Those two gay guys are accosting that fine young woman.

I like this bikini thing going on so far this afternoon. I hope it keeps up. And by it I mean my IOB.

That girl is fantastically cute and sexy.
 

This picture is blurrier than than my eyes after a typical Friday night Makers Mark binge.
 

... or maybe it's just me. My boss lets me drink at work and I'm already a few beers in.

Shit.

Did I type that out loud?
 

No way, I call definite douche on the Hammer Time cargo pants swim trunks. Fuck, guys, can't you just wear normal pants? I'm sure Macy's will sell you overpriced gaudily printed regular trunks too, you asswipes.
 

what's up with the gay leg pose?
 

Douche Aura = spectral photography?

Oh yeah, and nice ankle bracelet. He's got some Capt. in him, and by 'him' i mean his ass.
 

Ubiquitous red cups? Check.
Cargo pants swim trunks? Check.
Posing with raised legs like male prostitutes (hey, you see lots of stuff when leaving Minute Maid Park after a night game). Check.
Pucca shell ankle bracelet? Check.
Smokin' hot hott in bikini? Check.

What we have here is a hot chick with two Stage 1 Grieco douchebags.
 

Damn, how I wish we could get a not blurry photo of that scrumptious little dessert of a hot!
 

The concept of the douche aura has recently been on the minds of our nation's greatest physicists. Similar to dark matter, it's shear existence cannot be observed but is needed in order to explain other observable phenomenon such as the punchability of these two tools without usual douche accoutrements.

Like Maxwell's aether model, our generation needs a Michelson-Morley experiment to disprove our current douche aura model. This will lay the ground for a true pioneer to posit a groundbreaking theory of relativity in the field of modern douchery.

I leave this endeavour to better minds than mine.
 

please change 'affect' to 'effect' - youre usually so good with that sort of thing.
 

Guy on right: I gotta take a shit.
Guy on left: Push in your stool for ya?


Thanks, I'll be here all week.
 

^
This guy forgets to put an apostrophe in the word "you're" and complains about someone's spelling.

Dick.
 

I'm afraid any bag aura is being trumped by the shadow and backlighting in this photo.
 

Affect is the intended word.
 

Hooray on you, DB1, you DO understand the use of affect. Using effect in this situation would also work, but change the more subtle meaning of "affect" as used here.

Complainer, "af'fect" here is pronounced not like effect, but with the main accent on "af."

Go to your own dictionary and look up the diff meanings and usages of both words. DB1 has chosen wisely.
 

@anon 3:14

Captain Morgan in you?

Thats the pose
 

Because of the blurry factor this Bleeth could either be Sophia Bush , whom I am madly falling-over-myself hot in lust over or Meilssa from the Bachelor-now-Dancing w/Stars



If not either , fuck it.
 

almost wasn't there with you DB1, but then i saw the ankle bracelets and the leg raises. good spottin'.
 

pooka shells + ankle bracelet = douchefag...
 

I'm working out of my backyard with a Mead 3.5" reflecting telescope and a case of Dos Equis Lager to study the Aura, which I theorize is somehow tied to dark matter.

The parallels drawn are just too striking for then not to be.
 

them*
 

Another reason why NHL hockey is great.

A Florida Panther fan exposes her nice breastesses on the JumboTron.

HERE

NSFW , unless you work a place you can drink on the job
 

Lady, trying to bust up a sword fight is a good way to get yourself hurt.
 

@ Vin 5:30

that was outstanding... the only thing that would've made it better is if she pressed 'dem badboys into the glass! priceless
 

my butthole just grinned and winked at this hott

I was a completely surprised and a little scared.

HOH
 

@ Creath...watch the second, uncensored video. She does indeed. Mmmm...condensed milk.
 

She did...
 

the fact that they're in an attempted Captain Morgan pose automatically casts reasonable judgment as them being a pair of 'bags. But i know punks when I see them and......(points)

oh and they have the Red Cups. nuff said
 

So its the 'bag aura that's making this picture blurry right?

And anyone with a puka shell anklet that doesn't have a vagina, is a douche. So guy on the right, be happy I can't see your ankle. You remain a frat-bag. Guy on the left, into the toilet with you.
 

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she is delightfully perky.
they are exasperatingly pooey.
 

Speaking of the remainder, use this equation:

If n is the number of bouncy boobies and d is the douche quotient, then
d mod n > 0 for all d and n. It's a sad truth.

Also, I'm drunk.
 

i get it. this is like when we vote for the Hotts of the year. many a time when we vote for the HotY, the douchebags in the contestant pics are largely ignored, such as and especially Hourglass's Jersey scrote. but does that mean they are made insignificant by the hotness? of course not. we just need to ensure that our mockage of the bags is equal to the inverse of - er, the rest is just mathematical thingamajigs too complex for me to understand.
 

@ M. O.

I am truly smitten... now excuse me while I go milk the "other" creature!
 

I mean she mind as well of shown her boobs at a panthers game. Nobody was watching anyway.
 

Her jubblies wubblie my chubbly bubblie boobie blub glug blug...
 

oh shite i just watched the Panthers fan video too and now i'm cleaning up all the nasal blood i spilled over my monitor and the rest of the room.

so why are we talking about NHL in this thread? oh never mind. BOOBIES!
 

Thanks for "enhancing" the photo with a little more light and less umbra. And more bra.

She is indeed a HOH candidate. Her bikini bottom appears to be a rolled-up matching modesty drape that often is sold with the swimsuit. Ladies, tell me the name of this...like it matters, DUH.

The Captain Morgan pose is now entering the visual lexicon of nerds and douchebags. You know it's a successful marketing idea when it spreads like this.

And by spreads, I don't mean the bed variety,nor the margarine variety, nor the leg-split variety, but certainly the virus variety, as in Grieco.

It's all in a Day in America, and unfortunately in the jet and computer age, anywhere else in the world that "monkeys see, monkeys do-do."
 

I'm either gonna go to bed, jerk off, or listen to "Fragile" by Yes again after witness to this hott who's under some sort of dualistic douchetropic spell of trunks and shades...
 

What is man's relation to the world? Is the subject distinct from the object, or are the two intertwined? And, if the two are intertwined, can we ever disentangle the subjective consciousness of objects from the objects themselves? And, if so, do distinctions actually exist between objects, or are they together one inseparable manifold? And wherefore context? Is context merely a relation between objects, or, is it a third entity in addition to subject and object? Are we to see the world as consisting of: the world, objects, and subjects, or, is the world that which is the sum total of relations between subjects and objects?

If subjects and objects are entangled, and if another subject is just another object from the perspective of the subject, then does it not follow that subjects also stand in entangled relations to one another? If this is so, can we ever disentangle the supple suckle thigh from the scrote?

Rather than a dialectic between the thesis--of feminine Beauty--and antithesis--of masculine Crudity--perhaps the two for a nonseparable unity. For, is it not the case that the curvaceous feminine forms attract the crude masculine forms, and vice versa, such that when the two are in company with one another, the two are perceived as simultaneously distinct objects in the world, yet at the same time their relation itself establishes a context whereby there is no individuality, but rather, a united relational manifold formed between the two?

Or, in other words, the Paradox of Hot Chicks with Douchebags is this: when Beauty is in the presence of Crudity, it is logically, psychologically, and physiologically impossible to disentangle the two, for their union forms one singular sense perception and thus, it is impossible to successfully masturbate to the image of Beauty while its representation INCLUDES if not becomes ONE with the juxtaposed representation of gross masculinity.
 

So the "They Got Some Captain In Them" gesture is the new hotness. Really?
 

Blair,

In observing individuals with limited intellectual capacity, it is not surprising that at best, they can only mimic and reproduce what they see, much like children. Their use of various relevant gestures implies that they are referring to symbols current to the social stream of trend-based consciousness. This act of reference is in fact an act of alignment with self and popular symbol, such that they can bolster their identity by showing their inclusion in popular culture.
 

Those who have the aura will evolve soon enough to stage four uber-douche.
 

hey DB1, you got sued again?

"NOVEMBER 18--Claiming that he has been unfairly branded a "douchebag" in the book "Hot Chicks with Douchebags," a Las Vegas man has filed a libel lawsuit against the volume's author and publisher. Michael Minelli, a 27-year-old club promoter, claims that the inclusion of his photograph in the book has subjected him to "hatred, contempt, and humiliation" and has resulted in "friends, acquaintances, coworkers, employees, and strangers alike" calling him a "douchebag." As seen below, Minelli's photo appears on page 202 of author Jay Louis's book, which was published in July by Simon & Schuster. In the book, Louis noted that Minelli's "popped-collar, spikey-haired presence was so far beyond regular douche, so far beyond uberdouche, he could spontaneously create a new element on the periodic tables--Douche Nine." At the time he was photographed by Louis, Minelli was working the door at the popular "Rehab" party at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino."

Link:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/1118082douche1.html
 

"The Captain in them" was the Captain from Captain and Tennille.
He was in them twice last night...
 

It's Buggery on the High Seas! Anyone else old enough to get that one?
 

ugh I really think the Capt'n Morgan pose is another Douche attribute... seeing it makes me wanna punch walls.
 

Oh beautiful Rachael Ray Hott.
 

I think that the presence of "red cup" might send them into douche territory absent any aura. Without red cup, I don't think you have douche. Just my opinion.
 

Double Shits to Chesty.

Fuck Fung.
 

I'd be kneeing the other guy too, if it would give me the chance to "have time" with Charisma Carpenter hott.
 

Like Maxwell's aether model, our generation needs a Michelson-Morley experiment to disprove our current douche aura model...
The MM experiments proved that light waves did not move through a background aether that pervaded the universe. I refuse to consider that experiment as the outcomes of a positive result would be horrific to say the least. A douche-aether would be, in effect, a background field in the universe that all douches are embedded in and which they modulate to send signals. So far no issues. But the implication of this would be that we are all bathed, 24/7, in a field of douche. Every cell in your body is surrounded by a faint smell of uber-choad. I am not going to be the researcher who breaks that bit of news to the world. Besides, this field would also fuck up the General theory of Relativity and so break many cherished astrophysical models that don't seem to be broken so I doubt it is true. I pray to the gods I can't believe in that it is not true or else there is no hiding from the mysterious forces of douche.

Instead I propose a series of tests based on the theory that the douchefield is something generated by each douche individually (and therefore something we could avoid by standing far enough back).

Hypothesis 1: There is douche field that is generated by long term exposure to the Grieco virus. It causes physical symptoms in those not generating their own douche field including but not limited to nausea and rage.
Test: Measure the intensity of a control group's reactions to random non-douches with hotts. Then replace said humans with plain-clothes choads. Measure the new reactions. Now place a blindfold on the test subjects and re-expose them (to rule out a sight based effect). Now (to rule out the smell of Grey Goose being the driver) wrap the target subjects in airtight layers of clingfilm (not the Hotts, hang on, actually...). Make sure you give the non-choads air supplies. Up to you about the others. Repeat your measurements. Correlate rage/sickness vs choadiness expressed in log(Fung units).

Hypothesis 2: The field effect is propagated at lightspeed.
Tests: Suddenly place the douche next to a Hott. Time the onset of the observers' reactions.

Hypothesis 3: The strength of the effect is proportional to rHott^2 (distance to Hott from Douche squared).
Test: Slowly move the douche closer to the Hott, allowing the observers' moods to stabilise after each increment, and measure their reaction.

Hypothesis 4: The strength of the effect is proportional to rObs^2 (distance to Observer from Douche squared).
Test: Slowly move the douche further from the observers, allowing the observers' moods to stabilise after each increment, and measure their reaction.

Hypothesis 5: The field is quantised into fundamental carrier particles (Bosons are already taken some how about Assons?).
Test: Place a large diffraction grating between the scrote and the observer's. Look for interference patterns in the effect. Can we diffract these particles and therefore divert them from people? Repeat with a range of materials and diffraction grating sizes to check for wavelength effects and transparency.

Bound to be more - someone get me a research grant and I'll write up a proper plan including the test for anti-assons. I reckon injured choads emit these antiparticles and so, if we can prove this, could be used as a basis for an anti-douche weapon. A giant chamber filled with scrotes slowly being wounded would be like a giant laser for anti-assons. A small gap in one end would form them into a potent beam capable of evaporating the douche field at range. I'll set up the chamber, Mr White can do the hard maths.

Boobies.
 

The knee touch may as well be a swordfight. Any homoerotic gestures in the presence of hotts is douche.
 

A lot of people here make extremely well thought posts about asses, boobies, gays, the theory of everything, sex, douches, and teeth.

Math is hard.
 

Math is hard.
But not as hard as taking your eyes off that Hott.
 

@anon 4:56:

The great irony in this is that the douche, like many males in the animal kingdom, work very hard to stand out in order to attact a mate. Wouldn't it behoove them to perform a mating dance that is both unique and exciting, in order to signify to the hott that they are worthy to mount her?
 

@Anon, 5:04 p.m. -

That's old news.

(No, I'm not going for a cheap joke. Cheap hotts, now.....)
 

Oh I see. It's kind of like douche dark matter. It's only perceptible by the total punchworthiness of the picture not equalling outward displays of douchitude.

Fascinating. *strokes chin*
 

And the twin ubiquitous red cups, notwithstanding.
 

i have to chime in here, db1. it may have been overlooked but the puka shell ankle bracelet on the guy on the left and the boy band beard on the guy on the right combined with the tandem pose ala the karate kid gives these boys there bona fides. maybe not full fledged 'bags but 'bags in the making for sure.
 

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They want a little Captain Organ in them.