair 'tude.
I mean, just look at his smug douche-pout. Don't you want to cauterize a kitten's ears? Yes. Yes you do.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #2: The Crimson Goose
Bringing Orange to a whole new level of orangitude, this orangutan introduces a new douchal innovation:
The Goose Fondle + Text.
Factor in his complete ignoring of a self fondling Long Island Hott in slippy red dress, and the pic rises to a strong contender in the Monthly.
Then add in wallpaper books, and you have a visual commentary on how simulation has replaced the authentic in the age of mechanical reproduction.
Every great HCwDB pic needs that extra bonus that renders the whole scene into postmodern art, and wallpaper books does the trick. As do white, cotton undies, which I would awkwardly touch like a confused ape regarding a monolith.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #3: Popeye The Scroter Man
Just try to imagine how the hell Popeye got into that Ed Hardy shirt.
Grease?
Pliers?
Is it actually not a shirt but a spray-on decal?
The hotts are hard to read for quality, but maybe that's the point.
The Scroter Man has determined that his cig and pecs are more important than a gaggle of woo-hotties.
Which is quite the annoyance.
HCwDB of the Month Finalist #4: Waxy McBrow and Rachelle
The only Monthly to feature a series of pics, Waxy and Goose and Waxy and Co., McBrow and Rachelle's European Countries are tough finalists indeed.
Waxy bothered some voters because, other than the Rosary bling, he doesn't bring a lot of visceral douchitude to the table.
Aha! But note the very subtle boob point.
And pants stain.
And punchable smug expression, all in presence of a sweet, innocent smiling Eurohott.
Okay, maybe not that innocent. But this couple is real, not just a PTP. And as such, it strikes terror in the hearts of millions of Europeans who fear that National Scrotecialism will lead to a dictator who will drive the country to douchal war as part of the infamous "Axe Powers."
I have no idea what that meant.
So them's your Final Four.
Think. Meditate on the hott. Ruminate on the choad. Which coupling most rises in foul toxicity to call itself HCwDB of the Month?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Comments:
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So much wrongness, so little time, but to me this one is easy.
Anchor Chin has an anchor sculpted onto this face and the salty douche scowl of a Captain Abag (no relation to the regular of the same name) who's failed to catch the Great White Whale. Racquel has flawless skin and batshit crazy eyes that say, "You may get to touch my magnificent musk melons, but only if you're in four-point restraints on the cold, stainless steel butcher's table in my basement." And I'm O.K. with that.
Anchor Chin has an anchor sculpted onto this face and the salty douche scowl of a Captain Abag (no relation to the regular of the same name) who's failed to catch the Great White Whale. Racquel has flawless skin and batshit crazy eyes that say, "You may get to touch my magnificent musk melons, but only if you're in four-point restraints on the cold, stainless steel butcher's table in my basement." And I'm O.K. with that.
Waxy & Rachelle FTW, because that turd seems to think he belongs with her. And what's even more mystifying, she seems to think she belongs with him. That makes me cry tears of boobie.
Crimson Goose all the way. Vogon poetry has nothing on the artistry with which this guy ignores a horny, coy young bundle of nice with a triangle so hot it's giving off steam. Makes me want to rip my own arms off and beat myself to death with them. Or better yet, him.
Waxy & Rachelle FTW.
Anchor Chin & Raquel was very close behind.
I think it's actually a tie.
If you had Anchor Chin & Rachelle in a photo, you would have a Hall of Fame entry.
Anchor Chin & Raquel was very close behind.
I think it's actually a tie.
If you had Anchor Chin & Rachelle in a photo, you would have a Hall of Fame entry.
The Crimson Goose is a disgusting turd stain...texting and HOLDING a overpriced bottle of toilet cleaner at the same time. Then he ignores boobie-hott-panties!!!!
Fuck him he wins.
Fuck him he wins.
# posted by 
: 7:40 AM
: 7:40 AM
My vote goes to the Crimson Goose, whose dedication to narcissism can permit him to let a spanking hott slinky coed cool her heels while he cradles a needlessly expensive bottle of market-hyped mouthwash and electronically masturbates with his "posse". The stench of his inflated self-image lingers like the miasma in a Louisiana highway rest stop public toilet.
What a lineup, DB1...
It was a difficult decision, but at the end of the day, Anchor Chin and Raquel are the most wrong. And by end of the day, I mean after a few Tecates with lime salt, several nasty well drink margaritas, and a "steak" burrito. And by steak, I mean dog.
The greasey, smelly Anchor Chin doesn't deserve to be within 20 nautical miles of that choice cleavite.
AC+R FTM.
AV
It was a difficult decision, but at the end of the day, Anchor Chin and Raquel are the most wrong. And by end of the day, I mean after a few Tecates with lime salt, several nasty well drink margaritas, and a "steak" burrito. And by steak, I mean dog.
The greasey, smelly Anchor Chin doesn't deserve to be within 20 nautical miles of that choice cleavite.
AC+R FTM.
AV
# posted by : 7:51 AM
: 7:51 AM
HAS to be The Crimson Goose. All of the four are compelling but at least Waxy and Anchor are still not so douche-tastic that they forgot the girl in the picture. I have to leave room for the possibility that Popeye was undertaking a photo-bomb prank, no matter how deep the vagisil pool is that he swims in.
So, I think that an orange little man, holding a bottle of Vodka and texting whilst a beautiful Hott finds it in her heart to shoot the viewer a little panty triangle and caresses herself says "I am king Douche!"
Her tight dress is orange.
His skin is orange.
She caresses her breast.
He holds his bottle.
She look knowingly at the camera.
He looks confusingly at his blackberry.
The two are the very definition of the nut bin and tang of: Hott & Douchebag.
So, I think that an orange little man, holding a bottle of Vodka and texting whilst a beautiful Hott finds it in her heart to shoot the viewer a little panty triangle and caresses herself says "I am king Douche!"
Her tight dress is orange.
His skin is orange.
She caresses her breast.
He holds his bottle.
She look knowingly at the camera.
He looks confusingly at his blackberry.
The two are the very definition of the nut bin and tang of: Hott & Douchebag.
# posted by : 7:53 AM
: 7:53 AM
All of these are--as the name suggests--hot chicks with douchebags. Indeed, some are very hot, and all are very douchey. But only the Crimson Goose provokes an existential crisis. The chick is slutty/innocent-hot; the goose is over-priced; the phone is inexplicable; the wallpaper is, well, it is, er, it is destroying my brain. Attention must be paid.
C.G. FTW
C.G. FTW
# posted by : 7:56 AM
: 7:56 AM
Anchor Chin & Raquel, easy. The shaved/waxed chest...the bling...the manicured chin pubes...and the pout, my God the pout. He is absolutely nauseating. I don't think much needs to be said about Racquel that hasn't already been said...twice.
# posted by : 7:57 AM
: 7:57 AM
Anchor Chin: Weird bling, spikey gelled hair, elongated v neck wax chest, pouting face
with
Raquelle: ba-ba-ba-boooobies with manic expression combatting low self esteem
Classical form HCwDB. Anchor FTM!
with
Raquelle: ba-ba-ba-boooobies with manic expression combatting low self esteem
Classical form HCwDB. Anchor FTM!
# posted by : 8:00 AM
: 8:00 AM
This is difficult. I think I have to go with Anchor Chin and Raquel. They are so mismatched. He's clearly got her hypnotized with that magic amulet around his waxed neck.
No hard feelings, bookshelf wallpaper. I still love you. I'm going to get a roll, put it up in my bedroom and film public service announcements denouncing HB 19278A, the flags for orphans act.
No hard feelings, bookshelf wallpaper. I still love you. I'm going to get a roll, put it up in my bedroom and film public service announcements denouncing HB 19278A, the flags for orphans act.
# posted by : 8:01 AM
: 8:01 AM
If Raquel and Rachelle's boobies ever touch my understanding of the universe will be complete.
No douches for the monthly, how about Raquel and Rachelle for the monthly "late night material" award? I don't even want to think about Anchor Chin or Waxy. They depress me too much.
No douches for the monthly, how about Raquel and Rachelle for the monthly "late night material" award? I don't even want to think about Anchor Chin or Waxy. They depress me too much.
# posted by : 8:05 AM
: 8:05 AM
He is the smuggest of the smug and she is the boobiest of the boob. Waxy and Rachelle for the monthly.
# posted by : 8:07 AM
: 8:07 AM
crimson goose. this is epic wrongness texting and hugging the almost empty bottle of goose, the wallpaper, the couch that came from a howard johnson's ultralounge, if such thing existed.the doucheorange,and how do you ignore the dominique swain hott? pleading with the camera for attention, if i stare any longer i am gonna owe child support.
# posted by : 8:15 AM
: 8:15 AM
Waxy McBrow and Rachelle FTW. I'd like to take that pointy finger of his and stick it up his ass while I rest my face in her cleavage and dial long distance.
# posted by : 8:15 AM
: 8:15 AM
#1 Anchor Chin & Raquel, FTMonthly.
It's so nice to see her again. And so angering to see him next to those great mounds of joy.
-Yabba Dabba Douche
It's so nice to see her again. And so angering to see him next to those great mounds of joy.
-Yabba Dabba Douche
# posted by : 8:18 AM
: 8:18 AM
The flotation devices on Raquel keep Anchor Chin from sinking to the bottom of the douchey sea.
Raquel FTW!
Raquel FTW!
# posted by : 8:19 AM
: 8:19 AM
Crimson Goose FTW. He's a burnt umber cro-magnon whose infatuation with status-symbol firewater and shiny electronic objects blinds him to this sexy future-nurse practitioner displaying unmistakable signs of being in heat. This is like a picture of matter meeting anti-matter at a Long Island nightclub; it should have caused a black hole by now.
# posted by : 8:24 AM
: 8:24 AM
Can't it just be a fucking tie...Anchor Chin, Crimson Goose, and Waxy are huge douches with ultra hotts...They all have the delicious boobies that deserve to be suckled with a piece of scrote wank that deserves to be punched.
If you have to pick though -
1) Anchor Chin - his pose is just too much.
2) Crimson Goose - huh huh - look. I just typed blackberry on my blackberry! Get it? huh huh - get it?
3) Waxy - I almost feel bad for the scrote because he looks like he just dropped a load in his pants which is what I would immediately do if my hand was grazing such luscious mammaries...then I notice his waxed for-arm and it's back to wanting to punch him in the face.
If you have to pick though -
1) Anchor Chin - his pose is just too much.
2) Crimson Goose - huh huh - look. I just typed blackberry on my blackberry! Get it? huh huh - get it?
3) Waxy - I almost feel bad for the scrote because he looks like he just dropped a load in his pants which is what I would immediately do if my hand was grazing such luscious mammaries...then I notice his waxed for-arm and it's back to wanting to punch him in the face.
# posted by : 8:28 AM
: 8:28 AM
Anchor Chin's face fung says, "Climb on my back, I'm takin' you to the title." Raquel emits low moans.
The Chin for the win.
The Chin for the win.
# posted by : 8:28 AM
: 8:28 AM
anchorface for the monthly, those boooooobs are just too nice to be smeared up against this turdburglar. id like to see popeye the scroter man fight anchorface to the death or put them both in a bag and drown them in a vat of goose.
# posted by : 8:36 AM
: 8:36 AM
I vote for The Crimson Goose. Raquel's boobs may be amazing, but something about her scares me.
# posted by : 8:38 AM
: 8:38 AM
I have to go with Pfah on this one; Waxy McBrow and Rachelle. That guy makes me commit suicide by taking a rat-tail file to a Clydesdale's ass.
And by "go with Pfah" I mean take him out to a nice Tuscany restaurant and then not call him back the next week.
And by "go with Pfah" I mean take him out to a nice Tuscany restaurant and then not call him back the next week.
waxy ftw. the gf agrees. mainly because rachelle is "less of a slut than the rest of them"
# posted by : 8:57 AM
: 8:57 AM
anchor chin ftw. he looks like a fat puerto-ricany version of Kumar(kal penn? not sure of the dudes name), and. . . mammaries. she scares the shit out of me with those googly eyes, but i don't see myself,or anyone else for that matter, looking at her eyes for longer than 1 millisecond anyway.looks like she has 2 bald midgets in a headlock.
# posted by : 9:00 AM
: 9:00 AM
Anchor Chin and RaquelIf Raquel smiled at me I would call for Valcor and fly away to space and happily die of asphyxiation.
Anchor chin and Raquel win this battle of the D-bags. That pout. Those breasts. It's the perfect combination of wrongness in V-neck formation.
# posted by : 9:06 AM
: 9:06 AM
Wow, it looks like we got ourselves a good, old-fashioned boob off. Racquel and Rachelle. This is going to require some deliberation. And by "deliberation" I mean "careful consideration."
Rachelle or Raquel? This is like Sophie’s Choice – except with boobies… which are far more important. With this in mind, I believe the winner should be Rachelle. Because she is with Pooman Scatamian; creator of TheTurdy.com.
WAXY McBROW!! Hottest hott of the group, by far. The poor girl looks so vapid and lost! Also, look at his vest/jesus bling/shirt combo....so much effort, so douchey! These two are instant classics!!
I didn't notice this the first hundred times I stared at Raquel or Panty Triangle, but they have nearly identical facial expressions. Especially the eyes.
# posted by : 9:20 AM
: 9:20 AM
Crimson Goose.
But the only thing that keeps him from being douche o' the century is that he's not automatically locked onto the camera.
Don't all DBs know, instinctually, when a camera is pointed at them?
But the only thing that keeps him from being douche o' the century is that he's not automatically locked onto the camera.
Don't all DBs know, instinctually, when a camera is pointed at them?
# posted by : 9:23 AM
: 9:23 AM
It'd be nice if some of the anonymous types just gave themselves a name. For all we know it is the same assclown posting multiple times.
# posted by : 9:28 AM
: 9:28 AM
Anchor chin + Raquel. She is angelic; he is pooish. I want to drop him into a sea of electric eels.
# posted by : 9:32 AM
: 9:32 AM
Anchor Chin and Raquel FTW
Anchor Chin reminds me of Xenu for some reason. Raquel is one of the most lickable hotts ever seen on this site. Easy choice.
Anchor Chin reminds me of Xenu for some reason. Raquel is one of the most lickable hotts ever seen on this site. Easy choice.
As much as I love Raquel's Sweater Meat...and God only knows I do; I have to vote for The Crimson Goose. The glare coming off of his greasy orange forehead is nearly blinding. This in turn makes it difficult to look at the Hott's Holy White Triangle. Which curiously makes me want to punch a 3 year-old Sudanese war orphan in his yam bag. SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO CRIMSON GOOSE!
# posted by : 9:37 AM
: 9:37 AM
I'm abstaining from voting, I'm still protesting waxies win.
hes a shit and douchebag, but not a winner in a loser sort of way
hes a shit and douchebag, but not a winner in a loser sort of way
# posted by : 9:47 AM
: 9:47 AM
after some careful consideration and some much less careful masturbation, I think I'll have to vote for Waxy and his hot lil bitty.
After narrowing the field to two douchie/hotty couplings, I came to the realization that I had to remove the equally large boobies from the equation and focus on the quality of the douche.
Waxy has a fuckin stud under his lip, a cubic zirconia in his ear that's the size of a grape, and he's pointing in every goddam picture like he's some sort of Peaches wannabe with the hands of a 90 year old arthritic shaven she-yeti.
Anchor chin has that "slightly creepy guy who hands you tickets to girly shows in vegas" look in his eye along with truly douchetacular facial hair patterning and a decently executed lip pout. Unfortunately, he elicits only a very small rage response due to his potential to be a harmless greasbag who no chick I'd fuck would ever touch or come within 5 feet of.
If you look deeply into Rachelle's eyes, you can see that Waxy has proven that he is entirely capable of fooling hotts(ones I wouldnt be afraid to screw) into thinking he's something special.
For that he wins the day, and every ounce of scorn I can heap on him.
After narrowing the field to two douchie/hotty couplings, I came to the realization that I had to remove the equally large boobies from the equation and focus on the quality of the douche.
Waxy has a fuckin stud under his lip, a cubic zirconia in his ear that's the size of a grape, and he's pointing in every goddam picture like he's some sort of Peaches wannabe with the hands of a 90 year old arthritic shaven she-yeti.
Anchor chin has that "slightly creepy guy who hands you tickets to girly shows in vegas" look in his eye along with truly douchetacular facial hair patterning and a decently executed lip pout. Unfortunately, he elicits only a very small rage response due to his potential to be a harmless greasbag who no chick I'd fuck would ever touch or come within 5 feet of.
If you look deeply into Rachelle's eyes, you can see that Waxy has proven that he is entirely capable of fooling hotts(ones I wouldnt be afraid to screw) into thinking he's something special.
For that he wins the day, and every ounce of scorn I can heap on him.
Crimson Goose for the win! There are so many great elements to this photo. Combined, it has more winning nuances than any other photo. Plus the hint of white and the provocative look are icing on the cake.
# posted by : 9:52 AM
: 9:52 AM
Anchor Chin and Raquel please.
Everytime I look at the Cindy Crawford mole on Chiny's face I taste some regurgitated Grape Nuts in the back of my throat.
Some one strike him with a tea kettle. That's whistling.
And Raquel...hmm...if one can avert from the boobies for a second...one may lean towards a trannie conclusion. Which makes this couple extraordinary.
Remarkable actually.
Everytime I look at the Cindy Crawford mole on Chiny's face I taste some regurgitated Grape Nuts in the back of my throat.
Some one strike him with a tea kettle. That's whistling.
And Raquel...hmm...if one can avert from the boobies for a second...one may lean towards a trannie conclusion. Which makes this couple extraordinary.
Remarkable actually.
# posted by : 9:54 AM
: 9:54 AM
As compelling as Raquel's boobs are, and as punchable as Anchor Chin's face is, my eyes - and by eyes, I mean tongue, and by tongue, I mean vote - are inexorably drawn toward the little white triangle.
Crimson Goose FTW.
Crimson Goose FTW.
It's a battle of their surgeon's quality work for the hotts but Raquel has her v-neck pulled down because she's wearing a sweater from before her augmentation that doesn't quite fit the same as it did before. Give her a .010 advantage.
Now it's Anchor Chin v Waxy.
Waxy has jizzed-his-pants so he may actually be human after all because let's face it with this babe hanging on any of us all night we'd do the same.
So it's on to A Chin. Round faced choad hawk shaved chest and puss gut gives him the edge since he is sneering like he has Plumpy's physique but he really has Paul Rodriguez'.
Anchor Chin and Raquel FTW
Now it's Anchor Chin v Waxy.
Waxy has jizzed-his-pants so he may actually be human after all because let's face it with this babe hanging on any of us all night we'd do the same.
So it's on to A Chin. Round faced choad hawk shaved chest and puss gut gives him the edge since he is sneering like he has Plumpy's physique but he really has Paul Rodriguez'.
Anchor Chin and Raquel FTW
Anchor Chin and Raquel. Raquel's boobs have that "lay your head on my cleavage" look that Rachelle lacks.
# posted by : 10:15 AM
: 10:15 AM
Waxy. EXTREME disparity between the douche and the hott. Maddening, actually.
Rachelle, as well as Ms. Raquel, have delicious, juicy, succulent tits.
Where Anchor Chin reeks of and tries to be poo, Waxy has already been poo for 4 years. Where it looks like a toss-up between Waxy and Anchor chin, one needs only to review the further evidence (links) to see the edge. We can restart the debate when further evidence of Anchor Chin's baggery is revealed. Until then, it is Waxy that wins. And by win, I mean deserves to be buried alive somewhere in the Meadowlands.
Rachelle, as well as Ms. Raquel, have delicious, juicy, succulent tits.
Where Anchor Chin reeks of and tries to be poo, Waxy has already been poo for 4 years. Where it looks like a toss-up between Waxy and Anchor chin, one needs only to review the further evidence (links) to see the edge. We can restart the debate when further evidence of Anchor Chin's baggery is revealed. Until then, it is Waxy that wins. And by win, I mean deserves to be buried alive somewhere in the Meadowlands.
# posted by : 10:17 AM
: 10:17 AM
Anchor Chin simply because he's got more of a douchey look on his face than Waxy. Either way, I wish the two of them would pull a Thelma and Louise.
# posted by : 10:17 AM
: 10:17 AM
I'm sure there are other pictures on this page, other websites on the internet, a world outside this computer screen. But right now, alas, there is only Raquel and the perfection that is her lusciousness. That is all. When the world was first created, all that is right and good was put atop that pink scooped blouse. And we are left to ponder.
You, my baghunting friends, are powerless in the face of that photograph. You just are. We forget why we are here, our mission, the douchebags, the facial hair, the orange -- and only thought remains:
Boobies.
Again I say, Nestle in and vote Raquel.
You, my baghunting friends, are powerless in the face of that photograph. You just are. We forget why we are here, our mission, the douchebags, the facial hair, the orange -- and only thought remains:
Boobies.
Again I say, Nestle in and vote Raquel.
# posted by : 10:18 AM
: 10:18 AM
Anchor Chin simply because he's got more of a douchey look on his face than Waxy. Either way, I wish the two of them would pull a Thelma and Louise.
# posted by : 10:18 AM
: 10:18 AM
Popeye- None of the finalists are as explicitly annoying as him, it's like he was TRYING to win a monthly. Who the fuck jumps into the middle of a photograph and flexes? what is he six years old?
Crimson goose is close second, but only because the girl looks like a grapefruit covered in bacon grease.
Crimson goose is close second, but only because the girl looks like a grapefruit covered in bacon grease.
# posted by : 10:32 AM
: 10:32 AM
It boils down to a choice between Waxy and Rachelle vs Anchor and Raquel. Striaght up, Raquel is the hotter of the two. She has a look in her eye that says "Lets fuck like bunnies NOW." and her boobs are magnificent.
however, Anchor just seems to be drifting in a sea of douche, and existential miasma, where he floated to the surface of his life like a fluffy pile of poo, ran aground and began to stink.
Waxy, however, has made a conscious career of dipshittery and for that, he is the greater offence.
If Waxy were photographed with Raquel, we'd have a serious contender for the Annual, if anything just for the combination of boobie hottness and chisel brained idiocy.
So, what I would do is this:
Waxy and Rachelle for the Monthly, but put Raquel in line for Best Boobies of the year. Cuz I think she gots 'em, and certainly in line for induction into the hall of hotts.
however, Anchor just seems to be drifting in a sea of douche, and existential miasma, where he floated to the surface of his life like a fluffy pile of poo, ran aground and began to stink.
Waxy, however, has made a conscious career of dipshittery and for that, he is the greater offence.
If Waxy were photographed with Raquel, we'd have a serious contender for the Annual, if anything just for the combination of boobie hottness and chisel brained idiocy.
So, what I would do is this:
Waxy and Rachelle for the Monthly, but put Raquel in line for Best Boobies of the year. Cuz I think she gots 'em, and certainly in line for induction into the hall of hotts.
# posted by : 10:41 AM
: 10:41 AM
this one is tough, but if tighty armani says vote, then I'll have to.
Crimson goose and popeye the scroteman, are the 2 that pull at me for the obvious win, but only one can emerge victorious. I'm going to have to go with crimson goose FTW solely because it has an orange guido and a total hot touching herself and showing panty, it's such an obvious answer in the light of day.
Crimson G00se FTW!
Crimson goose and popeye the scroteman, are the 2 that pull at me for the obvious win, but only one can emerge victorious. I'm going to have to go with crimson goose FTW solely because it has an orange guido and a total hot touching herself and showing panty, it's such an obvious answer in the light of day.
Crimson G00se FTW!
"...with the hands of a 90 year old arthritic shaven she-yeti."
Almost wet myself.
AV
Almost wet myself.
AV
# posted by : 10:48 AM
: 10:48 AM
It is between Anchor Chin & Waxy McBrow. I have to go with Anchor Chin for his presence anywhere near hottie Rachel is just not right. Everything about this picture is what makes me question the existence of a higher power. WHY DO YOU LET THIS ANGEL NEAR THIS DOUCHEBAG? WHY!
# posted by : 10:54 AM
: 10:54 AM
What a race! White triangle is subliminal lust while Raquel is over the top jizz in my pants hott. But anchor chin is uber douche while grey goose fondler is merely neanderthal douche. Raquel gets my vote! Honorable mention must go to Rachelle, she looks very very good to me
# posted by : 11:09 AM
: 11:09 AM
The Puerto taint takes the cake. He makes me want to slap small children. There is still hope for honey butter boobies and her oversized hoop earrings. She loves me she just doesn't know it yet. On a side note: Popeye is an asshole
Anchor FTW
He is the personification of poo. The shaved chest, the gelled right-angle hair, even a hint of kissy lips. Raquel, get away from him before your catch his Bleeth swine flu.
He is the personification of poo. The shaved chest, the gelled right-angle hair, even a hint of kissy lips. Raquel, get away from him before your catch his Bleeth swine flu.
# posted by : 11:33 AM
: 11:33 AM
Raquel and Rachelle for HoH.
If I must pick a monthly it would be Anchor Chin because he waxed more of his body than Waxy McBrow. And that is a lot of hair.
If I must pick a monthly it would be Anchor Chin because he waxed more of his body than Waxy McBrow. And that is a lot of hair.
Chin for the win
No, he's not wearing a sweater vest, but he's got a V-neck that plunges down below his sternum.
No, he's not wearing a rosary, but he's got some kind of fucked-up Celtic bottle opener or some shit hanging from a shiny chain.
He's got a tough guy stare, carved facial hair and kissy lips.
Raquel has melons. And melons. And melons.
No, he's not wearing a sweater vest, but he's got a V-neck that plunges down below his sternum.
No, he's not wearing a rosary, but he's got some kind of fucked-up Celtic bottle opener or some shit hanging from a shiny chain.
He's got a tough guy stare, carved facial hair and kissy lips.
Raquel has melons. And melons. And melons.
Just seeing the Osmond Family Crest exhibited so close to a rosary really upsets the Catholic in me. This rectal scallop needs to swim with the fishes. And how skinny do you have to be for me to be able to see the tag on your shirt while you're wearing it?
Even though those jubblies are a touch on the large side for my taste, I'd still shoot cum on them until they looked like a big dumb guy with cataracts.
Then I would put my bald head between them so she'd look like the three-titted chick from Total Recall.
That's what I'll name this picture: Choadal Recall.
WMB and Tits McGee ftw.
Even though those jubblies are a touch on the large side for my taste, I'd still shoot cum on them until they looked like a big dumb guy with cataracts.
Then I would put my bald head between them so she'd look like the three-titted chick from Total Recall.
That's what I'll name this picture: Choadal Recall.
WMB and Tits McGee ftw.
I would say the Crimson Goose, but the picture doesn't displays his douchiness about as much as his hott's panties.
That said I think Waxy is too sleazy to be an uber-douche so I have to give it to Anchor and Raquel, even more so because she's spilling out of her shirt/bra.
That said I think Waxy is too sleazy to be an uber-douche so I have to give it to Anchor and Raquel, even more so because she's spilling out of her shirt/bra.
# posted by : 12:06 PM
: 12:06 PM
Waxy McBrow and Rachelle without a doubt. It's sad that deep pocketed family money has gravitated those perfect fun bags o'plenty. What kind of douche must a man be to not crack a giddy smile around such a cornucopia. No one buys your pseudo deserving heir doucher. Just pay the bills and let me clean your pool while your away.
Crimson Goose FTW. Texting and stroking off a bottle while she's making free with her quim. I'd call that doin' it grande.
# posted by : 12:15 PM
: 12:15 PM
As this isn't 'bleethy materialistic my wierd uncle touched me when I was little so I will never be beautiful unless I pump 50 tons of silicon into my body skanks with guido McPointy Snobfaces' and it is 'Hot Chicks With Douchebags'(which btw I'm still a bit pissed that the show isn't called HCwDB)....I forgo my vote for Waxy and Rachelle and...
The gauntlet must be thrown to Anchor Chin and Raquel for his offenses offend the very Navelstone of the Earth, a monsoon mistral tamontane simoom of doom loco sirocco, and she strides along like an ocean, rolling her boobs in a long ample pulsing swell, the double mystery of their coupling a hole punched in the universe.
The gauntlet must be thrown to Anchor Chin and Raquel for his offenses offend the very Navelstone of the Earth, a monsoon mistral tamontane simoom of doom loco sirocco, and she strides along like an ocean, rolling her boobs in a long ample pulsing swell, the double mystery of their coupling a hole punched in the universe.
Crimson Goose FTM. Grey Goose+ Grip of Said Grey Goose x Orange (distributed to the Gel Hair + the unbuttoned)x the multiplicative inverse of texting next to hott + eyes and boobie of hott= Hot Chick With Douchebag of the Month.
# posted by : 12:30 PM
: 12:30 PM
Raquel is the hottest, Goose is the douchiest... what to do, what to do.
Gonna have to go with Anchor Chin and Raquel.
Gonna have to go with Anchor Chin and Raquel.
# posted by : 12:43 PM
: 12:43 PM
I choose Goose for fondling that bottle and his cell phone while blithely ignoring the obviously willing red-hot next to him. That photo encapsulates, or me, the key themes of HCWD.
# posted by : 12:52 PM
: 12:52 PM
Crimson Goose, a real man would never leave a Hott to have to pleasure herself. You could lead her away by the hand to the Land of Sweet Dreams and he would still not have a clue.
Is it me or does Waxy McBrow look like David Byrne of Talking Heads fame? A much douchier version, but nonetheless...
# posted by : 1:28 PM
: 1:28 PM
Dang this ones tuff Im thinking waxy McBrow because hes a taint stain and he jizzed his pants infront of titts McGee
But Pop eye the Scrotter man is a walking smoking turd and has agagle of hot ass chicks Im fliping a coin on this one and its......Popeye FTW!!
But Pop eye the Scrotter man is a walking smoking turd and has agagle of hot ass chicks Im fliping a coin on this one and its......Popeye FTW!!
# posted by : 1:28 PM
: 1:28 PM
The shadow on waxy's pant makes him look like that boobie poke caused him to spill ed hardy embroidered semen all over his pantalones. Because of that and me wanting to be his cuticle he should win.
Waxy and Rachelle FTW
Waxy and Rachelle FTW
Anchor Chin and Raquel FTM.
Boobies Boobies Boobies!
Boobies all day long!
Boobies Boobies Boobies!
That choad can lick my dong!
So mad at that pic I could eat hornets.
Boobies Boobies Boobies!
Boobies all day long!
Boobies Boobies Boobies!
That choad can lick my dong!
So mad at that pic I could eat hornets.
# posted by : 1:44 PM
: 1:44 PM
Wow. Some seriously steep competition this month. Biggest douchebag is the Scroter Man, no doubt. 5 buxom females pose for a photo, but who cares? Fucking rocking the biceps, and everyone needs to know. Rachelle's funbags look sweet and savory. A culinary delight that calls to my mouth like a filet mignon with buttered asparagus and scalloped kohlrabi. Anchor Chin belongs in the sea, swimming amongst the brightly colored tropical douchebag-fishies. Can't you see his fin? Also, that pic is rockin a pair so propped up that Pixar is releasing a movie about them.
Despite all of these good reasons to vote for the other pics, I'm going to cast my lot with the Crimson Goose. Because that is a fucking caveman who can't even read, and he's sitting next to her. She's growing on me, with her little red dress and her come hither/half-amused stare. Holy White Triangle, it's gotta be her!
Despite all of these good reasons to vote for the other pics, I'm going to cast my lot with the Crimson Goose. Because that is a fucking caveman who can't even read, and he's sitting next to her. She's growing on me, with her little red dress and her come hither/half-amused stare. Holy White Triangle, it's gotta be her!
I vote for Waxy, because his smugness seems all too real. In Popeye's defense, he looks like he's goofing off. Anyone can get goofy around all that sizzling boobie-flesh!
Ok. Let's start with eliminations. Popeye looks like he's simply an annoyance to the hotts. Also, there's no clear hott-douche coupling. So he's out. Waxy is indeed douche, but he can't hang with Anchor Chin or King Crimson.
That leaves two.
Anchor Chin and Raquel are conventional. Sweet, perky, slightly Midwestern, she is what Rachelle from the Waxy pic should have been had she grown up in Aurora, Illinois and shopped at Piggly Wiggly. And Anchor Chin is overcompensating for years of being picked on in school for his chubbiness through hilarious facial hair, bling, and pout face in pursuit of the hott. He is supreme douche.
But there is no douche like The Crimson Goose. He has the whole array of douchal signifiers. Orange. Goose. Bling. More Orange. The spike. The Crimson Goose doesn't need a hott for validation. He only needs his phone. And isn't this what douche is all about? Ignoring the hott in service of self-aggrandizement?
And self-fondling Long Island hott, well, she is Real. Surrounded by douchal markers of cultural capital and bleak reminders of postmodern artifice, wallpaper books and orange Grey Goose-fondling douchescrotes, this simulacrum where the douche truth conceals that there is none--among all this she reminds us that, no, there is truth. And it is boobies.
That leaves two.
Anchor Chin and Raquel are conventional. Sweet, perky, slightly Midwestern, she is what Rachelle from the Waxy pic should have been had she grown up in Aurora, Illinois and shopped at Piggly Wiggly. And Anchor Chin is overcompensating for years of being picked on in school for his chubbiness through hilarious facial hair, bling, and pout face in pursuit of the hott. He is supreme douche.
But there is no douche like The Crimson Goose. He has the whole array of douchal signifiers. Orange. Goose. Bling. More Orange. The spike. The Crimson Goose doesn't need a hott for validation. He only needs his phone. And isn't this what douche is all about? Ignoring the hott in service of self-aggrandizement?
And self-fondling Long Island hott, well, she is Real. Surrounded by douchal markers of cultural capital and bleak reminders of postmodern artifice, wallpaper books and orange Grey Goose-fondling douchescrotes, this simulacrum where the douche truth conceals that there is none--among all this she reminds us that, no, there is truth. And it is boobies.
# posted by : 1:57 PM
: 1:57 PM
Anchor Chin.
If for no other reason than Raquel's boobies are about to spill faster than a terrorist on a waterboard...
If for no other reason than Raquel's boobies are about to spill faster than a terrorist on a waterboard...
Easy. The Hott to Scroat ratio of Raquel to Anchor Chin destroys the competition. Anchor Chin's facial pubes make his chin look like a partially shaved nutsack, while Raquel's milk pillows could feed africa, or at least make me the happiest motorboater in three states.
# posted by : 2:22 PM
: 2:22 PM
Although Rachelle is amazing, her consistent smile in every picture is slightly unnerving, decreasing her placement on the hotness scale. Thus, Raquel wins in that round.
That brings it down to Anchor Chin and Waxy McBrow. And although Waxy does indeed induce primal screams of outrage, Anchor Chin's douchosity inspires far more anguish.
Finalist #1.
That brings it down to Anchor Chin and Waxy McBrow. And although Waxy does indeed induce primal screams of outrage, Anchor Chin's douchosity inspires far more anguish.
Finalist #1.
# posted by : 2:29 PM
: 2:29 PM
Popeye the Scroterman! He's a douche. He's a scrote. He's the Scroterman...what's not to like?
# posted by : 2:45 PM
: 2:45 PM
I'm gonna go with the Albanian car salesman, Waxy McBrow. Rachelle is bouncy and smiley and just might be open to anal. I like her.
I'm having a cans time breasting between the tits. However, because of her big, round, scary eyes, I must say Raquel FTW.
Oh yes, and Anchor Chin's arrogant mug deserves to keel hauled.
Douchetros Douchetros Ghali
Oh yes, and Anchor Chin's arrogant mug deserves to keel hauled.
Douchetros Douchetros Ghali
# posted by : 3:32 PM
: 3:32 PM
This is arguably the strongest monthly ever. But it has to be Crimson Goose on overwhelming levels. We've mentioned the tan, the "library," the fondling, the texting.
But what sets this pic apart is how abdundantly clear it is that this photo -- this moment in time -- crystalizes how hot chicks and the douchebags really don't give a fuck about each other or anyone else. They only give a fuck about what looks cool for the camera.
Goose: Hot chick? Blackberry? Trendy booze? Do I look cooly disinterested like this is a screen test for the CW? Check.
LIH: Too skimpy dress? Looking aroused? Metrosexual choad? Do I look like I'm ready for Maxim? Check.
This is the Rosetta Stone for damn near every HCwDB pic I see, unless the chick is totally Bleethed.
I hate them both. Oh, I wanna kiss LIH all over in the dark. But I hate them both.
This photo is indicative of why the media forces TomKat, Spiedi -- why the hell do we know these humps, anyway? It's a photo marriage of mutual self-interest. We kick it with each other. We get looked at by lots of people. What's your name again?
Crimson Goose for the f-ing win.
But what sets this pic apart is how abdundantly clear it is that this photo -- this moment in time -- crystalizes how hot chicks and the douchebags really don't give a fuck about each other or anyone else. They only give a fuck about what looks cool for the camera.
Goose: Hot chick? Blackberry? Trendy booze? Do I look cooly disinterested like this is a screen test for the CW? Check.
LIH: Too skimpy dress? Looking aroused? Metrosexual choad? Do I look like I'm ready for Maxim? Check.
This is the Rosetta Stone for damn near every HCwDB pic I see, unless the chick is totally Bleethed.
I hate them both. Oh, I wanna kiss LIH all over in the dark. But I hate them both.
This photo is indicative of why the media forces TomKat, Spiedi -- why the hell do we know these humps, anyway? It's a photo marriage of mutual self-interest. We kick it with each other. We get looked at by lots of people. What's your name again?
Crimson Goose for the f-ing win.
# posted by : 3:34 PM
: 3:34 PM
This was not easy, but Raquel....damn! Double-D damn! I mean, just look at that rack of sweater meat. And those things are home grown, not store bought, no question about it. And thank you Raquel for providing such a wonderful view of those treasures at the end of the rainbow. Now if I can just figure out how to Photoshop that dude out of the picture, I will have a new screensaver.
And that face, what an angel! It took me about 20 minutes of staring at that photo before I even realized there was another person in it.
Then I looked at Anchor, and immediately threw up my chicken Alfredo and garlic toast lunch. Everything about that guy just screams out disgusting douche. He has not one redeeming quality, not one. As the late great Rodney Dangerfield said, "No wonder tigers eat their young." That person should not be permitted to be in the same area code as my Raquel.
Come home Raquel, all is forgiven.
And that face, what an angel! It took me about 20 minutes of staring at that photo before I even realized there was another person in it.
Then I looked at Anchor, and immediately threw up my chicken Alfredo and garlic toast lunch. Everything about that guy just screams out disgusting douche. He has not one redeeming quality, not one. As the late great Rodney Dangerfield said, "No wonder tigers eat their young." That person should not be permitted to be in the same area code as my Raquel.
Come home Raquel, all is forgiven.
# posted by : 3:49 PM
: 3:49 PM
Cherry, Anchor and Raquel for the win. Because Russ would have wanted it that way. Rackquel has just his sort of "girl next door with large breasts" look. The kind that says "Oh, I'll protest a little, then I'll let you sodomize me in the hayloft." And by "hayloft" I mean backdoor. And by b oh never mind
And to all the anons . . . you can just PICK THE NAME/URL RADIO BUTTON AND TYPE IN A NAME. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A WEBSITE. I DO IT EVERY TIME I POST. IT'S NOT DIFFICULT.
And to all the anons . . . you can just PICK THE NAME/URL RADIO BUTTON AND TYPE IN A NAME. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A WEBSITE. I DO IT EVERY TIME I POST. IT'S NOT DIFFICULT.
# posted by : 4:52 PM
: 4:52 PM
Anchor chin and Raquel, because she is indeed the luscious(smile) of the luscious(boobies) and he is fit to be keel-hauled and then sunken to the bottom of the sea where his chin will anchor him permanently in oceanic detritus.
# posted by : 5:13 PM
: 5:13 PM
Once again, a very difficult weekly, so we must apply the process of elimination.
Popeye deserves at least a dishonorable mention for flexing in an Ed Hardy shirt with a dangling cigarette. But no visible Hott (which nearly bounced Fung from ever being posted - can you believe it?) disqualifies him. And by "disqualify", I mean "eradicate".
AC and Raquel -- there seems to be a groundswell here but I just can't get on the bandwagon. Fun bags notwithstanding, the crazy eyes don't do much for me and AC looks more like a garden variety stage 2 scrote than an icon of douchewankery, and he may in fact be mildly retarded. That said I'd vote for inducting Raquel into a newly-created "Hall of Motorboatin'".
Waxy and Rachelle -- Definitely a contender, if only for lovely Rachelle (see HOM induction point above). Waxy is all that is wrong about Southern Eurobags but he doesn't inspire as much rage as I hope to see in a fully-formed DB. Call him a jerk, a pud, an anal sore, etc., but the DB designation must be earned.
And so we find ourselves with the Crimson Goose. An unearthly orange color, double-fondling his phallic vodka bottle and his digital penis (aka his blackberry), while ignoring the self-fondling HWT to his right (who kinda looks like Raquel with a smaller rack). Wallpaper background is a throw-in but I love it.
For representing all that is wrong in our society, we salute you CG. And by "salute", I mean "kick in the nads, you assclown".
Crimson Goose FTW
Popeye deserves at least a dishonorable mention for flexing in an Ed Hardy shirt with a dangling cigarette. But no visible Hott (which nearly bounced Fung from ever being posted - can you believe it?) disqualifies him. And by "disqualify", I mean "eradicate".
AC and Raquel -- there seems to be a groundswell here but I just can't get on the bandwagon. Fun bags notwithstanding, the crazy eyes don't do much for me and AC looks more like a garden variety stage 2 scrote than an icon of douchewankery, and he may in fact be mildly retarded. That said I'd vote for inducting Raquel into a newly-created "Hall of Motorboatin'".
Waxy and Rachelle -- Definitely a contender, if only for lovely Rachelle (see HOM induction point above). Waxy is all that is wrong about Southern Eurobags but he doesn't inspire as much rage as I hope to see in a fully-formed DB. Call him a jerk, a pud, an anal sore, etc., but the DB designation must be earned.
And so we find ourselves with the Crimson Goose. An unearthly orange color, double-fondling his phallic vodka bottle and his digital penis (aka his blackberry), while ignoring the self-fondling HWT to his right (who kinda looks like Raquel with a smaller rack). Wallpaper background is a throw-in but I love it.
For representing all that is wrong in our society, we salute you CG. And by "salute", I mean "kick in the nads, you assclown".
Crimson Goose FTW
# posted by : 6:41 PM
: 6:41 PM
Waxy and Rachelle FTW, Waxy should be sent to some gulag along with Fung and Bra! Rachelle and Katerina for HoH now DB1!!!
# posted by : 7:11 PM
: 7:11 PM
I can't understand all the votes for Waxy and Anchor based on the boobies of their hotts. Rachelle is pure silicon, a substance which, as we know from the Gospel of Mix-A-Lot, is suitable only for toys. And aside from the implants, she's nothing special.
Raquel is wearing a too-tight padded push-up bra that greatly exaggerates the size of her boobies by squeezing them like some kind of frickin' renaissance fair costume. Minus the squashed boobs, all you've got is a girl with super-crazy eyes and a creepy smile.
Now compare those two to Katerina, who was probably a mermaid minutes before that shot was taken.
Raquel is wearing a too-tight padded push-up bra that greatly exaggerates the size of her boobies by squeezing them like some kind of frickin' renaissance fair costume. Minus the squashed boobs, all you've got is a girl with super-crazy eyes and a creepy smile.
Now compare those two to Katerina, who was probably a mermaid minutes before that shot was taken.
# posted by : 8:31 PM
: 8:31 PM
rather moor my boat with Rachelle's floaties, than with Anchor Chin... so there goes my vote!
& by moor, I mean stab repeatedly with my dick
& by moor, I mean stab repeatedly with my dick
Oh, it's gotta be Anchor Chin and Raquel.
Because she has cheekbones that could have been sculpted by Michelangelo. And then there's boobies. Plump, round, black satin-clad boobies pushed up by some soft pink material... they haunt my dreams. He has chin pubes that could have been sculpted by a gay hairdresser named Pablo. And then there's his man-cleavage, also plump and black fabric-covered. He haunts my dreams in an entirely different way. A sleazy way. And I want to smack him and steal Raquel and sleep on her satiny pillows until the nightmare stops.
Because she has cheekbones that could have been sculpted by Michelangelo. And then there's boobies. Plump, round, black satin-clad boobies pushed up by some soft pink material... they haunt my dreams. He has chin pubes that could have been sculpted by a gay hairdresser named Pablo. And then there's his man-cleavage, also plump and black fabric-covered. He haunts my dreams in an entirely different way. A sleazy way. And I want to smack him and steal Raquel and sleep on her satiny pillows until the nightmare stops.
# posted by : 8:54 PM
: 8:54 PM
a long, long, long time ago, i once believed that before i am able to cast a vote in this monthly, my penis would implode under the combined forces of Raquel, HWT, and Rachelle.
but - but - i must fulfill my duties as a baghunter. and i must cast my vote. therefore, i vote - and vote - and vote - for the douchebag wearing the shirt with the deepest V neck plunge - ANCHOR CHIN. because i make my judgment on completely random characteristics like that.
but - but - i must fulfill my duties as a baghunter. and i must cast my vote. therefore, i vote - and vote - and vote - for the douchebag wearing the shirt with the deepest V neck plunge - ANCHOR CHIN. because i make my judgment on completely random characteristics like that.
Anchor chin FTW , boobies and the desire to let him drown in a vat of his own hair grease .
# posted by : 9:19 PM
: 9:19 PM
This was a tough month, all 4 guys make me want to go to Costco to purchase a twin chainsaw bundle so I can start cutting down trees containing endangered animals, but Anchor chin FTW. She is gorgeous, he is a skid mark.
# posted by : 9:20 PM
: 9:20 PM
I suppose the only real solution is to pose Anchor Chin, Raquel, Waxy McBrow and Rachelle together in a bed and photo it and let it be the "Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice" of douchebaggery.
Then we'd all be confused, but at least 95% of us would be satisfied.
Photoshoppers, please come forward with your skillbags and give us the show.
Then we'd all be confused, but at least 95% of us would be satisfied.
Photoshoppers, please come forward with your skillbags and give us the show.
# posted by : 9:54 PM
: 9:54 PM
Yep, it's almost a photo finish here 'baghunters. But after long and painful reflection, it has to be Waxy McBrow for the win. Anchor Chin's hott (of the magnificent orbs) is probably hotter than Waxy's hott, but the fact that Waxy waxes HIS HANDS was the clincher. What a choad!
# posted by : 10:17 PM
: 10:17 PM
Anchor Chin FTW for a couple of reasons. She's smiling. He's not. She has the rack of the century and he has pubic hair on his chin.
Crimson Goose is a close second only because of the wallpaper behind him. Oh, and the holy white triangle.
Still, boobies doth prevail.
Crimson Goose is a close second only because of the wallpaper behind him. Oh, and the holy white triangle.
Still, boobies doth prevail.
While Rachelle looks like an incredibly confused hott who could one day be a cute/slutty girl next door with adequate separation from the poo, Raquel just plain scares me and is probably destined to be a douchebabe with douchebags forever. Although Anchor's waxed chest is hard to ignore, The fact that Waxy McBrow's girl is so out of his league means he wins, for now.
# posted by : 11:16 PM
: 11:16 PM
Popeye the Scroter Man (toot!)
Please bash him with a paint can, (toot!)
His love is abounding
For him, how astounding
It's Popeye the Scroter Man (TOOT TOOT!)
Sorry, got caught up in the moment. Feel free to add on if you wish.
By the way, db1, I'm mad at you for naming this scrote-lick after one of my fave cartoon characters.
Please bash him with a paint can, (toot!)
His love is abounding
For him, how astounding
It's Popeye the Scroter Man (TOOT TOOT!)
Sorry, got caught up in the moment. Feel free to add on if you wish.
By the way, db1, I'm mad at you for naming this scrote-lick after one of my fave cartoon characters.
# posted by : 12:18 AM
: 12:18 AM
Despite points for surrealism, it seems to me that the Goose there could conceivably have just received news that his mother had died in a gruesome anal bleaching accident, which could explain the desperate clutching of his only remaining friend in life, to the exclusion of the LIH and the rest of his surroundings. It doesn't make him any less of a douche, but it takes the existential sting out of the flagrant waste of boob fondle/white triangle.
Popeye, sadly, never had a chance against such rank fecal poo and brazenly breastacular boobery.
2 douches remain... one shall pose, one shall Kade. Like a gang sign version of the game choad/scroter/douchebag, these poo logs square off strategically. Wax from brow sizzles, and threatens depilatory oblivion to AC's signature mange. Choadhawk counters with perturbed sneer, but hairless chimp finger feints toward cleavage. Church key clashes against rosary... the urine flows warm onto the pantleg... and when sun rises and the axe clears, we are left with only one sight.
Racquel's spectacular rack.
Because holy shit, will you look at those titties.
AC&R FTW
Popeye, sadly, never had a chance against such rank fecal poo and brazenly breastacular boobery.
2 douches remain... one shall pose, one shall Kade. Like a gang sign version of the game choad/scroter/douchebag, these poo logs square off strategically. Wax from brow sizzles, and threatens depilatory oblivion to AC's signature mange. Choadhawk counters with perturbed sneer, but hairless chimp finger feints toward cleavage. Church key clashes against rosary... the urine flows warm onto the pantleg... and when sun rises and the axe clears, we are left with only one sight.
Racquel's spectacular rack.
Because holy shit, will you look at those titties.
AC&R FTW
While Waxy and Rachelle make me reconsider the concepts of globes and possibilititties; while the Crimson Goose photo is a PSA that uselessness has replaced soul.....
Anchor Chin's "a recollection of Xenu" punchface flavored with a Sharpied-nutsack chin-hair-thing and the Rack-elle, the Raquel.
Stomach cancer, I want that for him. That and the monthly.
Anchor Chin's "a recollection of Xenu" punchface flavored with a Sharpied-nutsack chin-hair-thing and the Rack-elle, the Raquel.
Stomach cancer, I want that for him. That and the monthly.
Crimson Goose, if only for the darkness of the tan and the shine on the forehead. Plus the seeming lack of interest in the hottie.
it has to be a anchor chin and raquell for the win. this coupling is the ultimate miscarriage of justice, and by justice i mean huge rack
Anchor Chin and Raquel.
Though can she be as innocent as she looks with those boobies?
Crimson Goose is a close second. How does he get such magnificent color in - I mean, on- his skin?
Definitely AC&R.
Though can she be as innocent as she looks with those boobies?
Crimson Goose is a close second. How does he get such magnificent color in - I mean, on- his skin?
Definitely AC&R.
# posted by : 8:20 AM
: 8:20 AM
Waxy is most punchable... you can tell his eyebrows would cover his entire forehead if not shaved. Waxy ftw peace
# posted by : 10:21 AM
: 10:21 AM
As much as I hate chin pubes and am enamored of Raquel's assets, the hirsute one just grinds my gears.
Hands down.
Waxy McBrow FTW
Hands down.
Waxy McBrow FTW
# posted by : 11:15 AM
: 11:15 AM
Wow. 1, 2, and 3 are all contenders. However, Anchor and Raquel FTW
However, even though three may represent what we conceive HCwDB to be (a douche ruining the hot), the evidence is just not there that these girls reach the level of hot required to be a contender for the monthly.
Crimson Goose is a winner, however his hot does not carry the weight. While RedDress is seductive, the white triangle actually detracts from the hottness as it shows she is fallible and human, just like the rest of us who make a milkshake using easy-mac powder.
Anchor Chin and Raquel represent everything that HCwDB is about. Raquel is perfect in every which way. The smile warms your heart and your pants, and you'd propose to her on the spot if they didn't have the restraining order on you already. Anchor Chin represents the juxtaposition: too much flab chest exposed, unnecessary bling, pouty face, douche facial hair, and hair gelled to douche-fection. He is what makes you angry in life. He is why you hate your job, because he delivers your mail in the office, replenishes the water cooler, or pulls your pizza out of the oven and doesn't give you the discount since you didn't bring the fucking coupon.
However, even though three may represent what we conceive HCwDB to be (a douche ruining the hot), the evidence is just not there that these girls reach the level of hot required to be a contender for the monthly.
Crimson Goose is a winner, however his hot does not carry the weight. While RedDress is seductive, the white triangle actually detracts from the hottness as it shows she is fallible and human, just like the rest of us who make a milkshake using easy-mac powder.
Anchor Chin and Raquel represent everything that HCwDB is about. Raquel is perfect in every which way. The smile warms your heart and your pants, and you'd propose to her on the spot if they didn't have the restraining order on you already. Anchor Chin represents the juxtaposition: too much flab chest exposed, unnecessary bling, pouty face, douche facial hair, and hair gelled to douche-fection. He is what makes you angry in life. He is why you hate your job, because he delivers your mail in the office, replenishes the water cooler, or pulls your pizza out of the oven and doesn't give you the discount since you didn't bring the fucking coupon.
# posted by : 12:11 PM
: 12:11 PM
as much or as hard as one might try, the forebearance of the suckle thigh on one's decision making process is overwhelming this month. the entire voting process has devolved into a contest, not of the douche but of the hott. as much as one might think that their decisions are of an informed and independent basis completely free from the causal link of background information with its systemic basis formed upon the suckling of thy mothers teet, the truth of the matter is that the boobies ARE the determining factor this month and your ability to exercise your free will is illusory. having said that, raquels reign supreme, and by extension anchor chin is the winner of our monthly.
# posted by : 12:24 PM
: 12:24 PM
just reread my post & it seems unclear as to my preference... it is Raquel's floaties I want to "moor" my boat to, Anchor Chin I want to lash to an untethered anchor & toss on a reef
Anchor Chin & Raquel for the win
Anchor Chin & Raquel for the win
Waxy McBrow.
Rachelles boobifery is delicious. They make me deliberate with my ID if scalloped potatoes are my favorite edible.
That coupled with the image of Waxy manhandling the luscious while appearing to have urinated in his pants makes me want to end it all with a cup of heated diet coke.
Rachelles boobifery is delicious. They make me deliberate with my ID if scalloped potatoes are my favorite edible.
That coupled with the image of Waxy manhandling the luscious while appearing to have urinated in his pants makes me want to end it all with a cup of heated diet coke.
# posted by : 4:28 PM
: 4:28 PM
Only a guy like Waxy could bring shame to a Nun with the display of a Rosary. He is classic douche and is probably drinking Korbel. And boobs.
# posted by : 4:45 PM
: 4:45 PM
Anchor Chin and Raquel, for those boobies are luscious, like velvet pillows upon which I would like to slumber as a dog basks in the warm glow of the afternoon sun streaming through a skylight.
# posted by : 6:18 PM
: 6:18 PM
Popeye the Scroter Man ...aahgghghghghghhgghgh... it takes a special douche to obstruct the view of a gaggle of hotts in such a manner, but the composition of this photo does not merit the monthly.
I think Anchor Chin/Raquel and WaxyMcB/Rachelle cancel one another out, although both Raquel and Rachelle [in particular, Rachelle Rachelle] merit an HoH nom.
That leaves us with the Crimson Goose and LI Hott, whose glimmering triangle and provocative self-fondle amidst the PoMo setting throw the simian Crimson Goose into sharp relief and by sharp relief I mean in front of a fast moving, large MTA vehicle let us hope anyways.
Crimson Goose/LI Hott FTW and Rachelle Rachelle for HoH.
--VS
I think Anchor Chin/Raquel and WaxyMcB/Rachelle cancel one another out, although both Raquel and Rachelle [in particular, Rachelle Rachelle] merit an HoH nom.
That leaves us with the Crimson Goose and LI Hott, whose glimmering triangle and provocative self-fondle amidst the PoMo setting throw the simian Crimson Goose into sharp relief and by sharp relief I mean in front of a fast moving, large MTA vehicle let us hope anyways.
Crimson Goose/LI Hott FTW and Rachelle Rachelle for HoH.
--VS
# posted by : 6:51 PM
: 6:51 PM
Let me try the song and dance bit again.
It's Popeye the Scroter Man (toot!)
Bash his head with a paint can (toot)
He smokes lotsa choads
and he looks like a toad
It's Popeye the Scroter Man (toot!)
He grunts and he flexes,
the ladies he sexes
means nothing more than a cheap fling
His muskles a-bulging
He's overindulging
To make up for his small peen.
Amazing what you can think when you're half asleep.
It's Popeye the Scroter Man (toot!)
Bash his head with a paint can (toot)
He smokes lotsa choads
and he looks like a toad
It's Popeye the Scroter Man (toot!)
He grunts and he flexes,
the ladies he sexes
means nothing more than a cheap fling
His muskles a-bulging
He's overindulging
To make up for his small peen.
Amazing what you can think when you're half asleep.
# posted by : 9:32 PM
: 9:32 PM
Waxy.
Because if he wins he's in for yearly, if he wins that he's in the HOS, and once he's there the picture of Rachelle will be handily indexed at left.
For the lonely nights. O, the lo-ho-honely nights.
Duty now for the future, bitches.
Because if he wins he's in for yearly, if he wins that he's in the HOS, and once he's there the picture of Rachelle will be handily indexed at left.
For the lonely nights. O, the lo-ho-honely nights.
Duty now for the future, bitches.
Anchor Chin. Bloodshot eyes ,receding hairline/hawk, terrible bling over a shave chest, he has it all. Popeye completely stealing the photo and 'books as wallpaper' make tough competition; but the hott with AC takes the cake. She's proud to be in a douchey picture with said douche, and proud to show off her new tits, and delighted that you're staring at them.
# posted by : 3:00 AM
: 3:00 AM
Yes I think proud of the fake boobies is worth mentioning, the fact that they are as perfectly round and dodgeball size do me in.
Anon 3:05
Anon 3:05
# posted by : 3:06 AM
: 3:06 AM
PICK THE CRIMSON GOOSE DAMMIT! OR I'M GOING TO BOOF BOSTONDOUCHEBAG 'TIL HE SCREAMS LIKE A PUSSY!
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# posted by : 12:17 PM
: 12:17 PM << Home
