Sunglasses and Miami Vice scruff. Barely level 1, but still a douche.
 

Lucky bastard!
 

Yellow top..you are rodney king and my cock is a billy club
 

I want what they're having...
 

Nothing goes with cookies like a big ol' glass of milk.


Mmmm...milk
 

From left to right

Hot, hot, Flaming F-word, hot, hot, hot...
 

Way to go, Ryan. I have words of hatred or scorn. I do, however, want to get together with blondie on the left for an afternoon of cookies and tie-dying. And by cookies and tie-dying I mean light bondage and body shaving.
Yellow top in the middle can join us, too. I'd have naughty time with her.

Douchetros Douchetros Ghali
 

Holy pfah Batman!
 

Damnit, that should say NO words of hatred or scorn. I'm useless.
 

I would gladly eat yellow top's cookie.











Then I would eat her cookie.
 

Boobies!
 

My fantasy of being a staving child from Sierra Leone as Salma Hayek walks into the room has just come to an end.





Thank you second Hottie from the left.
 

I have a theory. No..... wait.... I meant rash.

VULVARINE
 

White bikini chick should probably stop eating cookies...
 

Dammit! He ruined the pic!
 

ill take the 3 on the left thank you..

and theres no need to be jealous of the dude, unless you're jealous of all the guys hes slept with.
 

Including you
 

Jailbait, Jailbait's Mom, Oh yes, no thanks, my goodness
 

Id fuck them with a baseball bat
 

Ahhh, Hot Chicks with Cookie Dough. I think I'm going to start a blog about it....
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

2nd from left has mastered the f#%k me eyes... She must have been in the advanced classes.
 

Cookie? Or cyanide pill a'la Heaven's Gate? Are they wearing purple Nikes? If not, I will gladly unite them in death with a fingerbanging while the bodies are still warm.

Except you, Ryan. It's the end of the world party and you forgot to bring your eyebrows AGAIN? Damnit!!!
 

I'm not jealous of the Ryan, for he is a 'mo.

If he were straight, his testiclites would have exploded in anticipation of making sweet boobie love to all those grand teetons.

That's what they call the cosmic shame.
 

Girls Scouts of the New Millenium
have new techniques when it comes to selling cookies.
 

completely photoshop'd.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Uh... Ryan eats more baby batter than cookie batter. He be homo.
 

As for the hotts... a left to right bang-a-thon from Monday to Friday. Far right and Miss Yellow get poked again on the weekend... on the bonus plan!
 

i would decapitate everyone in this picture for an intimate evening with yellow top. that is all
 

I'd like to stick my Keebler Elf in the three on the left's Fudge Shoppe.
 

That asshole needs to get out of the way. Here I am trying to look at all that's good with the world (boobs and cookies), and this bag has to go and fuck up my day.
 

That's a strange mermaid on the wall.

What's everyone else talking about? The microwave? The nice set-up of plates and glasses? The ingenious setting of the fire extinguisher right above the stove?

No? Then what?
 

I'm thinking nottadouche for Ryan. But I loooove all the cookies he's surrounded with. And by cookies I mean boobies.
 

what's up with the gray elipse around this guys crotch? Looks like someone was trying to censor his ISSB (inappropriate swim suit boner), but I dunno. Unless there is a group of guys across from this bag in their bathing suits I doubt he has one.

Well enough talk about cock. Back to the splendid White Hooters perched on Ryan's soldiers.
 

*Shoulders...not soldiers.
 

Really
Yellow-top,
Abandon
Nutgobbler
 

Nottadouche, so what if he doesn't shave on the weekends and has sunglasses.

I also doubt he is gay, as there is no evidence supporting such a claim.

Again, good for Ryan.
 

seriously Medula....what the fuck happened to his eyebrows???



Ryan gets a big ole nottadouche pass from me.

i hope this guy drained his scrotum that night in a magnificent bukkake party.

rock on Ryan. you are a-ok with me.

i can't WAIT for summertime.

anyone else with me?
 

additionally, nice mermaid.
 

we used to play "Ookie Cookie" back in college. a bunch of us would stand around an oreo and circle jerk onto it. the last man standing who doesn't cum has to...you guessed it...eat the cookie.
 

kidding of course...

i never went to college. it was in middle school.
 

and it was an EL Fudge
 

Awww, poor guy. He's just gay. Leave him alone.
 

This is twice today that I have been compelled to issue a pass.






I feel cheated somehow.
 

@bcs

I was gonna make some comment about fudge covering the cookies, but I puked on my keyboard.

Where should I send the bill?
 

Sadly, Ryan tasted not of the poonness in that room that day, nor any day. If he'd had the slightest inkling that any of those taut temptresses would be lubing his tube he'd be a raging hormonally charged asswipe in front of everyone and the camera.


At least, I would be.









Far left, I'd do the time.
 

He's not a douche. Just a lucky, lucky bastard.
 

... and then that bald-headed guy walked into the room, told them to put their Nikes on and wait for the mother ship.
 

dammit, i just can't really bring myself to hate ryan and his pulling out of his poop tooth.
 

TOTAL DOUCHE! Are you blind to the half profile pose, doucheface, and the greasy cock and balls forehead?
 

Ryan:

Teach Us.
 

I can't really get mad at Mark the Masters student from Santa Cruz eating cookies with some undergrad sorority hotts
 

too..
much..
hott..
penis..
cannot..
contain..
itself..
 

Damn Chris Elliot can pull for a poufter. Can I get away with poufter or am I too over the pond to get gangsta UK style?

Multi-colored mammaries
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the goo I left behind
Goo we gave to one another
For the way we were


Did I really just bust out Streisand? Do I qualify as a gay now? I gotta stop watching fucking Yentl. Oh my god I'm a gay Jewish guy!! Or as my Yiddish grandmother calls me a Faygelah. Come to think of it I think Flyteeth called me that once. Teeth are you a Faygelah too? Call me.
 

Sock get your ass in the pfah thread pronto!
 

I'd amputate my left arm with a swiss army knife fish scaling tool for a chance to see the mirror left bikini blond stands naked in front of every day.

I'd take the right off with a pair of nail clippers to actually see her naked.

Good G-d, check out those measuring spoons!
 

alright gang I'm off again... to the Crescent City & Mardi Gras

fire up the gumbo pot, DarkSock, gonna get my douche on in gran mal fashion!


to the bar!

see y'all next week with a giant hangover
 

These women: they are all just beautiful.

Ryan is either feigning a kind of Austin-Powersesque foppishness, or is a fop, but not so douchey. Of all the things a douchebag could conceivably be doing in this picture, he is doing none of them.

Having said that, if he is gay, then he is a douche because the only reason to take a picture like this if you're gay is to piss off us more traditionally oriented types.

--VS
 

To whomever submitted this photo:



LINKS.

NOW.



Really, I just want to see if they cleaned up all the "cookie dough."
 

Dick Palmer and his five friends.
 

@ doomfist- if sunglasses (not worn inside i might add) and scruff make you a douche then slap me up and call me douchey.

i say good job ryan, you fucking win this round. but you didn't have to taunt me.
 

Dude kinda looks like Tucker Max....
 

Yellow Top wears white Keds and pink pom-pom ankle sockies during sex.
 

@D BAGIGNS

I THINK YOURER CONFUSNG FAYGELAH WITH FAGATOH! ITS ALL RIGT MAN!
 

I'm digging the wandering eye on blondie number four. If we're baking chocolate cookies then I'll bring the baby batter.
 

i want to stick my cookie dough in bikini broads easy bake oven
 

yellow top.
 

Yeah, this is totally a photoshop job, i'm surprised you guys aren't seeing it.
 

Well if it's photoshopped, then fucking photoshop me into that picture, Mr. Wizard. Can't a man dream?
 

if i were to photoshop myself into this picture it'd be with my head nestled gently between yellows cantaloupes
 

while the male winner of the Who Can Suck Cock Best competition has been chosen, the female side is far from finished.

if i have to be a judge, however, i would hand the win to yellow top blondie. and by award, i mean a lot of it - in all of her orifices.
 

L to R...

Jailbait
MOM?
WTF!!??
Yes please
More Jailbait
One non blond




To Jailbait: I understand you. You can use my pole, I meen pool anyday. I know 8TH. grade is difficult, just habg out here...
 

by the by, i suspect that DB1 suspended limericks this week because of Vinny Scumbaglia's last comment in the last limerick thread, to say the least.

hey, somebody has to mourn the loss of limerick days - whether it's for a week or... indefinitely.
 

He a douche because he is making the same face as the chicks!
 

Ryan may be "nottadouche" but he certainly "isaghey".
 

I keep clicking on the pic to drool over the quality tittage. mmmm.. . . . . . tittage *gargle gargle gargle*
 

I remember when Limerick Wednesday made it's comeback. Apparently it had disappeared for quite some time before I was on here. But I don't ever remember it being every Wednesday regardless. And if it goes away again just because some people aren't following the pattern exactly, well then that's just lame. I mean, sure some of them were just way off, but it is a hard style to write in. But mostly, who really cares. Haikus are easy to write, and they continue to dominate every Friday.
 

Ah, to be followed by a small acapella group of beach wear clad hotts. You're living the dream, Ryan. Props. How many props, you might ask? All of the props. All of them.
 

This fruitcake definitely baked the cookies for his gurrrlfriends!

Signs he's gay? The descending martini glasses, the neatly stacked dishes, the mermaid thingy, and on him... that, "I swallow the pole" look.

I'd hope, surrounded by all that genuine hott-ness, that he'd at least feel a stirring toward heterosexuality, not just hanging out with them so they can rate people's tastes on some HGTV homeseller show.
 

sorry if i'm stating the obvious but this looks like a holiday apartment, somewhere in the med i'd say.

i think he's their holiday rep (and therefore probably gay), i least i hope he's gay, otherwise i shall go quite insane.

luckeeeyy baaaastid.
 

Nottadouche, but men who put their sunglasses up on their heads like that make me think one thing -- "kill". Possibly because putting your sunglasses up on your head like that MAKES YOU A DOUCHE.
 

An hour later Grandma shuffled her slippered feet into the kitchen and shouted, "Who the fuck ate all my chocolate laxatives?!?"
 

1. Definitely: notadouche. Lazy, and a bit of a dork, but hey - I'm lazy and a bit of a dork.
2. The girls are luscious. The one at far left in the Daisy Dukes looks under-age. They all bring new meaning to "Cookie Puss".
 

@ Boston D-Bag

Hilarious.

@ Medusa

The next batch of Hale-Boppers will be wearing Snuggies. Mark my words.

@ bcs

I've found that homemade shortbread pairs nicely.
 

And I'd like to join these ladies for a six-way. And by "six-way" I mean "cream my jeans then faint."
 

i'll bet all their poo-poo is chocolate and all their wee-wee is sparkling lemonade.

apart, that is, from the central homosexual who i actually think is burt from sesame street who has just shaved his enormous eyebrows for everyone to feast on.

(n.b. i have nothing against homosexuals, some of my best friends are republicans)
 

@ Troy

Where have you been? (the abridged version please)
 

I have the sneaking suspicion that behind their backs are many sharp objects.
 

Ryan is not a douche. I would be his BF and hang with him all the time for a chance to catch some of that overflow and by overflow I mean boobies, lots of boobies.
 

Troy probably needed a break from your sucky ass
 

Nice set of hangers on that yellow bikini slut.
 

Some of you homophobic mouth-breathers are just sad. Because Ryan's got 10 more boobs jiggling in his kitchen than you do, therefore he must be gay?

You just can't handle the fact that there's a finite amount of hott in the world, and Ryan's got yours.
 

@ Portlandouche

Before you signed on to blog did you read the paragraphs about "satire" and "mocking?"

Take the dildo out of your ass and lighten up.
 

Nottadouche, Ryan, but do you have to be so femmy when you eat your cookie?

ps I hate you.
 

It is Dieter, sie hottest cookie model in Western Bavaria. Oh Dieter, what sort of crispy confection will you whore out next with your white hot sexual heat?

Dieter, so hot right now, Dieter.
 

@ haber

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
 

Mocking doesn't need to include homophobia. I think DB1 sets a pretty good example.
 

agreed, not a douche. This picture makes me wish I was a hungry baby.
 

notadouche cuz he's gay.
 

yeah this guy is not a threat to bang any of these girls, not that you any of them are low enough mileage to get under the cap of a standard lease agreement anyway.
i would get all 5 naked and in a pile on the bed, dive on top and not even care which hole crack crevice or space between body parts provided me with friction.
 

@portlandouche

I'm not homophobic. I have friends who are gay. But that doesn't mean that I can't call someone gay. There are certain qualities that you can generally pick up on with a guy to know if he's gay. Not always, but sometimes. Also, gay guys can and will be found around girls, and sometimes they can be a bit eccentric in their choice of clothing/hair style/etc. Things that would otherwise constitute him as a douchebag. Now, I'm in the school of thought that even gay guys can be douchebags. But, because the premise of the website is "look at these douchebags stealing all the suckle thigh from us, let's mock them", it is sometimes necessary to call someone out on their homosexuality so there isn't any unwarranted animosity towards the guy in the picture. With this photo, with the face he's making, the lack of other guys in the photo, and the fact that the apartment looks like its even more well decorated than a woman could achieve would make me think that this guy is gay. Now, don't get in a hissy about me making the assumption that all homosexuals are interior decorators. Some of them can be just as sloppy as the rest of us. But, in my experience, if the homosexual is more feminine (such as one of the gay guys that hangs out with all his girlfriends), than they are generally more fashion savvy and tend to have better skills in the decorating field. Don't ask me why, but it's not like something like that is news. Hence shows like queer eye for the straight guy, and things like that.

Now, of course he could not be gay. It's not unlikely that it's just some dude posing funny for the camera surrounded by a bunch of hot girls while on vacation in Florida. But assuming that he is homosexual because of what we see isn't homophobic. Saying "I hate gays/kill the gays/god hates gays" or any other ridiculous shit like that would be. So, sorry if you are offended by people thinking certain 'bags on this site may actually just be homosexual, but please don't call me homophobic. Let's just have fun here alright?
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

@ Archidoucheis

Yeah... you tell him.

@ Portlandouche

Just email DB1 and tell him that you .. errr the guy in the photo wants to have his picture taken down... because he is gay.
 

He is gay, not hard to see.

May still be a douche.
 

I agree hes a fag and possibley a douche but mostly gay
 

Mr. Belvadouche -
"Yellow top..you are rodney king and my cock is a billy club" - genius


All I know is, I wish I was 17 again. Them's some ssssssssmokin' sisters there....oh my imagination cup runneth over.....
 

Out here in The Bay Area, We call cookies hot ass BZ's however, since there is a scary childmolester like douchbag in the middle, these are cookie DoH-Hoes!
 

@portlandouche...

Zip it. Homo.
 

Why does it feel like Portlandouche dumped an entire load of Portland cement on this blog?

Some cookies come out of the oven hard as rocks and likely to break a tooth. Others, soft as warm Mackinac fudge. Choose your style and stick with it. Skip the portions of the BLOG that are not your cup of tea and comment on the ones that are.

SIMPLE, ISN'T IT???!!!
 

Hell, I got boobs in my kitchen for ages. And I still think Ryan's gay.
 

Notadouche, I'm afraid.
Asswipe for blocking view of yellow bikini bottom, ..but, notadouche.
 

That gesture the fact that he's still competing with the women in the photo still makes him a douche, but he's just a level one bag.
 

NOTADOUCHE
 

Why is this guy even looking at the camera?
 

there are so many things about this picture that upset me.