dude, that's fucking kenda from ho's next door!

good to see she's still keeping it classy.
 

The old dude is Too $hort.
 

This is the odd couple of posses. None of this makes sense.

And some needs to get Bag Bats a freaking shirt!
 

this is at the playboy mansion? what is going on...
 

Hahhah...thats like a wheres waldo pic in the middle of a bunch of waldos!
Seriously that's incredible
 

I WOUDL DRUIVE MY FUCEN RAMSES-INSPIRED WAR CHAIRORT INTO LEFTHAND GLADIATOR SLAPWHOARE"S BUTT! (I WOUDL FUCEN DO IT THRE TIMES, JUST LKE SHE"S ASKING FOR!
 

wait...it's kind of coming back to me...

there was an episode where kendra got a grill made for her jacked up teafs and that asian dude is like THE person all rappers go to to get their grills done.

all I remember is that the asian grill guy was hella gay and totally not a douchebag.

I hate myself for knowing this shit.
 

cocaine is a hell of a drug.
 

and i wish i had NEVER seen this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJVo5LzOe6E
 

Tv Johnny is on fire! I bet some shit went down that night.

Somehow I can't hate on this picture.
 

Those grillz are a culinary necessity. Have any of you actually eaten Vietnamese food? Not the westernized crap you'll find in a restaurant, but real, authentic stuff cooked by old Vietnamese women? I have, and let me tell you, you don't want that shit touching your enamel.

Ol' Batz is really working that 11 year old boy chest. If only his head wasn't so round Kendra could use him as a butt plug.
 

oh bats, you mah boy yo. but it looks strangely like he was photoshopped into this picture. it just cornfuzes me.

I really want the girl on the right to throw a sword at LL Poo Jay and say "Are you Not entertained? You giant giant douche?"
 

Flyteeth reminds me of a constantly drunk welder i met in a village of Azerbaijan that everyone called Covboy (Cowboy)or malbroro man because he also smoked constantly and looked look a withered old cowboy...dude kissed me on the cheeck many times Borat style.

Bats is hanging out with Playboy bunnies...what is wrong with the world?

Army of Douche-ness
 

Richard Kiel & William Hung have a wonderful son.
 

The old guy is Too $hort, one of the greatest rappers of all time.

The Asian dude is Johnny Dang. He is a legend here in Houston for supplying gold grills to all the rappers.

http://www.tvjohnny.net/
 

@boatbutter...nice. real nice.
 

Want to hear one of my greatest fears? I'm laying in bed, lightly asleep, when I awaken to the sound of heavy breathing. Snapping out of my peaceful slumber, I quickly slap on the lights and BAM it's Bag Bats Maru standing on the side of my bed, with this same expression on his face, petting himself.

Now the girls? They're what a think of before falling into a ashamed and exhausted rest.
 

Houston, we have a problem.

Too $hort is not one of the greatest rappers of all time.



sorry.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

as douched out as the other two guys are, hangin with Too Short gives them automatic not-a-douche points.
 

I hate each of these worthless assholes equally.


They are all shit on the sneaker of life.



Db1, please tell us you have another photo of Anya to make up for having to see this ?
 

@pfah
Seconded.

I'm not sorry.

No. I will not "blow the whistle". Jackass.
 

Yo DB1:

Mad props on the hip-hop-heavy tip you be bringin'. Serious blinin' grillz and da girlies dat be poppin' off . . . oh forget it I just can't anymore.

Shit, if 'dis gone be 'dat kinda party, I'ma stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.

This post should keep the Spell Nazi occupied for a while.
 

i stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes once.



probably should have waited until it cooled down some.
 

Our heroes are Bag Maru and Nottadouche Al, who are, of course, trying to rescue the hotts from the evil clutches of L.L. Poo Jay. (I can't get over the notion that Bag Maru looks like someone photoshopped his freakish ass into the scrim, but regardless.) To my jaundiced eye, it actually looks as if NottaD Al's right arm/hand is simultaneously securing the endangered boobies AND is on its course to landing a wicked right hook on Poo.

The Wagnerian-corseted KendraKlone rejoices at their imminent rescue,
never letting on that the two suckle-thighs had their odd-couple rescue planned all along...

Join us next time for more "Bag Batz Maru"!
 

Coincidentally, I was in a friend's car and heard a Too $hort song for the first time in several years:

Ain't nothin' like pimpin', just let it roll/Motherfucker shit goddamn asshole/Ain't nothin' like pimpin' just don't quit/Motherfuck you damn shithead bitch

He is most definitely NOT one of the greatest rappers of all time.
 

his body reminds me of junior high gym class.
 

cocaine makes you feel pretty.
 

from LEFT to RIGHT:

Bleeth, Suka, Douche, WTF, Bleeth
 

BTW, I'm off today!!

Doing yardwork, came in to Ef Wit De Douche.

ASvB
 

Thank God The Girls Next Door is done. Kendra had by far the hottest body but I couldn't stand it when she opened her mouth. Which was why she was on the show in the first place. I wish her the best with her Charger husband as long as she stays off TV, hopefully I don't see her around town either.

TV Johnny, you are the American dream. From jewelry repair to hangin at the playboy mansion. While 'baggery made you famous, I still respect the game.
 

I'm liking the pseudo-shocker the left hott is displaying...
 

All of Nor Cal says one of the greatest rappers...
 

@Bag Hammadi

You mean like this?
 

I think Bag Bats spends his days chained up in the master pantry as Hef's personal, human can opener. That's how rich people roll.

Every two weeks they let him run around the property, feed the monkeys and feel up Kendra.

- D.S.
 

@ARMY

I DON"T KNOW HOW TO WELD BUT I CAN FUFCEN SOLDER SHIT! I SHOUDL TAKE A CLASS OR SOMETHGINU! I COULD MAKE A WLEDED METAL FLYTEHETH WITH ARTISTIC TARMAL!
 

artistic tarmal indeed.
 

@ Adolf

That wouldn't happen to be 10,000 Days you are peering through in your avitar, would it?
 

Anybody who thinks Too Short is not one of the greatest rappers of all time just doesn't know the history of hip-hop. He is ABSOLUTELY a legend. Period. You don't record more than 10 albums spanning more than 20 years and sell multi-platinum records -- with very little radio play to boost sales -- without having serious skills.
 

Bag Bats...What a fucking face. If he is from Texas I bet he's real tight with Paul Wall.

Yep. Although Bag Batz almost looks normal in that picture. There, that's better.
 

And another thing, Too Short never sold out, unlike Cube, Method Man and Redman, and so many others when they were presented the opportunity. (Kids movies, deodorant commercials, etc.)
 

Brothabag Albert? Dude, that is Too $hort.
 

@anon 12:25

Reasonable people can disagree on the quality of music and/or art, but let's not use commercial success or record sales as a measure of whether or not someone is talented. Britney Spears, at last count, has sold over 85 million albums, and all of her "talents" rest firmly inside the spheres on her chest.
 

What makes you think that Too Short got offers to sell out? People only want popular people to sell out.
 

Thats Too Short, Kendra and the Groto!
 

This picture would be infuriating (not douche-hott, as these girls are hott but worthless) if it were not for the most hysterical Saturday WTF gracing the image.

That guy makes me laugh every time I see him.
 

@ Anon

re: selling out

Allow me to quote from the good Reverend Maynard (I think Adolf will know what I'm taling about):

"All you know about me's what I sold you
Dumb fuck; I sold out long before you ever even heard my name
I sold my soul to make a record"
 

Is... is that one girl doing some bizarro two in the pink one in the stink, but as if done with a shoe spreader?
 

why is it always that the anons usually make the dumbest blanket statements?

besides, Kurtis Blow could steal Too $hort's lunch money any day of the week.
 

That's "Poo Short"? Man, I'd have never recognized him!

Seriously, never. I don't fucking care. "Greatest rapper" is still relative. But at least he's not doing anything outwardly douchey here, so I'm content with his notadouche pass.

The other two guys, though.....CHOADS. "Momma gonna knock you OUT," Poo Jay!
 

I like Playboy

Too Short is a good rapper . . . In Oakland.

That small Vietnamese man looks happy.
 

@pfah -

Still lovin' Petunia over here - she rules!



@DB1 -

Be careful next time you hit on librarian hotts:

http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/post/89671992
 

This is the most mixed bag of douches, ever. How the fuck did these guys meet each other!?!?!? Does the stickiness of their hair gel and animal magnetism of their douche-fields just pull them together?
 

Dude, if Bag Bats hangs out with Too $hort, then he's cool with me.

Or maybe $hort Dog is just pimpin' ol' Maru here just like he does hos from the Bay. And by hos, I mean skanks. And by skanks I mean, eh, fuck it. Jim Beam please.
 

@Wheezer...thanks dude! and your dog is quite the handsome beast there my friend.
 

Mr. White:
You made my point. Short had success without the benefit of radio play, big ol' bitties or anything else Britney benefitted from. You're comparing apples and organges. Totally different genres and worlds apart, marketing to different audiences.

Short didn't have crazy pre-teen girls all over the country buy all his records just because they wanted to grow up and be like him. Britney was part of the Mickey Mouse club and had the right look and major marketing behind her, etc, etc.

Anyway, Short is a legend. That's it. Arguments to the contrary aren't based on rational thought or any legitimate knowledge of hip-hop.
 

If I were a dying teenage boy with a chronic illness, I would ask Make a Wish for sex with a Playboy Bunny.

Maybe I should just ask anyway.
 

@ anon 1252

Legend and "greatest rapper of all time" are two different things.

I like too short but i'll take del the phunkee homosapien, sage francis, or sluggo from atmosphere any day as a better rhyme smith.
 

Too Short is a novelty act, but he's funny. I give him a nottadouche pass for not wearing a ton of bling, having gold teef, and backing up all the shit he talks about hoez. The man is a "tru playa". Word.
 

Ah, 'Bag Bats.

We missed you buddy.

Now go clamp down on a third rail somewhere.

AV
 

Kneeling wannabe rapper: "Let's kick the little Chinese guy in the balls and steal his grill!"

Older black dude in t-shirt: "Can I corn him first?"

White chick in bustier: "No, you can't have me."
 

@Sir Douche Wayne,

Verily I'm happy you've joined the good fight, and might I say your vernacular is well tuned with the Queen's English. 'Twill serve you well in your travails about the swampy lands of assfaces. I humbly appreciate and accept your assistance in the merriment of slaughtering dicknoses throughout the land.
 

Is "dicknose" Elizabethan or Edwardian?
 

I thought is was Dickensian.

TOS = Slaysabag? EGAD!
 

Rappers who brag about hoes and their cash
Are a dime a dozen – their stories rehash
Their records are bought
By suburban white rot
Bang! Then their fame disappears in a flash.
 

Yep, there's Too Short. Haha!
 

is the Asian douche escaping this melee? you could convince me he's been forced at the business end of a gat to sport the grillz and the bling only to find his captors distracted by the siren call of the camera...run scrote, run! but alas, the Asian douche, too, falls prey to the irresistible call of the flash bulb with the promise of the elusive fame and misfortune. he is promptly returned to his cage, grillz replaced by bright red ball gag, complete with leather head strap. so close to douche-dom, so far from freedom.
 

Quite the star-studded cast
 

Looks like brotha's got a blonde and rum.
 

Sadly,

My ruse is over.
 

Mr Roboto sure got some pecs - good to see danny glover is still gettin some
 

"$hort dogs in the house, bitch!

Shes a punk-ass bitch, hoe, tramp and a slut
Took her to the hotel just to fuck
Last night she licked all on my balls
Pussy got wet like niagara-falls
Dropped my drawls and bitch said: shit!
Skinny mothafucka with a fat-ass dick"

The immortal words of Too $hort
 

i think that's kendra, the playmate. and i'm pretty sure their all in the grotto.

the other girl is hotter than kendra, sadly.
 

@ Douche Wayne

Oh yeaaaaa
 

The Rack! Gin N'Tomic! Bad Ink! "Bag Bats Maru! And The Golden Shower!

Can even the Justice League prevail against the assembled douchitude of...THE LEGION OF SCROTE!!!???
 

Im from nor cal....he is not one of the greatest rappers. He is one of the dirtiest rappers but not one of the greatest. And if you think he is one of the greatest rappers you probably are the same persone that has a big nor cal sticker in your back window and thinks its awesome. P.S. Its not awesome, its douchey! Think about it....
 

He just bangs Kendra ans stinks.
 

@ TOS

Your secret is safe with me.

@ Sir Slaysabag

HUZZAH!! Break out the mead.

@ Adolf

"They chose me, and I didn't even graduate from fucking high school"

. . . aaand I'm spent.
 

That's some bitchin' Jesus tatt on L.L.Poo Jay.

Bleached blondes have more fun but look more trashy.

Lookin' at Bag Bats reminds me I have a dental appointment next week. With a really good dentist.
 

'Bag Bats Maru looks like the child that would have resulted if Jaws had slept with that nerdy girl at the end of Moonraker
 

Who the hell is this strange asian? Why is he at the mansion? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! Those girls are so easy one of them got banged by her own grandmother when she tripped and fell while walking with a cane.
 

that kendra is one skanky bitch
 

very educated guess:

Bag Bats Maru just finished a session with a porn chick who secretly concluded that he would fail "Lovemaking or Fucking or Whatever the Fuck You Want to Call it 101" 100 times in a row, but told him he's the smoothest bastard she's ever seen because worse things can happen if he gets indignant.
 

I know who Dr. Dre is, and I couldn't name or sing (?) a song of his if you paid me. I know who Ice-T is...moreso because of Body Count, I actually had "Cop Killer" at one time....I know who Snoop Dogg is, and I am familiar with the song "Gin and Juice". I've never heard of Too Short. If word of your brilliance has not reached jaded, cranky, middle-aged white chicks, your star isn't all that shiny.

Just a theory.
 

Yo that is Too $hort. Def not a douche. Bag bats needs a shirt. Looks like little boy. Gross.
 

Damn, I wasnt fast enough, saw the picture in all its douche-glory and am not happy
 

I'd never even heard of Too Short before this pic and thread and to be honest if all he's rappin' about is 'bitches n bling' etc then I'm already not interested in his music.

However I would like to see him plunge his 14 incher into Kendra's rectum while 'Bag Bats Maru fixes him a new set of grillz whilst sing 'Ridin' Dirty' in a nerdy Viet-English accent. Now that would grab my attention for a few minutes.
 

Not too tangent too far off track, but I was going to the airport yesterday and happened to be on the north portion of the Sam Houston tollway (Houston, for those who've never been to Texas). I'm passing by the Sam Houston race park when I see who is performing on April 18th.

50 cent, along with Fallout Boy. At a horse track.

I believe the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will be running in the 3rd race.

P.S. Fuck Bag Bats!
 

"50 cent, along with Fallout Boy. At a horse track.

I believe the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will be running in the 3rd race."

wow, that summed up the entire blood brother's song "teen heat".
 

"These are the tales, the freaky tales...."

Too $hort and Bag Bats Maru, together at last, with a little Kendra from The Girls Next Door thrown in for good measure.

Fuck you, BBM.
 

Short Dog in the house!
 

Every time I see that idiot in the middle I have to say "Chinese Eddie Munster"
 

Not the middle middle but the one a little off to the right
 

Greatest rapper of all time?
Ohhh! So you mean the winner of the Special Olympics when it visited some trashy, dirt-covered, piece of crap town like Atlanta? Thats cool I guess.

I recognized Kendra right away and I'm a little pissed because I thought I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. Fuck.

You gotta respect TV Johnny here. Little fucking viet-man making stupid looking dentures and making millions? Genius. Marketing genius.
 

That guy is fucking awesome.
 

i'm pretty sure that's too $hort.... he deserves respect!
 

One night at a club, she was puttin in work
All you had to do was step up to her
She was in the bathroom sayin one at a time
Wasnt my bitch but she still was fine
So I went in the back room, seen the bitch
Slapped her on the head, said, you ready to switch?
And to the players out there
Instantly, blowjob betty started servin me
Cause the player I am to the day Im dead
I was sittin on the sink gettin some head
It was all so good and much too true
One young freak and a whole damn crew
But then I shot that fatal nut
Must of knocked that bitch on her butt
She couldnt even breathe, she was holdin her throat
Me and my homies just hit the door
My homeboy said $hort dont worry
But that next day I read this story
A young girl died just last night
She choked on sperm in her windpipe
It was on her face, her neck, and chest
And were sorry to say theres no suspect
When I saw that my brain clicked
I bust a nut and killed a bitch
It might sound sick, it might be petty
But ya never been sucked by blowjob betty!

Beeyatch!
 

biiiitch, i kept talkin shit, mother fuck you damn chicken head bitch!
 

These are the tales, the freaky tales. These are the tales that I tell so well...
 

Its nice to finally see Too$hort hangin with the in-crowd.lol. This picture tops out with a combined IQ of a whopping 115, with "Jaws's" to-scale-model stand-in, in the chinese release of JamesBonds MOONRAKER in the backround making the, "Kiss Me Im an Immigrant" face. And the rapper "D-Bag Supreme" at the bottom who makes it apparently clear just from this photo that his Lisp/Stutter combination is only eclipsed in the embarrassment category by his bank account and choice of attire.

D...D..Doo....Doo....DOUCHEBAG