your socks smell like gouda and your ass smells like semen DB1
 

Only a true freak would get in close enough to smell these things BDB. You're like a homo-bloodhound you are.

On a more serious note; are John and Jen pushing Viagra now? By the looks of Johns picks, It would be safe to assume that erectile dysfunction has taken it's toll on their relationship.

...And by 'toll' I mean fee to move on to the next level Jen...slobbery seconds with yours truly.
 

I see what you did there.
 

And yet looking at this picture a '70's jingle pops into my head:

"I wish I was Johnny Mayer's Weiner..."
 

It's in the monologue or right after.
 

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Again, thank me later..here you guys go
 

After measuring, Jen realizes that the new 3" penis pump is simply too large to get a good suction on John. She elects to use her pinky finger to 'rub one out'. After which she will enjoy a tasty cig. Momma always warned her about these situations.
 

Anistonia nervosa is a psychological disease affecting the self-image of gorgeous women, who suffer from the belief that the only partners they can have are pretentious douchebags.

They are mostly immmune to bleeth infections, which makes these relationships all the more agonizing to witness.

That said, being John Mayer's wiener could be an interesting experience, as long as you don't mind being tiny and cold most of the time and occasionally letting the lead singer from Maroon 5 wrap his lips around you and annoyingly flick you with his tongue.
 

I stole john mayers guitar

guess where i hid it?

hehehe
 

He's using the wine decanter to ice his balls down while she points and measures simultaneously and in complete disbelief.
 

YoU pEopLe aRe sicK, DEmented and TwiSTed
 

@ DarkSock 7:46

Why didn't you wake me up? You started posting without me! Well what's done is done. Fetch me some coffee bitch.
 

@ babagooduche

I know how you guys love to use big words and i know bucket was probably too dumb of a word for you to throw in that sentence but in no way is that a decanter, its simply a wine bucket. A decanter is simply a large carafe used to aerate wine.
 

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@BostonDoucheBag

Is that really you in your avatar?
Duuuuuuuude, you might want to re-think your challenge to fight people. You weigh about a buck-fifty at best, soaking wet holding a bag of K-Y jelly slicked chihuahuas.

I know size doesn't really matter - at least that's what women tell you - but you need to eat something, stop tootin' nose candy, and stop pounding the wicked Sammy Adams you wicked brah-ski.
 

@ rubbery gaping butthole

[muffled] lht mmmmmmmhhhh oht!!
 

@fake boston bag

I finally feel liberated after airing all my dirty laundry,and you have to come in with your fake blog account and tarnish everything i have said.

STOP IT! I love swallowing cock and everyone in Beantown will soon know it.

Now, if you will excuse me I have a lunch date.
 

^^ 175 lbs. good thing you don't guess peoples weight for a living, i'm in the gym 5 days a week, I have been boxing for 6 years and fighting MMA for 4 1/2 I think I can hold my own.
 

@plinky

Hello? Plinky? is that you?

ohh! you silly little bugger! get out of my butthole!!
 

@Bosotonbag 8:59

you can spend 5 days a week in my gaping butthole?
 

@ BostonDoucheBag

Atta boy. I'm casting my vote now for you to be hcwd.com's "pet."
Sorry pfah.


@ rubbery gaping butthole

Hmmm, I just found Jimmy Hoffa.
 

@BDB

'I'll call it a bucket to appease the schmucket'.

Do you know what a schmuck is Boston?

Why don't you look up the true Yiddish meaning of the word, not just the shallow Wiki version?

...You schmuck...
 

my blood pressure is through the roof right now, so this is my last post here ever...I get too worked up, so i call a truce, GL in your future endeavors people. It was a pleasure going back and forth with you guys

BdB
 

I can't risk another heart attack by bickering back and forth...

GOD SPEED ALL!

:I'd respectfully ask that you keep the mocking of my heart problems to a minimum:
 

I've wondered what my sexuality might be, but I've never wondered whether it was acceptable or not. Anyway, who really cares whether I'm gay or straight?

I just want to dance!
 

Good call real BDB. Go easy and lay off the alcohol, it's bad for the BP in the long haul.

Nothing on the internet is worth dying over.
 

FUCK YOU GUYS!!! I fooled all of you! Here I am.

Ram your fucking throbbing cock in my ear and gently flick my beans....

HEAR ME ROAR BEANTOWN!!!!!!!!!!
 

"I have been boxing for 6 years and fighting MMA for 4 1/2 I think I can hold my own."

Yeah, EVERYONE on the Internet can claim that. I have been boxing for 8 years and fighting MMA for 6 years! See?

But soon you'll be holding your own chest if you keep letting everyone get to you. Grow the fuck up already.
 

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I have been holding my own in my right hand (and occasionally my left hand) since I was a teen.

Its much better when somebody else hold's mine though.

(damn router lag... sorry for the deletes)
 

STOP BULLYING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BDB
 

Jen's body is a Douchebagland
 

BTW

BDB is the best performance art piece ever!
 

The ex- Mrs. Hardouchey was on the "Mayercraft Carrier" cruise to the Bahamas last year when Mayer got hammered and wore "the Boarat" on the ship.

Even though she is a big fan of the douchebag, she said it was TMI for her or her girlfriends to see.

God only knows how much GV was spread by him on that cruise.
 

@ douchetoevsky

I must concur. Jen's morphing in to a MILF-Hott at best. Soon she'll be a not-Hot McFlabberwacky joining the likes of R. Welch, J. Fonda and S. MacLaine.
 

Well played on the preemptive douchestrike, Mayerbag: Still, we shall leave you to hoist on your own petard.

Um...that means, do THIS...
 

Wow Zen Wizard, thank you! I always thought it was some nautical anachronism.

Now I know. And knowing is half the battle.
 

John Mayer fills me with so much rage that I've been driven to make my first post here. I've not commented on DD, Fishslap, or even the horrific SDTS, but I swear John Mayer is a herpes lesion on the ballsack of humanity. I think I would prefer to lick a truck-stop toilet seat than breathe the same air that he has. Jeebus.
 

I've been boxing for 98 years and fighting MMA for 67. Now let me get my walker and I'll kick your ass for $10,000.
 

@Gaijindouche: -Did you know the inventor of the Guillotine was almost beheaded with his own invention during the Reign of Terror; and that a distant cousin, also named Guillotin, was?
 

I'll just leave this right here... http://dheydon.posterous.com/zoolander-to-the-extreme
 

The Mr. Douchebag pic is actually quite profound. First of, you'll notice that as the douchebag is called out, people are starting to adopt the term. But they do not understand the douchebag in its living breathing form, but only in various abstract "tags" for their minds have never risen above the tie to fashion that has ruled their lives.

But it goes deeper. I've mentioned this before, but it signals that WE are now the locus of cultural change, and others react to US. We constantly see commercials about "do what the celebrities do." And what to the celebrities do? Mimic US.

So raise a glass, my fellow taggers, soon that glorious suckle thigh shall find its proper place as rightfully ours once again. And the gods shall smile upon a new world order.
 

I read this post through and through and the only words I can come up with are "butt munch." I'm a jackass.
 

BDB's character must the creation of a HCwDB OG regular.
The last time this site gained an influx of homophobic meatheads was after it was highlighted by the erudite boston Barstool site.
Now, Fox News has brought the same ilk.
This clever regular has used this 'tool' as a parallel between the now and then.
And if you read between the lines, there are traderbags.
...and boobies.
 

May John Mayer's skull become a spittoon in a Leather bar in Biloxi.
 

@ Medusa:

That woulda been Joey's on the Beach, or for the more laid back erudite gay gentlemen it would have been The Golden Turtle; both victims of that skank Katrina.

Or so I was told.
 

Kim Jong Il also thinks that he wins PR brownie points if he does some "self-deprecating" humor once in a while.

just saying.
 

JM, a douche, but not a bag. Bags don't have talent to speak of, if JM wanted to cut his pop teen idol shit and focus on being a guitar player and only a guitar player he could be put in the pantheon of the greats, no bag out there could have the same said for them.
 

On Conan's second to last show on Thurs, Will Arnette tells Conan he deserves a Douchie Award.

With Conan responding something to the effect "hey, that's my first Douchie Award"

If it were only that easy Conan...
 

Who really gives a rat's ass if someone boxes or claims to know that douchey MMA crap. I have guns. I win.
 

While off topic, who really gives a shit about Jennifer Aniston? She was the least attractive of the "Friends" chicks, more so than David Schwimmer.

Aniston and Mayerbag deserve each other. Maybe they'll have average looking children together.