So, when did Creature start sending in letters to DB1 under the moniker: B, Phd?
 

I can only hope that I'm the kind of douchebag that's boning a 20-year-old sorority hott when I'm 50. I'll buy her all the Ugg-ly boots and Natty Lite she wants.
 

There's no way Creaturewrote that letter. Yeah he mispelled "forty" but the syntax and grammar were clear as crystal.
 

I am almost threety!
 

When Plinky was 20, he routinely banged 40 year old men...

... not that there's anything wrong with that.
 

I'm over fourty and I routinely date twentysomethings .....

Translation: And I know to ask "Are you a cop?" first.
 

i got over feifty once.



i put some medicated cream on it, and it got better.
 

Score one for the guy in the pic. The annual potlatch is a good place to meet ladies.
 

@ Crucial 9:17am

You should have stopped with the haikus today. Your legacy is now damaged.

But I still like you in a monitor-to-monitor sort of way.
 

I LOVE YOUNG HOTTS. The only problem with this situation....

Hey Nineteen....
 

When my customers/buddies over forty say they have a new girlfriend and that she's in her 20's , outwardly I say "That's nice".

Inwardly I'm thinking two things;

1) "Niiiiiiiiiiiice, banging some fresh stuff, awesome , dude!"

2) "What the fuck is wrong with her? Hmm? She have daddy issues or what?"




BTW, as one of the senior-in-age regs here, no way in hell would I want to play the games necessary to date a club partying Bleeth. I'll take a 30+ year old with her bullshit days behind her over some hard body bubblehead anytime/everytime.
 

@ Ed Hardouchey

That was good stuff. Funny shit.
I remember those tv's.
 

@ Vin Douchal

Dude don't lie; you'd settle for a tuna sandwich these days.
 

When I eat a tuna sandwich, I close my eyes, spread the bread a little , and lick it out a little at a time.

Reminds of the time I ate out the nurse that contracted chlamydia from a patient..... when I saw her shaved beaver I should have asked if it was for a clinical reason ...
 

HEY Plinky,

E-mail me your address : vindouchal@gmail .
 

Ok, Dr. Something-other-than-English, what automatically makes you a douchebag is appearing in public like Bela Lugosi here, who is quite visibly dead. You want to know who my hero is? Dave Cummings. A guy who looks like Hank Hill's dad Cotton who makes a living boning 20somethings. And he does it without any douchebag aroma or heavy handed misogyny. Just an old guy with petrified wood boning empty-headed little juice purses.

There's a picture of him on the "goals" page of my retirement portfolio.
 

@vin, re: reverse daddy issues

A while back I stumbled across a blog that purported to be by a gal who turned tricks to pay for college. (Yeah, I took it with a grain of salt, but the writing was really good and had a lot of depth you wouldn't normally get in a fakey, bad erotica site-style.)

One of her posts was about how she charged by the "pop" instead of by time, which could be a problem when Johns were able to delay gratification for pornstar amounts of time. She claimed that whispering, "Fuck me, daddy," was one of her most surefire ways to provoke an imminent climax.

Take from that what you will.
 

No I didn't send this in. But I can say that's why academe isn't a bad gig. I get older and the all the womens stay young.

Now back to my favorite film series "She's Half My Age"...[unzip]
 

@Plinky,

Fine. I'm packing up my toys and moving to the cooler sandbox on the other side of the playground anyways.

And by 'cooler sandbox,' I mean thedirty.


And by 'thedirty,' I mean goatfuckerswithdaddyissues.com.
 

Shouldn't that guy get back to his job? There's somebody at Gomez Addams' door...
 

Niles stood stoically in the background, paralyzed by his peripheral view of Dinah’s right hand, as she innocently tugged upon her freshly unfurled, post-op frankfurter, while her pals preened for the camera.
 

Whoa, whoa whoa..."PhD" and you spell "forty" as "fourty"?

I hope it's not Theology because I haven't met a Jew that spent "fourty" nights in a desert...
 

Dear "B" -

YES.

Sincerely, dB
 

judging by the pic, obama has opened the doors at gitmo already and hadji has developed a taste for chunky.
 

i can't say too much here. my wife is 13 years my junior.
 

Ernie Johnson turned his flabbergasted head away in shame, as TNT unveiled its replacement NBA analyst team.
 

and hey, where's the hotts in this picture? i only see a spiky-haired meth addict, two brunette wildebeasts, and a chubby guy looking for the buffet.
 

Millionaire Matchmaker, a Bravo TV show, had a compelling storyline that attracted my attention so I checked it out:

Super hot 40-something year old mother of a little girl with a very successful company looking for love/husband/family.

First of all, heres a gal that obviously isn't in bars looking for mates. Good. Successful. Good. Really attractive. Good. Up to this point in her life what has she been doing wrong? Bad lay? Stinky pussy? Drive to succeed overpowering her mating instinct?


After 20 minutes of watching this dreck they finally show a face to face with the gal. The Matchmaker tells her to hide her age by straightening her hair and pushing up her boobs.

Turns out this gal had the baby with an ex-boyfriend, just to have a child, and she didn't want to be with him because he was "too old". She wants a guy that looks like Brad Pitt or George Clooney.

The matchmaker gal follows up by saying she wants to help her because her baby needs a father "IT'S never had.


It? She calls a little girl "it"? I went back to Fox News at that point.
 

You old fucks need to stay away from my womens. Waving your steady jobs, houses, and 401ks in their faces. Of course they only want you for the security. What'd you think? They like your flaccid wiener? Old mother fuckers.







That being said...When I'm 40, and if I'm single, I'd TOTALLY be trying to nail 20-somethings. With their smooth skin, gullibility, love of alcohol, and breastisis that still have the will to defy gravity.
 

Perhaps I just have major daddy issues, but old guys hitting on me creeps me THE FUCK out. Don't get me wrong, I like an older guy, but the furthest I've gone was dating a guy 6 years my senior. I could push it into their 30s but after that it just doesn't do it for me. It goes from being attractively pervy, to just creepy pervy at about the 38-39+ mark unless you really really hit it off with someone. I don't think hitting on the youngins makes you a douchebag, but you're toying with the possibility of arrest.
 

Hmmm...adding the Ph.D. to his anonymous email signature certainly makes him a d-bag.
 

Plinky is never creeped-out when 37+ aged men hit on him.


ask Darksock.
 

obviously not a PhD in spellcheck
 

The age difference doesn't make you a douche, but rest assured you are one.
 

Greetings all, long-time lurker and first time poster here.

This discussion on robbing the cradle and lusting after young bleeths inspired a post on virtual douchebaggery .

Carry on fellow 'baghunters. Your work in ridding our culture of unchecked doucheousness does not go unnoticed.

Cheers DB1 et al.!
 

@vin

Awesome clip, and by "awesome," I mean it would make Santa himself vomit with rage.

This is kind of Troy's territory, but I'll step on it anyway: That chick (and the matchmaker) are 99.5% of what's wrong with America. People want what they want, even if "the thing" they want is another human being, and they take it regardless of how it affects anyone else. I dream of a place where people only had kids because they wanted KIDS, not fashion accessories, and then put even a modicum of effort into raising them, instead of producing, at best, another miserable adult, or at worst, a sociopath.

Also, the hardest thing to do in America is to be a single parent? Even if you live in some plastic mansion in LA and make multiple millions a year? That's harder than, I don't know, being without healthcare or homeless?

Fuck that SLAPWHOAR, as Flyteeth might say. Fuck that SLAPWHOAR and her matchmaker. Fuck them with a splintery piece of wood covered with feces and small pox.
 

@ pfah

That's weird. Today is my 37th birthday. (Oh boy I opened up that can of worms)

@ Vin Douchal

Done. Check your email.

@ Crucial Head

That's not even funny. Thedirty.com is the Alcatraz of internet comedy sites.


@ pfah (again)

You are the wind beneath my wings.
 

A woman's perspective, if you will....Although "ramapaging cunt-bag" isn't quite a woman, but I do have the plumbing, so that counts for something, right?

For starters, I declare shenannigans on the letter. Call it intuition. But, pretending it's legit, I'll reply.

To answer your question, B...In a word, No. Not in and of itself.

However...the following things that one does in order to attain half-your-age-snapper DO qualify you for douchedom:

1. Tanning, waxing, bleaching and wearing clothes/hairstyles meant for a 20-something boy. Especially since you claim to be a PhD, you better be rocking the sexy doctor/professor look or you're totally wasting it.

2. Being pissed off when it turns out she can't get her shit together, is using you for money or prestige or can't hold an interesting conversation.

3. Feeling rejected when she tells you you're a boring old coot.

As the former twenty-something bride of a forty-something man, I can assure you, what you're doing is not douchey. However, the following WILL happen, despite what you tell yourself. I'm not the only one who will say this, it happens thousands of times, every day, all over the world, mark my words. There are zillions of lawyers and therapists and cops who can back this up for me...

When you begin to struggle with your weight/keeping up your condition, when you start to get a little worn out from work and going out on the town every night becomes a chore, when you're not popping rock-hard ragers three times a night, or three times a week, for that matter, she will get frustrated and bored and move on to the next exciting thing that "takes care of her".

Not trying to be an asshole, just telling it like it is. I used to have a saying in my early 20s: "You must be at least 36 to ride this ride." Seeing the same story play out time after time after time with these guys made me realize that it's bound for disaster. And now that I'm almost 35, an "older man" is in his fifties. Witty and wonderful, they are, but I'm nowhere near their mindset. And now that I write my own ticket, I don't need to rely on a Daddy-man to take care of me, so the whole thing would be an exercise in futility, and I'm sticking to guys my own age now.

So, B., enjoy, but take it for what it's worth. Date them, screw them, have a good time, but it's like trying on shoes without having money to buy them. Looks nice, gives ya a thrill, but don't plan on taking them home for keeps.

Oh, and one more thing....not using your name, but mentioning the fact that you have a PhD?

DOUCHEBAG!
 

Happy Birthday Plinky!

I hope your mom saved a few crumbs from your cake in the folds of her cavernous jowls.

I'll pour a shot of bourbon in your honor at beer thirty.
 

That spelling of "fourty" is not incorrect. It's the UK spelling, which is also the standard in Canada

That particular flavour of spelling is rumoured to have existed for ages before the Americans dishonoured their linguistic past by dropping the "u". My favourite part is, now those who rigourously ahdere to the traditional behaviour are accused of misspelling. Just savour the irony.

So don't harbour resentment against this guy for spelling "fourty" the way it should be spelled.
 

@ Plinky

Happy fucking birthday!

Spanking?

No?

Ok.
 

Good post DB1.
 

@medusa

rampaging?

shenanigans
 

@ Plinky

Are you sure?
 

@Emasturbate 10:41


Fuck the UK.
 

Spell Nazi

Yeah. You got me.

So what are you gonna do about it?

Go on. I can take it.
 

@ Spell Nazi

Send me back to school. I'll learn, Sir. I promise.
 

Aaaaaaand...with that, time for a cold shower and a hot coffee. Ta!
 

I'd let MO hit on me any time. And by hit on me, I mean haunt my nights with the sound of squeeking latex and the fear of 6" heels digging into my back when she comes to serve me cupcakes.
 

Mr White:

I'm in Canada, and Hulu doesn't work here. Fucking parochial shitbag Merkins on the loose. As usual.

Still, your points are well taken and require no video documentary support.
People today are fucking stupid selfish SLAPwhateverItIsThatFlyteethSays.

Ashfish:

I'm 50. And I teach in a university that is filled with Lovely Young Women. I don't hit on them because-

a: I'm married and happily so and

b: believe me, it works both ways.

She's hott. she snaps her gum and flings her hair back. she's hott. She can't list all the Prime Ministers since WW2. she's hott... She can't name all the capital cities of provinces in Canada. she's hott? she thinks the Hills is really cool. She's warm... She thinks coldplay totally rocks. she's a dumbass... she thinks movies made before she was born are boring and stupid. she's repulsive.

So, while they can be easy on the eyes, they're usually not worth the time of day. They think I'm just some crusty old geezer know it all, a lech ogling their every little jiggle and giggle. On the other hand, I *know* they're stupid, ignorant, and insecure. They *think* I lust after them, but they think that because they're vain, self-absorbed, dullwitted bleeths.

They're oh so pretty oh so pretty... they're VACANT! And I don't care...
 

Happy Birthday Plinky, and let me just say that your mom's so fat her queef has it's own Coriolis Effect.
 

Nice Sex Pistols reference Troy.
 

Alright guys and gals. I'm off to Philly to catch the Flyers game. Than it's spring break motha fuckas! And I'm not doing a damn thing, so see you all on Sunday.
 

@ Medusa

Yeah I'll skip the spankings this year but the baby oil / trampoline thing we did that one year with a riding crop would be nice.

@ Crucial


Her jowel's are that way from fellating blue whales.
 

@ pfah

You're wife looks (rowr) grrrrrrrreat! for 49.
 

Dating young chicks doesn't make you a douche. Dating ugly young chicks makes you a loser. I'd rather be banging good looking MILFs than those chubby, semi-retarded, skanks.
 

@ crucial 10:40


I didn't skip you. Too busy shucking it.
 

@Emasculate

Actually the correct spelling is feowertig. But sadly few people speak proper Old English these days. They accept that language has moved on and is defined, in the case of Modern English, by how it is used. Thus those who adhere to the old spellings are trying to make English like French - and Academy defined language rather than the living, evolving language it actually is. So Forty it is because that is how it is taught and used in the UK.
 

To prove to the world he wasn't gay, Tad updated his Facebook photo with the Wildabeest sisters, Ox-ana and Bull-aria.
 

@ Plinky

HBD! I'll hold off on having BDB kick your ass until tomorrow...
 

Jeeze, guys, you don't want to talk to the little tramps. That's an exercise in intellectual masochism. I just want them to move their asses while I get my nut.
 

...language has moved on and is defined, in the case of Modern English, by how it is used

Yes, and how it is used varies from one country to the next, so stop acting like the US version is the "correct" one to use. Many English-speaking countries use the UK variants, and for them it is just as "correct".
 

@photo: Wow! -I was unaware the 1-Armed Man from "The Fugitive" and Lou Ferrigno had a son together.

@Plinky: Happy Birthday!


@B: It depends on the girl. For some, even a few years is an issue. Otherwise, there Are clever, reasonably sophisticated chicks in Every age bracket. It also depends more on your presentation skills and limiting beliefs than you might think.

I know a guy who's a total freaking pimp at like ~60; he's the coolest, funniest, best conversationalist you could imagine.

Age is just a number. You are only as old as you feel.

Rage against the Douching of the Light!!!!!
 

@Wonky:

Thanks for the shout-out.. but for the record, I'm 32 not 60.

And I prefer the term John, not pimp.

heh.
 

B,

if that's you in the picture, then yes by appearance you are a douche, but not by association.
 

@ Pfah:

You are the wind beneath my arse
 

Anytime you try to date someone that is A) Half your age, or B) young enough to be your daughter, you are a fucking douchebag. A shitbag. A predator. A perv. Looking is one thing. Talking about it, also. Actively trying to hit it? Gross.

I have to say, once you hit about mid-30’s, you are supposed to learn by then. Let’s see….do I want a young hottie, enthusiastic but not fully trained about sex, looking for the sugar daddy to pay for her spoiled life and implants, with more energy than I care to keep up with, and stories that all start with, “when I was in my Econ I (Trig/Basket Weaving/Anatomy) class…”, or would I rather have a WOMAN, mebbe a few pounds heavier but infinitely trained as to what she wants in bed and how to achieve it, has her own job and finances and hobbies, willing to cook for a man, and able to hold an experienced, intelligent conversation?

I imagine the answer says a lot about the guy.
 

Yes, and how it is used varies from one country to the next, so stop acting like the US version is the "correct" one to use
Not going to get into a pissing match over this. But as a Brit who has almost never seen the 'UK' variant used here except by mistake...

Fourty is not the modern UK common usage. Forty is. Fourty may be right in Canada or wherever you are taking about but it ain't the way we spell it here.
 

Over forty and dating twentysomethings? Are you still living with your mother?
 

first he mispells forty, claims he regularly dates "twentysomethings", then makes a phd drop??

dude, this is HCwDB.... not Match.com. send in some pictures or a worthwhile analysis of DB culture... please dont suck yourself off while DB1 forces us to watch.

and shame on you, DB1, for giving this tool the honor of dishonor on this sacred site.
 

You guys all missed your chance to continue DB1's play on "fourty" with "feifty."

The main question to ask, Mr B PhD, is, "Are you both feisty?"

Now, it's time for a Friday drink, as we're all thirsty by now.
 

Nothing wrong with that. A lot of girls like that. The problem would be if you try to act like you're twenty-something in the hopes that it'd make them dig you. Cause that'd be douchey. Also, it doesn't work.
 

anyone who signs their comments "PhD".....automatic douche.
 

I don't see the problem with any type of age difference, no matter how large, between two consenting adults, but in my experience, men that make a HABIT of CONSTANTLY dating women alot younger than them have issues. Mainly emotional immaturity, often coupled with superficiality. Unless they are just banging the chicks; its understandable, that when you're just banging someone, you would mainly be concerned with looks. But if you routinely "date" people 20 years younger than you, chances are you are a douche. Sorry B.
 

@Croosh: Hahahahahahahahah!!! :P
Well played, sir!

++I so meant 32; -forgot to take my Aricept again. Where is that shit anyway??? -BRB...

--

Carry on...

--
+Oh, and Shep gets the shit slapped out of him here, but he has a fucking point about some older women. (damn sound on YT!)
 

Please. It's not feifty, it's
fivety.
 

it's not that had.

the same way that when you hear about some chick dating a guy 10 years older than her, you might say "uhhhhh welllllll it's not that bad."

take that how you will.
 

I believe the official age for automatic douchebag status is schfifty five.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XccUMOQ978
 

Don't hate the playa hate the game! play on playa!
 

You guys needs get out of your mom's basement typing away on your computers and go out and meet some real women.

Unfortunately for most of you, you can only dream of the pussy that this old fart is getting. LOL
 

^^^^^^
Old 'bag is that you?
 

this site is funny, but you try to sound really clever, but you cannot spell
 

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jokes on your muthaphuckin anon at 2:06. You obviously are too dense to detect the humor.

Get your GED at least and then come back to the site.
 

Heh, looks like my uncle's hitting the clubs again. Good for him.
 

Survey says YES, you ARE a douchebag!