Saturday, March 28, 2009
Breaking: Shamwow! Guy Allegedly Slap Chops Hooker
Courtesy of The Smoking Gun, Vince, the Shamwow and Chop Guy, was busted for allegedly Slap Chopping up a sexy alleged prostitute, pictured here.
Yowza.
I guess she didn't love his nuts.
Comments:
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For all those who bought a Shamwow or Slap Chop - look at what he's wearing. Look at what your money bought.
LOOK AT IT.
Go now and sin no more.
LOOK AT IT.
Go now and sin no more.
This is what you look like when the meth wears off ( although most of the regs in here know this).
Reminds me of the time in college when Sully and Cully came up with the "Speedwich ™". This was a handful of greenies ingested with a couple racks of beer, then when flying out of your mind, a snort of cocaine.
The popularity of this ended after just one night as we all passed out on a Cape Cod beach awakening a couple days later covered in seagull droppings, catsup from a food fight, ants, sand and seaweed.
I still clench my jaw just thinking about it. That was my last foray into anything harder than Crown Royal.
Reminds me of the time in college when Sully and Cully came up with the "Speedwich ™". This was a handful of greenies ingested with a couple racks of beer, then when flying out of your mind, a snort of cocaine.
The popularity of this ended after just one night as we all passed out on a Cape Cod beach awakening a couple days later covered in seagull droppings, catsup from a food fight, ants, sand and seaweed.
I still clench my jaw just thinking about it. That was my last foray into anything harder than Crown Royal.
yeah heard about this last night. i kinda feel for the guy. hooker bites my tongue and don't let go, you best believe she is getting some punches.
and by punches, i mean me crying and begging for her to let go.
and by hooker, i mean my wife.
and by punches, i mean me crying and begging for her to let go.
and by hooker, i mean my wife.
you realize of course that Vince got his ass kicked by the hooker immediately after you posted the cock shots link. I'm thinking butterfly effect, and I'm not talking about the douchetastic movie, nor do I refer to the penis butterfly tramp stamp.
and i don't know that you have to say alledged prostitute, i mean i can't imagine her denying it, wouldn't it be less embarassing than saying you chose to bang slappy chopnuts
# posted by 
: 11:17 AM
: 11:17 AM
@ darksock
lol tom waits. perfect.step right up shamwow guy.
as for this guy, i agree with bcs. whore bites my tongue with her infected mouth she prob would get 5 across the eyes, although just to buy me enough time to get her off of me. and then i would've gotten the fuck out of there long before the cops showed up. not advocating beating women, but slappin a ho for drawing blood on you when you didn't pay for the rough stuff? could happen to any of us.
lol tom waits. perfect.step right up shamwow guy.
as for this guy, i agree with bcs. whore bites my tongue with her infected mouth she prob would get 5 across the eyes, although just to buy me enough time to get her off of me. and then i would've gotten the fuck out of there long before the cops showed up. not advocating beating women, but slappin a ho for drawing blood on you when you didn't pay for the rough stuff? could happen to any of us.
# posted by : 11:25 AM
: 11:25 AM
I dunno, is her biting his tongue poetic justice at us having to listen to his spiel every time a SHAMWOW or CHOPNUTZ ad comes on?
Maybe she was trying to tell him to just shut up and fuck.
Just speculatin'
Maybe she was trying to tell him to just shut up and fuck.
Just speculatin'
# posted by : 11:29 AM
: 11:29 AM
I didn't know the Shamwow guy was a genetic mutant chimera taken from the genes of Dominic West and Benicio Del Toro!
Having been stung by bees!
And strung out on meth for a week!
Having been stung by bees!
And strung out on meth for a week!
Lookin' at Vince's mugshots, it appears he is wearing one of those hospital gowns that ties in the back, just lookin' at the print and how it goes up to the neck.
With his jacket on over it.
I'm just guessin' he's not in quite the same league as "Billy Mays, here."
Maybe he'll send Vince some OxyClean to get rid of those bloodstains.
With his jacket on over it.
I'm just guessin' he's not in quite the same league as "Billy Mays, here."
Maybe he'll send Vince some OxyClean to get rid of those bloodstains.
# posted by : 11:35 AM
: 11:35 AM
Notice the "alleged" hooker's shirt is on inside-out and backwards.
You pay extra for that in Montana.
You pay extra for that in Montana.
I can't wait to see his next infomercial:
"Truhth me, you thould really thry thith thoungue prothector, now only 19 dollarth pluth thipping and handling"
"Truhth me, you thould really thry thith thoungue prothector, now only 19 dollarth pluth thipping and handling"
Wow he looked a lot younger in those Shamwow ads..
what's with his shirt? Did he come from a nursing home?
what's with his shirt? Did he come from a nursing home?
wait!! ... all the prostitutes I've been with ...ummm ... I mean heard about don't allow any kind of kissing ... I guess that tongue biting comes with the high priced option 'cause she's certainly not a high end hooker!
# posted by : 2:07 PM
: 2:07 PM
@Skyler...how old are you then? 24? 44 isn't that old. i mean, it's getting up there in years, but is by no means close to "old".
shit. did i sound too sensitive there?
shit. did i sound too sensitive there?
chances are the cops took him to the hospital before running him. which just adds to the embarassment. ahem, not that i know, but you don't ever want to be admitted to er in hand cuffs, the worst part, the mfers had the stones to send me a bill for charges not covered by insurance...hypothetically of course...
# posted by : 2:46 PM
: 2:46 PM
Samurai Scrote used Viet Cong tunnel entrances as toilets. Hence the human claw marks on his ass cheeks.
Shamwow guy uses his funds to fight Scientology, the douchiest religion in the history of religions.
It looks like someone put the slap chop on his mouth and then slapped it.
It looks like someone put the slap chop on his mouth and then slapped it.
# posted by : 3:31 PM
: 3:31 PM
Bet he wishes now it was a frozen flagpole instead of a hooker..the days our youth when instead of pussy we wanted a red rider bb gun
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 3:40 PM
: 3:40 PM
I think his slap chop selling days are over.
Remember the "Dude you're getting a Dell" guy? All he did was smoke a joint.
Remember the "Dude you're getting a Dell" guy? All he did was smoke a joint.
So she's 5'6" and 150. er.... maybe not exactly hot chick material. He claims to have met her in a bar then gave her 1k in twenties for the boning. At least Ms. Pudgy had the decency to keep her mouth shut, well maybe later than she should have but you see my point. He tries to mix up a quick drunken lie when simply being quiet would've kept him from becoming a pop culture footnote. Therefore--DOUCHE ('tard division).
# posted by : 5:30 PM
: 5:30 PM
So she's 5'6" and 150. er.... maybe not exactly hot chick material. He claims to have met her in a bar then gave her 1k in twenties for the boning. At least Ms. Pudgy had the decency to keep her mouth shut, well maybe later than she should have but you see my point. He tries to mix up a quick drunken lie when simply being quiet would've kept him from becoming a pop culture footnote. Therefore--DOUCHE ('tard division).
# posted by : 5:30 PM
: 5:30 PM
Anyone notice that the pics are of two different women (unless of course this is one of those shape shifting hookers who can lengthen and shorten her hair, change her nose and swap jail jumpers from a V neck to a round collar...)
# posted by : 6:08 PM
: 6:08 PM
so The Smoking Gun says she PROPOSITIONED him at about 3~4 AM.
PROPOSITIONED? can't they find a better word? HAHAHAHAHA
PROPOSITIONED? can't they find a better word? HAHAHAHAHA
"911 emergency"
"Aihth gom a pwosoosoo om my doeng"
"I'm sorry, could you repeat?"
"Aith gop a PWOHsoosoo om mah DOUENG"
"I cannot understand...is there someone there who can speak for you?"
"DOE. AH PWOH SOH SOO WIT MAH DOUENG, AN LAO AH GOT HEH THGUCK OM MAH DOENG. GHEE WOAN LHA THO!!"
"Is it something about your tongue?"
"DETH. DETH. A PWOHSOHSOO WIT MAH THUNG!! NEE HEHP."
--VS
"Aihth gom a pwosoosoo om my doeng"
"I'm sorry, could you repeat?"
"Aith gop a PWOHsoosoo om mah DOUENG"
"I cannot understand...is there someone there who can speak for you?"
"DOE. AH PWOH SOH SOO WIT MAH DOUENG, AN LAO AH GOT HEH THGUCK OM MAH DOENG. GHEE WOAN LHA THO!!"
"Is it something about your tongue?"
"DETH. DETH. A PWOHSOHSOO WIT MAH THUNG!! NEE HEHP."
--VS
# posted by : 7:51 PM
: 7:51 PM
Shamfuck. jesus. all i have is swear werds. fuck.
"the faces of meth" has officially been updated.
that is all.
oh yes - and "douchebag supreme" - almost forgot that.
say no to drugs.
"the faces of meth" has officially been updated.
that is all.
oh yes - and "douchebag supreme" - almost forgot that.
say no to drugs.
# posted by : 1:55 AM
: 1:55 AM
Omigolly, Bag Queen, as a few regulars will tell you, I had Crohn's disease, had the colon removed, then went back for another surgery where they took out some more. So yeah, I know hospital gowns real well. Spending several weeks recuperating from gut removal will do that to you. You ain't gonna wear your own jammies, lemme tell ya.
Vince is wearing a hospital-issued examination or bed gown. It's the great equalizer.
Vince is wearing a hospital-issued examination or bed gown. It's the great equalizer.
# posted by : 2:59 AM
: 2:59 AM
Who was it who asked, about these hospital gowns, why they were open at the back? Think they did a long skit about how very few medical emergencies ever required sudden and immediate access to someone's rectum. And those that did - well, they might not thank you for the intervention...
# posted by : 3:09 AM
: 3:09 AM
Couldn't have happened to a better douchebag. This guy's face should be the icon of your site.
# posted by : 4:04 AM
: 4:04 AM
Oh good golly gosh! Dealing with ashfall here in AK made the night not-so-great for a Saturday.....BUT THIS TOTALLY MADE UP FOR IT.
@ Vinny,
after reading your comment, I went to text a friend about this, and started spelling shit like my tongue was being bitten by a hooker who had the right mind to do what the world wanted: shut this fucker up.
Thank you.
@ Vinny,
after reading your comment, I went to text a friend about this, and started spelling shit like my tongue was being bitten by a hooker who had the right mind to do what the world wanted: shut this fucker up.
Thank you.
faces of meth? oh, come on, I get up looking like that after most Fridays out - especially the hair - the resemblance is uncanny
I've never managed the fauxhawk tho, just the bad hair...
I've never managed the fauxhawk tho, just the bad hair...
# posted by : 7:53 AM
: 7:53 AM
Your stolen this picture from smokinggun; this site is a THIEF
give it back loser
OR CAN U?
give it back loser
OR CAN U?
# posted by : 8:15 AM
: 8:15 AM
hey, I'm in Australia, and I'm so impressed I'm going to order a ShamWow AND a SlapChop no matter what it takes to get 'em over here. AND the free graty, it looks good too. You can't buy publicity like this...
# posted by : 8:31 AM
: 8:31 AM
Your stolen this picture from smokinggun; this site is a THIEF
Traditionally thieves don't emblazon the name of the place they took the picture from across the picture when they go to use it. Or credit the site in the opening words of the text beside it. Or link to the page where they found it...
Traditionally thieves don't emblazon the name of the place they took the picture from across the picture when they go to use it. Or credit the site in the opening words of the text beside it. Or link to the page where they found it...
# posted by : 9:14 AM
: 9:14 AM
^The ShamWOW™ will clean coffee off a monitor, and lasts up to ten years...
...stop throwing your money away on paper towels!!
...stop throwing your money away on paper towels!!
"Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons"
So, they smelled like booze?
Gotta love the unnecessary wordiness of police reports.
So, they smelled like booze?
Gotta love the unnecessary wordiness of police reports.
# posted by : 1:09 PM
: 1:09 PM
@Staci
You are quite welcome: it is a service that I perform gladly.
btw, she was paid 1000, but had only 930 on her. Am I the only one wondering what happened to the $70?
--VS
You are quite welcome: it is a service that I perform gladly.
btw, she was paid 1000, but had only 930 on her. Am I the only one wondering what happened to the $70?
--VS
# posted by : 4:01 PM
: 4:01 PM
Didn't this ShamWow guy act opposite Paul Giamatti in Sideways?
How ironic - he took a severe beating from a woman in that movie too.
How ironic - he took a severe beating from a woman in that movie too.
# posted by : 4:10 PM
: 4:10 PM
For a LEGAL "Wok on the Wild Side," I suggest making your own Buddha's Delight at home with the Slap Chop™.
Sometimes I think we immerse ourselves a bit too much in the Schadenfreude of sorry douchebags on this site.
For the unsorry ones, no, we don't.
For the unsorry ones, no, we don't.
# posted by : 7:55 PM
: 7:55 PM
btw, she was paid 1000, but had only 930 on her. Am I the only one wondering what happened to the $70?
---
and how did she turn twenties into $70??? wherever she squirreled them... maybe she keeps some change there all the time...
---
and how did she turn twenties into $70??? wherever she squirreled them... maybe she keeps some change there all the time...
# posted by : 2:30 AM
: 2:30 AM
I always do my Popeye imitation when I see this guy! He's 44? Sounds about right.
I guess he really was strong to the finish because he ate his spinach.
So THAT'S what a thousand dollar hooker looks like?
I guess he really was strong to the finish because he ate his spinach.
So THAT'S what a thousand dollar hooker looks like?
# posted by : 8:20 AM
: 8:20 AM
There's new pics of the beating she took on TSG. Link is above the original story or here's the url. I don't think the beatdown or the meth did her any favors. Ashley Dupree she ain't.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0330091newsham1.html
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0330091newsham1.html
She shouldnt have bit his tongue she got what she deserved..
Why the F did he wanna kiss a hooker anyhow
But the customers always right I says
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Why the F did he wanna kiss a hooker anyhow
But the customers always right I says
# posted by : 12:33 PM
: 12:33 PM << Home
