Interesting cup color. It must be made from dyes found in the Douchey Provinces.

I'd also like to pass my pork sword right through her sieve-like chainmail.
 

Is that a wig? And that shirt must be a FDBD (for douches by douches).
 

Baby blue cup huh... wow. But hey... matches the pink half shirt I guess.

You see that slide in the background? Would be cool to stud it with straight razors, place a pool of rubbing alcohol at the foot of it and toss Half Shirt down it face first.

- Douchey Smurf
 

ubiquitous tar heel blue cup.

I've got nothing else.
 

MacGyver, no!


And since DB1 opened the door for this: Garrison Keillor is not funny. He's not even "NPR funny."

There. I said it.
 

As a child, he was definately NOT above average.

I'd Garrion her Keillor!
 

@Mr. White... But if you were 85 years old you would be rolling around the floor in tears at that crazy Keillor and his tales of Lake whateverthefuck they call it.

- Douchey Smurf
 

uhm.....boobies?
 

Keep Doucheing

This is your only moment of fame.
 

This is hilarious. The attempted ironic humor of the "Keep laughing" pink shirt, the 1980's Chicago Bears headband, the ubiquitous baby blue cup and the Douche hair-do all come together to from poo.

The hott has no boobies, but I'd still swim across a lake for the chance to make her chainmail.

@ Mr. White - you are right. garrison Keillor is SO not funny. I can't even attempt to listen to his boring ass stories that make no sense and don't even have a shred of humor.
 

The endangered pastel-blue cup. Whatever that thing that bad guy in No Country for Old Men uses, that thing used to slaughter cows, that's what this guy needs. But just one of his kneecaps.
 

Last weekend I was at the park and saw this guy wearing a shir that said "Most Likely to Wear Stupid T-Shirts." It was pretty ironic, that a shirt designed for laughs is totally not funny at all.
 

"keep laughing your wearing a fucking girls shirt you flaming sack of shit"

this really makes me want to buy an ed hardy shirt...against my better judgement...perhaps the steroids are taking to me again

Douche of the Week for Spring Break!
 

isn't...that....the purple pointing dude?! anyone else recognize who I'm talking about? I swear it's him.
 

Stupid headband, ridiculous sunglasses, gay pink half shirt with stupid phrase on it and Oddly Colored Blue Cup? DOUCHE.

Her I'd bang till she started speaking in tongues.
 

Is he wearing that shirt because:

a) he posesses a keen wit;

b) he craves any attention, even negative;

c) the brothers of the frat he is pledging made him;

d) he's a f*cking douchebag;

e) answers (b) (c) and (d).
 

Steve Perry's really let himself go

Mr. White, I hate Garrison Keiller's stupid stories, too & it drives me insane when my husband listens to him. So. Not. Funny.

Was this picture taken in the late '80s?
 

"where, all the women are bleeths,
all the men are scrotes,
and all the douches are drug-addled."

hmm, maybe Garrison Keillor isn't funny.
 

Well, that's certainly no Minnesota lake, what with beach sand and mountains in the background.

Garrison Keillor is not for the ordinary listener. However, he is hilarious and brings cowboy versus city humor to the crossroads. His musical tastes are decidedly old-fashioned western, folksy jazzy, not anything like the current popular scene.

So stuff it up your wazoo if you don't like him. And turn the dial.
He sells out audiences everywhere.
And yes, he's as corny as Lawrence Welk, in his own half-cynical way.

PINKO Half-Shirt here probably got this shirt as a joke gift. And SHEhe may be flat, but she's clean and she's cute, even modest. Notta skank.
 

Garrison Keeler is to funny what the hott is to D cups.
 

I think the douche is attempting to be funny and failing, much like the aforementioned Garrison Keeler.

And Bill Maher
and Jay Leno
and Jimmie Falan
 

What's the criminal charge for stomping a choad's nuts with a ball pean hammer?

Just thought I should know what I'm getting into.
 

So what he's saying is, he'll have sex with your girlfriend....and then wear her shirt later on? Huh?!
 

Poor dear got her neck caught in a 24-pack carrier as a young pup. There's probably a PETArd just off camera with safety shears willing to risk getting it's ears bit off to cut that thing off of her.

I think he's probably wearing my girlfriend's panties as well.

And I happen to think that Garrison Keillor is fucking hilarious. But that may be because I imagine him writing his stories while drunk, blubbering like a jilted schoolgirl, and pressing a loaded Glock painfully into the wattles under his chin. "Pull the trigger you useless pussy!" He screams inside. But instead he writes another joke about culturally stilted gossips as gelatinous streams of snot hover over his keyboard. "Do it! Do it now you broken failure!" screams the voice in his head. But instead out pops another whimsical anecdote about small town politics that somehow doesn't involve dragging people behind trucks or burning books.

So I'm pretty much laughing my ass off whenever I listen to him.
 

And I have nothing useful to say after Cap'n Bringdown.
 

Anonymous said...

So what he's saying is, he'll have sex with your girlfriend....and then wear her shirt later on?

and her thong & panties.

joking aside, that is some jeffrey dahmer shit.
 

And just where does that pool slide go? Into the 1 inch of water?

Let's hope he goes headfirst with a drunken Ricky Henderson-type slide down that thing and cracks a few bones in his neck.

Let's see the paramedics try not to smile as they strap his pasty ass to the stretcher
 

Nice to see that someone is getting ready for the Loverboy concert in Baraboo.
 

Jeffrey Dahmer shit?

I wouldn't be caught dead wearing anyone's girlfriend's shirt.

As for the bag. Now that I'd wear...





out.
 

He looks like Richard Simmon's former lover.
 

@captain bringdown

O.K., with that imagery, I'll be giggling like an idiot every time I hear Keillor's voice from now on.
 

@Mr. White

My work here is done.
 

It's Mr. Peter Ostrushko!
 

anyone else thinking the is pre-Crimson Ted?!
 

Florian and Myrtle Krebsbach would take one look at the young man and she would exclaim, "Oh my!" He would say, "That's what happens when parents stop bringing up their children as Lutherans. If he were Lutheran he'd be so afraid of girls he'd hide from them instead of dressing up like one." That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are hot, all the men are douchey, and all the douchelings are below average.
 

Where do bad folks go when they die
They don't go to heaven where the angels fly
Go to a lake of fire and fry
Don't see them again 'till the Fourth of July

don't look at me. the above 34 words forced its way into this thread like an M-1 Abrams tank gun shell.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Its really sad to see Val Kilmer's career wind up on the rocks. Here he is on the set of his new indy movie project "Bagman"...
 

this appears to be one of those lake who'd i screw? type parties where people who would drown in a decent undertow bring their douchey best to the relative safety of semifresh water. guys like this bug me...they make will farrell seem like less of an over the top hack method-comedian, by stealing his imprimateurs and playing them straight.

mini-bud blonde is making actual use of the 80's harley windscreen shades as it nips the last half inch of forehead and makes her seem somehow cuter....lets be honest, i've seen acromion processes make bigger bumps under a t-shirt than her rack.
 

most people don't realize, or never heard the story, but gore vidal loved to snort chopped up cialis and ritalin off garrison keillor's ass
 

Five bucks says he's wearing chartreuse biking shorts.

Who wants odds on black socks?
 

Cock Ring apparel is all the rage these days in Lake Woe Begone, where discretion is regarded with impunity among the young people.
 

@Baron Von Goolo

I'll see your bet and raise you one fuchsia thong, and an argyle atrocity.
 

Love the reference DB1. verry clever.

and btw Woe Begone, I would never let you borrow my shirt.
 

I say he's wearing no pants at all, just a thong.
 

@ Mr. White 7:11

I love you.

@ Capt. Bringdown 9:12
I too suddenly find the thought of another one of Garrison Keilor's anecdotes about pie hysterical.

@ Steve L. 11:21
WIN. For so many reasons. I just hope you meant Meat Puppets and not Nirvana.
 

Lake Poo Begone
 

Yeah, what Cap'n Bringdown said

And while he bears a striking resemblance to Crimson Ted, this guy is too goofy to be CT, who is angry and pissed at whatever (or whomever) is off camera, so much so that he ignores the hotts in the picture.

Douchie Woe is ALL over the hotts, hence, not Crimson Tedd, imho.
 

YO DB1!

You write that you want more goofiness and laughter in our mating rituals.

Here ya go then, DB1 perfection.

Where's your culturally obsessed grimness here?

Have you lost focus? Don't blame ya, all that boobie suckle thigh, and red cups.
 

Garrison Keillor is straddled between two worlds: his aw-shucks old-timey music schtick and his recounting of the good ole days back in a place that doesn't exist. Forty-six year-old Lakebag straddles, too, but mostly just public toilets. He really wants to take the PWCs out on the lake but doesn't actually own any PWCs. So, he'll hang with hellcat-Holly and hope wig doesn't fly away and expose his MPB. It's held firmly in place and strapped down with tight blue band. Please don't be windy, he prays. Lakebag told her he's 31 and in real estate. Lakebag collects disability for MPB. Bad Lakebag! You give honest DBs a bad name! Tie rocks to his blue band and let him choose: expose his MPB or die drowning. Either way, no Hellcat for Lakebag. Next?
 

this guy is too goofy to be CT
CT before he worked out that mean, brooding and orange were a hott-dazzling combination? Or more frighteningly given the recent look of the photo and CT's age - son of the Crimson Ted. He may have spawned! (Runs screaming for the ammo cabinet)
 

I think I saw this guy at Space Center Houston yesterday. He was really enjoying the security search before the tram ride.
 

This guy is for sure just a fake.

Obv wearing a wig, gay shirt and pose for kicks.
 

Either this is a joke or I'm just not drinking heavily enough.