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Dane Cook is not funny.









At all.
 

@ Shamespear

Why did you even watch it, nonetheless?
 

Here's why I hate Dane Cook: When he says "room", he pronounces it "ruhmm", not "rume".



Fucker.
 

I've never been a fan of Dane Cook, un(fortunately). The only thing he's ever been funny in is the movie "Waiting", and even in that movie I imagine he was told every word he was supposed to say.

I almost feel bad for him because of how unfunny he is. Anyone who has seen "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" knows what I'm talking about. But then I remember he's a douchebag and I don't feel so bad anymore.
 

People need to lighten up about this guy. Everybody can't be Bill Hicks. Dane Cook is obviously enjoying a life that includes working a job he loves. You people are haters.
 

Jaws of Josh:

Please shut.

Thank you.
 

Yanno, I never really hated Dane Cook all that vehemently. Some of his jokes were almost mildly amusing, he appeals to a certain crowd that I'm not part of and that's fine. I don't go where they go, and they don't go where I go, so it works out. However my friend and I watched a good 15-20 minutes of his show and neither one of us laughed. Not even once. I don't know why we watched, but we did. Most likely because it was Saturday, we had nothing to do, and it was on. Both hoping at some point it would be funny. After a while it just got sad.
 

Dane Cook does comedy by consensus; edgy but not TOO edgy, designed so that the most people will laugh a little versus a few people busting a gut, hence signalling that it's okay to chortle at his observations.

Comedy by consensus.

yeah.



I'd rather see Carrot Top pull a bottle of Aunt Jamima out of his pee hole.
 

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This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Dane Cook blows. How he sells out any audiences is beyond me, but then again there's enough people with a shit eating fetish to necessitate porn sites dedicated to it.

I never liked him, but there's other comedians I don't like as well so I never really go out of my way to express my disdain for his antics. I just can't stand how he has his own hand gesture. Clearly it was just a PR move so that all the frat boys who are so eager to fit in can all throw up the sign and laugh about how drunk they're gonna get that night whilst they "jam" to Asher Roth. Sometimes I can't stand my peers.
 

Last week, I watched Dan in Real Life all the way until pinch point #2, when Dane Cook's character punches Steve Carell's character at the bowling alley. My girlfriend wanted to watch it, and I acquiesced. It was funny, the disappointment in her voice during Dane Cook's first scene. She was like "Awww, Dane Cook's in this?"
 

Dane Cook can be mildly amussing at times but, his celebrity status is so overvalued it makes me want to throw feces at him. If he were just another kind of funny comedian nobodys heard of, I wouldnt care. He's kind of like the Paris Hilton of comedy.
 

Ya ever notice how the comedian Daniel Tosh looks a lot like Dane Cook, even younger and handsomer, my peehole might say, but is largely unknown compared to the douche because he is irreverent and actually is sharply funny, in other words, way too edgy for the bleating bleeths and douchebags.
 

Who is Dane Cook?
 

Haters. HA!

Can you imagine Adolf Hitler doing a rant on people that "hate" him? "Just because YOU can't run thru France in a week with a few tanks and 8 guys with Lugers, you gotta HATE. So I killed a few million Jews? When you have a mustache THIS sexy - you can do what you want!"

Not that I'm comparing Dane Cook to Hitler. That would be more for Arthur Kade...
 

Why oh why must Dane steal from Brian Regan?
 

Foxworthy? Nottadouche.

Dane Cook? Megadouche. He looks like a crap I took yesterday, and y'know, the crap told a better joke.
 

JawofJosh: in case you didnt know, Dane Cook steals his jokes from Louis C.K., who is a master comedian. It takes alot to make me laugh and this guy had me in tears. Not many people have caught on because Cook caters to a different, "cleaner" crowd. In other words, a boring fucking crowd with a high alpaca ball-sucking factor.

Don't believe me, watch this. If this doesn't have you in stitches you're an asshole.
 

Don't be made at Dane; be made at his joke writers, which would be the numerous other comedians he steals bits from.
 

@massengill
I watched it for research?

No. I watched it because it makes me laugh.

Not to say I don't want to punch him. He mentioned his "big fat cock" about thirteen times in the damned show. It was embarrassing.
 

The aforementioned Brian Regan, Louis CK and Jeff Foxworthy are truly funny people.

Cook has his moments but his biggest achievment is getting women to like his comedy. Through physical humor and a goofy delivery reminiscent of a four year old discovering something for the first time, the ladies love him.


He's the comedy equivalent of Kenny Chesney, a writer of styrofoam lyrics and empty memories of youthful transgressions that ring a bell with college women at southern universities as they are living out his mundane , obtuse lyrics that are as interesting as a rockpile.
 

I can't believe Vin Douchal would insult Kenny Chesney by comparing him to Douche Cook.

I can't believe Anonymous would insult Hitler by comparing him to either Arthur Kade or Douche Cook.

Heck, I can't believe BillDouchiest the Wild Swine would insult crap by comparing it to Douche Cook...
 

I can't believe it's not butter
 

I never heard this guy cause I hate comedy, with the exception of Stanhope. But he just made my list of people to kill when I finally lose it, based solely on the fact that his crater face has no business entering the pearly gates to the right of him.
 

I don't give a shit about dane cook and have no comment on him other then wish i could make a shitload of money off my nothing talent
 

For a true master of comedy look no further than Louis CK. Dane Cook is a pile of shit.
 

Jeff Francoeur: Talented MLB Player :: Dane Cook: Talented Comedian





'Nuff said.
 

I just watched an Arthur Kade Delusional Video and now I gotta look at Dane Cook's stupid face? Fuck, what's next? My mother hits me in the cock with a ball-peen hammer? Yeah, that's it.









But, unlike Dane Cook and Arthur Kade, I like that.
 

as big a douche as Gator... but better sense of humor... wish I was his half brother, just to go to the bank for him
 

there was a time when i thought that DB1's show may have gotten less bad rap if he made a deal with Comedy Central instead of MTV, but then i was reminded of Dane Cook.

well, um, i still watch South Park.
 

this guy sux........bout as funny as a one legged man at an ass kickin contest.
 

@Fecus McDoo

If you pay attention you'll be sure to see DarkSock pull Creature from his taint at least three times this evening, or is it five? I lost count on account that I can't count at all.
 

@JCVD

if you've ever been attached to Biloxi taint, you'd know there's no pullin' off... I'm on the patch like stank to shit!
 

mmm.... taste like okra!
 

First of all, I have no idea who Dane Cook is other than hearing people dog him all the time.

But I do dislike the work "hater," which was coined by Nixon, not rappers. His point was that there are people, no matter what you do, who will disparage you, even if it's something they would want if someone else did it. Like if Bush saved some kittens from drowning, people would still hate on him and have something bad to say about it. This is the proper use of the term.

However, it has become a crutch by these dumb urban music types (and lame comedians, apparently) to deflect *legitimate criticism* as illegitimate ad hominem attack. Rapper arrested and gets criticized? Hatin'. No, it is not hatin', it is legitimate criticism of something dumb you did.

This is the difference. A useful term co-opted by idiots into a douchey term.
 

Look, he's funny to me, but if you actually read what the posting of him was, it's true, he's totally a douchebag. He's a perfect example and here's a perfect example why. One of his comedy routines is about picking up chicks at a bar with a motercycle n how the want bad boys n stuff. Well he precedes to state that he doesn't even have to buy the motorcycle, he just buys the helmet and tricks them. The he leads em out town empty parking spot n acts like his bike got stolen. Then he says that he should look up local buildings that had gotten burned down n their addresses so he can tell them to drop him off at his "place". And when it's burnt down, he says "ing this is the worst day of my life make love to me because it's the only thing I have left". Granted I thought the bit was hilarious, he still fits the description of an uber douchebag squared and a half so yea. I don't see what the controversy is. You can think he's a douche and still think that he's funny jeez. Ps creator of the website, props. That was ballsy nice. Pss. I have not seen his new comedy routine so idk if it's funny yet..psss. I thought he was a douche the first time I saw him LOL. Good to know someone agrees with me. Still wild like to meet him tho.
 

And yes I know it's passe to hate Dane Cook at this point.You mean it's in to like him? Fuck no.

I tried to be a good sport, I watched and listened to his stuff, he just doesn't cut it for me. From a more critical standpoint the physical assclownery is too much and there's a lack of polish in his jokes.

Not to mention he's a thief.
 

Didn't watch it. Won't watch it. Haven't watched it since he had a set with Dave Attell. Laughed at Attell. Didn't laugh at Cook.

Call me a hater. It's a badge I'll wear with pride.
 

jeez dane cook must employ more people to defend him from public criticism than the scientologists...i have never, ever heard anyone say, hey dane cook! his stuff is hilarious. but if you criticize him anywhere, there will be a defender cell activated in minutes"

if george bush saved kittens from drowning, 1) he was the one who ordered them waterboarded in the first place 2) waterboarding, when done right only makes you feel like you are drowning...

those kittens are left-wing pussies!
 

Hey euripedouche, at least Dane Cook doesn't sue folks. Im just sayin'.

Yes, those kittens are left-wing pussies. They need a job, too!! :)
 

I listened to this 'comedian' on XM radio the other day. And I can say w/o question that this guy is a douchebag masquerading as a comedian. Man, that was painful to listen. He has a nice voice for radio but that's about it.
A douchebag shall you always be DC!
 

'sigh' theres always a critic. (talking about my comment)
 

@ Jean Claude Van Douche:

DarkSock is a fucking Genious, man.
 

Why, thank you, Fecus.
 

You're so very welcome, Mr. Sock.
 

since when did dane cook become a douchebag? lol.. i don't really care, the dude is funny as shit.
 

Because we all know shit is hysterical. And shit is what he is
 

I'm convinced if Dane Cook walked onto a stage and farted, half of the population of the western hemisphere would proclaim him the second coming. Its amazing at how media can hype up a turd so much, and how the sheep just eat it up.

Popularity doesn't always equal talent or quality, but its usually the opposite. I've honestly given him a second and third try to watch his material, and even when I was intoxicated, I still didn't find him that funny. A few chuckles, but that was it.

He'll be opening for Carrot Top at some casino / holiday inn lounge tour 5 years from now. :)
 

Wisdom is spoken.....
Whether truly heard is left unto the ears upon the listen
 

Yea. He appeals to the stupid crowd but if ud get off ur high horse and enjoy life maybe Ud enjoy Dane cook granted he's stills douche by definition. I just think everyone needs to stop being so elitist. It's like the smart ones are elitist turd muffins and the ignant are just plain stupid.. God help our society.
 

Did Dane talk about "hatorade" in that section? Because that's what haters drink. And only douches would use the word hatorade and think it was funny. I hate myself for even typing it three times in this comment.
 

People who complain about "haters" have no legitimate defense to their actions and rely on blind name calling to get them out of trouble.

Dane Cook: unfunny douchebag. 'Nuff said.
 

seriously, all hating aside. dane cook is just one of things wrong with america, right up there with nascar and george bush. anyone who defends him and even enjoys him is spineless and is part of the ever-growing flock of 'sheeple' in our country. if it has not already been said, anyone who does not dislike dane cook is a serious douchebag whether they show it on the outside or not!