At the club Vito preferred to dance,
With ladies artificially enhanced.
She found out he is enhanced too,
While at his mom's basement to screw,
Because steroids shrunk everything in his pants.
 

my butthole engulfs him with one contraction,
for his ed hardy shirt is but one infraction,
I am ready for hotts horns in my ass,
this douche will definelty recieve no pass,
a big rubbery gaping butthole is my reaction
 

A douche with a nose that looks broken
‘Bout to break every rule that’s unspoken
He’ll dump this fine lass
And leave for man-ass
Soon a throbbing large cock he’ll be smokin’.
 

fuck you ted
 

Not Liszt so much, but more like Mahler
Born again into late night club squalor
His tonality, stretched
While the rest of us retched
For a bj I'll give Bleethy a dollar
 

A douche with eyes that are so far apart
I bet that he smells like an iguana fart
For this sodomy party
He donned his Ed Hardy
And a backwards ball cap stolen from Wal-Mart.
 

Now we know that Charles isn’t in charge
Poor Scott Baio used to live life large
Now he poses for pictures
While scorin’ D-listers
In the morning he’ll have a painful discharge.
 

Old man hat, in plaid, at stage right
If he gave me 10 bucks we could fight
His head, I would pop
Then steal bikini top
And douse her with pee late at night
 

My turned lid and tattoed bicep is real neat
And my homey's Madras fedora is sweet.
Then there are our Hotts
With their svelt forms and blonde locks.
A douchebag's night is complete !
 

God said, "I'm so bored tonight,
and I'm needing somebody to smite."
Then he spied this tableau
At a rock and roll show
And said, "Now I will punish Great White."
 

The things I would do to this young Cindy Crawford
If I wrote them here, you’d call me a bastard
So let’s just leave it at this:
I would drink all her piss
Then I’d gargle with all the nectar she proffered.
 

We patiently waited for the limerick’s return
Our poetic talents had started to burn
So, what’s that you say?
That limericks are gay?
No, they’re fun for everyone - listen and learn.
 

A fuckface with hazy red eyes
Liked to brag about his enormous size
In blonde's butt I would pee
And she'd prefer me
He's 2 inches his fingers: no lies
 

hardy bag i'm gonna ignora
for scrote in the madras fedora
the blond isn't needing
his wrist breaking leading
have her, needs i, a ruby amphora
 

I believe this hott has just left my bed
Her mouth is still stuck from giving me head
Now to Ed Hardy freak
She’ll teach her technique
So he can perform better for his life mate Ned.
 

An Ed Hardy'd and tattoed Douche Honkey
Crooning to sun dressed perfection in wrong key,
Shatters my heart
And doth make me shart
Cuz he'll soon be ridin' that Donkey
 

Two ladies they met some heavy 'Bags
Who danced on the floor in Hardy rags
One chick had a stache
The other a great ass
Douche apparel should've raised the red flags.
 

A scrote with a face crushed and gritty
threw signs at a hott with pert titty
Her jaws opened wide
His tool thrust inside
She spit it right out, "that tastes shitty!"
 

There once was a douche who’s stare was quite vacant
He led a club-life of a posing douche vagrant
He groped all the chicks
Hoping to find dicks
‘Cuz he preferred she-male love in his basement.
 

Why do our limericks always turn gay?
Can we find nothing better to say?
I guess it just means
Most douchebags are queens
That closet their lusts for meaty swordplay.
 

Anons I’ll save you the time, (we’re all filthy fags
Who sit at computers, mocking douchebags)
And while I’d fellate
Pfah’s awesome bald pate
Sodomy is something of which I can’t brag.
 

There once was a jacked up meathead
He couldn't read so he worked out instead
Along came Ed Hardy
This douchebag must party
We should all beat him with Grey Goose 'til he's dead
 

No limerick: I was in Costco yesterday and they are now carrying Ed Hardy T-shirts. I wanted to burn the store down, although it should probably be nuked from orbit; it's the only way to make sure.
 

Vito the Guido went to a dance,
with visions of getting into her pants.
A backwards cap and Ed Hardy T,
insured in her butt he would not pee.
 

Two hotts with a low balance bank card
flashed tit to get past the club door guard.
They searched high and low
for a cash-laden beau
But wound up instead with a retard.
 

Young Sylvester weaves to the club
driving a Camaro, sloshed as a tub,
Hiding a hairline retreating from shame,
A stupid looking hat covers missing mane.
A smart man would be depressed
at such personal distress,
but Sly just grabs a bleeth and cries:
"muuuuhrururururhruhrmrmrmrmrmmm!"

I dunno if it's a limerick, but fuck it, it rhymes.
 

There once was a greasey Greco-Roman 'bag.
His hott, by her locks of gold, he did drag.
To his rat-infested love cave,
Where she was his love slave.
To her, being beaten wasn't worth refusing a shag.


-Amerigo Vesdouchey
 

This might be a far stretch, but isn't that Kissyface Nelson?

Wow, Kissy, you've been working out. And you look even shittier than you did before.

This photo's got me in a tizzy
that print on her dress makes me dizzy
but those tender lips
and suckable hips
are making my fingers get busy
 

Hottie and Hootie on the right are posing for tomorrows HCwDB pic.
 

Vito, hat 180 degrees
Knows with what the ladies he'll please:
Cell phone in hand
And biceps most grand
Plus the shirt bears a Hardian frieze

Lola, most wildly arrayed
In colorful frock, be it said
With her mouth open wide
You can see deep inside
To the point that it makes you afraid

In the background, tangled fingers ensue
With blonde hott and Burberry Blue
Does Blue seek to trade,
His hottie away
To some other douche, not in the view?

Really, Lola, flaunting your breastesses
Which, be it said, not one of the bestesses
That we've seen in these pages
But your Douche Gala rages
So go return to your drunken scrote festesses

--VS
 

if you shot up steroids in a rat
you'd produce a being like this cat
it possesses no doubt
just like this lout
breathe that smells like bear scat

yup, need coffee & pain killers!
 

if it's big dick this gal doth seek
down my trousers she should take a peek
then suck my flesh bong
and straddle that schlong
she would not walk right for a week
 

backwards hat, ed hardy shirt is named binky
bleethy hott gasps for air cuz he's stinky
in her diseased twat
I wouldn't be caught
given the choice I'd rather fuck plinky
 

Crucial @ 9:51 FTW

Why is Jim Bob in the background wearing a blue plaid fedora?
 

just checked, yup, I'm still drunk!
 

Jeez, that place looks like it's just rife with douche detritus.
 

Great Caesar's Ghost... There have been many, many Hotts I've seen on this site, enough to compel me to force feed myself five King Size Butterfingers while I cry and masturbate simultaneously... But THIS ONE just made my pituitary gland secrete something I'm not familiar with.
 

Vito's performin' grab-assin'
While sweet hott makes like an assassin
If her gun were real
Oh, such joy I would feel
And not cry one bit at his passin'
 

This hott makes my naughty bits tingle
Oh I wish I was both gay and single
I'd make use of her mouth
And let mine travel south
'Til I find the spot that makes her bell jingle
 

Lincoln Hawk douche deserves not,
This luscious perky booby hott.
Her gesturing hand,
Frames her perfect mamm.
She's so hott she's Over The Top.
 

"Franz Liszt? Wrong number!"
 

Two gruesome twosomes and One,
Were exploring the dance floor for fun:
Grue-one's frontal attack,
Grue-two's yank from the back,
And poor One's got no boobies or bun.
 

prickly fingers and deft motion.
the gaping mouth a douche ocean.
her bleethness is bad,
but her curves are rad.
my shameful cock yearns for lotion.
 

Franz Lister and Frederic Chopin,
Were tinkling the ivories at hand.
Frederic pulled a mazurka,
While Franz went berserka:
Sforzandos were all that they'd planned.
 

Man is twister dress hott
Perky but not store bought
she tickles my pickle
damn lust is fickle
for my load is certainly shot
 

11:21 pm, glued to my chair
by a vexing hott with blonde hair
a rod in my hand
a stiff sexual gland
she's eyefucking with that psychotic stare
 

"Hook em" her hand seems to suggest
ever close to her firm right breast
well I've got a horn
that I'm glad to adorn
that QMSH is sure to attest
 

"Aye, yo Adrian", Rocky yelps
seemingly searching for help
"I'm not a douchebag",
just a confused fag
and as dumb as Michael Phelps
 

Tatarino left the Sweathogs
for an acting gig somewhere in Prague
he didn't get to plunder
now he wields a plunger
at Denny's working shit clogs
 

Baggins is off tonight
an alcohol induced plight
I'll be sober soon
at least by June
by then, limericks will be alright
 

Hello to all of my friends
my name is Dildo Baggins
a drunkenly sot
who some may have forgot
is trying to make ammends
 

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a dress most grand, made of fine azaleas.
burns a thousand holes in my poor corneas.
i cannot resist
so i cease and desist
while my brain is filled with naughty ideas.
 

finally, now i write for the scrote.
you have the face of an old drowned goat.
the only piece of garbage
that can elevate your visage
is the Ed Hardy shirt that you proudly tote.
 

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I love fellow hunter Dildo Baggins
And I forgive him of all his quaint sins
May you post more thoughts
Disecting 'bags and hotts
It's good to share dark thoughts amongst friends.
 

To cab drivers who go fare-less,
Exploit the hotts who care less.
As we all plainly see
He's not reached puberty -
Makes his arm all smooth and hairless
 

This scene I see is not groovy
But babe clutches for side booby.
And so in my mind's eye
I can see suckle thigh
While I dost reach for the lubey.
 

When finding himself unemployed
Kissyface Nelson took 'roid.
No intention to fock her,
But the obvious shocker
Shows that he is clearly annoyed.
 

There once was a black-shirt retardy
Who hooked up with hotts being "tardy".
With a band 'cross his head,
And a shirt labelled Ed,
I'm afraid I'm the one who has 'hardy'.