Wednesday, February 18, 2009
HCwDB of the Week: Rusty the Frill-Necked Lizard

Proving even a "pro" Vegas spectacular douchpocalype and a Bleethy, bony hott can ride to victory, the win was solid by Rusty. The voters speak:
Alexander the Douche: My limited vocabulary lacks the proper verbiage to describe the pile of excrement that is Rusty.
Anonymous: Rusty the Frill-Necked Lizard is a "KICK FACE"!!! He wins hands down!
Billy Jag: i keep staring at this picture of this mohawked idiot by the pool and hoping that a giant disembodied fist will fly in from the right of the frame and punch him squarely in his annoying face. i agree that his hott is bleethed beyond repair and while i usually like my skanks with a little more meat on their bones, there is still something undeniably sexy about her... and when i say "undeniably sexy" i mean "chlamydia." rusty ftw
ohiofj: Rusty - hands down - a lot of prep work went into this final moment that was caught ever-so-well by the photographer. Every thing clicks (actually booms) for a douche bag in this shot. I am writing in Jeff Reed for honorable mention.
Disconnected: Rusty the frill-necked lizard for the win! The best hott this week, and his facial expression is just so incredibly tense, that he can only be a) straining not to prematurely decorate his pants due to the proximity of the hott, or b) trying to pass that double-choc-protein-bar-mixture-thing that he has to eat to maintain those muscleoids.
douche equis: Rusty -- he best evokes the "desire to slug in face" response that is so important to gut-instinct douchebag detection.
Ojo Rojo: Rusty TFNL, FTW. He's got the copious markings of the urban douche tribe warrior that just absolutely scream, "LOOK AT ME!!!" only the way a douche can. The last time it was cool to look like that was at Little Big Horn.
Excellent job, panel. A solid victory for the write-in Lizard candidate and his Bony Hott in the tighty-tights. But the everypoo of Tony Broma came in a solid second:
Kennedy Smith: Tony Broma. I betting in that pic he's playing a really sweet Night Ranger lick on his air guitar.
MD(ouche)C: While Lorie is the least hott (and/or sleazy) of the four hotts in the running, Tony is far and away the bigger douchebag. Decider for me was the mandana on his right wrist and the hint of a dogtag chain (could be a cross... or a shark's tooth... who knows?!)
ehcuodouche: Tony Broma, on the other hand, exhibits exquisite punchy-face. I actually think he might be air-guitaring here, which explains the sign confusion. Note also the ring on the index finger, yet nowhere else, showing the damage the roids have done to his testosterone-addled brain.
Dolphe Douchegren: It's gotta be Tony Broma. It's the back to basics homegrown douche flavor that in the end triumphs over the glitzy and dazzling appearance of the more elaborate species. The balance between innocence and total scrotewank in the picture makes the ratio pretty close to golden.
In many ways, Tony Broma had a subtler yet more potent hottie/douchey cohabitation than the loudness of Rusty. But the voters spoke, so who am I to argue? And the Frat-genericism of "FTW" came in a distant and pooey third:
Count Douchekevitch: For The Wank, For the Weekly, on the potency of his stenchy frat-choadness plus the worst white boy tattoo ever. Way to qualify for the eminem "what hood are you from?" club. His 18 year old Id so suppresses the ego, that when his super-ego awakes (say in 10 years,) the "I'm 30 and I already regret my tattoo" feeling may drive this gimp to do us all a favor and jump off the top of Paris Las Vegas' tower. Oh yes, plus the bikini lovelies on each arm.
But this was Rusty's week to triumph. As Shpoople World Champion sums it up:
Rusty FTW. Only because I can imagine him saying something like this...
"FUGGIN HEAD SCARS AND TATTOOS, THAT'S WHAT RUSTY DOOO!!!! What kind of toppings for your sandwich?"
Exactly Shpoople. While I wasn't sure Rusty and Lotus Flower fit the authentic "hott/douche", the voters have spoken, and Rusty and tighty tight bony hott, have earned their well deserved seat in the Monthly.
Comments:
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Good for you, Rusty. You and Madonna mole bleeth enjoy your day by the pool and toast to your victory.
Just don't party too hard, Rusty. Don't forget you have a 9:45 appointment with Dr. Dragontat to discuss the results from the "why the hell is my jaw connected directly to the top of my ear, making me look like a disgusting lizard?" test he performed last week.
-Wop
Just don't party too hard, Rusty. Don't forget you have a 9:45 appointment with Dr. Dragontat to discuss the results from the "why the hell is my jaw connected directly to the top of my ear, making me look like a disgusting lizard?" test he performed last week.
-Wop
I shaved my pubes, showed you, tatooed "FTW" on my abdomen, scored two hotts, and I get a distant third? Sweet Jebadiah...tough crowd.
-FTW
-FTW
Looking at that head wound above his left eye should one feel sorry for Rusty? Is he a trauma victim? As a result of his injury should one cut him some slack for his questionable choices in life?
Naaaaah. Fuck him with a splintered axe handle.
Naaaaah. Fuck him with a splintered axe handle.
Congrats Rusty. I'll be back with the kids at feeding time to watch them drop crickets into your cage.
You gotta figure a chick with those kindda tats all over her back isn't gonna be whinning about taking it in the ass.
@Pfah
Are you gonna stick around for awhile this time?
I mean, your warped sense of humor was lacking in the threads lately.
Darksock has been consistent in your absence and is most likely completely insane.
Are you gonna stick around for awhile this time?
I mean, your warped sense of humor was lacking in the threads lately.
Darksock has been consistent in your absence and is most likely completely insane.
She looks like she's addicted to Anrexol®.
New, from the makers of Bulimian®. Try new Anarexol®.
If you or someone you know wants to maintain that gloriously thin runway model figure, be sure to try new Anarexol®.
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Side effects may include:
Weight loss
Hair loss
Bad breath
Loss of bone mass
Low blood pressure
Constipation
Anarexol® is a registered trademark of Bleeth Laboratories.
New, from the makers of Bulimian®. Try new Anarexol®.
If you or someone you know wants to maintain that gloriously thin runway model figure, be sure to try new Anarexol®.
Lose weight fast without all the hassle of actually eating food.
Side effects may include:
Weight loss
Hair loss
Bad breath
Loss of bone mass
Low blood pressure
Constipation
Anarexol® is a registered trademark of Bleeth Laboratories.
@scumbag619...yeah man, i'll be around for a while. it's kinda busy here now, but i promise you, once it slows down, i'll either be in here or beating the bishop in the office bathroom.
it's nice to be back.
it's nice to be back.
Welcome back, Pfah. In celebration of your triumphant return the HCwDB, I offer you RAGING IOB. May your lack of productiveness make IT rue the day they conceded to your demands.
someone cue the Welcome Back Kotter theme for pfah.
we gonna kick it like it's 1978 up in here bitches!
we gonna kick it like it's 1978 up in here bitches!
Oh, and congratulations to you, Rusty. And by congratulations I mean a swift kick in the abdomen from Chick Norris.
I swear that chick looks like a 5 year old starving Ethiopian child. She has TINY boobs. His are bigger than hers.
I'll tell you man I'm nothing like these guys but i have a smoking japanese wife i met in japan while stationed there so i'm no rookie...well anyways i just want to rain on your parade and just say these all look like myspace/facebook pics so go ahead and look at your myspace/facebook and see what pics you have to compare to sharing with these girls...don't get me wrong spray on tan and eyebrow waxing is gay as fuck but that doesn't mean a tan and being in shape is all that wrong..and lets face some people (myself) just aren't photogenic so i hope you read this and it instead of being angry you get a little motivation look at yourself outside the box fix your faults and live your life to the potential. ok? and BTW somebody is making $$$ off you guys wasting time on this website. nothing's impossiblel
matter of fact i hate to say it i honestly hate that it's like this but because of tv,magazines,movies,models...etc....these are the girls we're naturally attracted and the girls that are willing to take the measures to make themselves this stereographic image are just as shallow as the douches on this site my vote comprimise with golds gym membership (fuck waxing eyebrows) and just put in work. or you could just play 9 16 22 24 57 20 on the powerball and buy you a rolls royce good look brother.
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