Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Friday Haiku

Friday, May 29, 2009

Friday Haiku

Grey Goose and Red Bull,
Fuels tiny Chiquita hott,
And Teddy the 'Tard.

If she drinks all that
Her blood alc. will be point-eight.
Kill the pain, wee Bleeth.

-- Mr. White

Red Bull gives you wings
Grey Goose gives you douchitude
Bleeth gives you the clap

-- Father Guido Sardouchey

Please, Jules Winnfield, quote
Ezekiel twenty-five:
seventeen; shoot douche

-- Anonymous

Tiny latin lass
Please beat Matthew Lillard's ass
Bell rings- back to class

-- J-Pompous

I want little Hott
Greg Brady's Tiki Idol
Surfer Douche must find

-- Anonymous

Ezekial 25:
17 Lay down vengeance to
this Douchebag and Bleeth

-- JoMama

# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:03 AM

Comments:

If she drinks all that
Her blood alc. will be point-eight.
Kill the pain, wee Bleeth.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:06 AM

Ezekiel Bag
Doublefisting Coronas
Will go home alone

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:07 AM

Hands full of brewskis
Need help shotgunning red bull
Let the good times roll!

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:10 AM

If Jewish scholars
Saw Ezekiel Bag, they
might rethink their faith.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:11 AM

How'd this bag land the
Pink leopard bikini hott?
Grey goose overdose

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:12 AM

This much alcohol
Means their livers are crossed off
My long donor’s list.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:13 AM

The latest street wear
From Hebraic clothing store:
E-Z-kiel Hardy

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:14 AM

Bag and Hott get Drunk
Both wear women's sunglasses
Surf's up Ben Affleck

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:14 AM

Tiny Chiquita:
Turn bottle over, hit douche
Repeat until dead.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:15 AM

Red Bull gives you wings
Grey Goose gives you douchitude
Bleeth gives you the clap

# posted by

Father Guido Sardouchey : 7:15 AM

another member of the ITC

# posted by

Grey Douche and Cran : 7:16 AM

He makes that face 'cuz
Red Bull, vokda, Corona
Caused a massive stroke

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:16 AM

Red leopard pixie
Hot has almost enough booze
To make Flaming Douche

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 7:16 AM

Please, Jules Winnfield, quote
Ezekiel twenty-five:
seventeen; shoot douche

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:17 AM

Tiny latin lass
Please beat Matthew Lillard's ass
Bell rings- back to class

# posted by

J-Pompous : 7:17 AM

Bleeth prepares the fuel
For huge Molotov cocktail
Burns Havasu down.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:18 AM

Is this a Matthew Lillard Bag???

# posted by

Grey Douche and Cran : 7:18 AM

What? Ezekiel?
Ridiculous shirt confounds.
Needs torching; while on.

Tiny, tough Inez.
Like fire ant, lift thrice your weight.
Want to plow that field.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:19 AM

Kool Mo Dee shades plus
Surfboard as headgear equals
Elusive "Beach Bag"

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:20 AM

Mila Kunis girl
Wants to remind your readers
Goose and bull are rad

# posted by

saulgoode42 : 7:20 AM

Wakeboarding while drunk
Will surely summon the beast:
Man-eating catfish.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:20 AM

She handles bottle
Like she'll handle my man meat:
Roughly, ineptly.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:21 AM

Tiny hott, giant
Bottle. Catfight recipe
or extreme porn shoot?

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 7:23 AM

Free surfboard rental
If you babysit owner's
Drunk niece and nephew

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:23 AM

Grey goose to the north
With Corona down south means
U.S. douche sandwich

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:23 AM

Trucker hat backwards
Will not conceal the shame of
Premature baldness.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:24 AM

Ezekiel douche
Displays size of penis with
Left thumb and finger

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:25 AM

Picture was taken
Minutes before famous clip
Of the catfish birth.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:25 AM

Vodka and Red Bull
Already taking a toll
He wears her glasses

# posted by

Yahoo Scrotius : 7:27 AM

Forty of Grey Goose
Plus red bull tall boy leads to
Exchange of herpes

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:28 AM

I want little Hott
Greg Brady's Tiki Idol
Surfer Douche must find

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:28 AM

They float naively
Up the river we now call
The Heart of Doucheness.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:28 AM

Anon refs awesome
Brady Hawaii epi
Well played, anon friend.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:29 AM

Today they drink up
Tomorrow the river ends
Col. Kurtz awaits.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:31 AM

Forty-something douche
Hangs with young bikini hotts
Who use him for boat

# posted by

Yahoo Scrotius : 7:32 AM

Douchebag "Field of Dreams"
If one fills pool, they will come
And James Earl Jones weeps

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:33 AM

Douche and bleeth prepare
To wakeboard but are thwarted
By waterboarding.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:33 AM

Never get off the
boat, Crucial. Fuckin' tigers,
man, fuckin' tigers.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:33 AM

Douche yells "drink 'till I'm
Cute!" Chica ponders booze stock,
Needs bigger bottle.

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 7:34 AM

Douche has "horror" face
Because he watched Brando fuck
tiny Chiquita.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:34 AM

Ezekiel was
Prophet of Douchepocalypse
Oh, the irony!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:35 AM

The Goose, The Red Bull,
Double-fisting Coronas.
It's a douchebag brunch.

# posted by

Unknown : 7:35 AM

Two fisted hambone
Drinking with his twelve year old
First cousin/fiance

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:35 AM

She forgot his name
But knows the name of his boat
"Lay-dee Killa Yo"

# posted by

Yahoo Scrotius : 7:36 AM

@Mr. White

The smell of napalm
In the morning makes me smile
When it burns douchebags.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:36 AM

Not even gallons
of vodka can disinfect
this pair; run away.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:37 AM

douche wants lick her
hott brought it
not to bright

# posted by

Turdacious : 7:37 AM

@crucial

Charlie don't surf 'cause
He saw these dirtbags down there
Fled deep into Laos

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:38 AM

'Bag nabs Viet-Cong
Prostitute for fun and games
But Charlie don't surf!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:39 AM

Ezekial cries,
"The 'Bagpocalypse is nigh!
Repent ye scrotewanks!"

# posted by

Unknown : 7:40 AM

Okay Mr. White
That was just weird and awesome
Charlie would be proud.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:41 AM

@crucial

He would paint his face
Slowly emerge from river
Machete some douche.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:43 AM

To stifle remorse
Of chopping the bulls head off
They drink guilt away.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:43 AM

That bottle up my
Ass for that navel ring in
My chest hair; Fair trade.

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 7:44 AM

Sing: "This is the end"
While watching napalm explode
Burning down their boat.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:45 AM

Why no officer,
Wasn't aware she's 14.
Or she's your daughter.

# posted by

Unknown : 7:45 AM

Ezekial 25:
17 Lay down vengeance to
this Douchebag and Bleeth

# posted by

Suzy : 7:47 AM

I would shoot at them
Even if they were only
Running puppies, man.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:48 AM

We must kill them all
Pigs, cows, and douche after douche
Every damn village.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:49 AM

We train Douchebags to
Drop Goose on people - But they
Can't write 'fuck' on planes.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:51 AM

if the moon were made
of spare ribs, would ya eat it?
harry carey face?

# posted by

the douche is alright : 7:51 AM

I crouch in the trench
Listen for "Woos!"--I don't need
no flare to hit douche.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:53 AM

Charlie don't surf now
'Cause he's too drunk & stupid
America weeps

# posted by

Suzy : 7:54 AM

I saw a snail crawl
On the edge of a knife blade
To escape these two.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:55 AM

This pic represents
The asshole of the world
The horror, I say!

# posted by

Crucial Head : 7:55 AM

Can't stop the 'Pocalypse
Tribute haiku; don't want to
do my job today.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:55 AM

Rehab--shit, I'm still
Only in Rehab; wake up
back in the jungle.

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:57 AM

What are they gonna
say? That he was a kind 'bag?
He was a wise 'bag?

# posted by

Justin C. : 7:59 AM

Darnit! I thought our
Coppola theme would earn me
Front page - I was wrong.

(Walks past stunned village
Covered in blood with head down
In shame, but still proud.)

End scene.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:01 AM

Crucial, no front page
But I'd still select you for
the mission, buddy.

# posted by

Justin C. : 8:03 AM

Napalm in the morning
douche run
not fast enough
cool

# posted by

Turdacious : 8:04 AM

Screams for a rhyming Haiku.

Hott been in her drank
The pink cat print needs a spank
Open your beer, wank

# posted by

Scrotie and the Bandit : 8:17 AM

Props from Mr. White
70's Pop Culture Ref
Front page for Anon!

My mission here is complete!

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:26 AM

yes pat yourself on the back since you needed to point that all out

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:30 AM

Calling him a douche
Like writing speeding tickets
At Indy Five-hun

# posted by

saulgoode42 : 8:53 AM

Little brown package
Looser than one would expect
No thanks to Zeke-tard.

# posted by

Douche Mengia : 8:59 AM

infection creeps north
overflowing bikini
ink stains her belly

# posted by

creature : 9:40 AM

her titties are small
hips appear to be growing
lard ass is coming

# posted by

creature : 9:44 AM

jerking corona
cleaner than flying with goose girl
but not as much fun

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:23 AM

She tells him to sniff
the Red Bull can just after
it's pulled from his ass

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 10:24 AM

He's moping because
his new Ezekiel shirt
has no God-power

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 10:25 AM

I can't help but ask
would she still look so cocky
with my fist in her?

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 10:26 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 10:27 AM

Find her in ten years
alcohol bloat, leather skin
enjoy it now, Bleeth

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 10:28 AM

Douche reeks of fish sticks
Bleeth believes in goose and wings
Give Kayne's shades back

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:39 AM

i kinda like her
if i say she's got spunk, would you
take it the wrong way

# posted by

M_Shale : 11:12 AM

Clueless couple makes
Me ask North Korea to
Please nuke us all now

# posted by

Jean Claude Van Douche : 11:48 AM

Dear DB1 please
make an afternoon haiku
i'm still hungover....

# posted by

Jean Claude Van Douche : 11:49 AM

trying to hide small
boobs with Grey Goose? i think not.
major scrote alert.

# posted by

Steve L. : 8:05 PM

Epic douche couple
touch each with their naughty bits
make new herpes strain.

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:12 PM

My heart is broken
Can't find correct caliber
of bullets for both tards

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 6:36 AM

Friday, May 29, 2009

Friday Haiku

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