If only property tax were collected for such a noble purpose. We need more Ed Hardy after-school specials.
 

look the battle against douche is a ling tiring one, and as such, i think we need some scapegoats...those who made the world a better place to douche...

appropos of this picture the one that comes to mind...

gottdamn the beastie boys...

sure sure people will say they were funny, they were themselves mocking in a way, paul's botique is a classic, i have heard all that...

it doesn't change the fact, that when they got ass, and the bleeths started lipsyncing the words, that a whole subculture followed to fill that void. or 100,000s if not millions of voids...

i recall the beasties playing the dollop of losers festivals. i had planned a trip to the second stage, what with having the sought after paviillion seats in the worst concert set up ever, the big shed in the sticks...

but to my shock and horror, protobleeths came flooding in as someone i think nick cave labored through the last part of his set...they were there for the beastie boys...now they were all teenybopping teenage goodness, and clearly no threat to anything but the counterculture the dollop of losers tried to foster and ultimately trashed by making it cool to the exact chicks it was alledgedly rebelling against.

even my lizard brain telling me i could bang a couple of these no problem, wasn't enough to ameliorate my disgust that they knew the words and apparently the hand gestures, as inauthentic as they seemed.

this scrote is a perfect example of why that was a seminal moment...these chicks don't realize it, but were it not for the beastie boys they would be repulsed by this choad...



wubba wubba wubba good bye god bless
 

those are the worst Jessica and Ashley Simpson costumes i hae ever seen.....
 

In the early 1990's at a conference in Chicago of leading Darwinists, the panel was asked to name five facts of evolution. Unable to come up with a one fact, a panel member quipped "I know one thing, it should not be taught in school".

What do we really know about the HCwDB quandary? Maybe we are the ones to be mocked and the DB has found the answers to lifes questions?
Maybe kissy lips is the intended human smile, and the smile we use is an unfortunate lie?
We cannot though overlook the hand gestures.

Dr. DB
 

(On a side note, thanks to all of you who congratulated my wife and me expecting our first child.)


To answer this question, I would argue that perhaps HCwDB should be taught earlier - case in point, I showed a picture of Xenu to my 2 1/2 year old nephew, stating to him solemnly, "This is what happens when you don't eat your vegetables."

Although incapable of fully articulating his thoughts at his age, the look of horror on his young face coupled with the fact he happily gnawed on some green beans later illustrates the fact that it is never too young to educate the youth on the horrors of Ed Hardy, Axe, and odd lip contortions.
 

and i'm back to thinking Db1 is Alphonso Lingis...

"brilliantly fucking illustrated" Db1.


Army of DOuche-ness.
 

Mutant Ninja Douche
 

I know that the pic isn't connected to the letter, but nonetheless I find myself fantasizing that pink top brunette is a fresh-out-of-school kindergarten teacher, and I am a naughty 5-year-old in need of a spanking.

Afterward, I will feign teary regret over my act so that she will give me a hug, giving me the opportunity to rub my boner against her young, still-firm tummy.

Then I will play with Tonka trucks. Because they're awesome.
 

Damn, all this deep thought going on up there ^ and I was gonna talk about all the skeevie things I'd like to do to Pink Tank Hott ...



NVM then
 

(salty fuccen tears of regret)...
 

^^ That's all I can add to Mr. White's eloquent dissertation.
 

YOU FUCEN KNOW IT, CRUCIOAL! I WULD DOUBLE BANG PINKSHIRRT WIHT MY GIANJT TARMAL AND A DILSDO MADE OUT OF PALYDOUGH!
 

And Marc Du Choad,

It always helps to send your kids to FLYTEETH'S TARMAL DAYCARE before they take that plunge into kindergarten.
 

AND ID" PUSHT TAHT PLAYDOUGH THORUGH THE STAR_SHAPED FUCEN MODL SO IT WOUDL BE RIBBED FOR HER FUCEN TAMRAL!
 

This is getting FUCCEN scary Mr. White...
 

MY DAYCARES MOTTI S "ALL TARMAL, NO SLAPWHOARS!"
 

@crucial

Yeah, that Flyteeth is one sick fuck.
 

It's almost like he knows what we're thinking...
 

I CAN FUCEN HEAR YOUR THOGUHTS FAGAOTHS! ALL ARE CONNEDTED THROUGH TARMAL!
 

Upon further review, this douchebag looks like he was inspired by one Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones.

This affliction goes back to 1946. At least.
 

Nothing makes my labia swell quite like a look of dazed idiocy accentuated with a drunken sneer and accessorized with a meaningless splayed-fingered gesture, a hat tilted to protect one ear from sunburn and leaving the other ear neglected and facing the sun's cruel rays alone, a dollar-sign pendant you can see from the space-station, and a faux-air-brushed TMNT shirt.
 

I knew it...Obama is a douche...see!
 

I'm a believer in Natural Selection.... let 'em figure it out for themselves, or be damned for eternal douche mockery

btw, do girls truly find tools garbed like the one pictured attractive?

if so I weep for our future

drop the bomb now!
 

That's it I'm making some t-shirts to wear:

"I gave FLYTEETH my TARMAL and all I got was a ShamWow tampon (a ShamPon if you will) to plug my anal leakage"

"The TARMAL is strong with this one (with picture of FLYTEETH)"

"(front)Just say NO to Douchebags, (back)...and YES to TARMAL!"
 

@creature

No. Not the sane ones at any rate. What happens with the douche/boobiesucklethigh combo is a sort of Stockholm effect. You see after being accosted so often by the douche, the hot starts to become sympathetic, and thinks that's what she's supposed to find attractive. I've watched many a friend go down this path, I'm not quite sure how to reverse the effect. I've tried shock treatments, swatting their noses with newspapers, and spray bottles. I will post any headway I make on the subject.

Please god, tell me he isn't wearing a blinged out Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt. I have no soul left to die.
 

Cute photo, esse, now go finish making my burrito...
 

jean claude...

how about one with a faux starbucks logo
above it

tarmal macchiado!

logo


slappwhoar!
 

@euripidouche

!YES, SLAPPWHAOR ftw...
 

@JCVD, 12:01 p.m. -

"ShamPon" - it figures that someone else has already used that term.....

I really wanted a fellow baghunter to get that copyright.
 

Crap:

http://www.mum.org/ortex.htmWell, it isn't yet defined on Urban Dictionary.
 

@Wheezer

heh...yea it reminded me of a bloody tampon tattoo that I did once that had a banner reading "bite, pull, and fling"....classy...

...as to the unfolding of the Ortex Gold Origami tampon with your teeth while simultaneously taking a shot of Jameson and performing the rusty trombone on your best friend....hey I was drunk and we won't speak of such things ever again ...
 

Habermas is still alive!
And douche-mocking with the best of them.
 

@ creature

I will confess to having been attracted to a few douches (more of the band or hipster douche then the typical Jerz douche), but this guy pictured is just a tool. He's wearing a bedazzled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt and anyone who gets down with that deserves whatever STD or identity theft they get.
 

if FLYTEETH got an account, we could all get t-shirts with the gospel of his tarlma on them and spread the good word out to the rest of the world.

Twitter Quotes on T-Shirts from TwitShirtI'd also pay for some of Cruicial Head's truisms on tshirts, too.
 

poor guy; macking on his sister and step sister, but hey he loves his family.
 

I would eat my own three nipples for the privilege to shit in Pink Hott's tomato garden.
 

Yeah, Jurgen knew exactly what was up with the jungfrau: chug, then purge, at the Biergarten, then off come the Liederhosen.
 

The poster from the After School Special "Anal Warts is Whack!" Sorry, German philosophy always makes me think of anal warts.
 

is that douchey Nick Cannon
 

I must admit I have neglected my reading of Habermas in the original German of late.

Now all I have to do is visit HCwDB often, possibly several times a day, to remedy this deficiency.

A thousand thankyous, db1

- Jacques Douchida
 

what a bunch of retards
 

i know this guy who ran into his parents watching porn when he was ~3 years old, and he asked "mom, why are the people on the TV all naked and stuff?"

believe me, his parents were shittified. and they very clumsily removed him from the scene.

fast forward 20 years. and he FINALLY got what was going on!

so if you ask me, should we be teaching kindergarten kids about the moral imperative of identifying right from wrong, and douche from bleeth?

fuck yeah we should. they might not get it now, but fast forward 20 years, they'll thank us for it.
 

Isn't this the guy who does the voice of the duck on the AFLAC commercial?

Arrrrgh, WTF is his name? He pops up on comedy roasts, squints like he's about the cum in someone's coffee cup, and that voice... AFFFLAAAAAACK.
 

GILBERT GOTTFRIED!