D.
 

F. Pee or cum stains on your shorts is to lack of control of your 'little pistol.'
 

H. Solar power is to a flashlight
 

I. Grey Goose is to Ubiquitous Red Cup
 

Looks like he is drinking cola a la Bra!
 

Q. Graffiti by a blind, epileptic, village idiot is to baseball caps.
 

J. "He's a nice guy" is to Amanda

K. Protein Shakes are to Bench Presses

L. Plinky's mom is to Gluteal Cleft

M. Boston Douche Bag is to Irrelevance
 

After glancing over last night/early morning postings, one must admit that Douche Vader is a very patient man with diplomatic skills.

Next up , peace in the Middle East?
 

damn you vin douchal, damn you! stop making fun of my glutes and get back to work selling maps to the d-list stars' homes!
 

P. Balls is to resting on my chin

I. Smegma is to my upper lip

E. Pizza is to yummy
 

N. Pashtuns is to Punjabs.
O (for his "Outlaw" tatoo). James' to the Pinkertons.
 

@ Plinky's Mom

Not funny!
 

f. my hand is to pulling her bikini bottom string
 

A
 

My opinion on beach bling is that it makes an excellent aim point.
 

Did the government give him some more cheese to go along with that hat and mustache?
 

R. Third grade is to his High School diploma
 

S. Astronomy is to his constellation hat.
 

M. Plinky is to someone not sucking.

N. Scumbag619 is to correct spelling.

O. Frodouche is to anons.
 

f) cancer is to children.

No, wait, we're supposed to think of a bad thing? Oh.
 

Z. Being anonymous is to signifigance.
 

Questions like this is why I got kicked out of the SATs. For some reason screaming loudly while banging your head on the desk is frowned upon. Who knew?
 

V. What the post at 8:01am means to being the little creep who stares at the other boys in gym class while they shower.
 

Dang those pants were probably "Dry Clean Only"--I hate it when that happens!
 

Piss stains on your shorts is too drinking 7 cups of warm milk and by milk I mean look @ the peeking green ass, curves of love is to my hands a strokin
 

is this guy a nascar loving latino gang-banger?

there's something new.
 

P. What plinky's no-pussy getting pale flaccid torso is to this inked up ese loco.
 

@ Anon 8:37

25 minutes for that comeback? Come on Dark Sock I know you're not trying to be funny but at least ask one of your co-workers to write the "plinky sucks" material.

You're better than that big guy.
 

A Cigarette is to a health club.

Phil Collins Sussudio is to say decent song.

Bea Arthur is to Megan Fox.
 

ah yessss, natural breasts and round hips.... delightful
 

Hypno-Toad got nothing on that bikini. I'll be seeing purple and yellow swirls all day.
 

AA. connotative is to denotative
 

Style and class is to his Panther Mandanna
 

Can I choose all of the above?

I love how we only have green polkadot's booty in the picture. Nice cropping job, I'd really like to know wtf everyone is looking at though.
 

X. Ninjas are to idiots who do Dungeons and Dragons roll playing in the park. I actually saw that happen this weekend. Seattle is weird.

So I read once that there is actually a mathematical ratio between hips and waste that men are pre-programmed to be attracted to, something about ideal conditions for baby making. I don't know if that's true or not but whatever the fuck her ratio is, yes please. That is a damn near perfect curvature of hip. And furthermore, I GUARANTEE she speaks with an accent. Yum.

Hola, como esta usted? Um...que wanto mis billetas? Uh...se gusto mis walleta? Aqui!
 

As Rosanne Barr is to an erection.

On a side note, when did the world get so serious? Saw Gran Torino this weekend and laughed my ass off, but, felt somewhat guilty.

The world takes itself to seriously in my opinion.
 

Waist! Fuck. Too much metaphysical blabber last night.
 

... Bush is to america...
 

She is a delightful Chiquita.

And I have a delightful banana for her....not yellow.....plantain.....
 

@Vader

HEY HEY HEY! DO NOT MOCK THE D&D NERDS!

*Sweeps her D20s back into her drawer*

Er, wait, are you talking about live rping? You should have shot video if so, that shit is pure hilarity. I hope they were wearing costumes.

"Don't fuck with me dude! I'll slice you with my broadsword!"

*Brandish cardboard sword wrapped with tin foil*

"Man screw you, your stupid flying rat of a falcon just shat on my shoulder! That's the last time man, I'm going to make it into a roasted falcon."

*Elaborate hand motions indicating a fireball has been cast. Caster trips over mom's bathrobe because its too long screwing up his casting.*

"God damnit! You caught my shift on fire dude!"

*Flailing around a la Ricky Bobby's invisible fire episode*
 

jizz stained pair of shorts is to girl-next-door smile
 

I recommend this beauty for the hall of hott. Minimal bleeth. If only that were PBR in her faux frosty mug.
I can dream a little.
 

@Ashfish

Worry not, sweetie. I still have my AD&D Unearthed Arcana book from 1985 sitting faithfully in my bookshelf.

No, I'm talking ACTUAL roll playing. A friend of mine and I were walking in a park when, lo and behold, in the parking lot is a dude pulling what looked like a broad sword out of his trunk. It then occurred to me that his friend was dressed up like the Viking dude from the Snicker's commercial. My friend proceeded to explain that roll playing is big up there. She seemed hardly fazed by it really.

We kept seeing them wandering around the brush and hills of the park, weapons drawn. I was so dumbfounded I couldn't even mock them, much less take video. They all had to be at least 30.
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

The answer is B DB1. I think I got this question right on my SATs. I love those analogies.
 

... running is to special olympics...

..

...

still retarded
 

@Vader

You know, me and my best friend used to do that...when we were like 10. My mom actually bought me a really spiffy game that came with a tape (yeah, that's right, a cassette tape) of "adventures" for you to follow. You had to go and place all of these "treasures" in your yard as part of the quests. Everyone got a different pendant thing that gave you powers etc etc, that you could use against the evil sorceress lady.

And yet my family COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT when I started to get into other role playing games like D&D. Gogo crazy Catholics.

Back on subject:

Is it just me or does it look like his titties are deflating? Perhaps its the angle of his bend. Top that off with the fact it looks like he peed himself a bit. Yeah, I know, the site of Ed Hardy makes it hard to control my faculties too, but actually wearing it would probably render me unable to retain that slight control. That or I'd just break down crying from the burning sensation when any of those products touched me.
 

Son, you gotta van paintin' on yo haiyud.

Unt zer pee pee pannz. Ach du liederhosen!
 

Forget the gay bling, what about the fact that he's wearing a bejeweled hat? Seriously? Showing your boxers? Never appropriate or cool. What a douche.
 

f) as crabs are to her crevasse... as in quite at home on the Jerz shore
 

Assfuzz is to the face

This scrote looks oddly similar to Kettlehead... I know assfuzz to the upperlip and chin are commonplace to the douche, but this guy looks oddly similar...
 

G is to one nipple being bigger than the other

H is to goo stain in shorts

I is to muleststache
 

F. Kettlehead in summer fashion (looks very much like the "brah" from the previous photo!)
 

@Anon 8:01

You're still bitter about that, huh?

I'd say "B" because Hardy is the bubonic plague of our civilization..

fuck anons, dj bello, and fish slap
 

I agree Cameron, Kettlehead it is. NOW... were we to battle with Lions at our backs for choice of first choice hott out of his 2 pictures, which would you decide...
 

I take it back. I want to come back as a frosty mug full of wine cooler! Yowza, she's smokin'!
 

Hmmmm, spy I do on his shorts a pee stain!

I see that failed my young Padawan has at Elementary Holding It In.
 

b... it's gotta be b.

Or f) mimes are to turbo powered combines.
 

It's nice he went for the 'lion taking a shit on my head' outfit over the 'elephant ramming its trunk in my rectum' shorts, much classier
 

Ah, fuck it.
 

hot. small boobies, but hot...
i think she must have some of that salve that jodie foster puts under her nostrils in "silence of the lambs" when she examines the rotting bloated corpse from the river, because she is smiling contentedly whilst rubbing up against that giant pile of doo doo.
 

since most of the HCwDB regulars have used up the English alphabet, i propose that now would be a good time for Mr. White to insert some humor related to Greek letters in mathematical functions. i expect delta to be popular with Kettlehead and sigma to be popular with the hottie.
 

I have no vote, but straight to the hall of hott for her...if she ditches the plastic piece of shit in her hand. She can hang on to the beer though.
 

B. No, D. No, B!
 

as...

Scroteskin is to labial folds

Jockstrap is to skimpy bikini bottom

Flaccid gimp is to pleasingly plump
 

y'all dumb fux are missing the analogies. You're just pasting permutations of comical people and relationships. C'mon!

It's B! Ed Hardy is a plague to Western Civilization. 'Bags sporting bling at the beach plagues the boobie. So much so that I can't even get a quick tug out to Beatrice this morning.
 

E.

Douche & hott wait
Neither will dare score
Until Youtube cameras arrive

Not sure if that's proper haiku...
 

Gawwwwd ah luv herrrrr!