@plinky

I awoke this morning to find you rummaging around in my butthole

please get out
 

that guy looks like he made it halfway through an oven at auschwitz and was pulled out before any real damage was one. except for, of course, the charred flesh
 

I think his shirt reads "I love Crabs"
in which case It makes perfect sense

namer
 

At first I felt Crimson Ted was noted crap actor Ted McGinley, but now I'm thinking he's that other guy from Wham! Andrew now-working-at-a-london-starbucks Ridgeway.

Wake me up before you douche douche, Ted. Can't wait to see you on VH1's I "heart" crap from the 80's.
 

Ted fought his overwhelming urges to lick the plexi-glass holding the Sperm Art presentation.
 

I bet not viting for Ted makes you feel foolish now, huh?

Huh??

AV
 

There's more smoke in that club than in a White Sh... nah nevermind.
 

Crimson Ted declares his self love to the whole world.
 

DB1...you sure that's not Robert Downey Jr. playing Crimson Ted?
 

There's more smoke in that club than at the Raggae Sunsplash Music Festival.
 

There's more smoke in that club than a Michael Jackson Pepsi commercial.
 

Is he getting darker in each picture? Pretty soon he's gonna be black.
 

There's more smoke in that club than when Hickbag burns rubber in his 1987 Camaro.
 

There's more smoke in that club than Michael Phelps lungs.
 

There's more smoke in that club than in ME!
 

@bcs

I can't believe you went there with the Auschwitz reference, man. That's offensive. We should only reference Great White concerts when talking about burn victims.
 

What we are witnessing here is the burst of aura 14 nanoseconds before Xenu appears and smites Crabman for approaching the same crimson hue of the all powerful Xenu.


For Xenu will now wipe his taint with Crabman's fluffy hair since he's run out of Charmin.
 

The sad story of BostonDoucheBag

The Boston area is not exactly a mixed martial arts factory. So when a guy from Boston even gets an invite to fight in Florida, it's a big deal ... which, unfortunately, makes this story even sadder.

Friday night, BostonDoucheBag waited and waited for somebody to accpet his invite to fight and finally, it came from Ed Hardouchey. Hardouchey invited BostonDoucheBag to Florida to fight for $10,000 at the Douche Bag MMA Sports Performance Center. And when the time came to man up, accept the fight and impress everyone, BostonDoucheBag told everybody that he should retire before he even got started.

How's that for soul-crushing? A guy invites anybody to fight for big money, which is essentially an audition to make a career out of being a douchebag, and when he gets the offer, the first thing that happens is that tells the worlds that he has no chance to make a career out of $10,000 fights. That's like getting a scholarship to the Juilliard School of Dance right before your advisor takes a baseball bat to your knees.

Doctors performing a routine exam of BostonDoucheBag found an issue with one of BDB's heart valves and advised him that he should give up fighting, trashing other douchebags and even looking at hot chicks. The issues, according to his mother, aren't life-threatening, but they are career-killing. Even his mother grants that it's unlikely now that BDB will have a career in internet word fights or any other psychologically challenging activities.

It's a shame. By all accounts, he's a complete tool, so I'm sure he'll carve out a place for himself in the world. And of course, we all wish him luck with that.
 

www.onecrimsontedonecup.com


Frodo @11:12 - nice!
 

I'm still waiting for him to move to Philly so Douchetoevsky and I can bake him some cookies and welcome him to the city of Brotherly Love. And Douchetoevsky...I'm sorry if I keep misspelling your name.
 

"A list hott"? With 20-100 beer goggles maybe.......
 

really, when it comes down to it, don't we all love crap, and just want crap to love us back? i mean, for serious guys.
 

@ Archidoucheis-

ya know? things were just getting good..
I sure hope his 'retirement' isn't permanent




as far as the name goes, cut and paste.
i could never spell 'Archidoucheis" on my own....
 

BTW

@ rubbery gaping butthole-

are you any relation to one Elastic Snap Hole?
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Cheap
Relationships
Aren't
Permanent... GV is.
 

@ed

I will give you a Buffalo nickel, a button, and an "I Love Crap" T-shirt to have a slap fight with me.
 

First Ted rubbed the magic lamp. Then wispy smoke wafted out of the lamp's spout. Then a genie popped out and beat Ted to death with a rubbery gaping butthole.
 

ted loved crap so much that he decided to smear it all over his face and body. Thus the poo-tone.
 

@ Mr.White

Throw in a McCain/Palin bumper sticker and its on!
 

Ted loved crap so much he had his eyes removed and then would frequent hookers, pull out his prosthetics, and have them crap into his eye sockets.
 

"Tho . . . Do you think we look cute with our matching thunglathes? Yourth are awethome! Ohh! That guy hath a camera! Thould I make my tough guy face? Ok! OK! I WILL!"
 

It looks like someone Cleveland Steamered all over his face.
 

Ted loved crap so much that he molted, shed his human skin, and became one large piece of poo
 

Ed Hardouchey 11:22AM

Does this sound familiar to you?
 

Ted love crapped so much he had his coffin made of hyena dung.
 

ted loved crap so much he started an all-you-can-eat crap buffet.
 

Ted loved crap so much that he laid in the tanning bed at his house until he matched it, then he went to his backyard and ate some of what his dog crapped, then he went to his cat's litter box and ate some of that crap, then he went to BDB's house on a motor scooter and fought him for a Slap Chop, 6 ruples and a 4 inch dildo.
 

Ted loves crap so much he reads The Dirty.com every day.
 

ted loves crap so much he hides in BDB bunghole and collect the matter for a super-platter
 

Ted loves crap so much not only does he consume it, he prefers to be a lighter shade of poo
 

Ted harvested poo ever since he was a young lad. He really does love poo. In fact, he believes the pumice like poo to be a delicacy.

Really
 

Ted loves crap so much his toothbrush is made of poo.
 

Ted eats poo burgers
 

Crimson Ted is crap.
 

Ted loves crap so much that he doesn't even pay to eat out of the toilet at Mr. White's playpen on a Sunday morning.
 

Just off to one side is BDB with a similar t-shirt. But I = My on his.

Too far?
 

@Medusa

Speaking of playpens, you inspired me to arrange for an all out KY Jelly/Chocolate pudding pop jacuzzi to be installed in my suite in Philly...and remember I'll be the guy sporting the Inappropriate Convention Boner.('o')/
 

He loves himself.
 

holy crap! rikki rathman went emo! and took that chick from skid row with him!
 

The Tee-shirt originally said "I Have Crabs", a gift was his last girlfriend. He then inartfully erased the old writing with bleach and sketched in the Heart with Magic Markers from his remedial reading class.
 

Crimson Ted
Really
Admires
Poo
 

Mmm 15 year old Russian hooker
 

@ douchetoevsky 11:53

no relation

my butthole is bigger and badder
 

That chick is crap, and therefore he loves her.
 

Yeah, what's going on here with people taking photos through semen sample filters?

Maybe this is Ted effect, I heard what this will do to your CCDs.
 

no no no - the essence of douchebaggery is the vanity, the narcissicism.

He loves himself, because he is crap.
 

@Anon 12:14

Nice catch on the Ed Hardouchy reference
 

Ted lives in pooville
 

"A-List Hott"???? You can't even see her entire face. Judging by what is shown, D-List Hott would seem more worthy...
 

Ted's Hall of Scrote material, no doubt.
 

Douchey Luke Wilson?
 

That should read "I <3 Crab" by which he means his crimson crustacean brethren.
 

YOU LIKE CRAB DO YOU BITCH?! WE'LL HAVE YOU FISHING IN THE ICY BLACK WATERS OF THE BERING SEA IN NO TIME!

(apologies to the brave sailors of the Bering Sea if the notion of having this creature aboard the Cornelia Marie infuriates them)
 

"I PLINKY'S MOM'S LABIA CRAP"......?

That t-shirt makes no damn sense.
 

This guy looks like the kind of crap you take after eating a combination of crab and carrot cake, and the hott is a hipsterbag.
 

Not to mention the lightsocket 'do!!!
 

DB1, i would just like to thank you for making my day. i definitely LMAO after a stressful day. thanks again.
 

its lenny crapitz!!!
 

its lenny crapitz!!!