Thursday, February 19, 2009
Nub Stinks
Yeah yeah.
Nub first appeared on the site back in November, stalking the Sorority Hotts, and then proved his fratdouchery here, here and here.
Okay, the truth is we kinda like Nub. He's harmless.
A non-threatening a douche. Kind of amusing, actually. But he pulls the A-list college hott and makes the stupid hair.
And so we mock his sorry ass.
Comments:
<< Home
I feel like I need to ask Nub what's wrong. He looks to me like hes either about to cry, or he's constipated. This is why I don't offer emotional support.
I'm glad that nub is trying to make himself look smarter by wearing glasses. at least he's trying. On the other hand, as we can see from look on young Sara Tarkajinian, the president of the university's Armenian student union, he still hasn't learned to hold in his farts in mixed company.
glasses AND a mohawk? what is that look saying?
if you look closely there's a little tiny surfer riding that thing on his head.
if you look closely there's a little tiny surfer riding that thing on his head.
# posted by 
: 11:46 AM
: 11:46 AM
Nubs always looks like he just shat his pants, and isn't sure if he's ok about it. But I'm liking blondy bust on the left.
Well, Nub's come a long way from those Mountain Dew jammies. He must be celebrating his promotion at Best Buy.
Blondie's boyfriend Rex walked up to Nub and asked "Are you looking at my girlfriend's breasts?" right before the picture was taken. Nub's girl "The Ice Princess" was shocked.
Nub looks like Mr. Hankey's son, Simon. So that's what little Christmas poos look like in college.
http://www.southparkstuff.com/images/stories/epiimgs/epi417/417_simon.gif
http://www.southparkstuff.com/images/stories/epiimgs/epi417/417_simon.gif
# posted by : 11:53 AM
: 11:53 AM
Early on in my childhood, I may have been six or seven years old at the time, my father knelt beside me and whispered:
Son, in order to attain ‘bag hunting nirvana, you must fashion your verbal barbs like a shotgun shell: a tightly wadded package of shrapnel designed for maximum coverage, minimal escape.
Boom!
Thhweerp.
Riiiippp.
Slash.
It’s the bleeding that takes time. Not the injury that causes it. Bleeding is what they do afterward, reeling from the attack.
They must bleed.
And then he punched me in the mouth and told me to finish the bottle of mescal.
Anyways, long story short, Plinky: you have reached that nirvana many times over the last few days. Carry on mi amigo.
Son, in order to attain ‘bag hunting nirvana, you must fashion your verbal barbs like a shotgun shell: a tightly wadded package of shrapnel designed for maximum coverage, minimal escape.
Boom!
Thhweerp.
Riiiippp.
Slash.
It’s the bleeding that takes time. Not the injury that causes it. Bleeding is what they do afterward, reeling from the attack.
They must bleed.
And then he punched me in the mouth and told me to finish the bottle of mescal.
Anyways, long story short, Plinky: you have reached that nirvana many times over the last few days. Carry on mi amigo.
Stressful situations always gave Nubs indigestion, and at his college dissertation after party he found it difficult to hold his flatulence in, much to the dismay Cathy. Nubs always felt awkward in these situations where he couldn't just hit something. And the roids were making the backne move up his neck, over his head, and onto his face. Surely nuclear medicine would be easier to get through than these socially awkward moments.
You could see that look again in Ramona's eyes, or maybe not because her eyes were closed, but if they were open you'd be able to see that look that says "I'm about to vomit."
In the background, young DeJuan rolled a blunt under the watchful gaze of a Jackson Pollack masterpiece.
In the background, young DeJuan rolled a blunt under the watchful gaze of a Jackson Pollack masterpiece.
# posted by : 12:01 PM
: 12:01 PM
nub looks like a grown up baby toy
He always seems to look lost
For Christ sake can someone show him where the bathroom is
He always seems to look lost
For Christ sake can someone show him where the bathroom is
# posted by : 12:03 PM
: 12:03 PM
@ Crucial Head
Seriously ... you and I need to hook up. My wife doesn't blow me as good.**
If you're willing to grow pig-tails and tone down that pencil thin mustache of yours I'd hop a bird to LA in a heartbeat.
Ok enough of the fag-hag talk. Thanks brother. First Baron von Goolo now Crucial Head. But I can't take full credit, I've got a friend in Bob Ross who puts me in my happy place.
**Not true. The wife gives terrific head, just ask DarkSock.
Seriously ... you and I need to hook up. My wife doesn't blow me as good.**
If you're willing to grow pig-tails and tone down that pencil thin mustache of yours I'd hop a bird to LA in a heartbeat.
Ok enough of the fag-hag talk. Thanks brother. First Baron von Goolo now Crucial Head. But I can't take full credit, I've got a friend in Bob Ross who puts me in my happy place.
**Not true. The wife gives terrific head, just ask DarkSock.
Myrna looked away in shame and disgust, as Clarence grasped her soiled sanitary napkin in a fit of uncontrollable hunger, and began feasting before the traumatized throng of revelers.
Antwan looked down and muffled a slight grin, while he delicately penned the alphabet with his exposed genitalia, on the back of Nub's oblivious sports coat.
@ Anon 12:32
That's why I am my own father and brother.
See, you made a funny. Baby steps big guy; baby steps.
That's why I am my own father and brother.
See, you made a funny. Baby steps big guy; baby steps.
Nub shot one of his vacant stares at the camera with his dark, almond-shaped Egyptian eyes. This wasn't the first head-theme party he'd been to, and he wanted to really outpoo the competition, such as Dewuan behind him in the white helmet with the blue feathers on top. The ladies were excused, as it was a men's only "showing" of cock-a-doodle.No one could match Nub's singular "tip." His father had been a HotPoint appliance salesman "back in the day" and the gift was passed on to the next generation: Nub "had it" and found full doucheitude, even though the stove-range gas flame metaphor was lost. Still, at times he can be heard muttering, "What's cookin'?" as he greets folks at parties.
We'd just like to say "Whatever you got goin' is fine with us."
We'd just like to say "Whatever you got goin' is fine with us."
# posted by : 12:40 PM
: 12:40 PM
Nub was taking a much-needed break from his sometime job as an eye- model for Orthodox ikon painters, who got the biggest kick rubbing their nibs on his nub with their titanium white.
# posted by : 12:47 PM
: 12:47 PM
All I'm saying plinky, is that before you post, ask yourself, does this suck?
# posted by : 12:48 PM
: 12:48 PM
"You see, sweet friends? I live the life of a ne'er-douche-well bon vivant, but inside I am a desert whose arid salt-caked wilderness yearns only for the cool liquid touch of your healing Love. Hold me as I hold this weird blinking midget woman whom I have only just met and whose name I have already forgotten."
# posted by : 12:50 PM
: 12:50 PM
Way to bring your step-sister with cerebral palsy to the party, it gives you that sensitive guy factor to pull in rosy cheeked corn fed goodness.
Will somebody give this guy a soul? I haven't seen a face that vacant since I last watched a Keanu Reeves movie.
Will somebody give this guy a soul? I haven't seen a face that vacant since I last watched a Keanu Reeves movie.
# posted by : 12:51 PM
: 12:51 PM
nub is pretty non-threatening. if he had a normal haricut he prob wouldn't be on this site. that said, who the fuck gives haircuts like this? pony up the dough bro and go to supercuts or something for fucks sake.
# posted by : 12:54 PM
: 12:54 PM
Trying to camoflauge the enormous zit on top of his head, Nub dipped it in baby oil and sprinkled it with Pedi-egg clippins.
- - - - - - - - - -
Cartoon bubble above the head of the black dude standing behing Nub:
"These fucking honkeys are weird, man. Whats'sup with that dude's big head?!? Look like he got it stuck in plinky's mom's butthole or somethin'.
- - - - - - - - - -
Cartoon bubble above the head of the black dude standing behing Nub:
"These fucking honkeys are weird, man. Whats'sup with that dude's big head?!? Look like he got it stuck in plinky's mom's butthole or somethin'.
@ Anon 12:48
{{{{{{{{{{{GONG}}}}}}}}}}}}
You just blew it. Damn so close!
I'll put my stuff up against yours any day, little pud. Or go back to Nik Ritchie's website.
{{{{{{{{{{{GONG}}}}}}}}}}}}
You just blew it. Damn so close!
I'll put my stuff up against yours any day, little pud. Or go back to Nik Ritchie's website.
@ Anon 12:48
One last thing: there are those who are cool, and there are those who say they're cool.
There are those who are funny, then there's you.
One last thing: there are those who are cool, and there are those who say they're cool.
There are those who are funny, then there's you.
The brother in the back looks like he's been "sippin' on the syrup." Looks like he passed it to Nub as well.
Nub thought he'd try the librarian glasses hottie trick, and what a difference it makes, because for a douche with no tatts, no bling and no piercings (to the visible eye, that is),it adds an alarming visual verisimilitude thus far lacking, even though the poo-stench serves as fair enough warning even around the corner before the sudden shock of seeing the "nub" does its job on the laugh-or-run-o-meter.
And behold, one hottie laughs at the sight, the other ups her nose at the stench, and Nub still hasn't a clue: he's near-sighted and cannot see, and has a sinus infection and cannot smell, and the tell-tale bloodied Kleenex gives it all away.
As does the ubiquitous red cup, the boobies and the long flowing hair on cooed hotts.
And behold, one hottie laughs at the sight, the other ups her nose at the stench, and Nub still hasn't a clue: he's near-sighted and cannot see, and has a sinus infection and cannot smell, and the tell-tale bloodied Kleenex gives it all away.
As does the ubiquitous red cup, the boobies and the long flowing hair on cooed hotts.
# posted by : 1:08 PM
: 1:08 PM
Plinky - I don't want your stuff up against mine reading as how you are admittedly gay.
# posted by : 1:12 PM
: 1:12 PM
Nub says, "Better to be in a poo-ing contest than a pissing contest if you are doucheing around."
# posted by : 1:14 PM
: 1:14 PM
lol that's the best photo... Nub is a harmless weirdo. Too bad both hotts are not even looking at him (one has her eyes closed - classic).
Clearly the Ultra Hott on the left took this picture so she could make fun of the choad on the right while showing it to her friends.
Stupid pimple headed douche was enough to qualify him, but the hair just turns it into a shoe-in.
Ultra Hott on the left just makes ones knees weak, I bet she could probably persuade anyone to do anything, even negotiate peace between North and South Korea.
Stupid pimple headed douche was enough to qualify him, but the hair just turns it into a shoe-in.
Ultra Hott on the left just makes ones knees weak, I bet she could probably persuade anyone to do anything, even negotiate peace between North and South Korea.
# posted by : 1:18 PM
: 1:18 PM
In these recessionary times it's heartwarming to see a success story.
Ladies and Gentlemen may I present...Nub.
From Wal-Mart Mountain Dew pajamas to a sporty blazer in three short months.
Rock on Oh Nubular One
Ladies and Gentlemen may I present...Nub.
From Wal-Mart Mountain Dew pajamas to a sporty blazer in three short months.
Rock on Oh Nubular One
you know, if you put your thumb over the top of nubs head, just above the glasses, it gives you an impression of nubs potential appearance had he just knuckled down and studied more...he could be almost, 'normal'.
alternatively you could obscure his entire head and radically improve the vista (but you may need more than one thumb).
alternatively you could obscure his entire head and radically improve the vista (but you may need more than one thumb).
# posted by : 1:18 PM
: 1:18 PM
Head Start made a permanent and memorable impression on Nub's early childhood education.
# posted by : 1:19 PM
: 1:19 PM
Adolf Skroatler von Spell Nazi??
or, Plinky's stalker?
I am perplexed... or just smart. Or retarded. Hmmm.
or, Plinky's stalker?
I am perplexed... or just smart. Or retarded. Hmmm.
The sorority girl says to her pledge, "Last week you did a midget, a wrestler and a priest, but for Hell-Week, you have to do a DoucheBag!!"
ASvB
ASvB
HA HA!!!
;^) <------- That is the epitome of gay!!!
Shit really did make me laugh. That's good plinky. You suck. But that's good.
;^) <------- That is the epitome of gay!!!
Shit really did make me laugh. That's good plinky. You suck. But that's good.
# posted by : 1:25 PM
: 1:25 PM
@ BCS
Sorry I have been unavailable. I miss all the fun.
Idahott and MeduSSa know how to get ahold of me. They share my special services.
@Crucial
Nope, not Spell Nazi, but I confess to half of the moniker.
I am glad to be contributing at least a little bit again, I am negotiating to have a different position in the company so that I would have more income, company car, and unlimited access to HCwDB. No kidding, I put that in the contract.
ASvB
Sorry I have been unavailable. I miss all the fun.
Idahott and MeduSSa know how to get ahold of me. They share my special services.
@Crucial
Nope, not Spell Nazi, but I confess to half of the moniker.
I am glad to be contributing at least a little bit again, I am negotiating to have a different position in the company so that I would have more income, company car, and unlimited access to HCwDB. No kidding, I put that in the contract.
ASvB
am i the only one noticing the black sweater bicep between the boobies bronski action going on here?
Speak for yourself DB1! Nub is not harmless. He reinforces the stereotypes of a generation that has no aspirations beyond being a contestant on MTV Road Rules Challenge. Ask anybody in their early 20's who's actually going to amount to something how they feel about Nub's assclownery.
He is not non-threatening. He threatens my sense of good taste with a "haircut" that's drenched in attention-starved neurosis and what appears to be a tanktop under his jacket.
And, kind sir, don't you dare imply that "we" kinda like him. In as much as I might be included in that "we," let it be clear that I would rather vomit glass shards than spend 60 seconds with this tool.
He is not non-threatening. He threatens my sense of good taste with a "haircut" that's drenched in attention-starved neurosis and what appears to be a tanktop under his jacket.
And, kind sir, don't you dare imply that "we" kinda like him. In as much as I might be included in that "we," let it be clear that I would rather vomit glass shards than spend 60 seconds with this tool.
(to the tune of "Lump")
Nub stands alone in his mental marsh/
totally emotionless and withholding a fart/
Nub cruises for hotts in Mountain Dew pajamas/
she's totally enthralled by all his fancy mandanas
He's Nub, He's Nub,
Please punch his head.
He's Nub, He's Nub, He's Nub
Wish he was dead.
Nub stands alone in his mental marsh/
totally emotionless and withholding a fart/
Nub cruises for hotts in Mountain Dew pajamas/
she's totally enthralled by all his fancy mandanas
He's Nub, He's Nub,
Please punch his head.
He's Nub, He's Nub, He's Nub
Wish he was dead.
Thanx, Crucial, I'll let the coven know you like my wizardry.
And we are enjoyin' the return on Pfah!
And we are enjoyin' the return on Pfah!
# posted by : 3:55 PM
: 3:55 PM
Nub is a gaseous poo-star in a doucheous nebula...
...a surge of sewage spawned by a choad overload...
...the Dairy Queen's vision of the Dairy King's cum-shot...
...a surge of sewage spawned by a choad overload...
...the Dairy Queen's vision of the Dairy King's cum-shot...
# posted by : 4:07 PM
: 4:07 PM
Nub went to a tent-gathering, confessed his sins, and found Jesus, and still to this day wears the high, white magnesium flamepoint of the Holy Spirit atop his nuggin, which has left him speechless, as evidenced by his holding his torn-out tongue in his left hand.
Blonde hotts can deal with this, but brunettes have a stinkin' hard time.
Blonde hotts can deal with this, but brunettes have a stinkin' hard time.
# posted by : 4:19 PM
: 4:19 PM
Don't coddle Nub. He may seem harmless, a non-threatening douche. But unlike another friendly scrotewank, Bra, Nub doesn't bring the party, (nor the tasty beverages.) He's just your average fratbag sitting in the back of my Econ class, making dick jokes, and talking about buying beer for underage hotts at the local mall. F you, Nub. If anyone has "date-rape face" it's you, buddy.
# posted by : 4:25 PM
: 4:25 PM
In a state of shock, Nub holds the broken-off part of his unicorn-horn which was just clipped in the doorframe, giving him a short pecker, from which he has quickly drawn attention away by lowering his shirt and making himself into a long-necker; from which blonde hottie thirstily awaits the fill of her red cup while displaying her overflowing blue cups, the entire episode of which brunette hottie exhibits total pain, shame and disdain.
And cleavage.
And cleavage.
# posted by : 5:26 PM
: 5:26 PM
Do you guys think its jizz keeping that trainwreck clumped together on his head? I hope chubby on the left kicked his tiny nads and sent him back home to his aunt flo's basement.
# posted by : 5:31 PM
: 5:31 PM
Nice one Chris...
I would just like to add that if my face broke out like that I would probably crush a paper wrapping as well. And remember Nub just because you wear glasses doesn't mean we wont hit you!
I would just like to add that if my face broke out like that I would probably crush a paper wrapping as well. And remember Nub just because you wear glasses doesn't mean we wont hit you!
# posted by : 6:19 PM
: 6:19 PM
Ah, Nub. He always looks confused...as if he wants to know what everyone is laughing at, but is afraid to ask in case it's him.
And he is correct.
And he is correct.
Medusa, your pic stirs me. And your comment amuses me.
I feel bad for nub in this pic. Then I check out the archives, and I don't feel bad. I feel hope. Hope that this douche is on the cusp of a breakthrough.
Hitting bottom is not a vacation.
I feel bad for nub in this pic. Then I check out the archives, and I don't feel bad. I feel hope. Hope that this douche is on the cusp of a breakthrough.
Hitting bottom is not a vacation.
is Nub distressed about the fact that he can't showcase his abs in a seemingly formal function? i wouldn't be surprised. he tends to look glum when he's all dressed up. poor Nub. now stuff the glasses down your throat.
@ Gaijindouche 8:33
You should see the rest of the photo that was cropped away. There's a reason I'm snarling like that.
The bidding starts at 1,000 USD.
You should see the rest of the photo that was cropped away. There's a reason I'm snarling like that.
The bidding starts at 1,000 USD.
Sheeeeeit...I understand you're in Japan, correct? Aren't there vending machines with the severed heads of Japanese schoolgirls in 'em on every corner or something? You don't need much to get your deviance on in the land of the rising sun, from what I understand.
Which reminds me...time to plan my next holiday travels...
Which reminds me...time to plan my next holiday travels...
@ Medusa 10:46 PM,
vending machines in Japan dispense schoolgirl PANTIES, not severed heads.
i know this because i have extensive - er never mind. >_>
vending machines in Japan dispense schoolgirl PANTIES, not severed heads.
i know this because i have extensive - er never mind. >_>
The Nub? Harmless?
May I remind you he once snapped a girl's neck, just for mentioning his yellow sneakers were untied??
May I remind you he once snapped a girl's neck, just for mentioning his yellow sneakers were untied??
@ Medusa,
I may be quite literally RUINED on an assload of Jameson and the one gin and tonic I was bullied into in a moment of weakness...
But I'm pretty sure I want to fistfight you right now. You be Scorpio and I'll be Sub-Zero, woman. HAVE AT THEE!!!
I may be quite literally RUINED on an assload of Jameson and the one gin and tonic I was bullied into in a moment of weakness...
But I'm pretty sure I want to fistfight you right now. You be Scorpio and I'll be Sub-Zero, woman. HAVE AT THEE!!!
I think Charles Bronson shot that idiot with an RPG in Death Wish 3.... -Paul Kersey
# posted by : 9:43 AM
: 9:43 AM
Huh. That's hair on his head? who knew?
I could a swore it was a horn. And thus his theme song:
Me so horny
I could a swore it was a horn. And thus his theme song:
Me so horny
Sweet Jeezus! It's the real-life version of Tin Tin!
http://images.google.com/images?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&q=tin%20tin&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
http://images.google.com/images?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&q=tin%20tin&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
Genius: Dorkus Nubis Until recently only found South of the 38th parallel but thanks to global warming, he’s been moving further North. Legal to shoot on site in Montana.
# posted by : 11:25 AM
: 11:25 AM
Genius: Dorkus Nubis Until recently only found South of the 38th parallel but thanks to global warming, he’s been moving further North. Legal to shoot on site in Montana.
# posted by : 11:25 AM
: 11:25 AM
@ Douche unto others
So would that be foreplay role-play, or are you talking a legit fight? Either way, I like that idea. I look good in yellow.
So would that be foreplay role-play, or are you talking a legit fight? Either way, I like that idea. I look good in yellow.
Smiling Sarah throws back her blonde tresses and grins from ear to ear, for at long last her search is over for the largest Kewpie doll ever, to add to her collection.
Post a Comment
# posted by : 7:39 PM
: 7:39 PM << Home
