"Biggest pet peeve.....I don't know what da fuck dat means."

The perfect introduction to the worst shit our culture has ever taken.
 

This is truly putrid and defies description. The last minute clearly illustrates a society rotting from within.

Am I the only one who finds the bleeths here more objectionable than the dbags...most of them seem like harmless muscleheads or fratbags, but the bleeths make me want to torture Hello Kitty with dental implements.
 

that place should be carpet bombed
 

Wow.

The live action guid speeches add another dimension of anger that you just don't get when looking at the pictures.

I am almost speechless after witnessing that.
 

I'm reminded of a little diddy I learned in 1996 in the hills of Camp Pendleton.



NAAAAAApaaaaaaaaalllm STICKS TO KIDS!



What kind of adults do you think they will make? Will any of them develop into mature adults? Will they forever live as a plaque blockage in the artery of America's heart?

Seriously folks, I'm looking for a reason not to advocate sterilization of the whole lot.
 

That Dino douche has quite the honker, looks like Alf.
 

This reminds me of a scene from the planet of the apes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRG6ahCs_t0&NR=1
 

The human race is doomed.
 

You guys, I'm a little worried over here... Like, right after I watched this video, I noticed small, red blisters on my genital area. Then I experienced painful urination. Then I had unusual penile discharge.

Is that bad, you guys? I mean, I just watched it ONE TIME. I wasn't even drunk or anything. And it's not like I was the only one watching it-- everybody was watching it...




Shit...
 

... and I DARE to question how did Bush & Cheney manage to get away with it for 8 yrs...

this clip is funny, frightening , sickening and sad.. the best thing about it is , as Grace Jones sings in "Private Life".. "Its OK on TV , but you can turn it off.."

I agree with above posts, the women seem 10x more obnoxious than any of the DB's here.. ugh. like some bizarre mashup of Aileen Wuornos & a Mafia wife..

(Note to self) never travel to Jersey shore alone & unarmed
 

wow that just reminded me why this site exists thankyou
 

I never saw the fight coming, brilliant!

Did you notice the future-husband popped his collar after the fight?
 

I'm not sure what offended me more, the Jersey accents, the cookie cutter look of the broads (who aren't even close to being hot) or the stupidity of the bags and bleeths alike.

Ok, it's the accent. Every time I hear that accent I wanna take a bat to the offender. For those of you who are worried about the human race, you're on the money. Life is much too easy compared to how it used to be when imbeciles like the ones shown in this vid would die off from natural selection.

I miss the olden times.
 

look around, you see all the juice heads?
 

Alright, I don't EVER want to hear any motherfucker north of the Mason-Dixon Line ragging on how stupid rednecks are.

I feel like running to Wal-Mart, finding the first coon-ass skoal-dipping NASCAR fan and his big-haired wife and hugging them both.

Fuck New Jersey. I'm speechless.
 

It's Old #7. Did anyone else notice?
 

This should be the pilot of new reality tv series. Screw "Real Housewives of NJ" give us "Guido Beach."
 

The more I come to this site, the more I wonder why I ever spent a minute of my life with low-self esteem.

I don't think I've ever felt smarter or hotter in my life.

Those girls look really beat for not even being 25.
 

@ DarkSock --

Keeeerist, dude...don't go overboard. Don't hit the WalMart just yet...viewing this clip I had a grand douchunification experience...it ain't just at Guido Beach.

But damn, I was expecting some much more wack shit...I came away from my first viewing of "Guido Beach" a bit let down, the mom getting in on the action at the end was giggle-worthy, but predictable.
 

@ Axel:

I was thinking that was Ol' #7 too, but I wasn't sure if that was just some acid shaking loose from the '80s. I think you're right.
 

@ Lulu

Amen.
 

That was one of the best posts yet
 

Wow. One of those times I'm happy I'm from the South. Say what you want about our toothless hillbillies, we're still more human then those people.
 

"It's Wagner... my boys love it & it scares the shit outta the Gueeds!"
 

The South certainly has it's culture issues but I always thought I was safe from this sort of thing. But....Ed Hardy is now showing up in our clubs. Affliction and bling has been here for a while. At the lake today I saw a choad in a polo with popped collar and 80 degree hat tilt. I thought I was safe, I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE!!
 

To say that I hate everyone in this video is an understatement. There is nobody in this video worth a shit. These people are plague. Worthless, unemployed loser retards with their butt-ugly skanks that think their shit don't stink. Everyone here should be deported.
 

I'm...I'm scared. I mean. Like. Dude.

Dude.

Did...did you watch that?

Those...those things...

I've got an accounting test tomorrow and I won't be able to think about anything for this. Possibly for the rest of my life, this is it.

I'm haunted.
 

hey is that one guy from the tila tequila show? you know, the one that trashed the set? and would yell 'jersey'

why do i know this...
 

this guy:

http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/tila_tequila/cast_member/cast_member.jhtml
 

Can we give New Jersey back to England? Not that they would want it now.
 

Ahhh....Thanks, DB1. I was having a bit of a crisis in these last few days, and I think you've reassured me a bit. I'm moving in for the kill on that central Illinois shanty in the next few weeks and was starting to get cold feet. I was wondering if I was really meant to be so far from the city and its way of life. There's no question that I could thrive in redneck country as I'm rather resourceful, but I was wondering if it might have an adverse effect, as if I might become dumber as a result of my surroundings? Not that I'd start watching NASCAR or anything, of course, but certain things do rub off with repeated exposure. I notice I'm saying "innit" a lot now, as in, "nice day, innit?"

However....seeing this video again reminds me that redneck, not redneckbag, I mean real redneck, is an antidote to Grieco virus, therefore I'm safer from the scourge down here. There are tanning booths and acrylic nail shops on campus, but away from the university it's relatively bag-free. I'm making the right decision. And many, many handgun purchases.
 

My brain now hurts. Thanks for making me wish I had a kitten to set on fire..........
 

This is why the assault weapon ban is so shortsighted.
 

pure gold..
 

I blame all of their parents, although these fucking morons will also breed and I will eventually blame them as well.
 

I don't think the bouncer dude was that bad. I mean, I may just be speaking in comparison with the other douches on there, but he reminds me of other bouncer types I know, very laid back guys with a "you do whatever you want, I'll do what I want regardless." Most of them are cool guys to hang out with because they're self confidant without needing to show off.

The rest of them, yikes, they have to open their mouths and remind you that they actually exist in the real world on a daily basis. That's the scary part, they don't just come out for photographs and disappear again.
 

Ohhh! So that's why Al-Qaeda hates us!
 

The last time I saw something this scary, I was watching Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom."I may be vile and pugnacious
but you can't look away

"I make you think I'm delicious
with the stuff that I say

I'm the best you can get
Have you guessed me, yet?
I'm the slime oozin' out
from your TV set.

- Frank Zappa, I'm The SlimeGee LeDouche
 

as soon as i got past Amy i was thinking, "oh my fucking god, couldn't you have interviewed a hotter chick? like one of those sexy dancer types with pearly white skin that you kinda skimmed past?"

but speaking of Amy, how can any hot-blooded and morally upright human being witness her speech and not be a hater? after listening to her swooning over and fellating that 1% of the male population who happens to be married to a Mexican and then accusing the remaining 99% of the male population for trying too hard, how can that 99% of the male population not scream "YOU FUCKING SKAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!" at the top of their lungs?

being a hater in this context is partly about making a lemonade out of a lemon when life tosses you a lemon. but, in a more serious tone, being a hater is not about advocating hate literature, but making the point that silencing your critics with politically correct buzzwords (such as and especially HATERS) doesn't make you any less morally bankrupt.
 

oh and Dino gets brownie points for being able to count to two. well, technically he counted to three because he knew what a THREESOME is. i shouldn't be too harsh on him.
 

An oldie but goodie. Very glad to see its return.

One definition of "class" is popped-collar dude immediately doing a dry-hump thrust on Jen's mom.

- Oucheday Agbay
 

It's a whole lot worse than when the actors in the silent movies were suddenly forced to speak in the talkies, and the discovery of their often rotten voices shocked the moveigoers. That was it, career over, "looks" is only half the gig ("are" is proper, but "is" here is more Jerseyite)/

Sort of like radio voice in reverse, when the vocal talent appeared on TV and was exposed as an ugly, weird, or extreme overweight dildo. Hmmm, Rush comes to mind here....
 

I'd be tempted to say they all washed down shore from the sewers of NYC, but the Gulf Stream flows north, not south.

And that would be letting them all off the hook.
 

All there is to say is to quote that last guy, after the fight.

"That's GOOOLD, it's liquid GOLD!"

fantastic way to end my working day :)
 

If I may be so bold as to read Future-Husband's mind.

"Wow, just met this chick. She's already talking shit, and now I meet her hot mom. Maybe a mother-daughter banquet is in store?"

"Wow! What a fight! That chick and her mom are fuckin crazy!"

"Oh, shit! I didn't get her phone number! I hope the police haven't already taken her to jail"

Because that's what I would have been thinking. Because that's why we love the Hotts.
 

Isn't that old no.7 aka cro bagnon?
 

Speechless. There are similar neanderthals in this part of the world too. We call them "rugby heads"
 

Who/what came first... the Guido or the Douchebag?
 

I once read an article (wish I had a link) about a group of linguists who were trying to come up with what they thought would be a fool-proof set of symbols of warning. Their premise was that, in the not-too-distant-future, it was entirely possible that society would collapse due to war, famine, what-have-you, and the ability to read most written languages would be lost. They could use these symbols to warn the devo'd humans of dangers, as in, "Yo, there's toxic waste in this bunker, don't go in!" It was an interesting article, but I didn't think too much of it.

Until I saw "What da fuk is a pet peeve?" guy. Then I understood the real target population for the linguists' work.
 

@ Mr. White

I'm thinking that a handful of emoticons would do it for these people.

"What's your biggest pet peeve?" = "What makes you >:-[ ?"
 

@ Gee LaDouche/Anon. 8:34 pm --

DUDE! Don't be misquotin' tha Zappa, bra!

It's "vile and PERNICIOUS," my fellow choad choker, not "pugnacious."

And, if I may be so bold (tongue in ass-cheek)...FZ in that particular tune ain't talkin' 'bout
guidos or Jerz skanks.

"I'm the tool of government
and industry too
So I am destined to rule,
and regulate you."

I mean, jeeez...but you're right on about FZ having many a ditty that could describe the same targets, pre-DB1 era: Valley Girl, I'm So Cute, I'm A Beautiful Guy, Catholic Girls, Jewish Princess, Lemme Take You To The Beach, Yo' Mama, Cocaine Decisions, Wet T-Shirt Nite, etc etc etc.

The delicious irony of of all this mockitude is that FZ tours always did the best on the East Coast, from Baltimo' to Boston. Heh. Proving that some pre-HCWDB bags and bleeths had a sense of humor...or were just as moronic as the current batch.
 

@Anonymous 2:07

That's what i was thinking too. But if so he's nixed the facial fur and diminished his douche-ness.
 

"I fractured my thigh"
 

Regarding the 8 years of Bush/Cheney, New Jersey went solidly Democrat in those 8 years. Not trying to make a connection, I'm just saying....
 

If there is any link proven between rap and the decline of society, that was it. Guidos? In reality just a bunch of wiggers.
 

I lived in NJ from 1964 until 1977 (grade school to my junior year in high school). "The Shore" used to be fun way back then. When I was younger I went with my family. When I was a bit older I went with my friends.

Between the 85 IQ Guidos and the grinding ho's, I'd be happy if a tidal wave washed it away. This is beyond mocking; it is just disgusting. Nuke it from orbit.

That last minute is the Decline and Fall of Western Civilization.

Pravda was right. Backhandedly.
 

@ Douchology Scrotographer at 2:29PM

Last night while driving through a rather tony area of Houston, I came across a high school kid driving a Range Rover (most likely daddy bought it for him).

In addition to the 87 degree hat tilt, it was nearly vertical in a downward direction. I see this kid as I'm turning a corner, stop, point, and burst out laughing. My wife is puzzled as to why I've stopped in the middle of a three-way intersection, so she ducks down a little and looks through the corner of the windshield.

The kid rolls his window down, looking all tough (sister or girlfriend in front seat). I rolled down my window and said, "Hey, nice hat tilt, douchebag!" The hat chose that moment to fall off, out of the SUV, and into the street. My wife and I drove off, laughing our asses off.

I'm sure he hurried home to ask his mom what a "douchebag" was. Either that or he googled it.
 

There is so much wrong with this video...but it feels oh so right!
 

@darksock

i totally agree with you....i live in south florida and i would take all the rednecks down here before i would want one jersey shitbag
 

CroBagnon speaks!
 

Thats fuckin sweet Im packin up the wife and kids and we are headin to the shore...forget about it
 

That's not even funny anymore. It's confusing and frightening and I'm just so ........ sad.
 

Oh my god, I can't believe I'm related on a genetic level to those trash-bags.

I've never laughed so hard on a lunch break in my entire life.
 

I'm happy that the only thing I have in common with these "people" is planet-of-origin.
 

I've been to the Jersey shore about six or seven times in my lifetime. Want to know why? Because of shit like this, and what's worse, the guidos start fights with me out of nowhere. I've been around this crap every instance I went down the shore so this is nothing new to me.
 

Wow, just wow. Every once in a while I'll see something that says "maybe you shouldn't leave this pitiful rock in the middle of the ocean just yet." I am happy that there's a country and ocean between me and whatever the hell THAT was. They say we have a giant pile of trash floating in our water - I beg to differ. I will take scary mokes chasing me off the property they're squatting on any day over that.
 

I remember submitting this to DB1 two or three months ago... Since then, I've stopped wasting my life looking at these morons. I visit this website rarely because DB1 posts a lot of weak-ass gaybags and idiots who have no business being here. Plus, the commentary has sunk to a level or severe boredom. Same shit day in and out.

I have to admit, I love my job working in Vegas. I see retards like this on a regular basis, and I find joy in it every time. It always involves helping me get paid, and then them getting lost so I never have to see them ever again. Thus, I have a good laugh every time I see someone as retarded as them. Never a dull moment in Las Vegas.

Here are two samples of my day job.

Version 1: I say "Go here!" they say "Woo, yeah! Let's do it!" I say to myself uder my breath as they walk away "Fuck off, I'll never see you again."

Version 2: I say " Go here" They say "No." I say to myself uder my breath as they walk away "Fuck off, I'll never see you again."

Either way, I say Fuck off I'll never see you again. Thus, I get to laugh at them in any case. Yay America! So many fucking dweebs, so much time to make fun of them.

I love Las Vegas.
 

Fuck you, too Douchetopia.
 

@ 'Bag Hammadi said...

I have the world's last functioning cassette player. What can I say? A true sin to misquote The One. Zappa's music got me through high school.

As punishment, I have to watch that whole video...again.

"Like watching a snail...crawling along the edge...of a straight razor..."


Gee LeDouche
 

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